Those Who Can, Date, page 24
They’re pretty chummy, aren’t they?
“And Mandy, you’re going to work with Nate to minimize mentions of my involvement as much as possible.”
“We’ve already discussed it and decided on a couple of strategies that will keep you in the background.” Mandy was Day’s publicist, but what she said made no sense. “But initially at least, you’re going to be the face and the spokesperson for the foundation. The genesis of the film, overlaid with Rory’s memoir and your part in his recovery is going to give us the momentum we need to get the kind of exposure we’re looking for.
“Anything to report on the Jeanine Hartman problem?”
“We’re handling it,” Mandy said. “That’s what you pay us for.”
Now Chazz was speaking, but there was too much noise in Kellar’s brain to pay attention to what he said. She’d decided she’d stood here long enough. Been kept in the dark about whatever was happening. She took a step toward the door, planning to get some answers when movement from the hallway leading from the master suite snared her attention.
Willow Thorne appeared, wrapped in an oversized bathrobe, rubbing at her sleepy eyes. She caught sight of Kellar with her cardboard carrier of smoothies and a bag of food.
Willow yawned. “What’s going on?” she asked.
“That’s what I’d like to know,” Kellar knew her voice was too loud, everyone in the office could no doubt hear her.
The partially closed door swung all the way open, and Day appeared, followed by Chazz. She got a glimpse of an oversized screen where her father’s face and that of another man who must be the ghostwriter, along with Mandy’s appeared.
It was too much. Suddenly, Kellar felt overwhelmed and stupidly, naively foolish. She’d wanted to discount Jeanine Hartman’s questions and insinuations, but apparently the intrepid reporter knew more than she did not only about her father, but also about her boyfriend.
Kellar had been on the verge of trusting Day. No. Correction. She had trusted Day. She’d been ready to take their relationship to the next level, to truly open herself up to him, to see where they could go together. But Day apparently had gone in a completely different direction.
Without her.
Her gaze turned to Willow, then over Day’s shoulder to where the Zoom call screen loomed behind Chazz.
Every nightmare she’d ever had about heartbreak came true. The crushing weight of Day’s betrayal squeezed around her. She couldn’t believe it.
Could. Not. Freaking. Believe. It.
She’d come full circle. He’d bailed on her once and she’d known deep inside he’d do it again. But being right did not make it hurt less.
Day took a step forward. “Kellar.” He came toward her but stopped when he saw Willow.
“No.” The single strangled word worked its way out with difficulty. She did not want him to get any closer. To tell her the truth about him and Willow. About him and her father. To anything.
She sent the tray of drinks sailing in Day’s direction. Day jumped back as the smoothies splashed everywhere. She whirled away. The door. Where was the door?
“Kellar,” Day called. “Wait.”
Kellar got through the front door, slammed it behind her, and stumbled to her car. Day bolted out of the house while she fumbled with the ignition key. Oh God. She did not want a confrontation. She did not want Day to see the foolish, useless tears pressing for release. She didn’t want his pity or his lame attempts to ease the pain she felt.
Day reached the car just as she tore out of the driveway, barely checking for traffic on the road.
Rage surged through her, and she pounded on the steering wheel the entire drive home. Why? Day could have any woman he wanted. She wasn’t his type and yet he had pursued her. He’d been relentless, damn him, but why?
Her inner child sobbed. They’d been fine as friends. She’d managed to keep a lid on her feelings. She’d been realistic. Down-to-earth. Day was a player, and the very last thing she had wanted to be was one of his playthings. And yet, here she was... played.
And what in the world was her father of all people doing in the middle of this? What was that talk about a book deal? A ghostwriter? The movie? Just when she’d finally started to feel good about her father after all these years, apparently, he’d been in cahoots with Day. Behind her back. The two of them! She couldn’t trust either of them.
She had no one to blame but herself. That truth burned worst of all. She’d started to believe in the sincerity of everything Day shared with her. She’d begun to think there was something real and genuine between them. Something they both sensed and wanted.
She glanced at her reflection in the rear-view mirror. “You are such an idiot. Some dating expert you are. You don’t know anything. You’re a fraud. A big fat fraud.”
Her cell phone rang. Day. She let it go to voice mail. The phone pinged with a text message. She picked up the phone and turned it off. She rolled her window down because she was finding it hard to breathe. She took in the late morning air, making herself take deep breaths, willing herself to calm down.
She knew what Day would probably do now. He’d try to explain. Apologize. Or would he? Would he come knocking on her door? Ugh. She could just imagine the ensuing scene. What if he didn’t knock on her door? Oh, God. That would be even worse, wouldn’t it? Proof positive that she wasn’t even important enough for him to have a scene with.
She didn’t think she could live through either of those scenarios. Before she arrived at her townhouse, she had to make a plan.
DAY POUNDED ON KELLAR’S front door, feeling it shudder slightly under his fist. He couldn’t believe she’d run off without even letting him explain.
He’d been juggling a few too many secrets while walking a tightrope of half-truths and omissions. Knowing he’d never outright lied to Kellar was no comfort now. In hindsight what he should have done was sit her down and tell her everything. But how could he when events were still evolving with their friendship, the film, her father, Willow. He guessed Kellar wasn’t the only one with trust issues. But if he were honest with himself, he’d feared she’d terminate their relationship and he didn’t want that. He never wanted that.
Okay, he could see that it looked bad, her showing up unexpectedly and finding him on a Zoom call with her father, talking about a book deal. Plus, Willow’s appearance made it clear she’d spent the night. As the saying went, the optics were bad.
As long as he lived, he didn’t think he’d ever forget the look of devastation on Kellar’s face. He hated knowing he had caused it. But still, she didn’t have to bail on him.
He’d have loved it if the scene had played out differently, with the two of them sharing lunch, and maybe, finally, much more.
“DAMMIT.”
The door to the unit adjacent to Kellar’s opened and her rumpled-looking neighbor appeared. “She’s not there,” the redhead said helpfully, cinching a knot in the belt of her bathrobe.
Day reigned in his temper. “Do you know where she is?”
“Not anymore. Tore in here earlier like a bat out of hell. Asked if I’d water her plants. Course I said yes. I always do. Tore out again. Funny thing is, she just got back yesterday.”
Day sighed. “Thanks.”
“Could you?” she asked hesitantly. “Would you mind?”
She edged toward him with a notepad.
“What?”
“Can I get your autograph?” from the pocket of her robe she produced a ball-point pen.”
Day sighed. “Yeah, sure.”
“I’m Cindy.”
“K.K. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? You didn’t even let him explain.” Adrienne sounded annoyed, if not angry.
“Excuse me, A.K. Did you miss the part about where I found him in a meeting with our father? And another woman wandering out of his bedroom wearing his bathrobe?” She shouted the last part.
“I know. I know. It looks bad.”
“Damn right it does.”
“And I know he and Willow Whatshername go back a long way.”
“Damn right they do.”
“But I thought he told you they’d never been romantically involved.”
“That’s what he said,” Kellar snapped.
“Well...”
“Well, what?”
“I know it’s not the same, but you two weren’t romantically involved for a long time, either.”
“So?”
“But everyone thought you were.”
“Your point?”
“Maybe it wasn’t what it looked like—”
“If you are going to say he might have a reasonable explanation for all of this, I’m going to hang up on you,” Kellar warned.
“All I’m saying is Day’s a serial dater. A player. Whatever you want to call it. But I’ve never heard of him cheating on anyone before. Have you?”
Kellar mulled that over and silently conceded her sister might have a point. If Day had cheated on any of his girlfriends, the press would have exposed it. Or the girlfriend might have.
“K.K., come on. I’ve seen the two of you together, remember? You’ve got this, I don’t know, this way between you. Like you get each other. Like you bask in each other’s glow.”
“Gag me.”
“You’re going to have to talk to him at some point, right?”
“Probably. If he even bothers to try to explain.”
“You know he will. Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I don’t know what’s worse. Seeing Willow there or seeing that it was Dad he was talking to. Last I knew Day chewed Dad out for hitting me up for a loan, so what’s that all about?”
“Speaking of Dad, he showed up here yesterday.”
“What?”
“Yeah, I was going to call you later and tell you.”
“He just showed up at the house out of the blue?”
“He did. Said he knew he didn’t deserve it, but he wanted to talk to me. And to Mom. He told us he’s in Gamblers Anonymous. He said he was sorry for how he treated us. He wants to make amends. That’s one of the steps, you know.”
“Did you buy it?”
There was a pause before Adrienne answered. “I don’t know, but he seemed sincere. He talked to Mom in private for a little while before she left for work. He wanted to know how Gracie was doing. He even played a game of Candyland with her. It was kind of sweet.”
Kellar tried to process what she was hearing. Tried to set her skepticism aside. “I wonder how he plans to make amends after all this time.”
Adrienne chuckled. “I suggested if he was so interested in making up for the past, he could go get tested for bone marrow donation. I made sure he knew everyone else in the family, and even some of our friends did.”
“Did he go?”
“He said he would. But I don’t know if he followed through or not.”
“It’d be pretty ironic if he turned out to be a match for Gracie, wouldn’t it?”
“Considering he’s ignored her up until now.”
“He came to see me in New York.”
“And you didn’t tell me?”
“Same as you. I was going to as soon as we had time to really talk. I didn’t know what to make of it or whether I believed him.” Kellar felt more confused than ever.
“You could have stayed, KK. You could have let Day and Dad explain,” Adrienne pointed out as gently as possible.
“No, Age, I couldn’t. Right at that moment, I honestly couldn’t. After the stuff Jeanine Hartman said and then hearing and seeing what I saw? It was just—too much for me to take in.”
“But now you don’t have answers.”
“What I do have is a headache. God, how did I screw this up so bad?”
“I don’t think you have. Not permanently, anyway.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow night,” Kellar said. She didn’t want to talk anymore. To anyone.
“I can’t believe you’re driving here,” Adrienne said.
“I’m hanging up now.” Kellar disconnected and dropped the phone in the passenger seat.
She really did have a headache because, thanks to Day, she hadn’t had any food. She needed massive amounts of caffeine and a big greasy breakfast. And she was going to get it at the next truck stop she came across.
“DAY’S HERE.”
Kellar rolled over and stared at her sister. “Here here?”
Adrienne nodded and sat at the edge of the bed. “Gracie’s ecstatic. He said he’d try to come for her birthday, remember? You have to talk to him.”
Kellar rolled away. Suddenly her brilliant plan to get away from Day didn’t seem so brilliant anymore. She’d been there when he made that promise.
“I know,” she said to the pillow. But she didn’t want to. She was exhausted. She’d arrived late last night feeling bloated from all the food she’d eaten on the road, upset at the interruption of her schedule, and emotional from too many feelings and too much uncertainty. She’d spent most of the driving time crying and questioning her own behavior. Hadn’t she just vowed to stop expecting the worst?
Footsteps sounded in the hallway and there was a tap on the door Adrienne had left ajar. It eased open and her heart went into overdrive. Adrienne patted her on the thigh and Kellar felt her weight leave the bed. Then her footsteps retreated. The door closed softly behind her. Oh God. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want Day to see what a mess she was. Didn’t want him to know that she regretted choosing her familiar reaction at the first sign of trouble.
Seconds ticked by. She didn’t move. She thought he’d stopped at the foot of the bed. He must be watching her. Maybe he didn’t know what to say either? Surely, he did, though. He was an expert at breaking hearts, right? Maybe he’d been rehearsing a new line just for her.
“Hey. Are you going to talk to me or what?”
“What.” She said it like a petulant teenager.
“I can’t believe you bailed on me,” he said.
She shot up, forgetting her puffy eyes, messy hair, and reddened nose. “I bailed on you? I think you got that backwards, buddy.”
“One bump in the road and you run away,” Day said. “Isn’t that exactly what you accuse men of doing to your many female followers?”
“Excuse me? Another woman spending the night in your bed is more than just a bump in the road to me.”
“I’ve told you Willow is a friend, and yes, she spent the night, but I’ve never slept with her. And as for your father, I met him a year before I met you. I told you he helped me with research. Now we’re working on a project together. You didn’t give me a chance to explain anything.”
Kellar looked into his eyes. He looked rumpled and weary with a day’s worth of scruff along his jaw. She wanted to believe him. She wanted to trust him. Could he fake that kind of sincerity? He was an actor, but still...
He sat on the edge of the bed next to her. “Kellar, I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you.”
“That’s what you said to all the women you hurt.”
The dagger hit home. “I can’t win, can I? Because I’ve had relationships that didn’t work out, because people got hurt, I must be a liar and a cheat, is that it? Did you ever think maybe I got hurt, too? Did you ever think maybe I wanted a relationship to stick, and I was sad when it didn’t?”
“Of course, but—”
“But what?” Day didn’t hide his exasperation.
Kellar cringed at his tone.
“What were you going to say? That it’s not the same? That men never get hurt the way women do? That it’s easy for us to walk away and never look back?”
“Something like that,” Kellar admitted dully.
“Damn you,” he swore softly. “Why do you think I’m here?”
“For Gracie?”
“You haven’t got a clue, do you? You don’t know love when it comes along and blows up in your face. You’re not an expert in dating. You’re an expert in disappointment. Because that’s what you expect. You look for it. You seek it out. And you’re happy when you find it. Because then you get to be right. Why don’t you put that in a blog and post it?” He got up and walked out.
“Day, wait,” she called. But his footsteps pounded away.
HOURS LATER, KELLAR dragged herself out of bed and into the shower. She did her best to make herself presentable, but she still felt disoriented, sluggish, and heartbroken. Especially heartbroken. She made her way downstairs and found Adrienne in the kitchen with Gracie.
“K.K.!” Gracie exclaimed. “Look what Day got me!” Kellar forced herself to ooh and aah over the extravagant princess playset.
As soon as she could, she escaped to a bar stool. “Is he gone?” she whispered to Adrienne.
“Yes. He said he had to get back to LA, and he didn’t mention anything about coming back.” Adrienne opened the refrigerator and removed a bottle of pinot grigio from the door. She poured two glasses and slid one in front of Kellar.
Kellar stared into the glass wishing the pale liquid could give her some answers.
He left you this. She held up a DVD case.
“What’s that?” Kellar asked dully.
“I don’t know. He suggested we watch it after Gracie goes to bed.”
BY ELEVEN THAT NIGHT, an empty bottle of wine held place of honor on the coffee table, surrounded by crumpled tissues. The credits were still rolling when Adrienne hit the pause button on her laptop.
“Wow,” she said. “Look at that. Proceeds from this film will be donated to the Grace Finley Fund at Bartlett Children’s Hospital, Centerstone Recovery Center, and to The Families of Gamblers Foundation.” Adrienne stared at her. “He’s established a charity in Gracie’s honor. Can you believe that? I don’t know what The Families of Gamblers Foundation is, but it sounds impressive.”
Kellar had no words. Too stunned to speak, she continued to stare at the frozen screen.
“He really nailed it,” Adrienne said, her voice filled with awe.
Kellar agreed one hundred percent. It was like Day had taken what she’d written in her journal, taken everything she felt about her father and somehow transformed it so that anyone who saw this film would know and feel exactly what she’d known and felt. How had he done that? Day wasn’t lining his own pockets by exploiting her experience. He was giving back.
