“I can’t give you want you what.” Jerry jerked back and closed her eyes. “I can’t do that.”

  “What I want is you.” Arloa’s look was steady and firm. “That’s all I want.”

  Jerry had no idea what to say. No one had ever wanted her. She was pretty damn sure her own mother hadn’t wanted her, Miriam had seen her as a useful annoyance that she’d kept around, but no one had wanted her like this, with no strings, no expectations. Jerry moved in, pressing their mouths together firmly, with a desperation that wasn’t physical for the first time. Jerry was wanted.

  When they broke apart, Arloa eyed Jerry carefully. “You need to tell me what we’re doing.”

  “I don’t know what we’re doing,” Jerry whispered.

  Arloa sighed and leaned forward to press her thumb against the sensor. “Tour the city.”

  Jerry’s heart sank. She was going to be stuck talking about this until they came to some sort of conclusion, and Jerry had nothing to give. She thought she’d made that clear. Arloa leaned into the small seat they shared and stared straight forward. Jerry was pretty sure she had lost her.

  “Captain Blaise Lotchski was seen in the Kigorlia Sea three days ago.” Arloa’s tone was void of emotion, and Jerry needed to know what happened in the last few seconds to cause the change.

  “He could be anywhere by now,” Jerry answered, still avoiding what she could of the conversation.

  “Except this is the third time he was spotted there in the last week.”

  Jerry’s heart rapped hard. “You said Captain Blaise was seen. Was he on Wench’s Dream?”

  Arloa turned slowly to look at her then, her eyes hardened. “No. He was on Yarrow.”

  The answer was there, and Jerry wanted to take it and run with it. She wanted to fly as fast as she could to find her ship and get her home, steal her back, cleanse her from that man who had taken her. Instead, she stared into Arloa’s steel-blue eyes, wanting nothing more than to wrap the small woman in her arms and drag her into her chest.

  Giving in, Jerry surged forward and pulled Arloa to her. She gave Arloa feverish kisses, sliding her hands into Arloa’s mass of curly hair and tugging when her fingers caught. Arloa whimpered, her voice reverberating straight into Jerry’s chest. In the carriage they were confined, but they were also outside of the view of the rest of the world.

  Jerry broke the kiss. “I’m no one you want to be with.”

  “You’re exactly who I want,” Arloa answered. “You always have been.”

  “I don’t fit into your life.”

  “I didn’t ask you to.” Arloa raised her gaze, her look firm and serious. “I didn’t ask you to become part of my world. I don’t want you to change, Jer. I want you to be mine.”

  Her heart raced as hope flew into her chest, but she didn’t want to give in, worried it was false, that Arloa would take it back, that living separate lives wouldn’t be what she ultimately wanted. But then again, Jerry was leaving to get her ship soon. She might not come back, and that would have to be something that they both lived with. Jerry slid down, her knees pressing into the floor of the carriage as they were taken through the heart of Raegina.

  “Will you let me?”

  “What are we doing?” Arloa whispered as if she was scared to once again voice the question that Jerry wasn’t answering.

  “I can’t guarantee you anything.” Jerry slid her hands up and down Arloa’s thighs, moving her skirts as she went, but not in a sexual manner, in a comforting one. “I’m a pirate. I live for the thrill of the conquest, and I can’t guarantee you I’ll come back.”

  “I’m not asking for you to change your life. I know who you are.” Arloa pulled her lip between her teeth as she smoothed her fingers over Jerry’s cheek and behind her neck. Leaning down, Arloa swooped in closer as panic welled in Jerry’s chest.

  “You don’t want me.”

  “I do want you. I don’t know how many other ways I can say that.” Arloa kissed her delicately before leaning back. She shifted, spreading her legs even more. “I want you against me every night I can have you. I want you to make me feel what no one else has ever accomplished. I want you to be exactly who you are because that is the person I fell in love with.”

  “Love is a myth for the rich to carry around like an anthem.”

  Arloa wrinkled her nose. “You don’t find love on the sea? I find that hard to believe. You love Yarrow.”

  “Yarrow is a ship.”

  Arloa’s eyes lit up as though she’d found an answer to a question she hadn’t asked. Jerry realized far too late the mistake she’d made. She fought so hard for Yarrow, to go get her, save her, treated her as though Yarrow was her first love, which in all likelihood, she was. But Arloa was real, warm, alive under her fingers.

  Parting Arloa’s knees, Jerry pushed up onto hers and raised up so they were more evenly matched. Arloa’s chest rose and fell, her breasts pushing against the dark brown leather of her corset, her creamy white skin unblemished, unlike Jerry’s own. Tracing fingers over the edge of the corset, Jerry’s mouth went dry, unable to form words.

  Arloa finally spoke. “I want you to make me feel what you’re scared of.”

  “What?” Jerry shook her head in confusion.

  “Make me feel, Jer.”

  It was permission to touch. Jerry understood that. Reaching forward, she unhooked the small belts on Arloa’s sides, loosening the corset as she went so it was no longer attached to the beautifully rich maroon skirts. Arloa reached behind her back and tugged on the ties. As much as Jerry wanted to feel Arloa naked against her, she knew she was unlikely to get that wish.

  Jerking the corset down, Jerry pulled out Arloa’s breasts and pressed delicate kisses all over them. Arloa slid back into the small seat as the carriage rocked while they moved throughout the city. Arloa closed her eyes and parted her lips while Jerry swirled her tongue around each perky nipple. She had wanted to touch Arloa like this since she’d been rescued. She’d wanted to let these soft touches turn into something more, into what they should be.

  Arloa hummed and reached between her legs, pressing her fingers hard against herself through her skirts. Jerry moved her hand in, taking over the pattern Arloa had started and rubbing large swipes of her thumb against Arloa’s clit. Still the question raged through her mind—could she be what Arloa wanted? She knew she could never be what Arloa needed, but to be wanted was such a strong and powerful call, one she had never experienced before.

  Jerry pressed open mouthed kisses over the leather, bending lower to kiss across the tops of Arloa’s thighs to her knees. She pushed Arloa’s skirts up, revealing inch after inch of skin. Perfect skin that had no marks. Jerry scraped her teeth lightly, waiting for Arloa to tell her what to do next, to give her a command that would push both of them over the edge.

  When Arloa said nothing, Jerry continued what she was doing, slightly confused. After another minute or two, she slowed her teasing and moved to sit next to her on the tiny bench again. Arloa cupped the side of Jerry’s face and brought their mouths together before shifting to sit in Jerry’s lap, her back pressed to Jerry’s front.

  “I want you to touch me like you touch yourself.”

  “Arloa,” Jerry murmured into the back of Arloa’s shoulder, a small protest as she pulled up Arloa’s skirts. She would do anything so long as Arloa commanded her to. “I can’t get enough of you.”

  Arloa curled her legs around the outside of Jerry’s, using her feet to hold herself in place. Jerry smoothed her hand down the front of Arloa’s undergarments, finding her clit swollen and her lower lips slick, as if she had been waiting for this moment.

  “I want you,” Arloa whispered. “I want no one but you, Jer.”

  Jerry said nothing in response, needing to keep those words in her heart and learn to trust them. She needed to know that Arloa wasn’t lying, that perhaps there was genuine love to be found between them, or at least that Arloa loved her. She slid one finger inside Arloa’s warm body, curling it upward as she started the same slow swipe with her thumb as she did before, only this time, with nothing between them.

  Arloa sighed heavily, her head dropping back onto Jerry’s shoulder. “I want you to find Blaise.”

  “Why?” Jerry asked as she continued the same pattern. “It would mean me leaving.”

  “Yes.” Arloa whimpered as her hips moved in time with Jerry’s hand. “But it would mean you finding your home again, which is something you need.”

  Jerry’s heart hammered. She loved pleasuring this woman, she loved talking with her, she loved being with her in any capacity—even if they weren’t fucking. Arloa knew what she wanted, and that was something Jerry had pegged from the beginning. Arloa was strong-willed, and she would do anything to get what she wanted with very little expectations of Jerry herself.

  “But you need me.”

  “I do.” Arloa moaned, clasping her hand around the back of Jerry’s head to hold herself in position. “But I need you to want me just as much.”

  That was it, wasn’t it? Jerry needed to know if she needed or wanted Arloa and in what capacity. They used each other for information, for doing odd jobs, but was it more than that? It had been at one point. When they’d first met, Jerry hadn’t wanted to need Arloa in that capacity. In fact, she had resisted it. Yet here she was, with her fingers deep inside this woman she couldn’t get enough of.

  “I dreamed of you on that island,” Jerry confessed. “I dreamed of what I would do to you if I saw you again.”

  “When you saw me.”

  “Yes.”

  Arloa’s breathing increased, her nipples hard little points that Jerry wished were still in her mouth. Jerry increased her speed, firmed up her swipes to heighten the friction. She needed Arloa to come apart on top of her, again and again and again.

  “I wanted to come home to you.”

  That was Arloa’s undoing. She tightened sharply, pleasure searing through her, and Jerry got to watch it all. The beautiful tightening of her face, the grip of her hands against Jerry’s wrist, her entire body at Jerry’s command. Jerry had never thought about it like that before. They both commanded. Arloa with words, as she often did in the government, and Jerry with her crew.

  Sliding her hand from Arloa, Jerry licked her fingers and savored the flavor. She sighed and pressed her forehead into the back of Arloa’s shoulder. “I want to come home to you again.”

  “Then do that, Jer. Because I’ll be here waiting.”

  Arloa slid off Jerry’s lap and hunched over as she stood awkwardly, trying to fix her skirts and corset. Jerry just sat back and watched, her own clit humming and begging for touch. She wasn’t sure she wanted to ask though. She wasn’t sure she could handle it after what they had just confessed.

  When Arloa sat next to her, offering her back, Jerry pulled the laces of the corset to tie her up again. She dropped kisses as she quickly put Arloa together again so she could return to finish out her day. As soon as she was dressed, Arloa leaned forward and told the artificial intelligence to take them to the government building. Jerry sighed and was surprised when Arloa clasped their fingers together.

  “My work is going to become busy with the senator missing.”

  “I imagine.” Jerry wanted to say that she was worried, that she didn’t want Arloa to be a victim to whoever was doing this, but she didn’t even know if Arloa was a target or if this was a one-time thing for one particular person. Also, it would be too much of a confession for Jerry’s heart to handle. “I don’t know when you’ll see me again.”

  “I realize you’re not one for making promises you can’t keep, Jer, but do promise me this.”

  Jerry looked into Arloa’s steel-blue eyes, seeing so much in them and scared to put words to those feelings.

  “When you come home, come home to me.”

  Jerry found herself nodding before she could think about it. Arloa’s lips curled up into a smile and she leaned in to kiss Jerry one more time.

  “I’ll see you when you return.”

  One last kiss, and Arloa stepped out of the carriage as it stopped in front of the government building. Jerry slipped out a full minute later, walking straight back to the harbor.

  CHAPTER 11

  Jerry stood in Calluna’s wheelhouse, readying her systems to go out for the day. She hadn’t even asked Ursula or told her what she was doing, and she figured as soon as the engines started full force, Ursula would make her way topside to see what the fuck she was doing.

  But Jerry was tired of sitting around doing nothing. Rolling her shoulders, she pushed the necessary buttons and pulled back on the throttle to reverse out of the slip. The conversation with Arloa that morning plagued her. She couldn’t get it out of her mind, not only the fact that she’d once again been taunted with information she wanted and needed to meet with Arloa in person, but the fact that someone might actually want her.

  What would have been between them if the virus hadn’t happened? Jerry doubted they’d have stayed together, but the fling they had begun then had only just started, and Jerry had been so afraid she would give Arloa the virus that she’d made the cruel decision to leave her the hell alone.

  Azar climbed the ladder, his heavy boots echoing on the wood planks as he walked up to her. “Where are we going, Cap?”

  “To find us a damn ship,” Jerry muttered through gritted teeth. She wasn’t mad at him. She was mad at herself for not being able to adequately figure out what the hell the conversation had been earlier that day or the last time Arloa had begun it. Jerry had no idea what to say either time, but this time, she at least understood more of what Arloa was expressing.

  Still, she didn’t see how any of it would work.

  She wasn’t someone people wanted. Jerry rolled her shoulders as she gently took Calluna out into the harbor and away from the pier. She had spent the last few hours formulating a quick plan. All they had to do was go out to see, find a ship that would suit their needs, and steal it. It was going to be the best option they had. She wanted Yarrow back, and to do that, she needed a ship that could function in the way she needed it to. She could always give it back if she had to.

  “Cap?”

  “Yes?” Jerry faced Azar, worried she had missed something.

  His gaze on her was quiet and serene, as if he could read the inner turmoil she was going through, which she supposed he might very well be able to. He knew her well enough by that point, but it unnerved her at the same time. Jerry had prided herself for years on being a lone pirate, someone no one knew everything about—not even Miriam.

  “Where are we going?”

  “To steal us a ship, I told you that.” She wrinkled her nose, turning Calluna so they were facing the open sea and no longer dodging other ships in flight.

  Azar clicked his tongue and took up the second wheel to help Jerry maneuver out of the harbor. “So what’s the plan?”

  “Find something suitable. Steal it.”

  Azar turned and raised one bushy eyebrow in her direction. She knew she was doomed and that he had her pegged for lack of planning, which was so unlike her. She never went into anything without weighing all the possibilities and typically asking him and the others their opinions. But this time, she’d just taken control and gone with it.

  “Ursula?”

  “Belowdecks, I suppose.” Jerry looked out the front window, staring at the sea. It felt so good to back on the waters, flying above them, ready for something other than sitting in port and doing absolutely nothing. She couldn’t fathom how she’d managed the last weeks without it, honestly. The sea had been her life for so long that she couldn’t live without it.

  Yafe and Sacha joined them next, leaning against the dash to look out. They each had wide eyes as they kept their silence, and Jerry suspected it was the same for them. They lived by the ocean, waters they could never touch, but waters that gave them so much life, love, and passion. Finally, as soon as they were well out of the harbor, Yafe stepped back and said, “It’s about time, Cap.”

  “What is?” Jerry fired back.

  “You taking control of her.”

  Jerry shook her head. “That’s not what I’m doing. I’m going to get Yarrow back.”

  “Someone needs to be here,” Yafe murmured, always willing to say more than Azar would when it came to the interpersonal relationships of the crews. “Ursula needs the help.”

  “I need help?”

  They all shifted to look over their shoulders or spin around, finding the redhead glaring at them.

  “Were you going to tell me you were stealing my ship?”

  “She’s mine,” Jerry responded, straightening her back and looking Ursula up and down. “And from what I’ve seen of you lately, you’re not fit to be her captain.”

  Ursula snorted. “You don’t know what it’s been like this past month.”

  “I know you haven’t tried.” Jerry crossed her arms. She was vying for a fight, and she was going to bring herself right into one, whether it was with Ursula or a ship she wanted to steal. She needed to release the emotions pent up from the conversation with Arloa. She needed to do something.

  “That’s shit,” Urulsa spat, coming in closer.

  “Captain?” Azar’s voice echoed through the wheelhouse.

  “Yes?” Both Jerry and Ursula responded at the same time.

  Azar looked at them both but focused on Jerry. “There’s a ship coming in.”

  “Perfect. One we want?” Jerry was already walking toward the dash to read through the sensors they had even before he answered. Her mind was now completely focused on what they were there for and not on Ursula and her problems.

  “Looks like it, Cap.”

  The nickname had a bit of force to it this time, and Jerry could tell he was as annoyed with Ursula as she was. But while she didn’t have a ship to run herself, and she owned Calluna, it was her prerogative to do whatever she wanted with the vessel they were on.

  Jerry sped Calluna up, pushing her to the max so they could head off the incoming vessel. They were still in Raegina’s waters, and she would much prefer to be out of them before trying to steal a ship, but she would have to take the chance the authorities wouldn’t find them. They were in completely open water, with no islands or shore to drive them up on.

 

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