10 of Pentacles: This can be the card of retirement in that you have built up security emotional and material over the years, it is time for you to stop working too hard and spend time with those close to you. This will give your relationship a good boost.

  Page of Pentacles: To have a better relationship with the Page of Pentacles, keep it simple and uncomplicated, the young page energy does not like being tied down too much, and the Pentacles energy likes it all wrapped up, sorted and organized, steer well away from upsetting their order!

  Knight of Pentacles: The Knight wants you to get on with what is in front of you, drop the long-term goals and settle for what is right here and right now. Get on with it, no matter how boring and mundane it may feel.

  Queen of Pentacles: The Queen likes to be in control of her finances, and looks for a partner who has a good sense of values, if you decide to treat her, make sure that it is something that is useful and functional, she is not into the sentimental more the practical.

  King of Pentacles: Okay let me keep this simple, to impress the King of Pentacles in a relationship, just let them think they are in charge and in control, even if it is you doing it all in the background. The King energy like to rule and the Pentacles is all about security. If the King of Pentacles in your life feels that he is in charge of his life, all is well.

  The Cups – Emotional Makeover

  Ace of Cups: Express your love freely - do not hold anything back, try not to not hold onto past grievances.

  2 of Cups: Just spend time together doing something you both like doing! Maybe it is time to renew those wedding vows.

  3 of Cups: It may be that you and your partner are spending too much time together, perhaps now it is good time to rekindle old friendships that you have put aside. Throw a big party!

  4 of Cups: You have got to start being the one who makes the decisions in the relationship. It may be that you have held back, in fear of your other half not being happy with choice. Hold back no longer, just do it.

  5 of Cups: Get out of the habit of feeling sorry for yourself, too much focus on your own needs and state can be damaging to a healthy relationship with your other half. Mistakes may have been made in this past that you insist on revisiting, try to avoid this pattern of behavior.

  6 of Cups: Time to look back on what made your relationship special and bring into your relationship now.

  7 of Cups: Stop being fanciful in your relationship, look at where it is not working, take this, take action and transform it into something solid.

  8 of Cups: You need to spend time away from your relationship. Sometimes in life a break is better than a rest, if not physically, be more introspective and look within to re discover what matters in this relationship.

  9 of Cups: Stop being so self-satisfied, this can be a real turn off in a relationship. You need to drop the act, before the person in your life see through it and drops you.

  10 of Cups: This is the card of commitment this card, is advising you that the time is right to settle down into domestic bliss. Time to take your relationship to a whole new level.

  Page of Cups: Try to be a bit more imaginative in your relationship, it could be that your relationship has settled into an over contented state, this is all very well on one level, but this could mean that those gestures of romance that used to be such an important part of your relationship have disappeared from your life. Be more spontaneous and romantic!

  Knight of Cups: You need to recreate your original vision, your original quest for romance. What is it you truly seek? Remind yourself of what you yearn for.

  Queen of Cups: Be more intuitive about the needs have your partner, be more sensitive and sentimental. See it from their point of view.

  King of Cups: Dip your toe into that feeling that is just at the surface – there may be deeper tides you are ignoring. That feeling will not go away, it is there to remind you, to advise you. Let it in.

  The Swords – Mental Makeover

  Ace of Swords: Make a decision, any decision but stick to it!

  2 of Swords: Hold back with your opinions, now is not the time to fire from the hip!

  3 of Swords: Confer with a third party, it helps to have a separate opinion on relationship dilemmas.

  4 of Swords: Withdraw and take time to be more introspective in order to find the true meaning of your relationship.

  5 of Swords: Time to turn your back on negative forces and thoughts that you no longer need in your relationship, it is holding you back.

  6 of Swords: Make changes and move on, you may have to leave others behind to start afresh. A breath of fresh air within a relationship.

  7 of Swords: Bring together all your life experiences so far to make changes in the relationship. Be aware however that not all those people in your life will appreciate the changes.

  8 of Swords: Cut the ties that bind you. Do not let yourself be bullied in a relationship; you need to walk away from situations that dis-empower you.

  9 of Swords: Sit up and face the fears that trouble you in a relationship. However, do not act immediately, you may have to go to bed and sleep on it, the dream state is our minds opportunity to take charge. The morning may you offer you a solution.

  10 of Swords: The end is nigh, perhaps now is the time to call it a day in a relationship, or to end a pattern of behavior in a relationship that is just not working.

  Page of Swords: The relationship may be still in its early stages. Take time to figure out where you want to go with it in the future.

  Knight of Swords: You may find yourself in a relationship that tests you and it turns your life upside down.

  Queen of Swords: Give your counsel within a relationship, speak out. Do not show weakness as it will undermine your power within a relationship.

  King of Swords: Be in charge, stop taking no for an answer, if there is something you want out of your relationship let those significant others in your life know. You own the frame, the picture and the wall, so get your message out loud and clear!

  Having looked at giving our relationship a makeover in these four worlds, or using it to get a bearing on where our relationship is situated, I’ll now look at some of the specific maker or breaker cards in readings. We’ll then look briefly at the Major cards and introduce the ten relationship spreads making up the majority of the book. I hope you find them very useful and insightful!

  Breakers and Makers

  Relationships and Romance do not exist in a bubble, even if we feel like we are floating in one – or sometimes popping one. There are lots of aspects of a relationship that can make or break it. I have selected out twelve of the most important ones and the cards that relate to them – so you can see when they are showing in a reading.

  So, if you did a reading with one of the spreads to follow, and had a lot of Pentacle cards, a Knight of Pentacles, and several NINE cards, you could tell from the previous lists that it was a reading which shouted out “renew your commitments”, and do it practically.

  The Knight would also tell us to sort our mutual spending out – all boring and mundane, but sometimes very important in a relationship! You could then check in the makers and breakers list following to see if any cards were shown that were deal-breakers.

  In teaching this way – through lists and groupings, I hope my experience is helpful in giving you a more powerful and deeper way of doing readings. It is too easy sometimes to try and learn card-by-card, but when we understand groups and combinations – and patterns – we can see far more in a reading. My previous book True Tarot Card Meanings, takes it card-by-card and can be a useful reference.

  So here are the make-or-break cards to look out for!

  1. Friends and Family

  As they say “As happy as one big family”. That is until somebody else comes into the relationship fold, be it the best friends for ever that suddenly become three. When your best friend gets into a relationship with somebody you cannot stand it can be hard to not show that you do not like them. Rivalry and jealously knows no boundaries in intimacy.

  Let the Court Cards of the Tarot help you out, and show you how to keep everyone in your life as happy as possible without losing your sanity or popularity.

  The Court cards represent energies as well as people, so if you have a lot of Court Cards in a relationship reading, it means that you may need to find some balance between them.

  INSIDER’S TIP: Deciding on taking action or letting it go by the Court Cards - Look at the opposite Court Cards to the ones in the spread to work out the energy – and the action - required to balance a situation. So, if you had a lot of Queens, you may need some King energy (take control) or if you had a lot of Knights, you may need some Pages (giving assistance) to steady them! Just ask yourself, if this was a fairy-tale, with these Court Cards as characters, what would be the solution to the story?

  2. Paranoia

  Paranoia is one of the toxic polluters of a relationship. Do not get pulled into the vortex of what you feel is going on, let what is actually happening unfold, stand back and give it space. Know which of the court cards warn of paranoia in a relationship; if you use reversals, then the Page of Swords (reversed) is an indicator that things may not be as they seem; but each of the Court cards can show some distrust of others.

  In some decks, you may be able to see if the Court cards are facing towards or away from each other. This can be significant to show if that person is facing towards the problem or away from it – possibly hiding something.

  In the Majors, the Moon card can show distrust, fear, anxiety, paranoia and sleepless nights. The appearance of any light source in the other cards in the reading can be used to focus on what is real, what can guide you – for example, the Hermit’s lamp (spend time by yourself) or the moon on the Two of Swords (wait for the tide to turn).

  3. Envy & Resentment

  Avoid being envious or resentful of your partner’s success.

  As your relationship grows, so do you. One of the pitfalls of this can be that this growth may not be evenly balanced. Your growth may outstrip your partners or vice versa. You may find yourself being on the outside of the relationship; this can be seen in the Five of Pentacles. There may be a need to move on and find a new path.

  Other cards that can indicate envy, particularly if they turn up together, are the Devil and the Five of Swords.

  4. Blame

  The cards to look out for in case of the ‘Blame Game’ are the sharp tongue of the swords. The King and Queen of Swords combined with the Seven of Swords and Nine of Swords are a double whammy of blame. The King and Queen are at odds, and the Seven of Swords is sneaky behavior coming into the situation. The Nine of Swords is a sleepless night of regret, with words (Swords) best left unsaid.

  INSIDER’S TIP: Looking at the Swords in a spread when asked about “who is to blame” or “whose fault is it” is the best key into a reading for these issues.

  5. Mutual Tidiness & Organization

  Let’s take a look at the Pages; they bring some organization into a reading. They are the cards that look after the Knight’s, make sure everything is ready for them, or tidy up after the joust.

  So if we take the Page of Swords, your other half may be like the Page of Swords and not have matured enough with household responsibilities. They may expect to rush over around after them tidying up their mess. A Queen of Swords crossed by a Page of Swords could spell out a messy relationship!

  So take a look at a relationship reading if you have more than one Page card, it will help you know what organization is possibly at odds in the relationship (see also my Seven-Year Itch Spread later).

  6. Control Issues

  The lack of give and take with regards to what you do and when you do it, can result in bother! If 7 of Wands is prominent expect them to want to want their own way! Page of Wands will not even bother to consult you at all, and will go ahead regardless of what you may think. Impetuous and a live wire who is all go! A Queen of Pentacles who is crossed with the Page of Wands in the now position of the Celtic cross is not going to be happy having her sense of order shook up.

  7. Respect & Consideration

  When the relationship lacks moments of respect for the other half then the cracks will run deep if something if action is not taken to remedy this. An indication of this in the cards could be the four of Pentacles, that has a tendency to be very much about a Me myself and I situation. Look at how he holds on to his things, he does not look the sharing sort of a guy does he! If the querent in this reading has the the Lovers in the “now” position of the Celtic Cross and is blocked by the energy that I have just mentioned, this combination is bringing trouble into Paradise! Selfish behavior is spoiling the potential of an idyllic relationship.

  8. Unclear Boundaries

  Losing control of your space and identity, and ending up conforming to your partner’s idea of who you are or should be. There is a danger that you end up being a walking talking toy-manipulated to somebody else’s whims. This is an Eight of Swords and Nine of Pentacles relationship trap. The ideal of security that turns into your very own prison. One that will eventually result in breakout!

  9. Argument & Miscommunication

  If we see the Ten of Swords, then the relationship is more about who gets the last knife in! It is easy to see in the image of the Ten of Swords - and the papal sign the victim makes with his hand (in the Waite-Smith Tarot) - as being another sort of a sign of the less holy kind! It is like he is getting the last word in here for sure!

  10. Money & Resources

  With the Five of Pentacles, relationships are all about the long game, and this applies very much applies to monetary security. If you can stick it out in the lean and mean years there is some road in your relationship. If not you could find yourself being all Tower-like and having to start all over again!

  11. Past Relationships

  If you find yourself in a relationship where your partner cannot let go of his or hers past relationship you could be onto a loser. There is nothing wrong with retaining a good regard for an ex, but for a relationship to be successful ditch the sentimentality for all things past. We leave things behind to make room for the new. Cards to look out for are Two of Cups in the ‘now’ position of the Celtic cross, two people coming together, a union, blocked by the Three of Swords, that signify a fixed/stuck state of being/ thinking, something needs to give, to be let go of! Otherwise we have a literal “two’s company threes a crowd” situation.

  The Major Arcana in Relationships

  The twenty-two Major Arcana are the big pictures of a relationship; the movie-highlights and themes; the Lovers – Death – the Fool – the Wheel of Fortune – we all recognize and know these things in our lives.

  So before we look at my special spreads, we’ll quickly see how the Major Arcana love each other, which in turn gives you a keyword or concept for each of these 22 powerful cards, for example, for the High Priestess, “concealment”, or for the Wheel, “no responsibility” (as said to it by the Hermit).

  And of course, this insight gives us useful information when reading relationship questions. In relationship, the cards themselves are transformed – the Emperor is actually here a card of “equality” not “dominance”, the Empress is a radically transformative card when seen through the eyes of love … prepare for some surprises in the Tarot tunnel of love:

  … so, why does the Fool love the Magician?

  The Fool

  I love you because you bring me back from the edge.

  The Magician

  I love you (says the Magician to the High Priestess) because I can never reveal the depths you conceal.

  High Priestess

  I love you (she says to the Empress) because you turn me inside out.

  The Empress

  I love you because you are my equal.

  The Emperor

  I love you (he says to him) because you can come out.

  The Hierophant

  I love you because you have what I can never admit to.

  The Lovers

  I love you (they say to it) because you can go beyond even love.

  The Chariot

  I love you (it says to them, both woman and lion alike) because you can pull apart.

  Strength

  I love you (the Lion roars) because you do not need another.

  The Hermit

  I love you because you have no responsibilities to others.

  The Wheel

  I love you, says the Wheel to Justice, because you align me to the journey.

  Justice

  I love you, because where I am blind, you see.

  The Hanged Man

  I love you, because you are my release.

  Death

  I love you, because you and I are the same.

  Temperance

  I love you, because you are not me.

  The Devil

  I love you, because you are all that I accomplish and fulfill me time and again.

  The Blasted Tower

  I love you because when I am gone, you are here.

  The Star

  I love you, says the Star to the Moon, because we share the sky in our difference.

  The Moon

  I love you, says Moon to Sun, because you give all that I can receive.

  The Sun

  I love you, because you complete what I began.

  The Last Judgment

  I love you, because you remain.

  The World

  I love you, she says to the Fool, because you recognize me.

  You may wish to try this with your own decks – each has a surprising story to tell in the tunnel of love. As it is said, love gives us new eyes.

 

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