And for a Tarosophy “engage life” version: Take the Majors, go to your partner or do it for yourself. Each take a card. Look at each other. Read what it says from the list above.[ii]

  Here’s a simple keyword and phrase list for the Major Arcana in relationship readings, both for good and bad. Their reading will depend on the question and their position in a spread, as well as the cards around them. These key-words are not the single meaning of a card – not everyone getting the Empress is pregnant! In that case, for example, it could be a “pregnant pause” in a relationship, or the potential for growth and nurturing with a colleague, etc.

  The Fool: Freedom, no constraints, open relationship

  The Magician: Skill, control, manipulation

  High Priestess: Intuition, hidden agenda

  The Empress: Growth, pregnancy, let nature take its course

  The Emperor: Power, dominance, energy, action

  The Hierophant: Authority, marriage, professional help

  The Lovers: Love and Romance, choice

  The Chariot: Direction, letting the moment take you

  Strength: Harmony, meeting of like minds, struggle (sometimes)

  The Hermit: Being by yourself, being your own person

  The Wheel: If it’s up, it’ll go down, if down, it’ll go up

  Justice: Everything will balance out, find what is right for all

  The Hanged Man: Suspension, upside-down way of seeing things

  Death: Transformation, friends becoming something else, etc.

  Temperance: Mix and match, bring differences together

  The Devil: Attachment, habit, lust, greed, ignorance

  The Blasted Tower: Sudden change clearing the air

  The Star: Setting your vision out, light at end of tunnel

  The Moon: An uncertain path to walk for a while

  The Sun: Growth, expansion, good fortune, innocence

  The Last Judgment: A calling, the right time, rebirth, new life

  The World: The end and the beginning of something new

  Now let’s take a look at those spreads – one for every stage of relationships. I suggest you take a look through all of them before deciding the right one for any relationship situation. Sometimes you may wish to do two spreads here, for two aspects of a relationship.

  If you find yourself thinking you need to do more, I’d really advise tweaking your question and making it more specific. Deal with the most important or urgent thing first – that can often unlock the rest.

  INSIDER’S TIP: Although these spreads are used by myself mainly for personal relationships (and for clients) they can all be used for any relationship – a relationship to a house, a project, a place, a job. You might find these methods also can be used for many other spreads, with a bit of imagination – don’t ever be afraid to experiment to get the right method for the job!

  Relationship Spreads

  1. RE-IGNITE MY FIRE

  A juicy spread showing you how to fan the flames of your passion!

  “Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames.” ~ Rumi

  This spread will help you gain insight on what you need to do to light your fire again. It will show you which areas of your life need attention in order to fan the flames.

  This is a very special spread because it has different stages of drawing cards which are timed before and after you complete a challenge. This is called a “gated spread.” It’s as if you have to pass through different gates through time and layers of depth in your reading.

  This makes it extra powerful. In magic and manifestation, the secret key to really making things happen is to take action in the physical plane. Many of us simply visualize, feel, and speak the nature of our desires. That is a good strategy. Definitely do those things, and if you want to really potentiate your manifestations, show the universe that you are serious by taking action!

  Part 1:

  Take your deck and shuffle. Lay out one card in the centre of the table. As you lay it down, say “This is what I need to do to re-light my fire.”

  Now lay out three cards below the first, saying, “These are the embers of my fire. They need attention and nurturing to rekindle my flame.”

  The spread...

  Illus. Re-Ignite My Fire

  Now you must meditate on the previous cards and come up with a plan of action for what to do in your life to re-light your fire.

  Part 2:

  Enact your plan of action. Go forth in your life, heat up your embers and re-light your flame as best you can. (This can be immediate action, as in the same day, or it may take a few days or weeks. Go at your own pace, but keep the energy alive.)

  Part 3:

  Come back to the reading. Consider how you have taken action in your life. Focus on the insights you have gained while taking action. Now draw an additional card and place it above and to the left of card 1. While you lay it down, say, “This is what I need to avoid in order to protect my precious flame.” Draw one more card, placing it above and to the right of card 1. As you lay it down, say, “This is what I need to encourage in my life to keep my fire blazing.”

  For example: If for card 5 you drew the Nine of Swords, you would need to avoid worrying and let go of your grief and sorrow. If for card 6 you drew Strength, it would mean you should encourage your strength, feel your fear and go forward in love anyways!

  Part 4:

  Now go and act on cards 5&6. See what happens in your life when you avoid card 5 and encourage card 6.

  Part 5:

  Come back to the reading. Meditate on your take-away lessons from your last actions in your life. You may decide to draw additional cards to place above the last two for more insight and action. You can keep on drawing 2 more cards, acting on them, and meditating on the lessons. Draw, act, meditate. Draw, act, meditate. Keep doing this until your flame is fully ablaze!

  That’s it. I hope you benefit from this spread, creating some yummy, fiery passion in your life!

  2. CUPID’S ARROW

  A fun reading pointing you in the right direction to your love!

  Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind;

  And therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind:

  Nor hath Love's mind of any judgment taste;

  Wings and no eyes figure unheedy haste:

  And therefore is Love said to be a child,

  Because in choice he is so oft beguiled.

  ~ William Shakespeare

  We all have times in our lives when we are at a loss on where to look for love in our lives. Of course, your true soul mate is your own soul. Sometimes when I do a reading for finding love, the reading points back to the querent.

  That being said, there are things we can do and directions we can turn to create the conditions for love to flourish in our lives. Do this reading when you’re feeling the need for inspiration in this arena. Just be careful, Cupid’s arrow flies fast and blindly, like Shakespeare said. Try your best to keep your eyes open while flying fast on love’s arrow!

  The spread…

  Illus. Cupid’s Arrow

  This is a split-deck method so first you will need to separate the Court Cards, Major Arcana and Minor Arcana into three stacks.

  Card 1 - Shuffle the Major Arcana stack. Lay out a card on your table. This card shows you how you start, or activate, your journey towards love. Imagine you are in the center of a sacred circle. You are in the middle of the compass. The first card magnetizes you toward the direction you need to go to find your love.

  Card 2 - Shuffle the Minor Arcana. Draw one and lay it below/right from card 2. This card tells you where to go to find your love. This might be an actual place shown on that particular card or it may be more metaphoric, relating to the cards meaning.

  Card 3 - Shuffle the Court Cards. Draw one and lay it below/right from card 2. This card shows you who you need to be to attract your beloved. Take note of the characteristics of the court card.

  For example: If you drew the Page of Cups, you might want to take time to meditate and be introspective for a while to get centered in yourself. Be innocent like a child in wonder and have an open mind and heart. Love may surprise you and come in a mysterious way, so stay open, positive, and intuitive!

  Cards 4, 5 & 6 – Take your Minor Arcana cards and lay out 3 cards in a line. This would be the base of the triangle that attaches to the line of the arrow at card 3. All these cards are advice cards. They represent wise advice on finding your loved one.

  Card 7 – With the Minor Arcana again, draw 1 last card. Place it below/left from cards 4, 5 & 6. This is your outcome card. Follow the advice from cards 4, 5 & 6 and this will be your outcome.

  Now let those arrows fly!

  3. BLIND DATE

  A revealing spread for when you want to know what's really up with someone you've just met.

  “Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.”

  ~ Internet Meme, Unknown Author

  What an awesome story. It would be so amazing to say, “I went on this blind date and the moment they walked in, I knew they were the one.” Well, bless you if that happens to you, and if not, here’s some good advice to know just who it is you’re meeting.

  People always put their best face on for first dates and probably even more so for blind dates. The anticipation of not knowing what to expect makes us do everything we can to impress. This spread will show you who the person really is, behind the mask. You could also do this spread for anybody you’re trying to understand better, it’s universally useful.

  The spread…

  Illus. Blind Date

  Cards 1, 2 & 3 – Shuffle your deck and lay out three cards in a row, left to right. These cards show you what’s going on behind this person’s presentation. What they are covering up putting their best face forward.

  For example: Say you got the Devil, the Seven of Swords, and the Six of Cups. I’d say RUN! This person is dealing with addiction, is deceitful, and is co-dependent and stuck in the past. (the Devil, Seven of Swords and Six of Cups, respectively.)

  Cards 4, 5, & 6 – Lay out three more cards below the top three cards. These show what the person is presenting, their persona, or mask. These cards are the anchor of the reading. All other cards point to and hinge on what is presented here.

  Cards 7, 8 & 9 – Lay out three more cards below the middle three. These show how best for you to react. How can you reflect back to this person what is being shown and what is hidden?

  I hope this helps. Remember, your intuition is your most powerful ally when meeting new people. Check in with your gut and your heart. Do you feel excited, or drained around them? Do you feel giddy with butterflies, or queasy with anxiety? Then, if you need further insight, do this reading when you get home from your date.

  4. SILVER LINING

  A helpful spread for when you want to find the positive aspects of a relationship that seems negative.

  “Too many people miss the silver lining because they’re expecting gold.”

  ~ Arthur Yorinks

  The above quote is really true. It’s necessary to keep your mind and heart open to see clearly the silver lining in a relationship. If you’re focused on the negative or conversely, expecting absolute perfection, you’ll have a hard time finding the silver lining. This is the sweet spot.

  Do this spread to highlight and differentiate the negative and positive aspects of a relationship. It will show you what to focus on in order to manifest more of the positive. Remember, What you resist, persists, so focus on the silver lining!

  The spread…

  Illus. Silver Lining

  Choose a significator Court card from your deck that represents your romantic state, as outlined in the Court of Love section earlier in this book. Place that significator, in the middle of your reading surface.

  Next, lay out 4 cards around the significator card. The first will be on top, second to the right, third below, and fourth to the left. These cards are the negative aspects of your relationship or mate. If any of these cards are positive, reverse them so they are upside down.

  For example: Let’s say one of the cards you pulled for the negative aspects of the relationship was The Star, a traditionally very positive card. You would then turn the card upside down. It would mean that you and/or your partner have lost hope in your relationship. There is darkness and lack of inspiration mucking up the waters of your love. Healing is needed.

  Then, take four more cards and lay them out in the diagonal positions in an outer square around the significator and negative cards. Start in the top left corner with card 5 and go around the square clockwise with cards six, seven and eight. If any of the cards are negative, reverse them so they are upside down. These cards are your silver lining!

  Go forth and appreciate the silver lining of your relationship. If you weren’t satisfied with the results, i.e. you’re not thrilled about your silver lining or the negatives over powered it; you may want to do some soul-searching about your relationship. Look over the spreads here and try some different ones for additional insight – you may like to add the bonus method for arguments if you lack clarity.

  Thanks, and to your bright and shiny silver lining!

  5. BOUNDARIES

  A powerful spread to help you learn how to set proper boundaries for a healthy relationship.

  “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”

  ~ Brene Brown

  “Boundaries are to protect life, not to limit pleasures.”

  ~ Edwin Louis Cole

  This topic is so deep that I couldn’t help including two quotes! Many of us in this modern world have issues with boundaries. Our culture doesn’t do a very good job in teaching about healthy boundaries. Movies and modern music really show a skewed view of boundaries in relationships, often showcasing unhealthy, co-dependent couples.

  In order for a relationship to have a strong foundation, there needs to be appropriate boundaries. We can have a lack of boundaries, letting ourselves merge into the other person’s life, while letting go of important parts of ourselves. We can also go overboard with boundaries, where we hold onto our beliefs and lifestyles with rigid tenacity, blocking the ability to connect deeply with our beloved.

  You can look at our own cells as a beautiful example of boundaries. Each cell has a membrane that surrounds its precious contents. It’s important that the membrane be strong enough to contain the contents of the cell and protect it from bad invaders. It is equally important for the membrane to be permeable so that nutrients can go in and wastes can go out. What do you need to bring in, release, and protect in your life?

  Use this spread to help clarify how to manage your own boundaries in an appropriate way.

  The spread…

  Illus. Boundaries

  First, you will need to choose two Significators, one for you and one for the person you’re in relationship with. Choose a court card for each of you that represents your romantic states, as outlined in the Court of Love section earlier in this book. Place the significator for you on the left, and the significator for the other person to the right.

  Shuffle your deck. Pull one card and lay it out to in between the “you” and “other” significator, but give some space between each of the other cards. This first card is what you need to keep open in your boundaries and relationship. This will allow things that feed your relationship and things that need to be released to flow in and out properly.

  For example: Say you pulled the 3 of Cups. This would say you need to keep close connections with friends and community. Remember to celebrate and spend time with friends and family. They will help keep you sane and nourished in ways that your relationship can’t.

  Now, take cards two and three and place above and below card one. These cards are what you need to close off. This is what you need to seal up in your container to create a safe foundation for you both.

  Next, to the left of the “you” significator, place card four. This is what you need to protect in yourself. Notice it’s the only card placed on the left side of you away from your partner/other person in the relationship.

  Lastly, draw one more card and lay it to the immediate right of the “you” significator, in between “you” and “what to keep open.” This shows how you can protect that which you are protecting from card four.

  For example: Let’s say you pulled the Eight of Wands for card four and The Chariot for card five. That would mean you need to protect your energy. Things are moving fast and that can be good, but use the Chariot to control the pace. Make sure your steeds stay in alignment so that energy is put towards the proper and most nurturing direction.

  Boundaries are a deep subject. I hope this spread gives you lots of insight and healing!

  6. THE 7 YEAR ITCH

  A handy spread to help move past boredom or little issues that come up over the years that can sour a relationship.

  “Dr. Brubaker: When something itches, my dear sir, the natural tendency is to scratch.

  Richard Sherman: Last night I scratched.”

  ~ From the movie, The Seven Year Itch

  The Seven Year Itch is a classic movie starring Marilyn Monroe. It’s about a married man who gets a week off from his family while they are traveling. He decides he’s going to act like a bachelor and eat whatever he wants and be wild. He develops a flirty friendship with his sexy upstairs neighbor, played by Marilyn Monroe.

 

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