Four Firemen For Christmas: A Reverse Harem, Pregnancy Romance, page 10
Samuel walked past me carrying a hose over one shoulder. He gave me a look in passing, a silent question that asked what was the matter. I frowned and refused to break down over something as simple as seeing my ex again. We’d never get back together. I didn’t want us to get back together.
After what I’d seen with Emma this morning, I had other dreams now. I’d seen what it could be like between two people, and I refused to settle for less ever again. I ground my teeth and reconsidered. Things with Danielle were great in the beginning. I’d thought she was the one. Didn’t I owe it to myself to try and work things out?
We deserved a chance at happily ever after. I’d only known Emma for less than three days. I couldn’t pass up a sure thing for the delicious idea that Derek and Emma presented.
I glanced at the clock on my way to the equipment room to check our equipment. Not even noon. Could this day go any slower?
A noise from Henry’s office drew my attention that way. The door had been closed all morning. That wasn’t unusual. Henry often closed the door when he had a lot of paperwork to catch up on. But something about the closed door with Emma and Henry in there together made my nerves prickle.
“Here.” Derek shoved a coat at me. “This one’s torn. We need a replacement on the truck.”
“I’m supposed to be checking the equipment.” I caught the coat before it hit the floor.
Derek shrugged. “You've been busy moping around this morning. Thought I’d take care of it for you.”
The hours stretched into infinity before my shift ended. I checked my phone and grimaced at the message from Danielle saying she’d meet me behind the fire station at eleven.
I tossed the coat back at Derek. “Here. Since you decided to do my job today, you can be the one to tell Henry you need a replacement.”
Derek scowled and looked toward the office but skulked that way without a word.
Good. Now I just had to get outside without Samuel growing suspicious. He’d hung around me all morning, like he was waiting on me to fall apart. I wasn’t that fragile. Looking over my shoulder and grabbing the overflowing trash from the can, I tied it up and headed out back. The bag got me outside the station without suspicion.
Danielle popped around the corner almost right away. She’d obviously been out here waiting for me. “Why didn’t you come inside?” I motioned at the thickly falling snow. “Warmer in there.”
Danielle buffed her arms, then hopped around. Her petite frame barely put her to my armpit, and her delicate features flushed with the cold. She had a pert, upturned nose and a willowy body that I’d loved for three years. I knew every inch of her body, and her expressions. I’d been right that she wanted something. Her gaze caught mine and she licked her lips. “You’re looking good.”
“What do you want?” I practically growled the words in her face, leaning in close so she couldn’t misunderstand my anger. I’d managed to keep it under control until I saw her. All my rage boiled up and spilled over. “Unless you’re here to apologize…”
She wrenched backward, her arms snapping over her chest. “I didn’t come here to fight.”
No, but she sure as shit came for something. I intended to find out what. Looking at her, I realized that everything I’d been feeling culminated in this moment. I had a decision to make. We could try and go back to how things were, or not.
“What do you need, Danielle?” Her name still rolled off my tongue with that honeyed sweetness that made it linger. I wanted her, and if she offered, I’d take her back and pick up right where we left off.
My emotions rampaged from hot to cold and back again. I’d thought I knew what I wanted, but having her standing in front of me tore me up inside.
Danielle closed the distance between us and slipped her arms around my neck. “I missed you, Alex.”
“Yeah?” I gripped her forearms and touched my forehead to hers. “Because the last time we were together, you told me I was pathetic, and you had to force yourself to have sex with me. Out of pity.”
“I didn’t mean it.” She rubbed her palms over my scalp. “You want me to prove it to you?”
Did I? I hesitated long enough that she took it as consent and reached beneath my pants.
“Wait.” I stepped out of reach and crossed my arms. “Tell me why you really came here. Why did you sound like something was wrong in your texts? You couldn’t even wait until I got off work.”
She pouted prettily and tipped her head to the side in the way she knew I loved. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t want to ask you, but I’m desperate.”
“Okay.” I tightened my grip on my emotions, tugging them down deep where she couldn’t hurt me anymore.
“I need money. My rent’s due and my new job isn’t paying as much as they promised.” She waved a hand and ran it through her blonde hair.
I’d almost expected something like this. I hated to be negative about every interaction, but I’d known something was off in the way she reached out. A few weeks ago, I would have been heartbroken if she wanted nothing more than money. Her offer of sex had been nothing more than a prelude to this. Fucking shit. Like I owed her any part of my body. Or my money. I owed her nothing. Especially after the way she treated me and then ended things with nothing but hateful words. To come back now and say she hadn’t meant them? It wasn’t enough.
I withdrew into the vault of indifference I’d wrapped around my heart after our breakup. “Find some other guy to hustle. I’m done.”
I must truly be unlovable. I turned my back on her and walked away.
“Alex, you can’t do this.” Danielle hurried after me but stopped just short of the door leading inside.
“I just did.” Nothing mattered but getting away from her. The cold air bit into my skin, causing goosebumps to erupt. I’d gone out without my coat and beanie, and the cold seeped in deep. Even my heart had frozen over. I was an impenetrable wall of ice.
Danielle grabbed my arm and tried to pull me back. “Please. I’ll do anything. I need the money.”
“Sorry. You lost access to my wallet when you told me that you’d been faking orgasms for a year.” I shook her off.
“You really don’t want to tell me no.” A hint of despair and sheer meanness entered her voice.
I didn’t turn around, didn’t want to see her face. “What else could you do to hurt me? I’m done.” I wrenched open the narrow metal door and stepped into the fire station.
Danielle hissed my name a few more times but remained outside. She used to come in here all the time. I thanked whatever gods existed that she stayed out. If Samuel saw her skulking around, he’d have a fit.
Emma walked out of Henry’s office and every synapse in my brain locked onto her flushed cheeks and the just-had-sex glow radiating off her skin. Fucking shit. She had sex with Henry. In his office. During working hours. What was this woman doing to us? She ran a hand through her hair, pulling it over her shoulder and continuing to thread her fingers through the long locks.
Jealousy raged as I watched her fix her hair and dart into the bathroom. Muscles bunched and flexed. Did I confront Henry? Nah. It wouldn’t solve anything and would probably make everything worse. Henry was welcome to do whatever he wanted. If he wanted to fuck Emma on company time, then it was not my concern. Not even if he’d fire me for doing the same thing. The jealous rage flared brighter. Henry and Derek both had sex with Emma today. In most situations, I’d be concerned about the woman’s intentions. But not Emma. I’d watched her this morning, and nothing about her concerned me except for how easily she muddled my head and made me want her too.
Could I have sex with her? She’d looked open to it this morning. I wasn’t over Danielle, but Emma might be a nice distraction to get me back on my feet again. Wait. No. I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t use Emma for sex because I was horny and lonely. That’s not the kind of man I wanted to be. Even if this Emma thing was temporary and we all agreed, I wasn’t the type of guy who banged and bailed.
Damn my thoughts for always running in circles and never giving me any peace. I wanted Emma. I should be allowed to sink into the oblivion of sex as long as all involved parties knew the end goal. I wasn’t looking for another relationship. People had casual sex all the time. There was no reason I couldn’t try it for myself.
First, I had to talk to Emma and find out if she was interested in me.
Derek and Henry talked in Henry’s open doorway. Looking at Henry, I wouldn’t know anything was different. Until I really took my time and examined the captain. He had a looseness about him that I’d never seen before.
The typical tight face and pinched expression had given way to a relaxed posture and an almost grin that definitely wasn’t a frown but something closer to a casual smirk.
I made my way toward the bathroom right as the door opened and Emma stepped out. She’d fixed her smudged makeup and brushed her hair. Her lips quirked up in a bright smile when she saw me. “Hey, Alex.”
“Emma.” I propped my shoulder on the wall and crossed my arms. “Had a good morning?”
Pink that had nothing to do with her makeup filled her cheeks.
“Alex, drills.” Samuel called out from behind me.
I waved at him. “In a minute.” I’d gathered my nerve and intended to ask Emma about us.
Samuel grabbed my arm and pulled. “You can talk to Emma later. We need to run drills now.”
Samuel’s grip was impossible to break, but I still yanked my arm back and snarled at him even as he hauled me to the far side of the fire truck. “What the hell, Samuel?”
Samuel looked past me, toward where I’d left Emma. “Maybe give her a minute before you go asking her to ride your hose. I know we’re both anxious to be next in line, but we don’t want to scare her off.”
“She had sex with Henry, you know that, right?” I pointed toward Henry’s office, where Henry stepped back and let Emma walk past him into the office.
Henry’s gaze never left Emma. I could practically see the wheels churning in Henry’s mind. He closed the door, and the muffled sound shot through me. Did he lock the door? Was he planning on banging her again right under our noses?
Samuel shoved a firehose at me. “I know. And that means she needs some time to think. Henry isn’t like us. I’m not telling you not to go after her. Hell, I plan on climbing into bed with her as soon as I get a chance.”
I considered what he’d said and how he’d brought up Henry. “What do you mean Henry’s not like us?”
Samuel shook his head. “Trust me, if you need to know, I’ll tell you. If this whole sharing thing gets to that level.” He shrugged. “Focus on the job while we’re on the job. You can talk to Emma all you want when we’re off duty.”
“Henry fucked her in his office,” I hissed in a low breath. “But I can’t even talk to her?”
“It’s jacked, I admit it.” He threw his arms up. “Do what you want, but I’m trying to help.”
Like always. Samuel was always looking out for me. I looked toward Henry’s office one last time. Nothing moved and no sounds drifted through the thick walls. I ground my teeth together and nodded once. “Fine.”
I’d wait to talk to Emma. But the next time we were in the apartment together, we were going to have a discussion. If she agreed that we could do this without feelings getting involved, then I’d consider giving in to my desire for her.
15
EMMA
I’d never had a workday like this one. Which was probably a good thing. I mean, I really shouldn’t go around fucking my bosses. Henry was the exception. I couldn’t wait to be with him again. What other stuff might he make me do? I still felt the power of him between my legs and tasted him on my tongue. I’d never had a sexual experience like that. It opened up all sorts of new fantasies. Derek’s idea of sharing was growing on me by the minute.
“Go home, Emma.” Henry tapped his watch and looked at me from the side.
I stood in a smooth motion that belied the tension gripping me. “What about you?”
He gathered up another of the endless stacks of paper. “I’ll be here a while longer.”
What if I offered to stay? I started to ask, but then stopped. I’d had sex twice today already. I shouldn’t push my luck. Being with two guys, combined with Henry’s unique needs, had made me slightly sore, and all I wanted was to go home and soak in a warm bath.
I gathered up my purse and coat, then stopped by Henry’s desk. “Thank you. For this morning. I had fun.” Please say we would do it again sometime. My thoughts screamed at me to invite him into the tub with me. That would mean inviting him to come to Derek and Alex’s apartment. Probably not the best idea. I rolled my lips together and headed toward the door, giving him a little wave on my way out.
“I’ll see you soon.” Henry’s husky voice followed me out the door.
I shivered in delight and tugged my coat over my shoulders. Flipping my hair out of the collar, I scanned the building in search of Derek or Samuel. Or even Alex. I hadn’t seen any of them since Alex stopped to talk earlier. I wasn’t sure if they were avoiding me or if this was their normal day. The thought of going back to their apartment by myself didn’t appeal so I walked to my grandma’s house instead.
A brisk wind kicked up, sending flurries of snow scampering across the sidewalks and into the recently salted roads. I’d have to consider taking a cab before long, but right now I enjoyed the walk. It left me with my memories of the morning playing on repeat. And what delicious memories they were. I felt myself grinning and realized people meeting me on the sidewalk were smiling back. They had no idea what filthy things I had on my mind. I laughed behind my gloved hand and crossed the street.
Grandma stood in the open door, kissing her boyfriend. Whoops. I paused at the end of the drive and waited for them to finish their goodbye. Once he was in his car and backing out into the street, Grandma looked up and caught me standing there like a dork. She waved and grinned. “Come on in, honey.”
That’s what I loved about Grandma. She was never too busy for me and always made me feel welcome. A sudden rush of guilt swamped me. What was I doing, having sex with Derek this morning? That was bad enough, but then I’d gone and tempted Henry until he had sex with me too. What did that make me? Was I a sexual deviant?
Oh God. What if I was a sexaholic?
I’d let Samuel and Alex watch me have sex, and I’d enjoyed it. I’d enjoyed it way too much for my own good. Even worse, I was considering letting them share me.
“You going to stand out there all day or come in here and tell me what’s wrong?” Grandma planted her hands on her hips and glared at me until I hurried forward and crossed into the kitchen.
“How’d you know something’s wrong?” I asked as I sat in the kitchen chair and poured a cup of tea. I must’ve stood out there longer than I realized if she’d had time to set up for tea.
Grandma snorted. “Lord, Emma. You wear worry like a shawl. It’s obvious on your face. You looked fine at first, but I watched it come over you like a bad storm.”
“It’s kind of a personal thing.” I hedged toward the conversation and took a sip of my tea. “You might not be comfortable talking about it.”
“Must be about sex, then.” She sat easily in her chair and poured her tea then swirled honey into the cup. “I’ve heard more than my share of stories. All those years as a nurse, I reckon. Probably not much you could say to shock me nowadays.”
If she expected her words to shock me, they did. I straightened and wrapped both hands around my cup. Words jumbled up together to the point that I had trouble getting a single one out.
“Those firefighters have you torn up good. Which one is it?” She leaned forward and lowered her voice. “Have you had sex with one of them?”
Tea sloshed over the rim of my cup and ran down my hand. I spluttered and spewed tea. “What makes you ask that?”
“Mm-hmm. You did.” That devilish gleam entered her eyes. “How was it? Are you upset cause it was terrible?”
“It wasn’t terrible.” I cleaned up the spilled tea and poured myself a fresh cup. “I had sex with two of them this morning. At different times.”
Grandma’s entire face lit up in a smile. “Two of them? Well, I’ll be snookered.”
“Is something wrong with me?” I blurted out the question, then regretted it.
“Not a thing.” She tapped her finger into my arm. “And if anyone says different, then you ignore it. Did one of those men tell you that?” Her ire rose with every second. Much more and she’d march right down to the station and tell them all off.
“No.” I hurried to reassure her. “But why can’t I be satisfied with just one of them? Why do I want so much more?”
“Honey, as long as you’re all consenting adults and everyone knows the expectations and agrees, then there’s nothing wrong with having multiple partners.” She swirled her tea around in her cup and met my eyes in her no-nonsense way. “I wish I’d taken the chance to be more adventurous.”
I arched a brow, encouraging her to continue.
“Love and lust are two different things, dear. I loved your grandfather with my whole heart. But there was a time before him when I had the opportunity to fall hard and fast for two other men. I turned them down, knowing how society would look on me.” She frowned into her tea. “When you’re as old as me and you’re looking back on your life, will you regret telling them no?”
“Yes.” I knew it with every fiber of my being, without knowing how I knew. This was what I needed to do. But uncertainty kept horning in on my visions of Derek and Henry.
Grandma scooted to the end of her seat and held my hand between hers. “You mentioned there were four? Do you want to sleep with all of them at the same time?”
“Grandma!” My spine slammed into the back of the chair. The words were scandalous, even if I had been thinking along those lines myself.
