Concrete Rose, page 5
I see where this going, and aw hell nah. Mr. Wyatt stay on my back now as my neighbor. I become his employee? Man, I won’t be able to do shit without him watching. “That’s okay, Mr. Wyatt.”
“What? You got something else lined up?”
“Nah – no, sir. I uhhh … I know you can’t pay me a whole lot.”
“I can pay you the same thing them other jobs would,” he says. “What’s the problem?”
“Nothing,” says Dre. “That sound good, don’t it, Mav?”
I swear to God if he don’t shut the hell—
“If you’re worried about childcare, I can help with that,” Mrs. Wyatt offers. “I wouldn’t mind keeping the baby during the day.”
“For a fee,” Mr. Wyatt adds. “Nothing’s free around here.”
“Clarence!” Mrs. Wyatt scolds.
“Well, it ain’t! He’s gotta learn that now.”
“I’m good, Mrs. Wyatt,” I say. “Li’l Man gon’ be back with his momma soon.” I hope.
“All right,” Mr. Wyatt says. “It’s not childcare, and it’s not the pay. What’s the problem?”
“There’s not a problem,” Dre says. “Mav will take it.”
What the— Like hell I will.
Mr. Wyatt fold his arms. “He’s got a mouth, Andre. I wanna hear from him. Maverick, do you want the job?”
Hell no.
On the other hand … I do need something now that Dre made me stop slinging. I can’t leave all them bills plus my son on Ma.
Goddamn. Guess I gotta man up. “Yeah. I’ll take it.”
“Good,” Mr. Wyatt says. “You can start the same day that school starts. Four hours after school, all day on Saturdays, and off on Sundays. Jamal handles things then. Some days you’ll work here in the store. Other days, in my garden. I don’t tolerate foolishness, and I don’t tolerate gang drama.”
Mr. Wyatt know we claim King Lords. It’s pretty normal around here, messed up as that is.
Dre drape his arm around my shoulder. “He won’t bring any foolishness or drama, Mr. Wyatt.”
I shake his traitor ass off. “I’m gon’ go get my stuff,” I mumble.
Mrs. Wyatt offer to watch my son while I shop. I grab a cart and give it a shove down the aisle as hard as I wanna shove Dre. He come up behind me, talking ’bout, “You a’ight?”
“Hell nah,” I hiss, and turn on him. We far enough that the Wyatts won’t hear. “You know what you got me into?”
“Dawg, it’s a job! A job that your ass needs. Long as you do what you supposed to do, you’ll be a’ight. Besides, Mr. Wyatt ain’t that bad.”
“Says who?”
“It could be worse. You could be working for Mr. Lewis.”
True that. Mr. Lewis the barber next door, and that man the definition of pain in the ass.
“You said you wanna help Auntie Faye out,” Dre go on. “This a good way to do it. Men do what they gotta do, and it’s time to man up, remember?”
I hate when this fool right. “Yeah. A’ight.”
He hold his palm out, and I slap it. “C’mon, let’s get these groceries, starting with some toothpaste,” Dre says. “’Cause your breath is kicking!”
I give him a middle finger. He go off down the aisle, cracking up.
I get everything on Ma’s list. It take all the money I have left after buying Lisa’s necklace. I ask Mr. Wyatt for an employee discount. He look at me like I spoke another language. I don’t get a discount.
Dre push the shopping cart toward the door, and I push my son’s stroller. Li’l Man is knocked out after Mrs. Wyatt worked her magic. I almost wanna beg her to put him to bed tonight.
Before Dre can open the door, somebody on the other side do it for him. I freeze.
It’s Tammy, Lisa’s best friend.
Tammy’s momma, Ms. Rosalie, is right behind her. She give us a bright smile. “Hey, Maverick and Dre! How are y’all—”
She notice the stroller and the baby sleeping inside of it, and her eyes get big. Tammy’s eyes already wide.
Dre said it would bite me in the ass if I didn’t tell Lisa. This feel like my ass getting put on the platter.
I clear my throat. “We good, Ms. Rosalie. How y’all doing?”
They exchange looks, and I swear they talking without talking. “We’re fine, baby,” Ms. Rosalie says. “Came to pick up a couple of things.”
Tammy eye me like a damn detective. “Whose baby?”
Aw, shit.
“Uh, we gotta bounce.” Dre come through with the save. “Y’all have a good one.”
“You too,” says Ms. Rosalie.
Tammy make this sound like she sucking something from between her teeth. I ain’t gotta say the baby is mine. She know.
I follow Dre out the door, heart pounding in my ears. I wonder if that’s really a ticking bomb I hear. It ain’t a matter of if Tammy gon’ tell Lisa, it’s when. And when she do…
Shit gon’ blow up.
I gotta talk to Lisa. Now.
CHAPTER 6
Dre agree to drop me off at Lisa’s house. He gon’ drive around with Li’l Man for a bit ’cause car rides apparently help babies sleep. The time it take my son to nap is around the time it’ll take for me to break Lisa’s heart.
We pull up at a peach-colored house with a fence around it. Lisa live in one of the nicest houses on the west side. Her momma keep the yard on point. Step on her grass, she’ll cuss you out. That’s probably why she put the fence up. Let her tell it, she got it to keep “mannish boys” out. She said it while looking at me.
Her car ain’t in the driveway. Carlos’s hooptie is, unfortunately. Don’t matter, I gotta do this. I go up the walkway, onto the porch, and I ring the doorbell.
Carlos answer, and lean against the doorway. He got some height on me and bigger, like he lift weights on the regular. He used to be on the Saint Mary’s wrestling team. That don’t scare me. I’ll take him down if I have to.
He fold his arms. “May I help you?” he asks dryly.
Here we go. “Is Lisa here?”
“Maybe.”
“Can you let her know I’m here?”
“Maybe.”
This dude get on my nerves. “Look, Carlton,” I say, ’cause aside from the height and the muscles, his corny ass is Carlton from The Fresh Prince. “Go get Lisa.”
“Oh, somebody’s got jokes,” he says. “Here’s one for you: kiss my—”
“Car-los!” Lisa whine, and shove him aside. She pull me into the house. “You’re always instigating!”
“Excuse me, where are you taking him?” Carlos asks.
“To my room.”
“Like hell you are.”
Lisa whirl on him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were my father.”
“I’m—”
“Going back to your movie and staying outta my business,” she says. “All right? Mmmkay.”
I smirk at him as she pull me down the hall. Their house smell like potpourri and look like it with all the flowered wallpaper Lisa’s momma got up. Lisa take me to her room and close the door, like she dare Carlos to say something.
I laugh. “He getting on your nerves?”
“That’s always.”
I hold her hips. It’s hard to see them in the FUBU football jersey she got on – it’s too big and covers them li’l shorts she wearing. She stand on her tiptoes and kiss me, and I forget what I’m here to tell her.
Till I start thinking ’bout Tammy. I pull back from Lisa.
Her eyebrows meet. “What’s wrong?”
“Your brother might be listening in. Can’t have him hearing us.”
“You’re probably right.” Lisa lay across her bed. “So, you’re not grounded anymore?”
I move this stuffed Hello Kitty she got and sit beside her. Lisa love that cat. It’s all over her room, along with posters of Usher and Ginuwine, her “boos.” She need to take them shits down, for real. “Yeah. My bad that we couldn’t hang out.”
“It’s okay. Tammy came over and redid my braids. My schedule’s gonna be nuts, and I don’t wanna deal with getting my hair done every week.”
I lie beside her. I know I gotta talk to her, but right now I wanna hear ’bout normal stuff in her normal life. “Why your schedule gon’ be nuts?”
“Besides basketball I have both school paper and the yearbook committee. Momma thinks it’ll look good on my college applications to show that I’m more than an athlete. Going to college means finally getting outta this house, so I am totally on board. Hope I actually get some acceptance letters.”
“Don’t worry. All them schools gon’ love you like I do.” I kiss her cheek.
“You always know what to say.” She trail her fingers along my cornrows. That one little move got me thinking of things we could do if Carlos wasn’t here. I miss what she say.
“Huh?”
“I said you should join some clubs at your school,” Lisa says. “It would look good on your applications.”
“Um … college may not be for me, Lisa.”
“I told you, you don’t need perfect grades for college, Mav. Plenty of people get in with Bs and Cs. I can see you now, joining a fraternity and repping it as hard as you rep King Lords.”
It trips me out how she see this version of me that most people don’t. She can actually imagine me at college. Sometimes it’s hard for me to imagine that. Especially now.
I sit up.
“What’s wrong?” Lisa asks.
I’m imagining a life for her. She gon’ be one of the most popular girls on her college campus and gon’ go to all the parties. Somehow she’ll keep her grades in check as she work toward becoming a pediatrician. Some college boy will scoop her up. She’ll marry him and live in a big-ass mansion with a couple of kids. I’ll be a memory from when she was a kid.
She sit up. “Maverick, for real, what’s wrong?”
I need a little more time with her. I kiss her neck and make my way to her lips.
She pull away. “Maverick.”
I get up and fold my hands on top of my head. Shit, I gotta tell her. “I want you to remember that I love you, a’ight? When I did what I did, I wasn’t thinking that way.”
“O–kay,” Lisa says slowly. “What did you do?”
“Remember when me and you broke up after Carlos thought he saw me with a girl?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, I was stressed out. I went over to King’s crib to clear my head, and … he hooked me up with Iesha one time.”
“Hooked you…?” Her eyes get big. “You had sex with her?”
“Lisa—” I try to take her hand. She move to the other side of the room. “It was only one time. Me and you weren’t together.”
“We only broke up for two weeks! What the hell, Maverick?”
“I know, I know. I’m sorry, a’ight? I haven’t messed with her or anybody else since.”
Lisa hug herself real tight. When she do that, it’s like she tryna keep the world away. “Why are you telling me this now?”
Her voice so soft it hurt.
I gotta do this. “Iesha had a baby three months ago.”
“You gotta be kidding me.”
“We … we got a DNA test done—”
“Oh my God.” She holds her forehead. “Oh my freaking God—”
“He mine.”
“Oh my God.” Lisa sink to the floor. She look up at me. “You have a baby?”
Man up, I tell myself. “Yeah. I got a son.”
“You lied to me,” she says.
“I didn’t lie—”
“Yes, you did! For weeks, I’ve asked you what’s wrong! You said nothing. You went and got a freaking DNA test done on a baby, and that’s nothing?”
“I didn’t wanna stress you out! I thought he was King’s baby.”
“Oh my God. This explains sooooo much. Whenever I run into Iesha and her friends, they laugh at me. Tammy told me I was imagining it. I was right, wasn’t I? They were laughing ’cause you played me!”
“I didn’t play you!”
“Everybody knew that you slept with another girl except for me!”
“Everybody didn’t know,” I say.
“Iesha knew! Her friends knew! King knew! I bet Dre knew, didn’t he?”
I can’t respond, ’cause they did.
“You know what?” Lisa murmurs. “Maybe my mom and my brother are right about you.”
“What?”
Lisa look me dead in the eye. Hers are filled with tears. “Get out.”
“Lisa—”
“Get out!” she yells.
The door fly open, and Carlos rush in. “She said leave!”
“Man, mind your goddamn business!”
“She is my business!”
“Carlos, stop,” Lisa says softly. “He’s not worth it.”
It hit like a gunshot. That’s the worst thing she ever said ’bout me.
Carlos eye me, and he smirk. He finally got what he wanted.
“You heard her,” he says. “Go.”
Lisa wipe tears from her cheeks. I wish I could wipe them away myself. More than that, I wish I could kick my own ass for making her cry.
Instead, I do what she asked. I leave.
CHAPTER 7
Two days go by, and Lisa won’t talk to me.
Three days.
A week.
Two whole weeks, and I don’t exist to her.
This time different. Usually when Lisa mad, she hang up when I call. Nah, she done blocked my number. I went over one day, hoping she had cooled off. Her momma’s car was gone and so was Carlos’s. I heard the TV inside, and I know I caught a glimpse of Lisa in the window. No matter how many times I rang the doorbell she never answered.
This shit hurt, man. I’m talking listen-to-sad-R&B-songs-all-day kinda hurt. I done had my Boyz II Men CD on steady rotation. Lisa was my best friend. The one person who could always make me smile and who I wanted to make smile. Call me soft, I don’t care. The thought of not having her in my life almost too much to handle.
Ma claim I walk around looking like a sad puppy. I can tell she feel bad for me. All she say is, “You made your bed, now you gotta lie in it.”
If this a bed, it’s made outta rocks – everything hard. Iesha ain’t come and got our son yet. I talked to her twice, and both times she asked me to keep him a little longer. Never said how “long” that is.
In the meantime, Li’l Man got me beyond tired. He ain’t cheap neither. I have to buy diapers, wipes, and formula all the time, and my money looking real funny now that I’m out the game. Ma asked the light company for an extension so we could afford a changing table. She talking ’bout working on weekends at the hotel to keep things from being so tight. Dre also a big help. Some days he’ll come watch my son for like an hour so I can nap, and he buy clothes for him that I can’t afford.
I really hope this job with Mr. Wyatt help. Today gon’ be my first day of school and my first day of work. While I ain’t really looking forward to work, I ain’t been this excited for school since my elementary days. I’m finally getting out this house. On top of that, I get to be with my boys. I ain’t seen none of them these past two weeks. They probably busy, I’m not tripping. Not like I got time to hang out. I’ll only be with Rico and Junie today though. King got expelled from Garden High last year.
I should be resting up for my long day, but around two a.m. Li’l Man wake up, screaming his head off.
It scare the shit outta me. I check his diaper first, and it’s clean. He can’t be hungry, I fed him a little while ago. I run outta ideas real quick, so I take him to Ma’s room.
I’m surprised he didn’t wake her up. Then again, I think Ma could sleep through a bomb. Her bonnet stick out from under all of her blankets. She keep the air on high in the summer only to sleep under a bunch of covers.
I shake her shoulder. “Ma, wake up.”
“What, Maverick?” she mumbles.
“Li’l Man won’t stop crying.”
Ma pull back the covers and squint at us. My son cry and gnaw on his hand. Drool and tears run down his face.
“He’s teething,” she says.
“How you know?”
“Trust me, I know.” She touch his forehead. “He doesn’t have a fever. His gums are probably bothering him. Get him one of those teething rings I bought. He’ll calm down.”
“What if he don’t? I got school in the morning, Ma. I’m tryna sleep.”
The look she give me … man, she cuss me out with her eyes. “You should’ve thought of that before you had sex with that girl.” She turn her back to us.
“Ma—”
“Take care of your son, Maverick.”
Fine, then. I take him to my room and grab the teething ring.
“C’mon, man,” I mutter as I put it to his mouth. “Gnaw on it, okay? It’ll help you feel better.”
He cry around it. I sit on my bed and rock him. I talk in them hushed tones like Ma do and tell him it’s okay. Minutes and minutes and minutes pass, and that li’l brown face scrunched up with tears all over it, and that tiny mouth won’t stop wailing.
“Please, man?” My voice crack. I only wanna sleep. “I’m tired. Please, calm down.”
He cry louder.
“What’s wrong with you?” I cry. “Just take the teething ring!”
I shouldn’t snap, but I don’t know.
I don’t know.
I don’t know.
I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.
I can’t make him stop crying.
I can’t sleep.
I can’t do this.
I set him in his crib as he scream at the top of his li’l lungs, and I walk out the room.
To the hallway.
Then the living room.
And out the front door.
I stop at the porch. It’s so quiet and calm outside, unlike in my room. I sit on the steps, and I bury my face in my hands.
What the hell is wrong with me? I can’t get a teeny little baby to stop crying. Then I left him in there by himself when he need me the most.
He need so damn much. I don’t wanna be needed no more.
I’m tired. I wanna sleep. And now I’m sobbing like a baby as if I ain’t got a baby sobbing for me.
