Cross My Candy Heart, page 7
This time, it was Justin who refused to turn as Adam’s chair squeaked and rolled away.
“I don’t hate you.”
It wasn’t exactly the confession of Justin’s dreams, but it was more than he could’ve hoped for. He hit the button and stood before Adam, trying his best to contain his trembling until it was barely noticeable. “Since when?”
“I never have. Listen, I—”
The music started, soft and melancholy instead of the cheesy 1980s saxophone included in the package. Justin began to sway to the music, eschewing the bump and grind also included in the package. He didn’t care anymore what this client wanted. He only cared about what Adam wanted, and he knew it wasn’t a sleazy telegram.
Adam never looked away, following Justin’s every move with complete focus.
He could do this. Tell Adam how he felt through the safety of a song, and then walk away forever. “After you’ve gone and left me crying—”
Anguish twisted Adam’s features and he took a step closer. “Justin.”
He had to swallow back a knot in his throat to continue. “After you’ve gone, there’s no denying—”
With a loud, uncompromising click, Adam shut off the boom box. When he stood, backlit by the bright hallway lights blaring through the blinded window, they were less than a foot away. “That’s enough now. It’s my turn to talk.”
Nerves skittered across Justin’s stomach on tiny claws. Without the music, he’d have to find his own words. He wasn’t ready for that. It increased his chances of messing up—again. “I should finish the song.”
Adam shoved the boombox back against the wall with his foot, never breaking his concentration on Justin’s face. “You said your piece. Now I’ll say mine.”
It was the least Justin could do to sit back and take whatever was coming to him. He braced himself for shouting, tensed against the memory of prior breakups and boyfriends tearing him down. “Yeah, okay. Alright, Adam, I’m all yours.”
Adam turned his face to the ceiling and let out a quiet, frustrated growl from behind bared teeth, and then he returned his attention to Justin with a wild-eyed edge, his arms flung out wide. “Don’t play with me like that. Not when you’re dressed like fucking Adonis or whatever. With your golden curls and perfect little body out on display. Men have started wars over less.”
He gestured emphatically at Justin’s scrawny body in his cheap costume as if that should be self-explanatory.
Justin lifted his shoulder to show his useless foam quiver. “You’re thinking of Eros, but I’m supposed to be Cupid, actually. That’s the label on the costume. They ordered the Kiss Me Cupid package. I need to ask Paula who’s naming these because they’re all atrocious.” He hesitated before gathering up his courage to take a single step closer. “And I meant what I said exactly as I said it. I’m all yours, Adam. If you want me.”
Pulse pounding, he waited as Adam extended a hand to trace the edge of his sash. “I want—”
The door was flung open with the flash of a camera behind them, and Justin spun in place, caught between Adam and the intruder. It was the creep with the blond hair, an instant print digital camera held in front of his face as he stood in the doorway.
Justin’s blood ran cold as he recognized the knobby fingers and the exact dimensions of the guy’s silhouette. It couldn’t be. The man those things brought to mind had long brown hair and was likely halfway across the country by now. Justin had terrible luck, but the universe wouldn’t do this to him, surely.
The guy lowered the camera with a frown, and it turned out that the universe actually must have it out for Justin in particular. Whatever he’d done wrong in a past life, it was personal.
“Gary?” Adam’s confusion sent his voice up an octave over Justin’s head. “Didn’t you get fired, like, a week ago?”
Gary ignored him, scowling at the printed photo. He stabbed the camera in Justin’s direction without turning his attention away from the photo. “Hey, telegram whore, aren’t you supposed to be in his lap? I paid good money for this!”
The familiar, nasal tone of his voice made Justin’s knees turn to water. It was only the warm, solid presence of Adam at his back, shouting that Gary needed to watch his mouth, that kept him from running down the hall and never looking back.
“Hello, Garrison,” Justin said.
The vacant, unconcerned surprise on Gary’s face would’ve been insulting if Justin had even an iota of feeling left for him. Evidently, he didn’t. Gary dropped the photo on the floor and finally gave them his full attention.
“Oh, it’s you. Jason, right?” He pursed his lips as he examined Justin from head to toe, making him feel horribly exposed. “Looks like you’ve kept up with that tight body, at least, but I thought I told you to do something about the hair. You still bring to mind a toy poodle.”
He resisted the reflex to touch his hair, even as his angry flush returned. “It’s Justin. You never could remember, and you lived with me for three months.”
Adam made an odd sound behind him, and Justin reached back to squeeze his arm, just once. He wasn’t sure how it’d be received, but some of the tension eased from the muscles in his grasp when he left his hand in place.
Gary shrugged and raised the camera once more. “It’s a forgettable name. Go do your job and dance for my dollar. I’ve got a score to settle here.”
He’d remembered Justin’s name just fine when it had come to draining his bank account dry. Long-suppressed rage boiled away the ice in Justin’s veins until his fear gave way to anger. He wondered how far he could shove that camera down Gary’s throat.
“What do you mean, three months? What’s going on?” Adam pulled Justin back until he stood flush against him, his body heat only fueling Justin’s fire.
Justin half turned to pat Adam’s chest and then gestured at Gary as if he was an unwelcome deposit left by a neighborhood dog. “Adam, meet my ex, Garrison. Garrison, meet my ex, Adam.”
That was it; Justin was never going outside again. This didn’t happen to people who crawled in a hole and stayed there forever. At the moment, that seemed like a solid plan.
Astoundingly, Gary gawked as if he was the offended party in all of this. “Your ex? You slept with Lurch? Wow, your standards really dropped after I dumped your whiny ass.”
Justin stilled Adam’s jerk forward with a firm palm and then took an extra step to place himself solidly between the best and worst things to ever happen to him. “Don’t call him that.”
Gary scoffed and rolled his eyes, and Justin wasn’t a violent man, but he was beginning to think he could be convinced to try. He reached out and flicked Gary’s lapel.
“I think you’re jealous. You’re obviously obsessed with him. You sent four romantic telegrams, and I know exactly how much those cost.”
“It’s cute that you think I’m paying for these with my own money.” Gary showed off his bright white shark teeth in a wide, smug grin that dropped Justin into another place and time entirely.
Fear rose up alongside his anger as a hundred awful possibilities danced in his head. “I closed all my accounts after you cleared them out and maxed out my limits. There’s nothing left for you to take.”
Adam’s hand spanned the width of Justin’s bare waist as he pulled him aside and shouldered past. “After he did what? Did this asshole steal from you?”
If he had anything, Gary had audacity. He blithely ignored the mountain of quiet rage between them and craned his neck to snipe at Justin. “Do you really think you’re the only sad little twink I had panting after me, desperate to be loved? No one forced you to give me access to your accounts. Losing them was annoying, but I have backups. I’ve got cards under a dozen names, while you ended up charging guys like this by the hour.”
Garrison had told him it was an emergency, that his own accounts had been frozen over a misunderstanding, and he had to fly to his grandmother’s funeral. Justin had handed over his wallet without a second thought.
When he’d come back a week later, and Justin confronted him over the charges, Garrison had set Justin’s diploma on fire and tossed it on the couch. Justin had been so busy trying to put it out he’d missed Garrison packing up his stuff, along with some of Justin’s, and taking off, never to be seen again. Until now.
He’d been just around the corner, the entire time, never giving Justin a second thought while Justin struggled to piece his life back together. Despite his best efforts, his eyes burned. He fisted Adam’s shirt and pressed his face into the cotton, wishing for nothing more than to disappear.
Adam reached back to hold him close, his rib cage rumbling against Justin’s face as he took on a low, menacing tone. “Get out.”
Unused to being at a disadvantage, Gary ignored the danger signs and flailed like a toddler denied a toy. “You framed me, you son of a bitch!”
Justin was gently guided backward into Adam’s chair, and then he blinked, and Adam was across the room with Gary’s shirt in his fist.
“I discovered you’d been falsifying your reports,” Adam growled. “You framed yourself, Gary. You should’ve left the first time I asked. I’m done asking now.”
You’d think being lifted off the floor by a man twice his size might add a drop of humility, but Gary didn’t seem to notice. He snapped another photo, with the flash right in Adam’s face.
“Look at poor Lurch, so desperate he’s ready to fight over a cheap piece of ass in gold polyester. Once corporate sees these photos, they’ll have you on the chopping block for wasting company time.”
Adam drew back his fist, and the first hint of trepidation crossed Gary’s expression as he began to struggle. Adam acted as if he was no more trouble to hold than a rat he’d caught by the scruff. “Apologize.”
The toes of Gary’s designer shoes scrabbled against the carpet, scuffing up the polish he’d always been so protective of. “For what, defending myself against your unfounded accusations?”
The steel beams holding up the building had nothing on the tensed muscles in Adam’s back. He held completely still as Gary struggled and squirmed. If Justin hadn’t been in love with him before, he’d have no choice but to fall after this. Adam ignored the scandalized whispers of the crowd peeking through the open door as he raised Gary another inch off the floor.
“Apologize to him, or I’ll make your apologies for you.”
Justin wasn’t sure exactly what that meant, but it sounded sufficiently ominous that Gary went pale. He was nearly the same color as his hair when he gave Justin a dismissive glance over Adam’s shoulder.
“Alright, fine, I’m sorry he got all upset.”
Adam paused for a second, cocked his head in thought, and then let his fist fly, sending Gary crashing into the beige plastic wastebin in the corner. Shredded paper confetti exploded all around him as if in celebration.
Gary whimpered and clutched his face as blood dripped sluggishly from his nose. “But I apologized!”
“Wasn’t good enough.” Adam shrugged off his jacket and handed it to Justin, ignoring the indignant wails across the room. “Put this on. I’m walking you to your car. I don’t want you to have to spend another second here while I finish taking out the trash.”
The boom box fell with a thud as Gary scrambled up from the floor. “You broke my nose, you animal. I’m pressing charges!”
Insulated in Adam’s jacket, Justin’s courage returned on a fresh surge of anger. No one threatened Adam. He wiggled free of Adam’s quiet ushering to the door so he could point at Gary’s swiftly swelling face. “You do that. I’m sure they’d be interested in all the documentation I’ve gathered on your instances of fraud, theft, and arson.”
Adam stopped in his tracks, head on a swivel from where he was trying to clear the hallway. “Wait, arson?”
A middle-aged woman in a bright red skirt suit slid past Adam’s guard and joined Justin in pointing with her heart-themed manicured nails. “Oh, no, you won’t, you yellow bellied liar! I got the whole thing recorded, and the police are on their way. If I were you, I’d scoot outta town with my tail tucked between my legs.”
Justin didn’t know if he’d call it scooting, but Gary fled the scene at top speed, fighting his way through the jeering office crowd until he disappeared around the corner. Hopefully, never to be seen again.
“Thanks, Charlene.” Adam’s stony expression melted into relief as he gripped Justin’s sleeve to tug him into the hallway.
Charlene followed in their wake and leaned around them to shoo off curious onlookers all the way to the elevator bay. “No problem. Boss says you can head out early on account of being harassed and framed and all. HR’s gonna give you a call on Monday. Happy Valentine’s Day!”
Justin waved back at her through the closing elevator doors. Adam remained silent until they got to the parking garage. He stopped behind his car, and Justin stopped too, trying to figure out how to pick up where they’d left off.
Adam opened the passenger door and ducked his head to meet Justin’s eyes. “Come home with me.” His attention fell to Justin’s gold-laced bare legs and then shot back to his face with a wash of guilt. “Just to talk.”
If the jacket fell open and exposed him to the hip when he got into the car, it wasn’t necessarily Justin’s fault. But he was in no hurry to correct it when Adam froze as if he’d forgotten how to close a door.
Justin offered a small, hopeful smile. “I’d go anywhere with you.”
*
ADAM’S PLACE WASN’T exactly what Justin had expected. It wasn’t even an apartment. It was a whole house. A mid-century ranch, with all modern features done in shades of black and white. He lived on a quiet cul-de-sac lined with rose bushes.
Visions of Adam in a wide brimmed straw hat and gardening gloves, pruning his roses, made Justin smile as he took in the space. True to Adam’s word, there was little more to the living room than a leather couch, large screen TV with multiple gaming consoles, and a concrete block shelf off to the side.
He removed Adam’s jacket and hung it on the hook, comfortable in the cozy heated space. The sandals took some finesse to unlace, but Justin was happy to be free of the constricting straps once they were gone. There was something sweet about seeing them next to Adam’s much larger shoes on the boot tray.
Adam stood near the couch and watched him as if he wasn’t sure whether he was real. He spoke quietly when Justin approached. “Cupid’s the god of love?”
They’d never been truly alone together, before, with a door locked against the rest of the world. Justin’s pulse didn’t seem to get the memo that they were meant to be talking and nothing more. He stopped an arm’s length away and debated whether to remove his sash. He’d left his quiver in the car and, somehow, being entirely topless felt like a step too far. He fiddled with the edge of the fabric and answered as quietly as he’d been asked.
“Desire.”
The tip of Adam’s finger touched the border of Justin’s sash before he rolled it into a fist and dropped his hand to his side. “Sounds about right.”
He couldn’t stand it. Had Adam brought him back here to mend his heart or to finish the job and smash it all to pieces? Justin knew what he wanted, but he also knew what he deserved. He bit his lip against a rush of useless words, but they flooded past anyway. “Adam, I really am very sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”
Adam nodded, contemplating the floor before he lifted sweet, earnest eyes to catch and hold Justin as surely as any length of rope. “I got a short fuse and maybe a bit of a complex about being made fun of. I shouldn’t have blown my top when you opened up to me. I’m sorry about that. Truth be told, I never even started to get over you. Not sure I ever could. Don’t want to anymore.”
Hope was a small, flickering light in Justin’s chest. He couldn’t have looked away even if it would clear all his debts. “Adam.”
“I’m still in this, if you’ll have me. Can’t think of anything else but you, honey.” Adam waited, patient and still as Justin processed those words over and over until he finally started to believe them.
“‘If I’ll have you’? You’re all I want, Adam.”
A smile spread across Adam’s face like hot sugar candy poured on a marble slab, slow and sweet. His hands relaxed out of fists as he edged closer. “Anyone ever tell you how beautiful you are?”
All this time, and Justin had been waiting on the lines and lies that never came. He was slightly disappointed that Adam would tell even a harmless lie now. He grabbed onto his sash with a hollow laugh. “You mean sexy. Or cute. You don’t need to butter me up. I promise you’ve got me in the palm of your hand already.”
Thoughts of all the parts of him that could fit in the palm of Adam’s hand spread like a fire in his blood until he had to swallow back a humiliating rush of saliva.
Adam shook his head, waves of dark hair brushing the sharp crest of his cheeks in just the spot Justin wanted to kiss him awake every morning until the end of time. “No, I mean beautiful. Or, well, you’re all those things too, but you’re so beautiful it’s been keeping me awake at night, waiting until I can walk into that little coffee shop and catch a glimpse of you. Always feels like I’ve been waiting all night for the sun to come up. And then there you are, so beautiful you light up the sky.”
It wasn’t a line. It could’ve been, would’ve been, from anybody else. But Adam said it as if it were fact. As if it was as simple as that.
Maybe, for him, it was.
The seam on his sash popped a thread as Justin twisted it between his hands, breathless with wonder. “Shit. What am I supposed to say to that?”
“I dunno. I just wanted you to hear it.” Adam shrugged, unconcerned that he’d just rewritten the definition of romance right before Justin’s eyes. Forget card tricks; this was true magic.
Justin didn’t have any magic to offer in return, so he stuck with the truth. “You’re beautiful too.”
Adam ducked his head and backed away, old wounds coming out in the open with every step. “Come on. Don’t—”
It was easy to catch his hand before he could wave the thought away. Simple to bring it up to Justin’s mouth. Spectacular to brush his lips across the knuckles in the barest sketch of the kisses he intended to leave over every inch of him.
