Those Who Can, Date, page 17
Kellar tried to hold back her sarcasm. “Yes, I certainly do.” How it was, was that once he left her mother, her father couldn’t stick with one woman. She occasionally received updates about him and his current relationships from the cousins, aunts, and uncles on his side of the family. But he didn’t need to know that.
“So anyway, as I was saying about this high stakes tournament, the entry fee is a hundred K. I’m having a bit of a cash flow issue at the moment, so I thought—”
“That’s why you’re here?” Keller spluttered in outrage, though she shouldn’t be surprised.
“I figured, hey, you’re doing pretty well, maybe you’d like to invest in your old man. I even saw your book in the airport. I think it’s great, honey. You’re on the talk shows, you’ve got an actor boyfriend. And not just any actor. Dayman MacDay. He’s in the top ten of the Forbes five hundred—”
Kellar stood. “Get out.”
“I met him. Did he tell you? I always pay my investors back, you know. With interest, of course.”
“Get. Out.”
This time he heard her. “What?”
“This can’t be the first time a woman’s said that to you. Get. Out.”
Rory gained his feet. “What’s wrong, honey?”
“Don’t call me that. I’m not your honey.”
“You’re not honey. And you’re not my second best—”
Kellar slapped him across the face hard enough to leave a red mark on his cheek. He reached up to touch it, eyes glittering, a wounded expression on his face. Kellar never realized until that moment how much she’d longed to lash out at him. Or how good it would feel.
“What was that for?” he asked, rubbing his cheek.
“If you can’t figure it out after all these years, it’s not my problem.” She went to the door and held it open.
He sauntered toward her, hands in his pockets, like a little boy who’d been caught and thought charm might get him out of trouble.
“I guess I deserved that,” he said. “I won’t hold it against you.” He lifted a brow.
Kellar jerked her head toward the threshold. The moment he was on the other side, she slammed the door as hard as she could and twisted the deadbolt. Her hands shook as she went into the kitchen and opened the cabinet door to her liquor supply. Ah, there. She took down a bottle of blended whiskey and a highball glass, poured a finger, and knocked it back.
Too much adrenaline. Too many emotions to process all at once. A surprise visit from her father was just... too much. She splashed a bit more whiskey into the glass and swallowed it in one gulp. The alcohol helped. She felt slightly calmer, if a little tipsy.
There came another knock on the door. If that was him again, if he tried to smarm and charm his way back into her life, she’d, well, she didn’t know what she’d do. But it would be more than a slap.
Through the peephole she saw that it was not her father. Cautiously she opened the door, but Rory was gone. Day offered his trademark smile and looked absolutely delicious in a gray polo shirt and black slacks. The minute he stepped inside, she locked her arms around him.
He didn’t have to be told what she needed. He held her the way she held him. She laid her head on his shoulder and sighed. Why did she have to like him so much? She liked everything about him. She breathed in his scent, a mix of citrus and spice. Was Day the only person she ever truly relaxed around? It felt that way sometimes. He expected nothing from her except her. And right now, she needed that more than anything. Not to be made to feel second best. Not to be used or manipulated. Not to be disappointed by someone who was supposed to love her unconditionally. Just accepted for herself.
One of Day’s hands cupped the back of her head. He kissed her hair. Just the slightest press of his lips. That tiny gesture of caring gave her so much comfort right now.
“Tough day?”
She nodded against his shoulder, loving the feel of the soft cotton blend of his shirt against her face.
“You started drinking without me?”
Kellar smiled and nodded again.
“Whiskey?”
Another nod.
“Can I have some?”
She straightened so she could look into his eyes. “You’re the best man.”
“Is someone getting married?”
“Unh uh. You’re the best man I’ve ever met. The best man in my life.”
Day peered at her. “How much did you have to drink?”
Kellar straightened, cupped his jaw, and pressed a kiss on his cheek. He followed her to the kitchen. She poured him a drink and herself another. They both sipped before she said, “My father was just here.”
Day waited a beat. “And I’m guessing comparisons are being made.”
“There is no comparison.”
Day took a sip of his whiskey. “In the interest of full disclosure, he waylaid me in the parking lot.”
“Oh, my God. I can’t believe him. Did he ask if you had a spare hundred grand to loan him?”
Day chuckled. “No, not this time. Why would he?”
Kellar plunked her elbows on the counter and buried her fingers in her hair. She shook her head. “I honest to God cannot believe this is happening.”
When she felt Day’s touch on her back, she straightened and tried for a smile. But her gaze skittered away. She picked up her glass and drained it, then grabbed the bottle and strode to the sofa, where she plopped down and poured out some more.
“Better go easy on that,” Day warned.
She pushed the bottle in his direction and settled back against the cushions. “I’m done after this. I just...”
Day took the chair across from her and waited.
“I haven’t seen my dad in five years. And then he shows up, reminds me I’m second best, and asks to borrow a hundred grand.”
“Second best? What’s that all about?”
Kellar looked at him. “Funny that’s what you pick up on.”
“Gone for five years and wants to borrow money? I understand both of those,” Day clarified. “‘Second best’ is a mystery.”
Kellar studied the amber liquid in her glass. “Adrienne came first. He called her his best girl. By the time I came along, there was nothing left for me but being his second-best girl.”
“Ouch.”
Her gaze rose to meet his. “I don’t think I realized how much it hurt me to hear that from him my whole childhood until he said it again just now. Second best. I told him to never call me that again.”
Day gave her an encouraging smile. “Good for you.”
She smiled back. “And I slapped him. God, that felt good.”
“I bet.” He eyed her glass for a moment before bringing his attention back to her. “When I met him just now, he reminded me we’ve met before.”
Kellar stared at him. “You’ve met my father? You know who he is, and you never told me?”
“I met him in Vegas over a year ago. I didn’t know you then and I didn’t know he was your father. He used the name Rory McAlister, not Rory Kennedy, so I never made the connection.”
Kellar thought about it. “I guess that makes sense. McAlister’s his middle name. How did you two meet?”
“I was there for the kickoff for Jamie Falcon’s vodka brand. Your father literally ran into me, and we got to talking.”
Kellar waited, as if sensing there was more Day needed or wanted to say.
“He’s actually the inspiration for the film I’m making.”
“My father inspired you? I find that hard to believe.”
“I’ll explain. Still feel like dinner?”
“Sushi?”
“Perfect.”
Kellar stood and took a moment to steady herself. “Give me five minutes.” In her room, she stripped off the shirt and donned a camisole and the boho top she’d been considering before, trying to wrap her head around the fact that Day and Rory were already acquainted. She honestly didn’t see how her father could inspire anything other than devastation and disappointment. She clipped her hair up, leaving a few strands loose around her face, and slid her feet into comfortable lug sole sandals.
The pressure she’d felt earlier over choosing an outfit disappeared. Day wanted her company over a meal and what she wore didn’t matter. If they were photographed together, they would look exactly like what they were. Friends.
MAI-LEE’S WAS MORE crowded than the last time they were here, and Kellar wondered if it had anything to do with their previous visit. All it took was a few cell phone pics of celebrity sightings posted on Instagram or X for the place to enter the trending restaurant zeitgeist. They waited only briefly for a table in the corner furthest from the entrance, and without really intending to, duplicated their order from the prior visit.
While they waited, Day said, “So tell me about your father.”
“I’d really rather not.” Hadn’t Day picked up on that?
“I get it. But obviously I’m interested in the story. How he left. Why he left. How it made you and your mom, and your sister feel.”
“Really, Day? How do you think it made us feel? Devastated. Abandoned. Hurt. Angry. Name a painful emotion, we probably experienced it.”
“I was hoping you’d say that.”
Kellar stared at Day. “What?”
“I’m not looking to glorify gambling,” he said. “When I said your father inspired me, I didn’t say I found him inspiring. His story inspired me to make a film about the way these addicts are clueless how their behavior hurts others. Especially their families.”
“Oh.”
“Him showing up and saying those things to you just now is a perfect example. Hearing your side will help me add depth to the characters and show them for what and who they are. It might also help me figure out what makes you tick.”
“Your film isn’t glorifying gambling?”
“Of course not.”
Kellar drank some of her beer to fortify herself. After she set the glass back down, she answered Day’s earlier question. “I’d just turned fifteen.”
“Walk me through it. Did he leave for work one day and never come home?”
She shifted uncomfortably. “God, I really don’t want to talk about him.”
“I don’t want to talk about him, either. I want to know how his behavior impacted you.”
Suspicion narrowed her eyes. “Why? It can’t just be about the movie.”
Day grinned. “Only you, Kellar, could take a friend’s interest in you and need a reason for it.”
Kellar peered into her beer.
“You rag on guys because they don’t listen,” Day went on. “They don’t ask women about themselves or if they do, they don’t hear the answers. I know, I know. This isn’t a date. We’re not dating. But I am interested. And I do listen.”
“Is this another of Day’s dating tips? If a guy asks you about childhood trauma, don’t be reluctant to share the details?”
Day held up his hands, palms out. “No, of course not. Sorry I pushed.”
She studied him.
The fact that he backed off so quickly made her rethink her decision not to talk about her father. Was he using reverse psychology on her? To what end? It’s not like he would use anything she told him against her. What had she said to him earlier? He was the best man in her life. And surprisingly, she’d begun to trust him.
“Are you going to use what I say as fodder for your film?”
“In the interest of full disclosure, I can’t promise not to. Or to incorporate some aspects of what you tell me.”
Kellar sat back and regarded Day with a slight frown. What was he really after? They’d agreed to use each other from the outset, but was he using her now in a different way? “How long have you known I’m Rory’s daughter?”
“Not long. Chazz discovered it while doing research.” Day leaned closer. “Kellar, look. I’ve already got the gambler’s perspective. I’ve interviewed quite a few of them, not just your father. But that’s only part of the story I want to tell. I need to understand, everyone needs to understand, how this kind of addiction affects those in their circle. The trail of devastation they leave in their wake.”
Kellar looked down at her beer, trailing her thumb through the condensation on the glass.
“It might help someone else,” Day said gently. “To know what you went through. Are going through. How you not only survived but flourished.”
She looked back up at him. She rarely thought of herself as a survivor. Or flourishing. She attributed her success to working her ass off and keeping her nose to the grindstone. Subconsciously, she strove to be the best at everything she did instead of second best.
“It might also help you to talk about it, but I understand if you’d rather not.”
Again, she noticed the lack of pressure being with Day inspired. “I’ll tell you. But after I do, the subject will be off limits. Understood?”
Day hesitated before he agreed. “If that’s what you want.”
Kellar took a fortifying drink of beer.
“Dad traveled a lot. He was in commercial equipment sales, and he was good at it. When I was fifteen, he won a trip to Vegas for having the highest sales in the region. He and mom were supposed to go for a long weekend, but I came down with the worst case of the flu I’ve ever had. Even though Poppy and Adrienne were there to take care of me, Mom wouldn’t leave. Dad went without her. He called the following Monday and said he wasn’t coming back.”
“Just like that?”
“It wasn’t, but that’s how it felt to me. I didn’t know the extent of what was going on with him until later, but he always gambled. When he was on the road for work, he stopped at the Indian casinos or the riverboats. That’s why he and mom used to fight about money. Once he got to Vegas, that was it for him. For us.”
Their sushi platter arrived but she wasn’t sure she could eat. Instead, she drank some more of the beer.
Day’s appetite appeared unaffected. Kellar watched as he doused a couple of rolls in soy sauce and dabbed them with wasabi. He looked up from his plate. “Go on. I’m listening.”
Kellar sighed. “Dad decided to stay in Vegas to gamble full time. Mom worked her ass off to keep the house, to make things as normal as possible for us, but she was so sad.” Kellar transferred one of the rolls to her plate. She picked at the edges of it with her chopsticks. “We were all sad.”
She blinked at the lobster and avocado roll, as she took herself back to that awful time. All the feelings she didn’t know how to deal with. She didn’t want to go back there.
Her head came up and she smiled at Day. “But we picked ourselves up and went on, the three of us, without him.”
“You never heard from him?”
Kellar made herself swallow the sushi because she needed something in her stomach besides alcohol. “He’d call occasionally. He sent Mom money when he had it. But it wasn’t regular.”
She told him about how she refused to speak to Rory when he called. She never opened the Christmas gifts he sent that first year and initially wanted nothing to do with the birthday check. But she needed money to order a yearbook, so she reluctantly signed it over and her mother deposited it. No one was surprised when the check bounced. Somehow, the yearbook order went through anyway. Kellar later discovered Poppy had paid for it.
“You were really blindsided when he left. Did you feel like you didn’t know him at all?”
Kellar thought about it. “Well, when you’re a kid, you expect your parents to be there. If they abandon you, it sticks with you, you know? I think his leaving forced me to drop whatever illusions I’d had about him. I’d always known I couldn’t trust him a hundred percent. Him leaving proved I was right.”
“Probably made it hard for you to trust other people too.”
“Everybody’s got baggage courtesy of their family. Except for you,” she amended. “With your wonderful parents and ideal childhood.”
“Yeah, you’d think I wouldn’t have any baggage, but weirdly, it works both ways, I think.”
“How so?” Kellar took another piece of sushi.
“For one thing, I think I’ve been searching for what my parents have. The kind of relationship that just works, you know? Remember that old line, ‘you complete me’?” Like that. Because that’s the example I grew up with.
“And not having a lot of baggage? I think it’s held me back in some ways. Especially career-wise.”
“How so?” Kellar repeated, finding the conversation fascinating.
“When you don’t have to overcome a lot of difficulties early in life, you expect everything to be easy. I think I’d have more range as an actor if I’d had more challenges. I don’t take a lot of dramatic roles. I stick to romcoms or action/adventure because you don’t usually have to go as deeply into a character. I know my limits.”
“You’ve thought a lot about this, haven’t you?”
“I like to think I’m aware of my strengths and weaknesses. If I don’t think I can do a role justice, I pass. I’m going to find playing the role of a gambler extremely challenging. I want the audience to understand why he is the way he is.”
“Well, let me help you. He showed up for Adrienne’s wedding at the last minute. She’d already asked Grandpa to walk her down the aisle. The last time I saw my dad was at my grandfather’s funeral, his father’s. By then he had remarried and had a couple of kids with his new wife. But he told me yesterday they’ve split up.”
Kellar now found it easier to concentrate on eating, so she selected another roll.
“Do you have a relationship with them? Your half-siblings, I mean?”
“Haven’t met them.”
“Are there others? Ex-wives or half-siblings?”
“I don’t know. I hope not. I wouldn’t wish him as a father or a husband on anyone.”
“What about when you were younger? Before he left? How was he as a father then?”
Despite her better judgment, Kellar finished her beer. And when the server appeared, she ordered another. “He was actually one of those fun dads. He’d take us on what he called adventures. Miniature golf, a movie, the bookstore. Little things that he treated as bigger than life. Or we’d go to an animal shelter to visit the puppies and kittens. A stable for horseback rides. Things like that.
