My Own Human, page 12
“Yeah… I just panicked…” I admitted, kicking a little rock on the pavement.
“Why?”
“If she shook your hand, I’m pretty sure she would have noticed. She wouldn’t have known that you were human, but she would have known that something was off…” I mumbled, going with a scientific explanation and deciding that I’d leave out the jealousy part of the story. She didn’t need to know I was terrified of her finding another vampire who could take better care of her.
Heather scratched the back of her neck. “Because my skin is hotter?”
I tried to hide the relief that my story had ground to stand on. “Yes.”
“And because you are all stronger?”
“Yeah, maybe, no. I guess not.” Good Adrianna, those were indeed all the answers.
“Why is that?”
“Well… We don’t have a tighter grip or push harder or stomp harder with our feet, you know, stuff like that, but we can if we want. I mean, our muscles have a higher efficiency percentage. Yours are about 20% because your muscles have to generate so much heat and stuff like that. Ours are much more efficient, maybe at a 35% mark?”
My blondie tilted her head. “Oh. That makes sense. I guess?”
“Yup. So we posses much more force, but it doesn’t show in daily aspects. Although when giving a handshake, it might. I mean, she might have tried to crush your hand, vampire or not,” I muttered, recalling some of Grace’s rather aggressive tactics.
“Why is that?” Heather inquired, making me already regret my statement. Why oh why did I feel the need to drag the past back up?
“Because, just because. I know her?” I scrambled for an answer, hoping Heather would just drop it.
“Aha.”
“Yup…” I trailed off, crossing my fingers in my pocket she would just let this whole Grace thing go.
“So, what was the “Helena” thing about?”
I was glad I had a proper explanation for this one at least. “She saw us kissing. This is a giant town, but rumours spread like wildfire and things always reach Dad.”
Heather frowned, a different kind of crease appearing on her face. “So? He doesn’t want you kissing girls?”
“Oh, he doesn’t mind me kissing girls, or guys for that matter. But I don’t think he would have liked hearing about his vampire daughter kissing a girl called “Heather”,” I added, shrugging as I made a very valid point.
Heather’s eyes lit up in the faint sunlight. “Right… Smart thinking!”
I smiled, having to admit she looked much better under natural light than stowed away in my little flat. I turned on my feet, ready to leave this whole Grace thing behind.
“So… Who was she anyway?”
So close!
“Wow. I. Ummm…”
“Hahaha, not a question you like to answer?” Heather chuckled out loud, a broad smile gracing her lips. At least she looked rather amused and not angry?
“No. Yes. I mean… Fuck,” I stuttered, falling over my own words. Damn it.
My blondie shrugged, waving away her question. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to tell me. It’s not my business.”
I studied her features, wondering if she really meant that. But even if she did, I wanted to explain. I needed to. “Yes it is. She is just an old classmate, but she had an enormous crush on me for years…”
Why, oh why did I add that?
“Had? I think “has” is more appropriate,” Heather added, nudging me lightly.
“What? Oh, no, I don’t think so…” I disagreed, trailing off as I thought over her assessment.
“You don’t sound so sure,” Heather noticed.
“It’s because I’m not.”
“Aha. And, did you like her back?”
“No. Yes. I thought I did. We had a very, very short fling but… Turns out she just isn’t my thing…”
Heather irked an eyebrow. “Not your thing?”
“Nope,” I smiled, popping the P.
“So what is?” she inquired, her dark purple eyes boring into mine. Unusual.
“Apparently you are,” I blurted out, immediately mentally smacking myself on the forehead. Why did I say that? Why?!
I braced myself for the fall-out to that confession, but Heather just lightly smiled. And even with all the powder and cream, underneath the plastered on perfection, I could see her blush.
“Let’s walk again,” she mumbled, this time pulling me along.
Chapter 16
The Library
AFTER THE SLOWEST walk I had ever taken through the city, we finally reached the busier part of town. I gulped, knowing that I would probably run into some current friends, some old friends, some acquaintances, and some old work colleagues. It was almost impossible not to. After 265 years, it was inevitable to know almost everyone there was to know. And all these people knew Dad.
I didn’t even notice until Heather frowned at me. I studied her confused look, realising I had pulled my hand out ofHeather’s.
“Ade?”
“I… I just. Hmm…” I wished I had a good excuse, but my action was pretty damn clear.
“What?” she challenged, daring me to lie.
“I just know a lot of people in town…”
“So?”
“Well…” I scratched the back of my neck, cowering under her hard glare. Her purple eyes made it even more scary than usual.
“You don’t want to be seen with me,” she stated crudely.
“No, no, no. . . Not exactly…” I trailed off, wondering how I could save myself.
“Not exactly?” she repeated sharply, her eyes boring holes into my skull.
I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat. This was not going well. “I just… People are going to ask who you are and…”
“And what?” she interrupted, her voice filled with something I didn’t understand.
“Hey! Let me explain,” I grumbled, not liking how she kept cutting me off.
“So explain,” she snapped.
“I can’t tell people who you are exactly, so I’ll have to lie, give you another name and it’ll reach Father. No doubt. This city is big, but in all these years, you get to know a lot of people.”
“So?”
“He’ll ask about “you” and I’ll have to lie and well, it’s just easier to introduce you as a friend, not my…”
“Not your… What?”
“Do we have to do this now?” I sighed, glaring at the sky. Why was it such a bright day? It was almost like the sun was mocking me.
“Adrianna,” she deadpanned, glaring at me with her fake purple eyes. Yes, I disliked them more and more.
“Heather,” I answered, not particularly liking the way she was talking to me.
With a loud scoff, she turned on her heels. “You know what? Forget it. Let’s just walk and do your stupid experiment.”
“Heather, look, I’m sorry,” I tried, but she was already walking away from me, my words lost in the wind. “Heather,” I groaned, jogging after her. “Don’t be silly.”
She faced me, her eyes blazing fire. “Oh, I’m silly now?”
“Come on, you know I didn’t mean it that way… I just…” I tried to save, but with every word I said, I just dug a deeper hole for myself.
“You just what? Are embarrassed? Are ashamed? Huh, is that it?”
“What? That’s not what I was going to say?!” I exclaimed, surprised how one girl could get under my skin so easily. Anyone else, and I wouldn’t have bothered carry on this pointless discussion.
“You’re not denying it!” she sneered.
“No. I mean, yes. No to being embarrassed, yes to denying it.” I stumbled over my tongue, trying to string together the right set of words. Why did she make this so hard?
“Whatever.”
How did we get here again? “Come on, you know I like you,” I tried to ease her, but that just seemed to make it worse.
“Do you? But only inside? Where no one can see us? Where no one can see you making out with a human?” she spat out, hissing the word “human” like it was something incredibly vile.
“You are complicating this. I just meant that it was easier if people didn’t see us kissing,” I tried, but Heather’s mood had turned and it wasn’t likely to turn back any time soon. Fuck.
“Whatever. Let’s just walk. I don’t want to talk anymore, okay?” she huffed, cutting off the conversation.
“I. . . Fine,” I agreed reluctantly, aware that every word I said would piss her off even more. And that was the last thing I wanted.
Our shoes crackled on the dry pavement as the rest of my world passed us by in a silent, but persistent rush. I glanced at Heather, but her gaze was fixated on the grey stones underneath our feet. She had no eyes left for me.
As we reached the centre of the city, I became painfully aware of how many people were always wandering about. Was it always this crowded? Did they always look so… bored? Was it normal for them not to pay any attention to what was going on around them? Not even when there was a real human walking in their midst?
But nobody paid any attention to us. The only time someone looked up, was in a checking-her-out-sort-of-manner. And to be honest, that didn’t help my foul mood.
“So, what are we going to do in the city? Stand here? Let people prod and inspect me to see if they can find any anomalies?” Heather asked venomously, not bothering to hide her anger.
I frowned. “No, of course not.”
“That’s what you did in the lab though,” she muttered under her breath, refusing to meet my gaze.
Oh man. The lab. There it was again.
“I thought we got over the lab thing,” I retaliated, knowing I was giving her an opening to start the discussion again. But she was obviously looking for a fight, so I better steer into the skid.
Heather brushed her blonde hair behind her ear. “Maybe you did. You weren’t the one being tortured.”
“Fuck this, I can’t undo it and I apologised excessively for it. What more do you want?” I snapped, hoping my fangs wouldn’t pop out. I was frustrated and annoyed, but that didn’t mean I had to take it out on her.
My outburst stunned her for a moment. “I-I…” she stuttered.
“I mean, I can’t go back in time and change it and by the way, since then, I treated you as an equal and you know it.”
Heather glanced down as she kicked a little rock. “I… Ehm… I.”
“I what? Come on, don’t be shy, spit it out!” I growled, my temper slipping.
“I don’t know, okay?!” she yelled, her voice so hard and desperate I could feel it.
“Oh.”
“I’m just… I don’t know what I’m feeling okay? I get what you are saying, I do, it makes sense. I just… I just don’t like it and I’m annoyed that I don’t like it.”
“Oh. I’m sorry? I guess?”
“You guess?”
I bit my lip. “Don’t start… Please.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry too.”
“Good.”
“I guess,” she added, but I could hear the underlying smirk in her voice, so I just let it slide. We’d had enough arguments and almost fights. I really didn’t want to spark another one. Not if I could enjoy the rare sun breaking through the heavy fog of clouds and wander around with her instead of being stuck in my little flat.
“And to answer your question, no, we are not just going to stand here in the middle of the street. We could visit some shops, sit in the sun, walk around a little.”
She tilted her, as if she was wondering whether it was worth starting another fight. But after a slight pause, she agreed.
“Yeah? Good. Which one do you want to do first?” I asked relieved, happy that we managed to shake off some of the tension.
“I don’t mind, you pick.”
“Shops first, sun later?” I proposed, glancing up in the sky. It didn’t look like the sun would disappear too soon.
“Sounds good.”
“Okay, let’s go. We could try and find you some clothes. Mine are too big for you,” I teased, finally cracking a smile on her face. Heather gave me a light shove as we entered the city centre. We wandered in and out of a couple of shops, trying on the most ridiculous pieces we could find as we invented the characters that would dress up like this. My act with a top hat and a monocle had her falling down to the floor as she screamed in laughter. Apart from the absurd clothing, luckily, we also found some decent things that looked pretty good onHeather.
Both grinning from ear to ear, we left the last shop and sat down on a bench to enjoy the sun. I had to admit, I never had so much fun with, well, anybody.
“You had fun?” I carefully asked, hoping she enjoyed being out with me as much as I did. I almost forgot I was supposed to be keeping a close eye on her. Well, I did. But in a different way.
Heather smiled. “Yes. A lot.”
“Not mad anymore?” I asked softly, taking her hand into mine. We were sat down in a pretty calm part of town. A little hand-holding couldn’t hurt, right?
She glanced at our intertwined hands, a smirk playing around our lips. “No. I get it. I overreacted.”
“It was kind of sweet actually,” I tried, earning myself a little shove.
“No it wasn’t.”
“You’re right, no it wasn’t,” I smirked.
“Jerk.”
I pulled up an eyebrow, hoping I was coming across as cocky and self-assured. “But you love it.”
“Keep dreaming.”
“I will.” Oh, how I did.
“Good.”
The gentle sun was rare and pleasant on my skin. It felt faintly like being hugged by Heather. Warm. A sensation I had come to like more since I met her. I glanced at my human and had to admit, she looked radiant in the sun. Almost like she belonged.
Belonged with me.
I shook the idea out of my head. This was not the time to revisit that. But we could visit something else. “You up for another trip? I want to show you something.”
“Sure. What?”
“I’m not telling just yet.”
“Why not? Is it a secret? Do we have to go far?” Heather pouted, shooting an adorable look my way. As if that would make me spill my surprise. Well… It almost did.
“It’s actually on our way back to my place.”
“Oh nice. So, what is it?”
I flashed her a smirk. “You’ll see, nosy.”
“Ah come on… You know I don’t like secrets!”
“I know. That’s exactly the reason why I’m not telling.”
“Fine,” she huffed, pretending to be insulted, but I could see the excitement sparkle in her eyes. I hid my smile as I guided her towards a place I knew better than the back of my hand. Many more vampires rushed beside us, but nobody seemed too fazed or bothered by Heather. And she was reacting well to this world. She had no problem with the crowds, or with the way our world was organised. Interesting. Definitely worth noting if I ever tried to find out where she was from. Well, more like…When.
* * *
A dark grey, weary looking building appeared in front of our eyes. It was as depressed-looking as far as a building could go. It looked like it had been here for dozens of centuries. In fact, it had been standing there for dozens of centuries.
I held the door open for her, revealing the massive library my family owned. The outside maybe looked desolated and like it was ready to collapse any moment, but the inside was nothing like that. Inside it was lit by a soft, warm light that illuminated the big wooden shelves and tables. The ceiling was incredibly high, so high that it looked like the library ended in outer space. The floors spiralled up, reachable by the thick, sturdy stairs that resembled the roots of a giant tree. Just standing there, you could feel yourself being a part of the universe, surrounded by all the knowledge of our kind.
The shelves were organised in a circular motion, giving the illusion of privacy while still maintaining an open feeling. Inside the circular structure they had built private corners with dimly lit tables and soft, comfortable chairs. Booths were spread throughout the whole library, scattered randomly like leaves of a tree.
It was always quiet in here. I could just sit here for hours, listening to the rustling of the paper pages, the soft coughs, the creaking made by carefully placed footsteps, and the sighs of deep admiration. I loved to look at people carrying enormous stacks of books, people hunched over books bigger than their heads, people softly lipping the words as they read stories that took them to other worlds, people lost in that one dimension we all knew so well. That untouchable, unseeable dimension where you became a part, an invisible spectator, of whichever story you were reading. Where the characters came to life and the world imagined by the writer became so real you could almost touch it.
When you looked at the readers in the library, you could almost imagine how their spirits had left their physical bodies and were all joined together in an ungraspable universe. A universe created by the first writer, a universe that grew with every story, every tale, every narration.
You could enter the building as a young kid and leave as an old man. You could open a book and become so engrossed with a character, you yourself aged. Sometimes, you aged only years. Other times, you aged centuries, and every once in a while, you could age lifetimes.
The library was the visualisation of the past, present, and future merging together to make one beautiful composition of life. Inside the library, time, was just an illusion.
And from the admiration on Heather’s face, I could tell she also understood what this place was. What this meant.
“Oh, this, this is unbelievable!” Heather gasped, her trembling hands gliding over a stack of books. The unmistakable scent of old parchment danced through the air and I happily sighed. Now this, this felt like home.
“Wooah... look at all those books… I. Wow,” she muttered in astonishment, her eyes wide as saucers. Yes, she was definitely impressed. Go me!
“Want to have a better look?” I whispered, afraid to disturb the serenity that never seemed to leave the library.
“Yes. Just give me another sec.”
