“You talk about her as though she is a person,” Vivian commented.

  “She’s my life,” Jerry responded passionately. “And I’ll get her back and rescue her.”

  Vivian looked at her with a kind of awe, the same kind that had been dashed away earlier that day. Jerry held her gaze a moment longer before continuing on. “When we get her, we’ll bring her to a nearby island, assess the damage and what needs repaired and take her home. We’ll split the crew into two to bring the medical vessel with us should she survive.”

  “And Wench’s Dream?” Yafe asked.

  Jerry raised an eyebrow. She would very much like to plunge that ship into the depths of the poisoned sea below them, but it would be a waste to do that with a perfectly functioning ship. Unwilling to give a full answer, Jerry nodded. “We’ll see.”

  “As soon as we’re aboard, we’ll continue more training routines,” Yafe continued. “I want to make sure we’re all working well together before we take on Captain Blaise.”

  “It’ll be a necessity,” Ursula finally spoke up. “Blaise is ruthless, and he won’t let you go easily, especially considering this will be your second encounter with him.”

  Jerry wasn’t quite sure where Ursula was getting that information from, but she knew it was true. It would be true of any pirate captain who truly lived on the seas, unlike her. She was a pirate by necessity. He was a pirate because it was in his veins. There was never another option for him except to captain his own vessel for the sole purpose of thievery.

  “We won’t lose this time.” Jerry said confidently, yet there was a inkling in the pit of her stomach that told her otherwise. She would lose something in the process. She just didn’t know what that would be yet. “Ursula, keep doing the salt runs. I don’t want to lose another contract with Morty should we be able to avoid it.”

  “Understood.” Ursula nodded, her arms still crossed as though she were protecting herself.

  “Yafe, let’s divide the crews.”

  Jerry stood up sharply, making her way over the small medical vessel. They were going to have to double up on a lot of the rooms until they managed to steal Yarrow back, but then they would be divided again and all would be well. She ignored the others as she went to the wheelhouse to completely familiarize herself with the ship’s center. She needed to know the ins and outs of its controls and exactly how she could quickly maneuver it. They would do that during some of the training that Yafe would run.

  She blew out a breath as her crew started to come aboard. The small device in the center of the dash rang. Jerry’s heart stuttered, and she leaned in to see where the call originated from. She cursed under her breath when she saw it was Raegina’s government building and had Arloa’s numbers attached to it.

  As much as she wanted to answer it, to see how angry Arloa was with her, Jerry couldn’t let on where they were, not yet. She needed more time to find Yarrow and to get her back. Closing out the communication, Jerry straightened her shoulders, wishing her crew would hurry the hell up so they could get going.

  Immediately, the communications sounded again. She wasn’t going to win this one, but she was going to hold out for as long as she possibly could. Jerry cursed, “Fuck me.”

  CHAPTER 16

  The communications device would not stop ringing. Jerry tried her damn best for hours to ignore it, but as they were finally out at sea and on their way to find Blaise, she wasn’t sure if she could hold out any longer. Anger built in her stomach at the annoyance, and she knew that Arloa knew. There would be no other reason the woman would consistently call her ship that much unless she knew Jerry was on it.

  Swallowing hard, Jerry straightened her back as another notification came up that Arloa was trying again. She was just about to slam her hand down to deny the communications when Sacha’s voice hit her. “You should just talk to her.”

  Spinning around, Jerry’s eyes went wide at the sight of the young woman leaning against the door to the wheelhouse. She’d been so distracted that she hadn’t even noticed Sacha come up there, but it looked as though she had been there a while. “Talk to who?”

  “The Kauket woman you fawn over.”

  Jerry frowned, guilt hitting her like a ton of bricks. From the conversation with Vivian about the Kaukets and who they really were, to the conversation with Arloa about what she really wanted, it was nearly too much for her feeble mind to handle. Did she want Arloa? Yes. But she again had been reminded that it would be impossible to separate the woman from her family in some ways.

  “You should just talk to her.”

  “I don’t know what to say,” Jerry confessed, heat filling her cheeks to the point it was nearly unbearable. “Hey, Arloa, I stole your ship. Sorry. I might bring it back intact. That sounds oddly patronizing.”

  Sacha’s lips curled slightly. “I like you, Cap, you know that. But sometimes you’re dense.”

  Jerry cocked her head to the side and crossed her arms, not sure she wanted to take on the battle of finding out what exactly she was dense about.

  “She loves you,” Sacha whispered as if it was some sort of revelation.

  “I know that,” Jerry answered.

  Sacha’s lips quirked slightly. “You love her.”

  Jerry equally knew that, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to admit that to her crew, especially when love was not a priority in her life. Survival was everything, which made love frivolous. Jerry stepped back to the dash and the wheel, making sure the vessel was flying as straight as it could and checking the sensors that there wasn’t another ship hidden somewhere. She’d been fooled once by Captain Blaise Lotchski, and she wouldn’t allow it to happen again.

  “Cap?” Sacha stepped in closer, standing next to her against the wheel as the communications went off again. “Talk to her.”

  “No,” Jerry stubbornly answered.

  “Cap,” Sacha started again, this time her voice gentle. She reached over and covered Jerry’s hand with hers and squeezed lightly. “She’s just going to keep calling if you don’t talk to her, and she’ll be royally pissed the longer you wait.”

  Jerry knew Sacha was right, as much as she didn’t want to admit it. She squared her shoulders and knocked her head toward the door of the wheelhouse. “Get some rest, Sacha. Yafe is going to make you run rounds in the morning with training.”

  “Perfect.” Sacha’s eyes lit up as if she was actually excited for that possibility. Jerry couldn’t stop her chuckle as Sacha practically flounced out of the wheelhouse to the cabins below.

  The dark skies in front of her soothed her soul. It had been far too long since she’d been on open waters like this, in control, waiting, just moving through the air as though she had everything under her control. She didn’t, but the world didn’t need to know that. Rolling her shoulders, Jerry tightened her grip on the wheel wondering if it’d be advantageous to do a drill right then and there. It would at the very least distract her from all these impending communications from Arloa. Seriously, didn’t the woman have a job to do that would distract her from making these fucking calls?

  Slamming her hand down on the communications, Jerry growled out, “Don’t you have something better to do?”

  “Jer?” Arloa sounded exhausted, her voice slow and her words slurred.

  Confused, Jerry narrowed her gaze and stared at the small holographic version of Arloa that was cast in light purples. It was only her face, but she looked tired in a way Jerry had never seen her, not even when she’d rescued them, although Jerry had been slightly confused and distracted at that point and hadn’t been paying full attention.

  “What do you want, Arloa?”

  “Did you take my ship?”

  Confusion swam into Jerry’s hazy mind as she narrowed her gaze at Arloa’s blurred image. “Of course, I did. You contacted me on it.”

  “Oh. Right.” Arloa rubbed her temple and glanced at something beyond the scope of the communication device.

  Jerry wasn’t quite sure what to make of that comment. She’d never seen Arloa so despondent or confused before. She was always the picture of put together and sharp. “Did something happen?”

  “No,” Arloa dragged the word out, and Jerry sensed the lie before it finished.

  When had they started lying to each other? She knew when she had, but when had Arloa begun lying to her was more the question. Sighing, Jerry adjusted their course slightly before putting the autopilot on so she could focus on Arloa fully.

  “What happened, Arloa?”

  “Why did you take my ship?”

  “Because it was available, and I needed a ship.” Jerry’s words had a bite to them, but she wasn’t sure she’d even wanted to hold it back. She wanted an argument. The amount of times Arloa had tried to contact her was obnoxious, and she’d only answered to put an end to the incessant communications. “Will you answer my question?”

  “What question was that again?”

  “What happened?” Jerry pointedly emphasized the last word. She put her hands on her hips and stared Arloa dead in the eye as much as she could, being in a completely different part of Penum. She wanted to know, and as much as the stolen vessel was between them, Jerry still felt the need to comfort her, to console her, to be that person for Arloa as much as she could.

  “They found that missing senator dead, and it’s been chaotic all day.”

  “Is that why you were contacting me?” Jerry raised an eyebrow, her stomach sinking at the thought Arloa could be next in line to be taken and killed. She still couldn’t fathom it, but she wasn’t going to bring it up again because the last time she’d done that, Arloa had shot her down.

  “No. I was trying to see if you took my ship.”

  “I believe it’s your family ship,” Jerry snarked back, her tone sharp. “Which would have been good for you to mention at any time that I was on it previously.”

  Arloa’s lips twitched, which Jerry took as a good sign. “Of course, it’s my family’s ship. Do you think I could afford a vessel on my own?”

  Jerry shrugged. She honestly had no idea how well off Arloa was. They’d never discussed credits, and while she was a senator, she didn’t exactly represent a rich part of Raegina either. Jerry had purchased her own vessels with credits she had earned, but they were also much older and not medical ships.

  “Ah, I see,” Arloa started. “You really do think I am my family.”

  “Most days you are,” Jerry countered. “And then some days I see the real woman underneath it all.”

  “And what do you see today?”

  Jerry frowned. She put both hands on the dash and leaned down to get a good look at the small communications device that lit up the face of her girlfriend—at least, she supposed that’s what they were to each other at that point. “Did you call the authorities?”

  “I had no choice,” Arloa murmured.

  “And so they’ll find me as soon as I enter Raegina’s waters again?”

  Arloa frowned. “I didn’t tell them who took my ship.”

  Jerry hummed, satisfied with that answer. She would have to report it stolen otherwise her family would call her out, she supposed. Still, that put them at an impasse, Jerry not quite sure what to expect from Arloa or when the authorities would find her at that point.

  “Will you bring it back?”

  “Do you want me to?” Jerry raised an eyebrow at her. “Because with the authorities now on my tail, I’m not sure I can get her into the harbor without being caught.”

  “You’re smart, Jer. I imagine you’ll be able to come home to me.”

  Jerry’s stomach swirled with that same odd mix of emotions that she hadn’t wanted to identify yet. She needed to be able to say the words because she knew they were true, but at the same time, what would that to do her to admit it? Jerry sidestepped that conversation and started another one. “I will try to bring your damn ship home. In the meantime, do you have any updates on Blaise?”

  Arloa sighed and threaded her fingers through her hair. “The government has been in an uproar since Fudala’s body was discovered early this morning.”

  So that answered Jerry’s question—no. Arloa had no more information, or she was withholding it as a punishment for Jerry’s taking the ship without permission. She rolled her shoulders and glanced out the front window of the ship, not that she could see anything anyway, and made some adjustments to her systems based on what the sensors were telling her.

  “How are you going to take back Yarrow?”

  “That’s for me to know and you to find out. I don’t share my plans readily, especially over insecure communications.” Jerry clenched her jaw tightly. Arloa must be tired if she was making that slipup.

  “Jer.”

  “What?”

  “These communications are as secure as they get. You can’t believe my family wouldn’t put in the best of the best into our ships, and I have a direct line to them from my offices and from my home.”

  Frowning, Jerry glanced down at the small image. Perhaps Arloa was right, but then again, she would have to trust that she was telling the truth, though she had little reason to think Arloa wasn’t. Rolling her shoulders, Jerry brushed that thought to the side.

  “I suppose we can talk about whatever we want, then, can’t we?”

  “I can think of something much better to do with secure lines.” The salacious tone took Jerry by surprise.

  She nearly gasped as she looked directly into Arloa’s eyes and shook her head. “I am in the wheelhouse.”

  “So?”

  “Arloa, the answer is no, and I can’t even believe you would suggest that. There’s no privacy on a vessel like this.”

  “Do you not have your own cabin?”

  “Not currently.” Jerry frowned. It was partly why she was avoiding it, but at the same time, someone had to be in charge up here, and it was going to be her. “I’ll bring your damn ship back to you, but I expect you to call off the authorities when I do.”

  Arloa clucked her tongue. “I can’t do that. You’ll have to figure out a way to get her back to the slip without being noticed.”

  Jerry nearly growled in her frustration. That would be next to damn impossible, but she would bring the ship close enough to harbor that someone would discover it and return it to the Kauket family. “This senator—”

  “Fudala,” Arloa added.

  “Yeah, where was his body found?”

  “Near the harbor. The authorities believe someone was trying to drag it to sea and failed, or was interrupted so he was discovered instead of being wasted into the waters.”

  Jerry agreed that throwing a body into the poisoned water was the perfect way to dispose of anything someone didn’t want discovered. Fuck knew she’d done it more times than she cared to count throughout her years.

  “Seems like a smart idea,” Jerry commented before focusing back on steering the ship.

  “I suppose,” Arloa answered, seeming distracted. “Jer, what we talked about before you left—”

  “Is nothing we need to continue to talk about,” Jerry finished for her.

  “It is. I need to know where we stand.”

  Jerry frowned and refused to look directly at Arloa. She still hadn’t made up her mind on where they were together in a relationship or where they weren’t. She needed time to sort out her own feelings and what she very well thought might be a possibility. Yet she hadn’t even managed to find the words to say that to Arloa thus far, and no matter how hard she tried not to think of the damnable woman, she couldn’t stop either. It wasn’t the first time she had thought this, but it wasn’t love between them, it was obsession. And Jerry was pretty sure that the obsession went both ways.

  “I still don’t see how it’ll all work in the end,” Jerry commented, trying to slide by the fact she still wasn’t sharing what she was feeling. She could only hope Arloa would let her get away with it.

  “I’m not asking for your hand in marriage.”

  “Aren’t you though?” Jerry snapped. “If you want a relationship, that’s what you’re seeking.”

  “Hardly,” Arloa fought back. “What I want is you and whatever you’ll give me.”

  Jerry snorted laughably. “If you wanted me, then you’d take what I’m giving and not ask for more.”

  Arloa’s lips parted in surprise, and Jerry knew she’d caught her in her own web of words. They weren’t meant to be together. Jerry was no one. She’d been born under the radar, and she had positioned herself to stay there until she died. She was an unsightly creature with nothing going for her. Arloa had been born into the richest family in Raegina, a family that was quiet but made their mark on the country and the world. They were well-rounded, well-educated, and Arloa was well above Jerry’s standards. The two should have never met, and some days—well, most days—Jerry still couldn’t fathom why or how they had managed to.

  “You’re right,” Arloa stated, her voice weary as though she was ready to give up the battle she had been harping on. “But I want more from us.”

  “Then you’re the only one. I’m comfortable with what we have, and I don’t need more.”

  “No, I don’t imagine you do need much in life, do you?”

  Jerry was taken back by the bitterness she heard. Arloa was correct. She didn’t need much, and perhaps how she was thinking about this was all wrong. She didn’t need Arloa, but she certainly wanted her. Wetting her lips and her suddenly dry mouth, Jerry straightened her shoulders. “I suspect you feel the same.”

  “You’re correct about that.” Arloa sighed, the pause in the conversation elongating until it was unnerving and tense. “Please come home to me, Jer.”

  The ache in Arloa’s voice hit her right in the center of her soul, though Jerry was remiss in not admitting that. They might live very separate lives, but somehow, they had become so entwined in each other that she couldn’t imagine not seeing Arloa again. Which had been in her thoughts while she’d been marooned.

  “I’ll return your ship.”

  “That isn’t what I meant,” Arloa said sadly. “But if that’s what you can offer at this time, I suppose I’ll take it. At one point in time, I had thought you were one of the strongest women I knew. Perhaps I assessed you wrong.”

 

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