All of a sudden it seemed as though nothing was impossible…

  Minxie passed Vlad some segments of orange and an apple.

  “Erm, do these have garlic in them?” he asked, remembering what his mother had told him about human food.

  “GARLIC?” Minxie roared with laughter. “Don’t you have oranges and apples in Transylva— Wait a minute, why is garlic a problem?” she asked, giving him one of her narrow-eyed looks again.

  “Oh, it’s only – I’m allergic,” he said.

  “You have a lot of allergies,” Minxie said.

  “Yes,” said Vlad, and he whisked his inhaler out of his pocket and waved it in the air. “This is for my dust allergy and I have to stay out of the sun, and I absolutely mustn’t eat garlic,” he said.

  Minxie seemed convinced. “Oh yes. Lots of kids have those,” she said. “OK, I’d better go and tell the dinner ladies about the garlic – you’re supposed to get your parents to write in about allergies, though,” she added. “You’d better bring a note tomorrow. Anyway, wait here! I won’t be long.”

  As Minxie ran back into school, Vlad let out his breath. So far, so good, he thought as he sank his tiny fangs into the mouth-watering apple and closed his eyes. He almost groaned aloud at how delicious it was. This was turning into the best day of his life!

  A voice interrupted his thoughts. “There’s something not right about you.”

  Vlad opened his eyes to see Boz leaning towards him, just a bit too close.

  “There’s your teeth, for a start. You need to go to the dentist to get them fixed, you know,” Boz was saying. “And why are you wearing that black suit?” Boz asked, poking Vlad in the chest. “It’s freaky. You look like a waiter in a posh restaurant,” he said.

  Vlad looked around, gripped with panic. Every time he relaxed, even for a second, it looked as though he was about to be found out! Where was Minxie?

  “I bet your Transylvanian school was full of posh weirdo boys like you,” Boz said.

  Vlad backed away from Boz. Say something, he told himself.

  “Oh yeah, I forgot,” Boz sneered. “You’ve been having lessons with your batty old grandad who reads you stories about mermaids and unicorns.” Boz let out a nasty laugh.

  “Boswell Jones, that is ENOUGH!” said a teacher. He was looming over them and speaking in a booming voice that reminded Vlad of Mulch.

  “Sorry, Mr Bendigo,” said Boz sullenly.

  “I should think so,” said Mr Bendigo. Then in a much kinder voice he looked at Vlad and said, “You must be the new boy. Miss Lemondrop asked me to bring you these.” He handed Vlad a small pile of carefully folded clothes with a pair of old trainers balanced on top.

  “Thank you, Sir,” said Vlad.

  Mr Bendigo looked very pleased. “How polite!” he said. “Now why don’t you go and put on the uniform? The changing rooms are just over there, next to the bike sheds.” He pointed to the far corner of the playground. “As for you, Boswell,” he added, making his voice boom again, “you can go on library duty.”

  Boz shot Vlad a look of fury and stomped away. Vlad let out a long sigh and looked around for Minxie. Why wasn’t she back yet?

  “There you are!” said a familiar voice from above him.

  Vlad looked up and saw Flit perched on the wall!

  “What are you doing?” Vlad whispered. He looked around hastily to see if anyone else had noticed.

  “What are YOU doing, more like!” squeaked the bat. “You need to get out of here. That boy Boz is bad news.”

  “I know. What am I going to do, Flit?” he said.

  “Leave,” said Flit firmly. “Now.”

  “But what will Minxie think? And what about my cape – and my skateboard!” Vlad protested.

  “It’s too dangerous to stay, Vlad!” said the little bat. “Remember how horrible humans can be. What if everyone finds out what you really are? Who knows what will happen to you!”

  “But…” Vlad stopped. Maybe Flit was right. Vlad thought again about the character called Jack in Jollywood Academy – he had made life very nasty indeed for some of the other children. And what if Boz found out he was really a vampire? What would he do then?

  “All right,” Vlad said miserably.

  “Good. I’ll hide in your jacket – there’s no time to go and fetch your cape. We’ll have to stick to the shade,” said Flit.

  Vlad was looking around him wildly. “Flit, how am I going to get out of here without being seen?” he said.

  “I’ll think of something,” said Flit as he dived into Vlad’s sleeve.

  “Hey, that tickles!” Vlad protested. He nearly dropped the uniform he was still clutching.

  “Shhh!” said Flit. “Start moving towards the gate – stick to the shadows and no one will notice.”

  Vlad wasn’t convinced but he did as the little bat suggested, sticking to the wall that ran along the edge of the playground. He hugged the uniform to him and made his way towards the school gate. He had almost reached it when a voice rang out across the playground. “Hey, where are you going?”

  Vlad turned to see Minxie running towards him. “I’ve told them about the garlic allergy, so it’ll be OK at lunch time. Oh good, you’ve got some uniform! Can I have a go on that board thing of yours now? I could get it for you. Pur-leeeese!” she pleaded.

  Vlad didn’t know what to do. How was he going to get away from Minxie? Then he thought of something Boz had said about getting his teeth fixed.

  “I have to go. To … to the den—” What was it called? “The – the dentist!” he said, remembering just in time.

  “Really? Now?” Minxie said. Then she looked at him closely. “Hmm,” she said. “Maybe your teeth are growing a bit too fast. But don’t worry!” she said. “Dentists can do amazing things. My big brother had the wonkiest teeth you’ve ever seen. He got one of those metal things put in his mouth and now his teeth are as straight as lamp posts.”

  Vlad took a few steps towards the gate. “Can you tell the teacher, please? I forgot to say. You can even have a go on my skateboard.”

  “It’s not a skateboard!” Minxie said, laughing.

  “It is!” Vlad said, looking hurt.

  Minxie was biting her lip, trying to stop her laughter. “It’s a bit wobbly-looking. Is it home-made?” she said.

  “Actually,” said Vlad, drawing himself up tall like Drax, “it’s an original Transylvanian model that has been in the family for generations. And it goes faster than the speed of bat.”

  “All right,” she said. “I’ll test it out while you’re at the dentist and see how fast it really is.”

  Vlad breathed a sigh of relief. Minxie was already running off to fetch the skateboard. Now was his chance to escape! No one was watching him – they had all gone back to their games.

  But just as Vlad turned to make a run for the gate, he heard a booming voice say, “Where are you going, young man?”

  Vlad stopped in his tracks. Mr Bendigo was coming over to him.

  “I need to go to the dentist,” Vlad said, shaking in his boots. “I was going to get changed on the way,” he added, holding up the uniform Mr Bendigo had given him earlier.

  The teacher was peering at Vlad’s face. “Hmmm. Have you got a note? And where are your parents?” he asked, looking over the top of Vlad’s head at the entrance to the school. “I should have a word with them.”

  Vlad’s blood ran cold.

  “I’ll divert him!” Flit squeaked, zooming out of Vlad’s sleeve. He flew into Mr Bendigo’s face, flapping his wings.

  “Argh! What’s that?” cried the teacher, swatting at Flit. He spun round and round, his arms flailing.

  “Run, Vlad!” cried Flit.

  Vlad ran, clutching hold of the uniform that Mr Bendigo had given him. He didn’t stop running until he had reached the bottom of the hill. He was so out of breath he had to lean against a wall, wheezing. He pulled his inhaler from his pocket and closed his eyes while he took a couple of puffs.

  “Phew!” squeaked a little voice in his ear. “That’s the fastest I’ve flown in my life.”

  “Thanks for distracting the teacher like that,” Vlad wheezed.

  “That’s all right,” said Flit. “At least you’re safe now.”

  Vlad glanced up at Misery Manor. “Am I?” he said. “I’ve got to face the music back there, haven’t I? And I’m going to be in so much trouble for losing my cape!”

  “Don’t worry – we can think up an excuse,” said Flit. “Come on. We need to get home.”

  “I’m going back to school tomorrow, you know,” Vlad said.

  Flit shot up in to the air, flapping his wings and shrieking, “You must be JOKING!”

  “Listen, Flit. Boz is just a bully and everyone else was really kind – much nicer than my family is. And the food was delicious,” Vlad went on. “And, even more importantly, look –” He held out his hands – “I haven’t been burnt and I’ve been in and out of the sun ever since I ran out of school. You know what I think, Flit?”

  Flit landed on Vlad’s shoulder. “No. But I have a feeling I’m not going to like it.”

  Vlad looked grim. “I don’t think humans are dangerous and I don’t think the sun frazzles us and I even bet I’m allowed to eat garlic.” He turned to look Flit in the eye. “Let’s go back home now so I can get some sleep before breakfast. But…” he added, “I’m going back to school tomorrow. I have a uniform. And a New Best Friend. And school is so much fun. So, you can’t stop me!”

  Vlad was wheezing even more when he reached the top of the hill. He stopped behind a gravestone to use his inhaler and looked up at the manor.

  “I hope everyone will still be asleep,” he whispered anxiously to Flit.

  “I’ll go ahead of you to make sure the coast is clear,” said the bat and off he flew.

  When Flit came back, Vlad crept up to the heavy oak front door. He twisted the big iron handle and pushed very slowly, being careful not to let it creak on its rusty old hinges.

  Flit flew into the dark entrance hall first, then Vlad followed, closing the door softly. He crept quietly up the stairs, along the landing and away from where his family were sleeping. He jumped when he heard Grandpa let out an extra loud snore as he tiptoed past his room! He barely dared to breathe as he sneaked along...

  Finally he reached his room, closed the door, flung the school uniform under his big velvet armchair and flopped into his coffin fully clothed.

  “Aren’t you going to take off your boots?” Flit asked, fluttering around Vlad’s face.

  But Vlad was already fast asleep.

  That afternoon Vlad dreamed of auditioning for the school show. He was on stage, dressed in a colourful outfit, singing songs and telling jokes. The audience loved him. Minxie was clapping and shouting his name. Mr Bendigo was smiling and shouting his name as well. And there was Miss Lemondrop … she was coming up on stage to congratulate him. She put a hand on his shoulder and said…

  “Vlad – Vladimir Impaler! Wake up! What are you doing, sleeping in your boots?”

  Vlad jumped and sat up too quickly. He banged his head against Mortemia’s nose, and she sprang to the other side of the room with a yelp and fell into his armchair.

  “Sorry, Mother,” Vlad said woozily.

  As he came out of his deep sleep, he remembered where he had been during the day.

  Fear gripped him as he spotted the school jumper sticking out from under the armchair his mother was sitting on.

  He tried to catch Flit’s attention but Flit was still hanging upside down, half-asleep.

  “What is THIS?” Mortemia asked.

  “Er … er…” Vlad racked his brains. “It was a present from Auntie Pavlova,” he blurted out. “Father brought it back from his last trip. Didn’t he tell you?”

  “Yes, that’s right,” Flit squeaked sleepily.

  “What?” Mortemia shrieked. “I am going to have a word with your father about these ridiculous presents. When would you ever wear something as bright as THIS? It is most un-vampiric.” She screwed up the jumper into a ball. “Just the sort of thing that idiot Pavlova would choose. I shall have Mulch destroy it immediately.”

  “No!” Vlad cried, leaping up from his coffin.

  Mortemia frowned.

  “I-I mean, let me take it to Mulch,” Vlad said. “You have enough to do, Mother,” he added sweetly. “And you’re right. When would I wear anything so ugly when I have my lovely black suit?”

  Mortemia raised her eyebrows and pursed her blood-red lips. “Very well,” she said. “It just so happens that I am extremely busy,” she said. “Your father was taken ill last night and is still feeling a little strange. He swears he saw you turn into a bat before his very eyes! Mwhahahaha! Personally, I think it is bat-lag from all that long-distance flying. I keep telling him not to go Over There so much.” She tutted. “And I could do without having to come and wake you up, young vampire!” she added, her voice rising to a screech. “You have overslept AGAIN! You’ll have breakfast in your room and Grandpa Gory is going to give you your lessons today.”

  She got up and marched out of the room, muttering, “What did I do to deserve such a son? Blazing blood cells, he’s as batty as his grandfather.”

  “Phew, that was close!” Flit squeaked.

  Vlad nodded, his face even paler than usual.

  A few minutes later, the bedroom door opened again and in tottered Grandpa, looking as though he was still half-asleep.

  “So, my young devil, are you ready for your lessons?” he wheezed. “I’ve brought your breakfast,” he said, waving a glass. “Can’t have a young vampire starting the night on an empty stomach, can we?”

  Then, breaking into a loud fit of coughing, Grandpa Gory dropped into the armchair, sending up clouds of dust that made Vlad cough and splutter, too.

  “Now, where were we…?” Grandpa said, opening a huge leather-bound book.

  But Vlad was lost in thought. It’s all right for Flit. He can fly wherever he wants. And bats don’t need friends. Lucky them. “What’s lucky about being a vampire?” He clapped his hand to his mouth as he realized he had spoken out loud.

  Grandpa Gory’s wrinkly forehead crinkled even more. “What did you say?” he barked.

  Fortunately for Vlad, Grandpa Gory was very deaf, so Vlad raised his voice. “I said, ‘Isn’t it good that we’re vampires?’”

  Grandpa nodded. “Yes, very good,” he said. But Vlad couldn’t help noticing that Grandpa looked a bit sad. “Certainly vampires had a lot of fun in the good old days,” he said, turning his attention to the dusty book of myths and legends.

  Vlad butted in, hoping to divert Grandpa Gory from starting a boring lesson. “Tell me about the time you changed into a bat and went out in the thunderstorm!”

  “Oh, badness me! That was a good night,” said Grandpa, perking up. “Lots of loop-the-loops around lightning bolts.” He drew a pattern in the air with his walking stick and chuckled, shouting, “Wheeeeee!”

  “Sounds fun, Grandpa,” Vlad said.

  “Ah – that reminds me, young Vladimir, how are you getting on with your flying lessons?” Grandpa asked.

  “Not very well,” Vlad mumbled.

  “Well, we can’t have that,” said Grandpa. “How old are you now? Fifty-six?”

  “Nine,” Vlad said, rolling his eyes.

  “Only nine? In that case, you are the perfect age to learn – full of energy. I was turning into a bat and whizzing about the place by the time I was your age!” said Grandpa.

  Vlad groaned.

  “No time like the present, eh, Flit?” Grandpa Gory said.

  Flit squeaked, “Yes, come on, Vlad. Then we can fly ANYWHERE we like.”

  Anywhere… Vlad pondered. “All right,” he said. “But I’m not going out on the roof like we did last time.”

  “No, no, we’ll have a little indoor practice session first,” said Grandpa. “Up you get – up there.” He pointed at the oak wardrobe where Vlad had practised only the night before.

  “All right,” said Vlad with a sigh.

  He had just climbed up to the top when Grandpa said, “Where is your cape? You can’t fly without your cape.”

  Vlad froze. “I-I think I dropped it somewhere,” he said.

  Flit fluttered around nervously. “Could he use yours?” he squeaked.

  Grandpa Gory got up creakily and shrugged off his cape, muttering, “Young vampires today. Don’t look after their possessions.” He passed it up to Vlad. “There you are. Now, look after it! That cape was my father’s, you know. Been in the family for generations.”

  Vlad smiled shakily and took the dusty old cape. He put it on, tied the ribbons around his throat and stood looking down at the floor.

  “Now, you know what to do,” Grandpa called up to him. “Think ‘I am a bat’, open your cape wide and JUMP!”

  As if that will work, Vlad thought. He did as his grandpa told him, however. I am a bat, I am a bat, he repeated to himself, over and over. Then he opened the cape as wide as he could. He stared hard at his coffin, full of soft silks and velvets that he hoped would break his fall.

  Suddenly he realized he wasn’t thinking about being a bat any more – he was only thinking about how much it would hurt if he landed on the hard edge of the coffin.

  “You have to jump while you’re thinking, remember!” Grandpa called up. “I always think of what my Bat Instructor taught me—”

  “I know, I know!” Vlad said wearily. “Batwings, Air, Travel.”

  “That’s right – B-A-T!” Grandpa chuckled. “Good, eh? You can’t go wrong.”

  Not unless you’re completely useless like me, thought Vlad.

  He tried again.

  I am a bat, I am a bat, I am a bat.

  He opened the cape.

  And he jumped!

  But the minute he jumped, he stopped thinking about being a bat and thought about how he really wanted to go back to school to see Minxie and Miss Lemondrop. And then he thought about how he would much rather be in school with them than flying through the air in his dark bedroom in his horrible home with his boring family and—

 

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