Vlad the World's Worst Vampire, page 6
“They’d never believe you,” said Vlad, his heart hammering in his chest.
Minxie gave him a look that made it quite clear she wasn’t going to let him get away with this.
“Do something!” Flit hissed, trembling inside Vlad’s cape.
But Vlad knew it was too late for that.
“You’re right, Minxie,” he said, his head drooping. “I’m a real, live vampire. And this –” he pointed to Misery Manor – “is my home.”
“WOW!” said Minxie. “Can I come in?”
“No! If my family finds out I’ve brought a human here, they’ll never let me go outside again. My family hates humans,” he added sadly.
“Why?” Minxie asked. “What have humans ever done to vampires? It should be the other way round. After all, you lot SUCK OUR BLOOD, don’t you?”
“NO!” Vlad said indignantly. “We don’t. We … we get blood delivered nowadays.”
Minxie arched one eyebrow. “Seriously?” she said. “Prove it.” And she started off in the direction of the front door of Misery Manor.
Vlad ran after her. “No, you can’t go inside!”
“Stop her! Stop her!” Flit squeaked.
But it was too late. Minxie had pushed open the heavy oak front door and was walking in.
Vlad and Flit caught up with Minxie in the hallway.
Vlad grabbed her sleeve. “Seriously,” he whispered. “You can’t come in here. Mother will lock you in the Black Tower if she finds you!”
Minxie shook his hand off her and stuck her chin in the air. “I’m not frightened,” she said.
Vlad knew by now that Minxie was the sort of person who always got what she wanted.
“All right,” he said wearily. “But we have to tiptoe. If you wake up my parents you really will be in trouble.”
“Whatever,” Minxie said. Then, looking up and up at the tall vaulted ceiling, she said, “This. Is. So. COOL!”
“Shhh!” pleaded Vlad. “It’s always cold here.”
“No, silly,” said Minxie. “I meant it’s cool as in fantastic, amazing, epic.”
Vlad stared at her blankly.
Minxie curled her lip. “Boy, do I have a lot to teach you.”
Flit squeaked nervously. “Mulch might wake up soon!”
“Come on, let’s go to my room,” said Vlad. “It’s in the East Wing – far away from my parents’ room, so it’ll be safer than hanging around down here.”
Suddenly a spider fell from its web and dangled on the end of a thread in front of Vlad’s face. “ARGH!” he shouted.
But Minxie cupped the spider in her hands. “I LOVE spiders.”
“Shhhh!” Vlad insisted. “You’re making too much noise.”
“You’re the one who shouted,” said Minxie.
Just as she said this, they heard a STOMP, STOMP, STOMP.
“Mulch!” whispered Vlad, his eyes wide in horror.
“What?” said Minxie.
“Quick!” said Vlad. “Hide!”
Vlad pushed Minxie behind one of the suits of armour.
“I’ll distract him,” said Flit. But he was too late. The huge, looming figure of Mulch appeared in the gloom, swatting Flit away. Poor Flit went cartwheeling through the air and landed on top of the chandelier, squeaking miserably as one of his wings was singed by the candles.
“You called, Master Vlad?” said Mulch, his large body casting a shadow over the little vampire.
“Er – n-no,” Vlad stammered. “I was just having one of my … daymares again,” he said. “It’s those stories Father makes me read,” he added. “They give me the horrors! I think I must have been sleepwalking.”
“Sleepwalking outside, Master Vlad?” Mulch said slowly. “That is dangerous. You might get burned by the sun.”
Vlad froze. How did Mulch know he had been outside? Vlad pulled his cape close around him. “Outside?” he said, trying to sound innocent. “Did I really? I’ve only just woken up, you see.”
“I hope you didn’t sleepwalk into any humans, Master Vlad,” Mulch went on.
Vlad gulped. “Humans? No…”
Flit fluttered down from the chandelier and whispered, “Stop talking, Vlad! We need to get away from Mulch, not keep him chattering.”
Mulch lifted his nose to the air and sniffed. “I’m sure I can smell humans, Master. Maybe I should bolt the door during the day. For your own safety,” he added.
The bolts were so high, Vlad would never be able to reach them to let Minxie out! He struggled to keep the panic out of his voice. “No, it’s all right, Mulch,” he said. “Grandpa doesn’t like the door bolted. You know what he’s like… Flit will make sure I don’t do it again. Won’t you, Flit?” he said.
“Too right,” muttered Flit.
“By the way, Master Vlad,” Mulch went on, “here’s your book.” He handed Vlad his copy of Jollywood Academy. “I found it while I was cleaning in your room.”
Vlad’s voice came out in a squeak. “H-how did you know? Mulch, please don’t tell—”
“Who would I tell?” said Mulch. “I don’t think anyone round here would be interested.” He gave a slow, deliberate wink. “I, on the other hand, love a good story. And that –” he said – “is a very good story.”
“You’re a – a legend, Mulch!” said Vlad.
“So I have been told, Master Vlad,” said Mulch, bowing low. “I should warn you though, Master,” he continued, “you are going to have to be very careful if you ever ‘sleepwalk’ again. You know what those humans are like.”
“Yes, Mulch,” Vlad said.
Just then, there was a muffled giggle from behind the suit of armour.
Mulch raised his nose and sniffed the cold, damp air.
“There’s nothing here!” Vlad blurted out.
Mulch shuffled over to the suit of armour. “It is my duty to protect you…”
Flit nipped at Vlad’s cape. “Think B-A-T, Vlad! Quick!”
Vlad didn’t stop to ask why. He put all his efforts into thinking Batwings – Air – Travel and POOF! he turned into a bat just as Flit whisked his cape from him.
Flit dropped the cape on top of Minxie and pulled up the hood to hide her face just before Mulch peered behind the suit of armour.
“Oh,” said Mulch, looking confused. “It’s you, Master Vlad. How did you move so fast?”
“I changed into a bat,” said Minxie, doing a very good impression of Vlad’s voice.
Mulch’s sombre face broke into a wide grin. “Congratulations, Master,” he said. “Your parents will be so pleased.” He gave a deep, throaty chuckle. “You’ll be getting your Bat Licence in no time.”
“Y-yes,” said Minxie.
“Well, I am sure you must be very tired, Master,” Mulch said. “I will leave you to go back to bed. Good day.” He gave a deep bow and headed back to his parlour.
“Good day,” said Minxie.
Vlad waited until Mulch had disappeared in the gloom, then he thought Vampire – Land – Air – Down, and landed with a thud on the floor. He picked himself up, feeling bruised but pleased.
“That was so cool!” Minxie whispered, her eyes wide. “My New Best Friend is an amazing vampire!”
Vlad grinned. “Maybe I’m not as useless as Mother and Father think,” he said.
Minxie giggled. “No. But you definitely have the world’s worst landing technique.”
Flit laughed. “Yes, you’ll have to work on that.”
“I know,” said Vlad. “Now that I have two best friends,” he added, looking at Flit and Minxie, “I reckon I can do anything!”
And he threw back his head and gave a proper vampire laugh: “Mwhahahahaha!”
STRIPES PUBLISHING
An imprint of the Little Tiger Group
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Text copyright © Anna Wilson, 2017
Illustrations copyright © Kathryn Durst, 2017
First published as an ebook by Stripes Publishing in 2017
eISBN: 978-1-84715-872-7
The rights of Anna Wilson and Kathryn Durst to be identified as the author and illustrator of this work respectively has been asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.
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Anna Wilson, Vlad the World's Worst Vampire
