Wedding Cake Carnage, page 4
part #11 of Murder in the Mix Series
An ethereal glow illuminates the hall that leads to the grand room and I lead Noah in that direction. That glow is usually indicative of a supernatural presence, but instead of finding Greer Giles’ smiling face or Winslow Decker’s happy-to-see me countenance, I find a young girl with long dark hair covering her face, dressed in a throwback pinafore, dirty scraped knees, scuffed Mary Jane slippers—and is that a bloody knife dangling from her hand?
Something between a scream and a gasp escapes me. “Holy stars!” I howl as I bury my face in Noah’s chest once again.
“What is it, Lot?” I can feel his heart begin to hammer under my cheek. “Is it the tiger again?”
“I wish!” I hiss as I summon the bravery to glance back, only to find Greer and Winslow tending to the child. Greer does her best to comb the girl’s hair back while the child is busy trying to decapitate Greer as a thank you. “Greer!” I hustle Noah over with me, securing my hand over his so he can hear the entire conversation. A few months back, I discovered that I act as a conduit, and that if someone holds my hand, they can hear the dead, too. “What in heaven’s name is going on over here?” I jump out of the way as the girl wildly brandishes the machete she’s taken a serious liking to.
“Now, now.” Greer licks her fingers and slicks the girl’s hair away from her face, and I gasp at the sight of her. She’s gorgeous. A beautiful button nose, sparkling rainbow-colored eyes, and perfect bowtie lips. She looks practically harmless now that Greer has tamed her mane. The girl stomps forward and growls out a roar that can rival any tiger on earth or in heaven.
“Geez.” Noah jumps back, his hand disconnecting briefly from mine. “What the heck was that? Is that the lion?”
“Tiger. And no, it wasn’t him. It’s a little girl.” I bend over, hoping not to startle the tiny poltergeist bent on being a menace. “What’s your name, sweetie? And why aren’t you in paradise?”
The little girl spikes the knife into the floor between my feet as if it were a javelin.
Winslow chortles as if it were adorable. “Just the way I taught her. We’ve been practicing out back all morning.”
Greer takes up the little girl’s hand and the little girl scowls ten times harder. “Her name is Azalea. Isn’t that beautiful?”
“Lea,” she snips back. “Nobody dares call me Azalea.”
Noah takes a breath. I can tell this is freaking him out about as much as it’s freaking me out, and I should be used to all the freak-freakery that the other side can muster by now.
“Lea,” I say. “That is beautiful. My name is Carlotta, and nobody dares call me anything but Lottie.”
Lea’s eyes grow wide. “Or else?” She looks almost amused by my proclamation.
“Or else,” I mimic while slashing my throat with my finger. “So are you new to Honey Hollow?”
“Oh heavens no,” she replies, sounding a bit more chipper and looking decidedly less deadlier than a few minutes ago. “My family was slaughtered right here over this very bed and breakfast. I’ve been hiding out, lying in wait, ready and willing to avenge their blood.”
Lovely.
I bite down hard over my lower lip. So it turns out the B&B was haunted, after all.
“Well…I think…that’s perfect, because rumor has it, Greer and Winslow here are looking to adopt. I think the three of you make a fine looking family.” If your last name is Manson.
The little girl lets out another roar, albeit far more tamed. “I don’t want to be de-dopted! I want to scare people and make them run screaming into the night. And none of these residents at this ridiculous inn are afraid of anything.” She snaps her neck in Greer and Winslow’s direction. “Don’t you dare call yourselves ghosts. You’re nothing but balls of worthless air! I can’t stand either of you!” She stomps off and the floor rattles in her wake as she disappears right through the living room wall.
“Wow,” I muse. “It looks like you’ve bypassed the toddler years and dove straight into preteens. Good luck with that. Noah and I are having dinner with my new family. Feel free to cause an electrical short that will send us running for Nash-free pastures.”
“Lottie.” Greer makes a face. Both Greer and Winslow were present when Carlotta dunked the news over my head like a platter of cold spaghetti. “They were kind enough to arrive early and they’re patiently waiting for you. Your brother is a hottie, by the way. And I happened to once know both Kelleth and Aspen.” Her lips curve with malicious intent. “I dare you to ask Aspen about her time at the Elite Entourage. If I’m right, she still serves her wares to men with fat wallets.”
“What?” both Noah and I say at the very same time.
“Greer, the Elite Entourage is a glorified prostitution ring. I’m not asking my new sister if she turns tricks on the side.”
In all honesty, it was Greer who used to turn tricks on the side, and that’s exactly what landed her in this ghostly predicament to begin with. Just the thought of Aspen putting herself in the same line of danger makes me shiver.
Noah leans in. “Any news on that tiger?”
I asked Carlotta to give Greer the heads-up.
“None,” she says. “But as soon he shows up, I’ll be the first to let you know. I’m dying to see him. Lord knows I love me a sexy cat.” She lifts her shoulders in turn and Winston howls with laughter.
“Great.” I’m about to take Noah and head for the dining room when a thought hits me. “Oh, and one more thing—you’re both officially recruited to help find Everett.”
Winslow inches back and his mouth opens, but I cut him off before he can protest.
“I don’t care about the laws you’re bound to. There’s a missing man in this world and he belongs to me. You will help me track him down, you will walk through walls, through concrete, through continents if need be to help me get him back.”
“Lottie.” Greer looks affronted. “You realize we have a higher authority to answer to.”
“And you realize I can have this B&B haunted by a very scary little girl who happens to wield a machete. I’m sorry to force your hand, but time is ticking and I’m terrified that if any more of it slips by, Everett will be the next to join you on your haunting spree.”
A flicker of light catches my eye from down the hall and I spot Lea hiding behind a wall curling her finger for me to head her way.
“Excuse me a moment.” I trot over, inadvertently leaving Noah behind as well.
“I heard you.” Her nose twitches as if I let an offensive odor fly. “Call off those ninnies. They have no intention on looking for anyone outside of this B&B. I can see it in their lying souls. I’ll do it for you. And I’ll produce results.”
“You will?” I tip my head her way, filled with suspicion.
“That’s right. And in exchange you’ll make sure I’m put in charge of this haunted hovel. Greedy and I Move so Slow will be given an eviction notice as my payment. I don’t want them here cramping my spooky style. I’m taking over the haunting of the B&B. You know what they say—one is deadly. Three’s a crowd.”
“Do you really think you can bring back Everett?”
Her eyes squint as she presses out the hint of a naughty smile. “I’ll bring back anyone you want me to.”
“You’ve got a deal.”
I trot back and wave to Greer and Winslow. “Never mind,” I say and Noah and I head in the opposite direction.
“What happened, Lot?”
“That little spook just assured me she’d bring Everett back home to me where he belongs.”
“That’s up for debate—the back to your home where he belongs part,” Noah mutters as we head over to the dining room.
The chafing dishes are lined up like silver orbs over the granite counter in the back. Bodies mill around, each with a drink in hand, while laughter abounds throughout the room.
“See that?” I give Noah’s hand a quick tug. “They’re all having a great time. They don’t need us. Let’s go to Mangias.” I try to make a run for the door, but Noah reels me back.
“You’ve come this far, Lottie. I promise it’ll be quick.”
My lips press tight to keep from laughing. “I do believe you said those exact same words just before you frosted my cookies, detective.”
A warm laugh pumps through him. “There was nothing quick about that night.” His lids hood with the memory. “If you need a refresher, I’m up for it. Name the time and the place and I’m there.”
“Noah.” I close my eyes a moment. “If I said yes, would you get me out of there?” I cringe as Everett comes to mind. “Okay, fine,” I say, cinching my grip over his hand as I stride us into the dining room as if we wanted to be there.
“You almost had me,” he says. “In fact, why don’t we go now?”
“Very funny.”
The Nashes are here looking exquisitely expensive in their designer clothes. Their expensive perfume adds pretentiousness to the air, and for a brief second I wish I had taken Noah up on his offer.
Here goes nothing.
Chapter 4
“Lottie!” my mother screams with delight as she heads this way with Mayor Nash in tow. The entire room stills, and it’s all eyes on me.
The dining room of the B&B has been transformed to look like the interior of an expensive restaurant with a white linen cloth covering the elongated table. Bouquets of spring flowers are strewn across the runner, and there are dozens of tapered candles set in my mother’s finest crystal candlestick holders.
“Here she is, everyone! The woman of the hour!” My mother waves us deeper into the room. “And along with her is the handsome Detective Fox. It’s a pleasure to have you both. Lottie, please, come, come. Everyone is so anxious to get to know you better.”
I do a quick scan of all the familiar faces. Mayor Nash, of course, is front and center. He’s tall and barrel-chested, has caramel-colored wavy hair, and a perpetual grin that I regard more as a political ploy.
His daughters, Kelleth and Aspen, are here, both blondes, both with permanent scowls and turned-up noses because they think they’re better than everyone else. For sure they think they’re better than me. They have for years.
Chrissy, Mayor Nash’s ex-wife, waves from the back, and next to her is their son, Finn. He’s tall and shares my same light brown hair and is relatively handsome in a conventional way. I don’t know him that well, but what I remember of him he seemed kind and down-to-earth.
I don’t suspect any of my new relatives share my supersensual standing, seeing that it stems from Carlotta, but nonetheless I’m spooked.
Mayor Nash steps forward, lumbering, a little stiff as if he were uncertain about what he was getting into. “Lottie Lemon, let me be the first to welcome you to the family.”
Even though he was standing right next to me that day when I found out about my paternity, I took off rather quickly with Noah and got straight to the business of looking for Everett. And I’ve masterfully evaded him ever since.
“Thank you,” I say as I shift my gaze to Kelleth and Aspen. “I look forward to getting to know all of you better.”
Finn bounds over with open arms. “I got to get a hug from my new baby sister.” He offers a warm embrace. He holds the scent of fresh pine needles and warm spices, and I like him a lot already. “I heard you have a bakery.” He’s beaming from ear to ear with a friendly grin, and I can’t help but grin right back.
“Yes, and you’re all welcome to stop by anytime.”
Finn pats his belly. “You’re officially my favorite sister, Lottie.”
We share a warm laugh as my mother ushers us to the buffet and we quickly take our seats. Aspen openly ogles me as she chews her food.
“I hear you’re quite the detective.” She hikes a heavily penciled-in brow. Aspen has exaggeratingly large eyes and lips. There’s a Betty Boop appeal to her, if Betty Boop were a snobby preppy—and perhaps a prostitute, too.
“That she is.” Noah lifts his glass as if he were ready to make a toast to me. “Lottie has helped the Ashford Sheriff’s Department on many occasions.”
“Interesting,” Kelleth muses. Kelleth has always had a habit of overdoing the blush, the eye shadow, and the layers and layers of lip-gloss. And sadly, that superficial layer is about all I know of her. “Daddy says your boyfriend is missing. It’s nice to see you’ve recovered so quickly.” She winks over at Noah.
“Actually, Noah and I are—”
“Just friends!” a high-pitched female voice shrills from behind as Cormack lands on the other side of Noah as subtle as a hurricane. “Cormack Featherby, soon-to-be Fox.” She flashes the engagement ring she swiped from Noah. I spot Britney striding in a bit cooler than her counterpart.
“I’m Noah’s wife, Britney,” she says as she makes her way to the buffet, and I can’t help but notice Finn just did a double take.
Hey? Maybe Finn and Britney will fall madly in love and that will finally put a nail in Noah’s marital casket? Now there’s a cheery thought. Noah has been emotionally out of the marriage ever since she cheated on him years ago.
“Featherby?” Aspen gawks. “You’re not related to Landon by chance?”
“That’s my baby sister.”
“And one of my closest friends!”
Great. Cormack and my new sisters are getting along just fine. I can’t help but note my own sisters—the originals—are no-shows to this unwanted family reunion.
“So, Lottie”—Finn leans in—“what happened to this judge you were seeing? One minute he’s fine, and the next he disappears into thin air?”
Noah rattles off all the details as quickly as he can, and I’m thankful for it. If I start in on Everett, I might just lose it. This entire night is proving to be emotionally exhausting.
Mom jumps in her seat. “Oh, Lottie! Tell them about the latest body you found.”
Kelleth’s mouth rounds out in horror. “Latest?”
I suck in a quick breath just as Lainey and Meg stroll in.
“What did we miss?” Meg shouts as she and Lainey head for the buffet.
Mom nods her way. “Lottie was just about to tell them about the corpse she found.”
Lainey whimpers into her shoulder and I want to drop into a hole. Poor Lainey shouldn’t be here. She shouldn’t be anywhere near me.
Meg rocks back on her heels. “Lottie finds a stiff about once a month. So all of you new siblings had better watch your back.” She gives a cheeky wink, but no one seems all that amused.
In fact, Kelleth looks as if she’s hyperventilating and Aspen is searching for the nearest exit.
“I’m not a killer,” I say in the event they took a mental leap and went there. “In fact, I often bring killers to justice.”
“Every single time.” Noah is back to toasting me again.
Kelleth looks to her father. “Daddy, we’ve just been threatened. I no longer feel safe in her presence. You said so yourself. She’s a magnet for trouble just like her mother.”
Both Mom and I suck in a sharp breath.
“I meant Carlotta.” Mayor Nash tosses up his hands.
Chrissy groans. “Oh, Harry. You always were an expert at putting your foot in your mouth.”
“Nobody calls either of my mothers trouble,” I howl. Without thinking, I pick up my water and splash it in his face. The room goes silent, save for a fearful roar, and something quickens me to turn back to the entry of the room, only to find that behemoth white tiger making his ghostly appearance. He slinks on in and hops onto the table in one lithe move, trotting across the surface, causing the dishes to rattle, glasses to topple over—and, oh my God—utter chaos breaks out.
Kelleth and Aspen grab their purses and run screaming for the door.
“She’s a witch, Daddy!” Kelleth screams from the other side of the room. “Get out while you can. We’ve angered her—and now all of Honey Hollow is quaking!”
Mayor Nash wipes his face down and offers an amicable smile my way. “I believe that was uncalled for—on my part. I owe you and both of your mothers an apology.” He stands and my mother does her best to mop up the water beading down his suit.
“Oh, Harry, I’m so sorry,” she pants as she does her best to clean him up.
“Don’t apologize, Mother. Carlotta told me all about how he’s berated her the entire time she’s been back in town.” I lean in hard his way. “How dare you imply she amounted to a loser. I did the math, and you were married to Chrissy when you conceived me!”
Kelleth and Aspen gasp from the door.
Mom shoots me with her crazy eyes. “That’s enough, Lottie.”
“Oh, it is enough.” This dinner is enough. I glance to the tiger, who paused long enough to look my way as if taking in the scene. His lips curl up on the sides as he dismounts from the table, causing the back end to lift a good foot.
More screams ensue, and just about everyone is headed for the door.
“We’ll get in touch soon,” Mayor Nash says as he bolts for the exit.
Chrissy comes over and offers me a hug. “You are and will always be a very special girl, Lottie. You know I’ve loved you as if you were one of my own for as long as I’ve known your mother. We’re family, and I’m on your side.”
“Thank you for coming. You didn’t have to do that.”
“Not a problem.” She waves to us all on her way out. “Lainey, I’m excited for the wedding!”
Lainey moans. “Wish I could say the same,” she mutters.
Finn comes over and holds his arms out once again, this time with a little less conviction, but I hug him nonetheless.
“We’ll do it again. This Saturday, Honey Lake. Take two will be miles better.”
