My Own Human, page 11
I tried to restrain myself for another moment, but noticed that I’d already leant in and had captured her lips with mine. Oops. Whatever.
But there was something else. An unknown tingling in my stomach that made me long for time to stop, at the same time as it made me want to skip to the future to see what it would hold. A future that would exist out of me and her.
Fuck. I was in big trouble.
* * *
I was hanging on my couch, pondering about what had happened this morning. It wasn’t the first time Heather slept in my bed. It wasn’t the first time I kissed Heather. But it had been the first time that I felt like this.
I knew what it meant. My lust somehow turned into affection. Okay, that was a lie. I had known from the start that it wasn’t just “lust”. She had always been intriguing and fascinating, mesmerising and exciting, captivating and enthralling. Enchanting. Almost spellbinding.
Damn. Affection was an understatement. I was getting romantic feelings for my test subject, for the human.
No. Wrong. I was getting romantic feelings for Heather. In my mind and in my heart, she was no longer a test subject or a human. She was a potential partner. I had always known it somewhere, but now that I cognitively knew it, it changed everything. Now I couldn’t fool myself anymore, pretending it wasn’t true.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. What was Dad going to think? What was the rest of the world going to think?
Oh. Wait. Dad did ask to integrate her in our civilisation. What if I succeeded? Succeeded in hiding her human side from the rest of the world? Made sure no one ever found out? Maybe I could keep her after all. At least, if she wanted to stay.
I glanced at my bedroom, the mere thought of Heather, drew me to her. Maybe she wanted to stay. That was one problem down. Now, what to do about Dad?
He’ll understand. You are his little girl.
Will he? Understand how his little girl fell for a human?
He might. His love for you is stronger than his disgust for her race.
With those thoughts in my mind, I felt myself calm down a bit. Luckily, my brain wasn’t allowing me one moment of peace.
Hey, you did promise that she could leave. How are you going to tell her that you want her to stay with you forever? Oh. What if she doesn’t feel the same? Will you still let her leave like you promised?
Brain, shut the fuck up.
Nah.
She has to feel the same. I mean. Come on.
What? Because she doesn’t pull away when you kiss her?
She has initiated kisses…
When?
Errr… The, uuumm... When… Oh, swimming pool!
She was playing a game.
She kissed me yesterday!
After you made it very clear what you wanted from her…
But if she didn’t want to kiss me, why would she allow it then?
Because she is afraid? Because she has an instinct for survival? Because she doesn’t want to piss you off? Because she…
Yeah, yeah. I get it. Shut up, brain.
Okay. I think you get the picture.
No worries. I do.
The bedroom door creaked open, leaving me with no more time for doubt and self-loathing. Pity. Heather fell down in the couch and nuzzled her head in the crook of my neck. “Why are you sitting here all still and quiet?”
“I’m thinking,” I explained, moving my body so I could drape my arm around her shoulder.
“Good thoughts?”
“Hmm… Not really, no.”
“Want to share?”
“No. Don’t concern your pretty head about it.”
“My pretty head, huh?” Without even having to look, I knew there was a smug grin playing around her mouth.
Wanting to confirm my suspicions, I glanced down at her. She was staring at me, a cheeky grin indeed formed on her lips. Knew it. She pulled up an eyebrow, little lights of joy dancing in her eyes.
“Shut up,” I blushed.
“I didn’t say anything!” she protested innocently, but nothing about her smile was innocent.
“You were thinking it loud enough.”
“Oh, good!” she smirked, tearing her eyes away from mine as she stared at a random spot on my walls.
“You cheeky little…”
“Hehe,” she grinned, still obviously teasing me.
“Good thing I can stand you.”
“You can more than just stand me.”
I narrowed my eyes. What game was she playing now? “Whatever.”
“Whatever,” she mockingly repeated, poking my leg.
“Why are you poking my leg?”
“Because I can,” she answered, like a child.
Unsure if I still liked where this was going, I poked her back. “Stop it.”
“No.” With a twinkle in her eyes, she dug her finger back into my leg.
That cheeky… “Stop it,” I repeated, trying to shoot daggers with my eyes, but she seemed unfazed by it all. In fact, my glaring seemed to amuse her even more.
“Make me.”
Oh now it was on. That was all I needed for a challenge, really. I jumped on top of her, pinned her down in the soft couch. Painfully aware of how soft and warm she was under me, I dug my fingers in her ribs, tickling her until she screamed: “Stop, or I’ll pee my pants.”
“You give in?” Victory!
“I give! I give!” she screamed with laughter, holding her stomach in an attempt to control it.
“Good,” I sighed, suddenly aware I was lying fully on top of her. Perfect. I brought my hand to her face and slowly caressed her cheek, making sure she was looking straight into my eyes. I wanted to kiss her so badly, but my new-found knowledge about my crush made me self conscious. I wanted her. I wanted her so bad… But I couldn’t. Not just like that.
“Can I… Can I kiss you?” I asked, my cheeks blushing up in embarrassment. Oh how I wished that didn’t sound like it came straight out of the mouth of a teenager.
Heather stared at me, confusion clear in her eyes. “Since when do you ask?”
“Since… Well, since now…” What a mature answer,Adrianna.
She tilted her head. “Why?”
Oh damn. Now she was asking why…? Should I tell her? Would it be wise to put all my cards on the table? Maybe I should. What was the harm in that, right?
“Well… Since I realised you might not want to kiss me…”
“Oh,” Heather breathed.
“Oh?” What did “oh” mean?
“Yeah. Oh.”
Well, that was annoying. What did she mean? This was not the time to leave things ambiguous. I should just ask for a straight answer. “So… Do you?”
“Do I?
“Yes?”
Heather tilted her head to the side, her blonde hairs sprawling out on the couch cushion. A little bit lost in her beauty, I just stared at the woman underneath me. “Do Iwhat?”
Huh? Damn, I got distracted by her. “Do you what what?”
“I asked what first.”
Oh no, I totally lost the plot. “What?”
“Huh?”
“I’m confused…” I admitted, mentally hitting myself for losing track of the conversation. Damn Heather and her beautiful eyes!
“You’re confused? I’m confused! You are confusing!”
I felt my lips curl up in a smile. She was confused. I could tell from the little crease on the bridge of her nose. It was always there whenever she got frazzled. And that brought me back to what we were actually discussing.
“I asked if you wanted me to kiss you…”
The crease disappeared. “Oh... Right.”
“So… Do you? Kiss me, I mean.”
“I… Might.”
“You might?” My heart sunk. That wasn’t the resounding yes I had hoped for. Maybe my doubts were valid after all.
“Yes. I might.”
I narrowed my eyes into slits. “That’s not much of an answer.”
“Since when?”
“Since now!” Damn, that came out louder than intended.
Her nostrils flared. “What the…?!”
Fuck. I needed to defuse this situation before it exploded. I just wanted to kiss her, yet somehow, this had turned into a big deal. “Heather, I don’t want to fight. Just answer. Yes or no.”
She let out a long breath. “Yes or no?”
I nodded in response. “Yes, just yes or no. That suffices.”
“Yes.”
Did I hear that right? “Yes?”
“Yes. I want you to kiss me.”
Butterflies I didn’t even know I had, woke up in my stomach. “Oh. Okay,” I muttered, suddenly dumbstruck. Was that a real yes? Did she actually?
“Okay?” Heather caught my eyes, a concerned glint dancing in her irises.
“Good?” I answered, suddenly uncertain what kind of answer she was expecting from me this time around.
“Good?”
A smile bubbled up from my stomach. She was so darn cute. “Stop repeating me, will you?” I teased, brushing a stray lock of hair away from her face.
“I will when you shut up and kiss me,” she grinned, her lips pink and kissable.
“Oh.”
“You’re still talking…”
I couldn’t keep my lips from forming a grin, so while smiling, I kissed my human. “I’m not.”
Chapter 15
Outside
“COME ON, LET’S GO!” I groaned for the third time. I had been waiting impatiently at the door for over ten minutes and Heather was still not ready to go outside.
“Just five more minutes!” she yelled from the bathroom. I frowned my eyebrows, not sure why she was taking so long.
“What are you doing in there?” I yelled back, confused and annoyed as hell.
“Just. Just let me be!”
“Auaoorrghhh,” I huffed, pretending to mimic the growl of a tiny dinosaur. Relax, Adrianna. Give Heather all the time she needs.
To calm myself down, I started to count to ten, but before I reached four, I’d had enough. Not able to contain myself, I stomped to the bathroom to give Heather a piece of my mind.
“Why is this taking so lo… Wow!” I gasped, my sentence left hanging in the air. One look at Heather was enough to turn my brain totally into mush.
She was standing in front of the mirror, applying the last touches of make up. I already thought she was incredibly beautiful, even though she was human and had her own share of imperfections. So to fit in with the vampire population, we had her cover up so she would look… Perfect.
She managed to make her skin look as smooth as mine, covered up her spots, her freckles, her birthmarks, and any other tiny imperfections. Every hair was combed into place, her eyebrows plucked to perfection, her lips soft and pink, while the contact lenses made her eyes hard and purple.
Right before my very eyes, I saw what perfection looked like.
“Do I pass for a vampire?” Heather asked, the insecurity clear in her voice.
Hell yes, she passed. I wrapped my arm around her waist and tugged her towards me. “Oh yes! You look wow. Flawless. Gorgeous. Stunning,” I assured her, not actually finding the words that could describe how insanely good-looking she was.
“Thank you,” she blushed, pressing herself lightly into me. I gently kissed her temple and grabbed her hand. This was definitely worth the wait. She was worth the wait.
“You ready to go?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” she sighed, a soft smile playing on her lips. I leaned in and quickly stole another kiss from her plump lips.
“Don’t worry. It’ll be fine.”
“I hope so.”
“No one will notice. I promise,” I softly squeezed her hand, hoping to convince her she was safe with me.
“You sure? I mean, what if they do?”
“They won’t. And if they do, I’ll protect you.”
“I…” Her voice trembled, her confidence wavering.
I touched her cheek, swiping my thumb over it. “I promise I’ll keep you safe. I know you think vampires are ruthless, dangerous, lethal, but we aren’t. We are just us.”
She chewed her lip, glancing at her beautiful self in the mirror. “Hmm… I’ll take your word for it.”
“Good. Now let’s go,” I grinned, tugging her towards the front door. When the cold wind hit her face, she took in a sharp breath.
“You okay?” Was this a mistake?
“Fuck me, this is high.”
“I’ll fuck you later,” I grinned, trying to make light from the situation. “But on a serious note, it’s not that high.”
“Yes, it is,” she protested, her eyes wide like saucers.
“Not for me. Come here,” I whispered, pulling her closer to me so I could pick her up. Firmly, I pulled her into me, her warmth enthralling me. “If it’s scary, just close your eyes,” I soothed, secretly loving how she was clinging to me.
“I’ll count to three. Three. Two...” I started, breathing in her scent. Gods, she was enchanting. I needed to put some distance between us, or instead of jumping down, I would jump her. So without waiting for the countdown, I let us fall down the ledge. “One,” I grinned at the moment my feet hit the ground. Heather pushed herself out of my arms and hit my shoulder.
“That wasn’t funny!” she snapped, again hitting me.
“It kind of was,” I grinned, rubbing my arm in mock pain. “Come. Let’s walk.”
* * *
Our first steps into the world were cautious ones. We were both anxious that people would immediately pick up that she was human. Afraid they’d smell the difference, even though we had her apply a cream that masked her human scent.
But after a couple of minutes, I slowly started to relax. Nobody was looking weird at us or even paying attention. We blended in smoothly and effortlessly.
“They all look so… So perfect…”Heather muttered suddenly, looking rather intimidated by everyone. I smiled and pulled her closer to me, wrapping my arm around her waist.
“So do you.”
“Yes, because of the make up. I mean, why do you even have that stuff? With or without, you, all of you look perfect” she mumbled, looking around in something halfway between awe and disdain. “Look around... Can’t you see? Everyone is so flawless, so radiant, so… Inhuman.”
I grinned. “Maybe because we are indeed inhuman. And just so you know, with or without make-up, you are at least as beautiful as everyone around you.”
She scoffed loudly, a sound that didn’t really fit her. “I’m not. I have freckles, creases around my eye, imperfections, need I go on?”
I faltered in my step and and stopped so I could turn toward her. “No. You don’t need to go on. Yes, you have freckles,” I spoke, gently kissing the freckles on her cheek. “Yes, you have creases,” I added, softly kissing her eyelids. “Yes, you have imperfections,” I breathed, finally kissing her lips. “I didn’t say you were perfect. You are not. But to me, that makes you even more beautiful. In this world, being perfect isn’t important anymore. Everyone is perfect. But not everyone is beautiful. And you, you are most definitely.”
A reddish hue coloured my human’s cheeks and a smile broke through on her face. “Thank you,” she whispered against my lips, returning the kiss.
“You’re welcome,” I smiled, playing it off like just one of those things, but mentally I was hitting. Why did I tell her that? Why did I basically tell her how I felt about her? Fuck. And this was me pretending I wasn’t in love with her.
No, no, no. no! I wasn’t. I wasn’t in love with her. I was… In like with her?
In like with her? What are you, a toddler?
Shut up. I forced myself to abandon all my crazy thoughts and kissed Heather instead. Her lips were soft, sweet, and gentle. Perfect. Simply, everything it shouldn’t have been.
An unknown voice calling out my name interrupted my moment with Heather.
“Adrianna?!”
Fuck.
Heather froze under me as I broke away from her and reluctantly looked up at whoever was screeching my name.
“Adrianna, it is you! Girl, I haven’t seen you in ages!”
My stomach tightened. “Grace.”
“Hi! Damn, it’s been a while! How are you?” As enthusiastic as always, Grace bobbed up and down as she seemed nothing less but ecstatic to see me.
I glanced at Heather, not sure how to act as an old and a new world collided right in front of my eyes. “I’m well. How are you?”
“I’m doing great! Really great! Fabulous, actually! It’s been so long. Oh, how rude of me, who is your… Ahum. Friend?” she rambled on, coming at me like a freight train. She never knew how to shut up.
I broke her curious stare by stepping slightly in front of Heather. “Oh. This is… Ehhmm… He-Helena.”
“Aha... Hi, I’m Grace, so good to meet you!” she sung, extending her hand towards Heather.
Oh-oh…
Before the two women could touch, I pulled Heather towards me, away from Grace’s touchy hands. “Actually, we have to be somewhere and we are kind of in a hurry, so we can’t stay and chat. Sorry,” I lied, turning on my heels as I tugged Heather behind me.
“Okay, no problem! I’ll call you!” Grace yelled. I glanced backwards and grimaced at her enthusiastic waving. She was too much. I curtly waved back and quickened my pace, forcing myself not to actually run away from her.
“Hey, Ade, slow down, I can’t walk that fast!” Heather protested, tugging on my sleeve.
“Sorry,” I muttered, shame bubbling up for acting so childish.
“What was all that about?” Heather inquired, seeing right through me.
“What?” I asked, pretending I didn’t have a clue what she was on about. Of course, it didn’t work.
“The sudden “we have to go”? I thought it was going well? I mean, aren’t we trying to find out if I blend in or not?”
Damn, she had a good point. “I… Guess…”
She pulled up one eyebrow sarcastically. “You guess?”
