Winter at Christmas Inn, page 12
“Okay,” Holly said. She wasn’t sure exactly what Blossom was trying to get at. And she wasn’t sure she liked the fact that Blossom was inserting herself in Holly’s business.
Blossom nodded. “I’m sorry if I’m being too forward, but I’ve seen the way Stephen looks at you. I want you to realize that if you’re leaving at the end of whatever this is, then you need to stay away from him.”
Tears pricked Holly’s lids. Blossom was right. “I know,” Holly whispered.
Blossom studied her and then furrowed her brow. “Look, the three people that I love most in the world love you. You can’t be all that bad. I just need you to realize that life is short. One minute, you have everything, then the next? Life changes.” She waved toward her legs.
“You can spend so much of your life living in what might have happened instead of enjoying the present.” Blossom’s voice filled with so much emotion that it took Holly aback. She studied Blossom as she reached up to wipe away a tear.
Holly let Blossom’s words sink in around her. There was so much emotion, so much hurt wrapped up in what she’d said, that Holly worried that if she spoke, she would say the wrong thing.
So much of Holly’s life was spent living in the past. Her debt. Her relationship with her grandmother. Even her relationship with Tyler. All of it involved a part of herself that she wished she could change. A part of her that she wished she could go back in time and make different.
She’d reacted horribly to what happened with her grandmother. She knew this now. She wished with all of her being that she could go back and make things right. To fix the relationship she regretted giving up from the moment she did it—even if she hadn’t been ready to admit it at the time.
The realization of what she’d done and all the time she’d wasted settled around her. Regret filled her chest to the point of bursting. She took in some deep breaths, hoping to calm her nerves.
But no matter how much she tried to control her emotions, tears pricked her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. A soft sob escaped her lips as she glanced around the tiny apartment. It proved that so many people in her past were better than she was.
Anger and resentment had clung to her life since the moment she’d walked out on her grandmother. She’d lived her life selfishly. No wonder she was in debt and unhappy. Cutting the people you love out of your life never led to great things.
Glancing over at Blossom, she gave her a sheepish look. “I’m sorry,” she whispered as she swiped at her cheeks.
Blossom shook her head. “We all heal differently. Your journey was different than mine. Trust me, I wasn’t always this zen. I was angry when I woke up unable to walk. I was worried about my ability to take care of Isaac. He was my world, and I failed him.”
Blossom gave Holly a sympathetic smile. “But people have a way of forgiving you even if you’re not ready to ask for it.”
Holly pinched her lips together as the image of her grandmother’s face floated into her mind. Suddenly, all she could think about were the letters that were hidden upstairs in her room. “The letters.”
Blossom nodded. “Yes…and Stephen.” She ran her gaze over Holly and sighed. “He loves you, and he will fight for you until his dying breath, no matter what he says.”
Holly swallowed as emotions rose up inside of her. It hurt to hear that. Not only because it meant what she suspected all along was true. That she didn’t love Tyler—not like she loved Stephen. But it also meant she’d been mean to him. She’d hurt him.
And yet, she still didn’t know what she was going to do about the inn or her debt.
“But don’t you go giving him hope if there isn’t any. Get your own house in order before you drag Stephen into it,” Blossom said as she raised her finger.
Holly nodded and grabbed the door handle. Then, feeling sheepish, she turned to glance over at Blossom. “Are you going to be okay?”
Blossom nodded. “I’ll be fine. I know how to find my way back to the reception desk.”
Holly shot her a smile. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” Then a slow smile spread across her lips. “I’m impressed. Not many people make it through my speeches.” She nodded. “I think you’ll be great for Stephen.”
Hope rose up inside of Holly as she made her way out into the hall. The urge to discover what her grandmother had hidden in those letters caused her to half walk, half run through the hall and up the stairs. At the top of the landing, she paused. She could hear Isaac and Stephen’s laughter coming from the dining room. She’d snuck a peek of them decorating the last tree.
A smile spread across her lips as she made a beeline for her room. Once inside, she shut the door and turned, her gaze falling on the desk.
Sure, it was mostly hidden by the evergreens that dotted her room, but she knew it was there. Hiding behind the pine-scented mammoths was the thing she’d been avoiding since she got here.
Her grandmother.
Taking in a deep breath, she walked over to the desk and pulled open the drawer. Two envelopes stared back at her. Shaking, she reached in and pulled them out.
She clung to them as she turned and made her way over to her bed. Taking in a deep breath, she held them to her chest. She wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was to prepare herself for whatever lay inside.
Was it the truth? More lies?
She swallowed as she located the first envelope. The one that Rex had handed her during his last reading of the will. She set the letter that Stephen had given her down on the mattress and turned her full attention to the envelope resting on her lap.
“It’s just a letter. You can open a letter,” she said out loud, feeling a little silly.
“Just like a bandage,” she whispered as she slid her finger under the flap and began to tear. Just as she reached the end, there was a knock on the door.
She yelped and flung the letter down, whipping her gaze over to the door. Heat crept up her cheeks as she realized how ridiculous she’d just been. What had gotten into her?
The knock came again, so she stood and walked over. She opened the door to find Mrs. Brondy on the other side. She was holding…a letter. She was tapping it against her open hand.
When Holly met her gaze, she held out the letter. “For you,” she said, wiggling it underneath Holly’s nose.
Holly took the envelope. “Thanks,” she said.
Mrs. Brondy nodded. Then she leaned in. “Hope said it was in case of an emergency.” Mrs. Brondy ran her gaze up and down Holly. “I think this qualifies.” Then she dusted off her hands and made a beeline for the stairs.
Completely confused, Holly headed back into her room, shutting the door behind her. She glanced over at the two abandoned letters on the bed and then to the one in her hand.
“Thanks, Grandma,” she said, tipping her eyes toward the ceiling. “Always have to make things complicated.”
Ready to get this over with, Holly walked back over to the bed and finished tearing the first letter open.
Then she took in a deep breath and pulled out a single sheet of paper. It was folded into thirds—neatly creased on both sides.
She hesitated before slowly unfolding the letter.
She glanced down at her grandmother’s perfect penmanship. Each letter flowed with exquisite grace. Tears filled her eyes as feelings, good and bad, rushed through her.
She skimmed the letter, not really reading the words, just getting lost in the familiarity of her grandmother’s writing. She used to watch her grandmother write, whether it was putting together a grocery list or writing down a booking for the inn.
It was like Hope’s penmanship was a part of Holly that she’d forgotten a long time ago. And now that she was faced with it, it felt overwhelming.
She cleared her throat and focused her attention on what the words actually said.
My dearest Holly,
Words cannot describe how sorry I am that you are reading this. If you are, that means I’ve gone, and we haven’t reconciled. I have failed you.
Holly blinked as her eyes filled with tears. She could feel the sorrow in her grandmother’s words, and it matched her own.
Why had she been so selfish? Why had she stayed away for so long? Fighting what she already knew to be true. Christmas Inn would always have a special place in her heart.
I didn’t say everything I wanted to the night you left. There was so much about your mother that would have hurt to utter out loud. I wanted to be all you needed in your life. I know now that I was wrong. I shouldn’t have kept her from you. I should have told you the truth.
Holly found herself nodding along as she read. It was true. Hope should have been open and honest. It hurt that her grandmother had spent Holly’s entire childhood hiding things from her.
Your mother and I have a complex relationship. I put too much pressure on her, and she refused to take responsibility for the things that she did. When she became pregnant with you, I wasn’t sure what to say or do.
I reacted badly. I didn’t want her to miss out on her childhood. I wanted her to give you up for adoption.
Holly swallowed as she read the last words. Adoption. How different would her life be if her mom had actually done that?
I drove her away. She wouldn’t give you up, so I threw her out of the house. She didn’t speak to me for months. You were born, and she never called to tell me. It wasn’t until you were a year old that she came to see me.
She couldn’t take care of you. She left you in the foyer of the inn and disappeared.
I searched for her. I wanted to apologize, to move forward, but she’d vanished.
Holly’s gaze softened as she realized that her grandmother’s writing had become shaky. As if the words were painful for her to write. She could feel the anguish her grandmother felt, and it took her breath away.
I should have never placed you in that situation. I should have always been upfront and honest with you. It’s what you deserved. But I feared how you would look at me if you learned why you were left. That it was my weakness that left you without a mother.
I loved you so much and I’d failed Lauren so much that if I lost you, too, I didn’t think I could make it.
And yet, I lost you anyway.
Can you find it in your heart to forgive me? I don’t want you to live your life like I did mine. Full of regret and anger.
Please understand that the reason I wanted you to return to Christmas Inn was because I knew how much it meant to you. Sometimes, it’s easier to face your past if you have to.
I’m going to end this letter because I’ve just begun to ramble. If you’ve read this far, I’ll take hope that there’s a chance for reconciliation between us. Know I have and always will love you.
Love,
Your Grandmother
Holly stared at the letter as her grandmother’s words sunk in around her. Exhaustion took over and she collapsed back onto the bed. She pulled the piece of paper onto her chest and hugged it.
She allowed regret and pain to wash over her. It was freeing, to allow herself to feel everything she’d been keeping herself from acknowledging.
Her grandmother taking responsibility for what happened helped. But Holly also realized that to err is human. Holly wasn’t perfect, so why was she pretending that her grandmother needed to be?
She’d idolized her grandmother for so long, put unrealistic expectations on her that she could never fulfill. So when the truth came to light, finding out her grandmother wasn’t perfect hurt almost as much as the facts about her mom.
Closing her eyes, Holly took in a deep breath and then let it out again. As she exhaled, all the tension she’d been holding onto for so long was expelled. It was cleansing, letting everything go. Accepting what happened and moving forward.
The only regret she had was that she hadn’t reached out to her grandmother earlier. That she had waited for so long. And had Hope not passed away, forcing her to come to Christmas Inn, she might have never faced the demons that haunted her.
She wasn’t sure how long she lay there, allowing the feeling of peace to come over her. But the memory of a shirtless Stephen handing her an envelope came to her mind.
She sat up, wondering what her grandmother had written. She glanced around, finding the letter and holding it in her hands. She turned it over and slide her finger under the flap.
Excitement rose up inside of her. What did Hope have to say now?
16
Stephen
Stephen stood in the laundry room, staring at the boxes of gifts in front of him. He growled as he unrolled some wrapping paper and then set one of the boxes on top of it. Reaching for the scissors, he opened them, pressed the spot where the blades joined against the edge of the paper and pushed.
The scissors took off, but he must have angled it wrong, because suddenly he wasn’t cutting the paper, he was ripping it.
Exasperated, he threw the scissors down. He gripped the edge of the counter and hung his head, taking in a deep breath.
“Everything okay?” Blossom’s voice asked from behind him.
Stephen tipped his head in her direction. She was half masked by his arm, but he didn’t move. His thoughts were jumbled, and he felt so confused that he didn’t have the energy to do the slightest task.
But Blossom looked expectant, so he sighed and straightened. “Why does gift wrapping have to be so complicated?” He raised the torn part of the paper to emphasize his words.
Blossom laughed as she rolled over to him. “Because you’re not treating it delicately.” She shifted the present over and grabbed the scissors.
Stephen watched as his sister cut the paper perfectly. Blossom looked triumphant as she turned to wave at the paper. “And that’s how it’s done.”
Stephen sighed and rolled his eyes. “I’m not meant to wrap Christmas presents, apparently.”
Blossom chuckled. “And yet, you run Christmas Inn…”
At the mention of the inn, Stephen’s stomach twisted. He didn’t want to think about that. All it led to was thoughts about Holly. And he didn’t want to think about Holly.
He’d managed to avoid her all day. Which wasn’t too hard because she ended up staying in her room for most of it. He busied himself with decorating and spending time with Isaac—but his mind kept wandering back to a place he didn’t want it to go.
Last night and the kiss they shared.
“Oh no. I know that look. What happened?”
Stephen glanced over at his sister and shrugged as he started taping the paper. “I don’t want to talk about it. It’s not a big deal.”
Blossom’s brows went up. “What happened?” she asked again. He could tell she was going to keep asking until Stephen answered.
So he sighed and turned to face her. “I kissed Holly. She didn’t kiss me back. End of story.”
Blossom’s jaw dropped. “You did what?”
Stephen hated how high Blossom’s voice went. As if he’d just announced that he had shaved his eyebrows off. “It’s not a big deal. I’m over it.”
Blossom wheeled herself until she was in front of him. “Stephen, this is a big deal. She has a boyfriend.”
Stephen cleared his throat. Those words felt like a vice around his chest. He blinked a few times, trying to force his body to calm down. There was no need to panic. He’d already come to terms with his mistake, no need to allow his sister to freak him out.
“I know. It was a mistake.”
Blossom held his gaze, as if she were sizing him up. And then she sighed. “What are you going to do about it?”
Stephen sighed and turned to face his sister head on. Even though she was tiny, she didn’t flinch. She folded her arms and stared at him.
“Nothing, okay? It was a mistake, it’s over. We’ve both moved on.” He scrubbed his face and then tipped it toward the ceiling. “She’s selling the inn, and once that is over, we’ll never see each other again.” To emphasize how okay he was with this, he shot her a wink.
Blossom didn’t look impressed. Instead she held her gaze steady for a moment before she blew out her breath and turned her attention back to the present.
“I can see why you’re hiding out here, now.”
Stephen returned to his sloppy taping job while throwing her an annoyed look. “I’m not hiding out. I’m wrapping presents. I don’t want Isaac to see what I got him.”
Blossom jutted a finger at the boxes. “All of these are for Isaac?”
Stephen held his arms out in an attempt to shield the presents from Blossom’s view. “And some are for you.” Then he narrowed his eyes. “But don’t ask what I got you, because I’ll never tell,” he said, emphasizing the last two words.
Blossom stared at him and sighed. “You didn’t have to buy me anything. You already take care of me. The scale between us is tipping more toward you than me.”
Stephen chuckled as he leaned over and planted a kiss on her head. “It’s because I love you more, that’s why.”
Blossom shot him an annoyed look. But just then, Holly’s voice sounded from behind him.
Instantly, his heart picked up speed and his back straightened. His gaze landed on his sister to see that her eyes were wide as her gaze focused on Holly.
“Hey,” Holly said, her voice quiet.
“Hey,” Blossom said as she glanced over at Stephen.
He hoped that his furrowed brow and panicked expression made it clear to his sister that under no circumstances should she leave. But it didn’t seem to register with her—or she was ignoring it.
Instead, she smiled at Holly. “I should go check the desk,” she said as she wheeled past.
“Oh, okay,” Holly said.
“Unless you wanted to talk to me, too?” Blossom said from behind Stephen.
He wanted to look, to see how Holly would react, but he didn’t want to turn around. Instead, he stood there like an idiot, waiting to hear her response.
“Um, actually, I just need to talk to Stephen.”
“I figured. Well, he’s all yours.”
