Four Firemen For Christmas: A Reverse Harem, Pregnancy Romance, page 17
We all sat, the quiet tension different from what I’d felt when we first woke up. This felt like the beginning of the end. No. I wouldn’t allow that to happen. Emma meant too much to me. But I did need to talk to her about the situation. “Emma, what are your plans after Christmas?”
“I don’t know. Why?” Her fingers tightened on her fork, and she lifted her head to meet my eyes. “Right now, I’m trying to get through Christmas. Help my grandma and get back in my apartment.” Her cheeks pinked as she poked at her eggs. “I’m sure Derek and Alex will be glad to get their apartment back.”
“You can stay longer as far as I’m concerned.” Derek didn’t hesitate.
I loved the kid for his generous heart and moments like this when he spoke straight from his heart.
“I don’t think Alex is okay with that.” Emma kept pushing.
I couldn’t tell if she needed reassurance or if she was trying to push away from Alex to save herself. “Alex has to take time and think about things before he makes big decisions. He didn’t choose lightly when he decided to stay last night. The only reason he left was because he needed to think without distractions. And you are one hell of a distraction.” I meant it in a good way, but Emma blanched and started to scoot back from the table.
“Talk to us, Emma.” Derek’s soulful eyes lit on Emma and held. The kid had depth, I’d give him that.
She huffed and covered her face with her hands. “I don’t understand why all this happened. Why did Alex get upset when I pointed out the obvious? You’re going to get tired of me. This is going to end.”
Each word was a punch in the gut. “That’s not what the rest of us are thinking. I know I’m not.” I grasped one of her hands and Derek took the other. “I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to keep you around longer.”
“What do you mean?” That spark of passion that I’d seen in her from the beginning lit up. She turned from uncertain to determined in a matter of seconds. “You want to keep me around?”
“Yes, Emma. I want to keep you around. In fact, I needed to talk to you about something.” The pressure of her hand in mine kept me grounded and focused on the problem. “Our relationship is a threat to my job. Not just that, but my entire career and my reputation. You work for me, and that complicates things.”
She processed my words, her mouth puckering and her brows drawing together.
“It’s a shit question, but I hoped you’d be willing to look for another job after Christmas, so the threat of exposure isn’t as great.” I made sure to frame everything so that she didn’t feel like I was pushing her away. She had every right to make her own decisions as long as I put all the cards out on the table.
Derek was still there. His presence helped create an easy atmosphere. There were times when I thought he didn’t take anything seriously, but seeing him with Emma showed me a whole new side to him.
Emma pulled her hands away from each of us and put them in her lap. Her eyes blazed with a mix of anger and hurt as she fixed her gaze on me. “You want me to find another job?” Her offended tone jerked a knot in my heart.
The heavy words hung in the air already weighted with tension that knotted my shoulders.
“So, it was okay for me to work with you and fuck you in your office, but it's not okay now?” Her voice crackled, accusing me.
“It wasn’t like that.” I swallowed hard, struggling to find the right words. “I've been worried about it since the first day we worked together,” I admitted, my voice regretful. The scent of bacon and eggs lingering in the air turned my stomach. The contrast of being happy half an hour ago and feeling the ground shift beneath my feet kept me from being able to eat.
Emma stood and paced back and forth across the kitchen, her steps filled with restless energy. She nibbled on her thumbnail and shook her head. “This is messed up,” she muttered. An annoyed huff slipped past her lips as she tried to make sense of it all. “I get why you're asking me to find another job. It's perfectly logical. But there's a part of me that is completely pissed and feels used.”
I leaped to my feet, as did Derek, and crossed to her. I ached to be closer, to offer comfort or support, should she want it. We let her keep moving, giving her space to express her feelings and frustrations. In this tumultuous moment, all we wanted was to be there for her. Even if she couldn’t stand to look at me.
“Emma, will you look at me?” My dominating nature wanted to demand her attention. I kept those tendencies under control.
Seconds stretched into minutes as Emma continued to pace, the room echoing with the sound of her footsteps and the heavy weight of unspoken words mingled with her refusal to look at me. Derek and I exchanged glances. Concern and understanding flashed in his eyes. This was a pivotal moment. One that could redefine our relationships and futures.
Emma finally paused, her back to us, her shoulders tense. Her voice wavered, “I thought… I thought we had something special, something more than just work. I thought…” Her voice trailed off.
I took a step closer and held out my hand. “We do have something special. That's why this is so difficult. I don't want you to think you're just another employee.”
Derek nodded, his eyes locked onto Emma's form. “We care about you,” he added, his voice steady and gentle. “This isn't about dismissing you or using you. It's about protecting all of us.”
Emma turned, her eyes glistening. She seemed torn between anger and sadness. “Well, I did say that this had to end sometime. Maybe we call it quits before things get any worse.”
“No.” I couldn’t fathom that. Not when I was finally at a place where I’d met a woman who understood me. “That’s not what I want Emma.”
“Me either,” Derek added.
“And if it’s what I want?” The tears in her eyes finally fell. “I can’t fall in love with all of you, just for you to come to your senses in a year or even in a month and say that you’re done. It’s not fair to me or to any of you.”
Damn. She was admitting to already having feelings for us. For all of us. I should be happy, but all I could think about was the complications of having her at the station.
My phone rang, the shrill tune dragging my gaze away from Emma. I almost ignored it, but I recognized the ringtone. District Chief Miles. Why was my superior calling me on my day off? Nothing good could come from this.
“We’ll continue this discussion in a minute.” I took my phone from the counter and answered. “Henry here.”
“Henry, it’s Miles.”
I nodded and turned my back on Emma and Derek, who was comforting Emma with an arm over her shoulders. He whispered in her ear and she smiled weakly. Good. Maybe we’d work this out after all.
“We have a situation. I need you to come in.” Miles’s voice held a note of anger and weary resignation that I didn’t understand.
“What’s wrong?” Alex was my first thought. Had he gone to my supervisor to complain?
Miles huffed a long breath. “A sexual harassment claim has been filed against you. You need to come and address the complaint.”
Ice filled my body and I could barely breathe. Who would file a complaint against me? The only woman I’d had sex with was Emma. Only one other woman worked at the station, and I never worked on the same shifts as her. Would a guy file a complaint? I palmed my chest. “I’ll be there in a few minutes.” Fuck. What in the world was going on?
25
ALEX
I’d made an absolute fool of myself. Last night’s magic still seeped through my veins, but it was dampened by Emma’s reminder that none of this was real. It wouldn’t last. I wasn’t sure what to do with that information.
Thank fuck I’d put my clothes on before coming downstairs so I could bolt when I needed to. I even had my keys in my pocket so I didn’t have to return to the bedroom and face the reality of last night. I couldn’t stay in Henry’s house one more second. Staying would mean confronting the change in feelings knocking around in my chest every time I looked at Emma. I didn’t want to give her up. But I couldn’t very well be in love with a woman I’d known less than a month. It took me almost a year to tell Danielle I loved her. It should take me at least that long to recover from our breakup.
I steered my car into the parking lot a block away from the fire station and climbed out. Christmas music floated out of a nearby store, the happy tunes infuriating me. Nothing about our relationship with Emma was going as planned. “Because it’s not a real relationship,” I hissed to myself. I shouldn’t need the reminder. Emma was clear from the beginning that this was never going to last. I should have listened. Why didn’t I ever listen?
Cold snaked down the back of my neck, and I flipped my collar up to block the snowflakes burrowing down my spine. Bare tree branches rattled and creaked overhead, the mournful sound a stark reminder of my own hollowness. Fuck me.
I ducked into the fire station and shrugged out of my coat while cutting into the weight room before anyone spotted me. The last thing I wanted was to answer questions on why I’d come by the station on my day off. The next time I was scheduled to be here, it would be Christmas day. A day of joy and happiness. A day we’d hand out Christmas presents to kids in need and smile until our cheeks hurt.
What would Emma be doing on Christmas day? If we weren’t working, could we have spent the day together? No. She had a grandmother and a mother to spend the season with, she didn’t need us.
I checked the weight on the barbell then dropped into place on the bench. Gripping the bar with both hands, I lifted it off the rack and pumped it until my arms shook and my chest burned.
I still couldn’t get the sight of Emma out of my head. Every breath brought her closer until I almost smelled her perfume.
“Get out of my head.” I swung the bar back into place and rolled to a sitting position. If lifting weights didn’t distract me, what else might? I couldn’t go back to my apartment. Emma might decide to go there. Though she’d probably spend the rest of our time off with Henry. I couldn’t blame her after last night. Our apartment was too small for me right now. Not to mention I saw Emma in every room. That place was ruined for me without Emma.
What I needed to do was to figure out how to get her to stay. We’d all had a great time last night. There was no reason that couldn’t keep going.
Anger knotted my stomach. I shouldn’t have to convince her of anything. Either she wanted to stay or she didn’t. There was no middle ground here. I’d known after the first time I had sex with Emma that it was too good to be true. She was too perfect for this to last. She’d told me then that it was temporary, and my fucking heart refused to listen.
Derek was right. I’d needed some good sex with no strings attached. I never should have let my heart get involved.
Henry’s voice carried from the main building. I straightened and peered around the edge of the door frame. The man I trusted with my life stood outside the district chief’s office with his arms crossed and a frown pulling creases in his cheeks. I was used to seeing Henry solemn, but not sullen. What was he doing here when he had Emma at his house?
Nothing good.
I crept out of the weight room and jogged around to the other side of the building. The firefighters on duty were all on their way into the kitchen for breakfast, making it easy to avoid them. I knew of a spot where I could listen in on their conversation without being seen. I’d found it when Danielle and I were seeing each other. We’d sneak up there sometimes and have sex while I was on duty. The office door opened and District Chief Miles motioned Henry inside.
Their expressions drove me to move faster. I didn’t want to miss a second of this conversation. I bypassed the steps to keep them from hearing me and climbed up the narrow space between two walls, then dropped into a tiny square of space that led nowhere but gave me access to their voices through the thin wall.
“Can I get you a cup of coffee, Henry?” Miles sounded overly polite, which meant he had bad news. The guy was straightforward to the point of being too blunt at times. Whatever he had to say to Henry, he was trying to soften it the only way he knew how.
Steps scuffled and Henry’s voice sounded almost in my ear. “No. I’m fine.” A throat cleared, then Henry again. “What’s going on here, Miles?”
“It’s been reported that you’ve had sexual relations with a woman while on duty. In your office.” Miles’s voice was sharp enough to cut steel.
I couldn’t see either of them, but I could imagine the fucking scene with perfect detail. Miles liked to stand with his hands on his desk, his body leaned forward like he was trying to be personable.
Henry would be at the wall, his back pressed into the cold concrete and his eyes burning with that inner fire I’d seen a handful of times during his career. The man kept himself so tightly under wraps that it had been a relief to see him come undone with Emma last night. He’d been controlling and dominating, but he sank into Emma like he’d die without her.
What kind of woman gave that up?
I waited for Henry to dispute the claim, but a long stretch of silence sounded instead.
Finally, Henry spoke again. “You said on the phone that a sexual harassment claim had been filed against me. Is this a separate accusation?”
What? I straightened so fast, I almost cracked my head on the steel beam overhead. I gripped it with both hands to keep from tearing into the office to defend Henry. He didn’t need my interference. It would look worse for him if I did bust in.
“That’s not important.” Miles’s seat strained, telling me he must’ve sat down.
Henry scoffed. “It’s pretty damned fucking important to me. Who filed the complaint?”
If Miles realized Henry wasn’t disputing the claim, he didn’t bring it up. But the man was smart. He’d figure it out sooner or later. He hadn’t outright asked Henry to confirm or deny the claim. It was the only thing giving Henry a chance at keeping his job.
They’d tolerate shit like that from me or Derek, though with a severe warning not to let it continue. I knew because I’d been in this office before Danielle broke up with me. We’d gotten caught sneaking out of the fire truck and one of the rookies ratted me out. If Henry admitted to breaking protocol, he’d be fired on the spot. There were no excuses in Miles’s eyes that excused a man in Henry’s position.
Miles’s chair squeaked and the silence grew unbearable.
I tried not to think about what I’d do without Henry leading us. I trusted the man with my life, and I couldn’t see myself following any other man as captain except maybe Samuel. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I slapped a hand over it, silencing it before it could ring.
“Who filed the complaint, sir?” Henry asked again, his tone bitter.
“I’m not at liberty to discuss that information,” Miles answered.
The fuck he wasn’t. So someone was allowed to accuse Henry, but he didn’t get to know who?
Fuck and damn it all. I knew who Henry’d fucked in his office. There had only ever been one woman in that office who Henry would have sex with, and it was Emma. She’d betrayed Henry, betrayed all of us.
The revelation hung in the air, a heavy cloud casting a shadow over the once-familiar surroundings. Bile rose in my throat. She’d been with us all night and all morning, which meant she’d filed the complaint before asking to have sex with all of us.
What a liar and a hypocrite. No wonder she’d said this couldn’t last. She planned on ruining it.
Well, I wouldn’t let her ruin Henry.
My body turned hot, then cold and hot again. Conflicting emotions surged through me. How could she do this to Henry? To us? I couldn’t believe I’d misjudged her, that we all had. Henry trusted her. He’d shown her his darkness and she’d spit in his face. My trust in Emma shattered as I threw myself back onto the main level.
Laughter burst out from the kitchen, the current group enjoying the moment of peace. They all knew how quickly it could be broken. One ring of the bell and they’d bolt out of the kitchen, throw on their gear, and rush out to put their lives in danger.
A sense of betrayal reverberated through me, stifling every breath. I hadn’t felt this betrayed even when Danielle broke up with me. Never felt this tension mixed with a palpable sense of disillusionment.
The cold bite of reality contrasted sharply with the heat of my anger and disappointment. I grabbed my coat from the rack and shoved my arms into the sleeves. I barely felt the cold air stinging my cheeks or the snow peppering the top of my head as it fell in thick sheets that obscured my vision.
Everything seemed unforgiving and harsh. I pulled my coat tighter around me, a feeble attempt to shield myself from the emotional storm. Rage and the chill wind rocked me back and forth until I reached my car and dropped into the driver’s seat.
The city outside continued its usual hustle and bustle. Smiling people hurried up and down the sidewalk, most likely on their way to finish Christmas shopping.
I slammed my palm on the steering wheel and ripped open the glovebox. The necklace I’d bought Emma yesterday sat in its little red box and mocked me for a fool.
“You’re not getting away with this.” I cranked the engine and put the car in gear. As I eased toward the road, I spotted Samuel and Henry standing outside the main bay. The bright red fire engine outlined their bodies, and I knew by the look on Samuel’s face that Henry had told him the news.
They both turned toward me when I hit the street and punched the gas. Samuel started to move away from Henry and held up a hand like he wanted me to stop.
No way. Not this time. Emma was going to face the consequences of this, whether she liked it or not. What was the purpose of her harassment case? Had she thought they’d wait until after Christmas, giving her plenty of time to rack up sex time with all of us before she called it quits?
I didn’t know the answer, but I was about to find out.
