Make Her Bleed (Bound By Blood Book 1), page 18
The others left a while ago, having to leave for various reasons, but not Rowe. He hasn't moved at all.
"Why? So I can look in your eyes while you tell me I deserve to be raped … again?"
Why would I want to look at him after what he said and how he questioned me and refused to believe me until he saw the video proof of my innocence?
Yet, I want to. I want to look at him, kiss him, forgive him, but I can't. He hurt me so bad and he hit me when I was already down.
"I'm so, so sorry. If I could take back what I said—"
"That's the problem, isn't it?" My voice cracks. "You can't take it back. Once words leave your lips, you can't swallow them back down. They can't be unheard or unspoken. It's bad enough that you didn't believe me and accused me of plotting against you—"
"Aria—" he interrupts me but I don’t acknowledge him at all.
"Yeah, accusing me of plotting against you hurt but not as much as those words you spoke. He'd just hurt me—you saw what he did in the video—and you said I deserved it. No one ever deserves to be raped, to be forced. I've never felt so low, so broken, or so ready to die as I did when you said that to me. I trusted you. I confronted him for you. I went into his office … for you," I conclude as tears race down my face, and I finally look up into his emotional blue eyes.
Rowe kneels in front of me and takes my hands in his, pleading. "I don't know what you want me to say. I fucked up. I'm so used to people wanting one thing or another out of me, expecting something, using me for some end goal. I jumped to the wrong conclusion, but that's no excuse. I shouldn't have said what I did. There is no reason that could ever be good enough.
"I heard what you said in the video, Aria. You said you love me."
I force my gaze away from his, refusing to look at him. "Don't—"
"I love you, Aria. I love you so much. You're … everything. I know you're mad and hurt, but I'm begging you. Don't send me away. Don't shut me out, please." He's so scared and vulnerable as he stares at me, close to tears. I've never seen him so raw, so on edge.
He's always so strong, an unstoppable force, yet the fear in his eyes shows he's not strong right now. He's on his knees before me, beseeching for my forgiveness.
He's never been like this before.
I slip down to the floor in front of him on my knees, mimicking his stance, and I watch as the tears fall down his face.
This isn't acting. This is real, true exposed sensitivities.
I reach up and slowly wipe away his tears that flow like a stream down his face.
I've always thought he was a lot like Kai, strong, determined, unbreakable, but Kai would never be this open. He doesn't have the heart for it.
Rowe's heart is true though. He doesn't wear it on his shoulders for everyone, but he's showing it to me.
I lean into him and wrap my arms around him, feeling a deep breath of relief fall from his lips, before he hesitates to touch my back.
Burying my face in his chest, I engulf his scent like a security blanket. The stress ticks away like the seconds on the clock, steady and progressing.
"Stay," I whisper softly.
Is he hurting? Does he need to go home to his mom? So many questions swirl around in my brain, but I want to be selfish. I don't want to sleep alone tonight.
His fingers trail along my jaw before running into my hair. "I'm here whenever you need me, darling. I'll never leave you."
I nod.
We get up off the floor and get undressed for bed. I slip under the covers and wait for Rowe to join me.
For a moment, I wonder if Kai is going to bust in here and torture me for breaking his precious rules.
He never said I had to sleep alone in this bed. Now the touching and kissing involved, that is definitely against his rules.
Rowe climbs into bed and I crawl over to him, falling into his warm arms.
"Am I hurting you?" I ask softly.
His fingers gingerly run along my curves in a mindless pattern in the dark, silent atmosphere. "Doesn't matter," he mutters before kissing the top of my head.
"Yes, it does. I don't want to put pressure on your injuries."
There's a minute of silence and I wonder what he's thinking, if he's just relaxing.
Then, he speaks. "I'm okay as long as you're here."
He's so sweet. My heart flutters as I run my fingers up his chest, gentle, slow, and intentional in my movements. I find his neck and make my way up to his hair.
"Come here. Kiss me," I beg, feeling myself becoming emotional.
The bed shifts and the sheets move, tightening and loosening beneath me, as Rowe turns and touches my face.
"You're so beautiful."
The light from under the bathroom door illuminates his face and I catch the twinkle of tears on his face as he leans over me.
"I love you," I muse as I pull him down to me and take his lips with mine.
Tears fall down my face as he takes me in the sweetest, most vulnerable way possible … with both of us crying the whole time.
I'm woken by a soft knock at my bedroom door. It makes no sense. Kai wouldn't knock and the others went home.
I don't want to wake up Rowe. He went through enough hell yesterday without insomnia being added to the mix.
I slowly move out of bed, untwisting my clothes, and walk over to the door. Slowly pulling it open, I find Kai standing there.
"What?" I groan slash whisper, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.
"Come with me," he says before walking over to the stairs.
Seriously? What time is it? I know if I refuse whatever this is it will be worse for me so I follow his instructions. I carefully close the door and trail behind Kai as he leads me down the stairs, through the kitchen, and down a hall I've never been down before.
"What are we doing down here?" I ask as he opens the last door, holding it for me.
"You'll see." He gives me a tired look but doesn't reveal anything else.
He's not angry or anything. Just … exhausted.
Maybe that's why I step into the room flooded with light. Red carpet lines the floors and the walls are painted blood red along with the ceiling. Even the lightbulbs are red.
"What the—"
I stop when the door slams behind me and I turn quickly, finding myself alone in this room the same size as a jail cell.
No chairs.
No bed.
Nothing but red walls.
I run to the door and slam my hands against the door again and again.
"Let me out! Kai!" I scream. Maybe Rowe will hear me, but I doubt it.
I should've woken him up.
The floor starts to shift, the walls shaking, and I yell for help, but then it hits me that it's not a room at all. It's a fucking elevator.
"Aria James," a robotic voice says through the room as I hyperventilate in fear. "Welcome to The Maze."
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
ARIA
The Maze? What the hell is The Maze?
"Are you ready to play a game?" The voice sounds again.
What the fuck? No, I don't want to play a game. Did I just step into the Saw dimension where I'll have to choose for someone to die in order to live or some sick and twisted shit like that?
The elevator shakes again and I scream.
"The game is simple. You make it to the end of The Maze where the only door exists before your opponent finds you and you win. If they find you first, they win."
Sounds simple enough, but I know where Kai is concerned nothing is ever simple.
"The only catch is you can't touch the walls. They're lined with knives so you can't use the wall to guide you through the dark, and yes, you'll be wandering through the dark. Your opponent will have nothing aiding them. No night vision goggles, no flashlights. You both have an equal advantage. You start at opposite ends of The Maze. Your opponent at the door and you at the elevator."
So everything is supposed to be equal? Does that mean I actually have a chance of winning this stupid game?
What happens if I don't win?
"If you win, your opponent will alleviate all rules within the house. No food restrictions. No clothing restriction. No copulation restriction. No restrictions whatsoever."
No rules? That's worth whatever the risk is. These rules are killing me.
"If your opponent wins, you will belong solely to him. The rules will intensify. If you break any rules, you won't be the one who suffers. If you break the rules, Rowe Kade will die."
No. Not Rowe.
Tears fall down my face as I sob.
"With each broken rule, another one of your admirers will die. Knox Ward. Dax Porter. Nico Mendoza. Then, your friends and family. Kaylee Stanton. Thomas Patrick. Lillian James."
Lillian James? My mom?
Then, it hits me. Kai knows where my mom is. If he can find her, he could find anyone.
"If you agree to the terms of the game, step out of the elevator and into The Maze." The elevator stops and the door flies open. "You will be given ten seconds before the lights shut off after you step inside. Each second you take is another second that gives your opponent a lead…unless you refuse to play. You won't lose by default if you refuse the terms, but the game will be open to play at any time with the same terms."
My heart pounds in my chest as I stare out the open door, revealing a stark white hall with knives sticking out of the walls.
All I have to do is beat Kai at his own game and I won't have to worry about his rules ever again.
"Are you ready to play, Aria James?"
I take a deep breath.
If I lose, my stay with Kai will be unbearable, but I have to take the risk. I won't be able to survive it the way things are now.
I take the hair tie around my wrist and knot my hair on top of my head.
"Game on, Kai."
I have ten seconds to get as far in as I can then I'll have to figure a way to out maneuver Kai.
I kick off my shoes and sprint out the door where a bell sounds.
"Aria James has entered The Maze. The game has begun."
My feet pound against the laminate floor as I sprint as far and as fast as I can, noticing The Maze is a massive spiral, getting tighter and tighter as I run.
Kai comes into view and I see the victorious smirk on his face right before the lights shut off.
I stop immediately and take a step to the side. If Kai hadn't been right there, I might've just stopped, but he knew where I was standing.
My current plan of action is to stay completely still and silent, undetectable to Kai in the dark.
"Aria," he taunts in a sing-along style voice, his tone rising. "You can't hide from me. I'm not willing to lose this game. Do you know why?"
I practically feel his breath on my neck. I hate to admit it but this game of cat and mouse is really fucking hot. My pussy weeps with desire no matter how much I fight against it.
"If I win, no one else will ever touch you again. I won't give permission for it and you won't be able to speak to the guys ever again. I'll make them stay away and you'll be all mine. You'll consent any time I want and you'll be completely mine. I will steal your heart even if I have to carve it out myself. I'll never let you go, Aria. I've been waiting for this, counting down the days, weeks, months to take you from Tom and make you mine. I'm going to plant my child in your womb and then no one will ever be able to take you from me."
Oh, my god. He's crazier than I thought. His child in my womb? I'm only seventeen. In what world would I be ready to be a mother now? None whatsoever.
Didn't he also say being a father was a mistake?
Still, I can't ask any of the questions I have. If I do, I'll reveal my location and lose the game.
I can't lose. I don't want to have his baby. I don't want to be his. I don't want to be isolated from the guys who actually care about me.
The silence drowns on and I realize he probably left so I slowly sink down close to the floor and glide my hand across the floor until it hits something rubber.
My eyes widen to saucers.
It's Kai's shoe. He's still standing right there. Instead of behind me, he's in front of me and he has no idea that I know where he is.
The darkness is my ally and it was a good idea to lose my shoes in the elevator.
I test it out, lifting my leg and moving it to the side, running my toe against the laminate floors to see if it makes a noise.
It squeaks slightly and I hear Kai move, but more of a groan.
"I know you're here, Aria. I can smell you, practically taste your cunt. Honestly, I didn't expect you to be a worthy opponent. I guarantee, if I brought anyone else I know down here, I would've found them already. You are…magnificent." I can almost hear the salivation in his tone.
I can be quiet.
I put my weight on my outstretched foot and my heart calms at how the floors don't squeak.
Thank god for that.
I'm slow and meticulous about how I move my body, the thought of the knives clear in my mind.
Don't touch the knives.
"Aria," he calls my name, his voice getting further away.
Biting my lips shut, I slowly move, but then my foot touches the side of one of the knives and a blaring alarm sounds.
What the fuck?
I try to move faster but I keep hitting the knives and more alarms sound.
Then, one of the knives cut open my foot and I cry out at the sudden shot of pain.
No. Silence was what kept me hidden.
I slam my hand over my mouth and stand up.
He already knows around abouts where I am. He'll be back soon.
I move to the middle of the hall and limp my way forward, but I keep bumping into the knives, cutting at my legs and stomach as I go. Still, I keep going, repeating the same method of getting through with the least amount of cuts on my body.
"Aria!" His voice is closer than before and I curse in thought as I rush.
I find a good method to not get cut up anymore. I use my fingers to touch the wall between the blades and limp as quickly as I can.
My leg becomes numb and my body feels cold until suddenly I'm knocked to the ground and I cry out in pain.
"I win, Aria," Kai whispers in my ear.
I sob as all my hopes and dreams come crashing to the ground.
"No, no, no!"
"Lights on!" Kai yells and the lights flicker back on as I cry my heart out.
"I want a redo," I beg.
It can't be over. I was so close. I could see the red light outlining the exit door just down the hall.
"No redoes, princess. You're all mine now."
I fight against his hold on my arms and growl at him. "It doesn't matter what you take away from me. I'd rather die than be yours. You raped me."
"So did they," he retorts, a cocky look on his face.
"You forced them to!"
"No, actually, I didn't. They had the chance to opt out, but they didn't. They raped you of their own free will," he rationalizes.
Is that true? Did Kai gives them the chance to not be a part of my torture?
"That may be true, but they didn't shove a pipe up my ass, toss me down the stairs, and blind me for over twenty-four hours."
"That was a part of C-4," he explains without a hint of remorse for what he did to me.
"You created C-4. You could've changed it, but you didn't. When you want someone to want you, you don't torture them. You love them, care for them, protect them. You have done none of that so why would I ever want you?"
He's stupid if he thinks I'll ever change my mind on this.
"Is that the logic you're going with? Well, here's the part you're leaving out. When you were run off the road, who called a doctor to make sure you weren't horribly injured? Me. Who put out the rule that no one was allowed to touch you? Me. Who brought Tom and Kaylee here to visit you even though you broke the rules? Me."
Everything he says is true. He made sure I was taken care of in his own way. He gave me connections to the outside world. He didn't hold me to the same rules while I was in the hospital. Anyone could visit me. I could eat whatever I wanted.
So what makes him different than the others?
His brutality and lack of emotion.
"Still, if you really cared, you wouldn't hurt me," I say with tears in my eyes.
He makes a thoughtful noise as he studies my face before his eyes zero in on my tears.
Then, he leans down and licks my tears from my ear up to my eye before kissing my cheek down to my ear.
"Don't worry, princess. Your pain is over except when it's combined with pleasure," he whispers in my ear before trailing his lips down my throat, his touch so gentle I don't know what to think. "You're going to have your day full of unrelenting ecstasy. You played this game so good. You've earned it."
I feel like a mouse, small and defenseless, as I sit on the couch, unable to say a single word.
Rowe emerges from my room and hurries down the stairs.
"Darling, why are you out of bed?" he asks, concerned. He hurries down the stairs when I don't answer or look at him. "Aria, talk to me," he begs.
He tries to take my hand, but I jump back, remembering Kai's new rules.
"What's the matter? Talk to me," Rowe begs.
"She can't," Kai says as he comes out of the kitchen holding two cups of coffee. He hands one to me, which I don't drink.
Kai knows I hate coffee, but the smell calms me.
"What did you do?" Rowe hisses at his father.
"Just made a bet with her and she lost. She played a good game though. Still, she can't talk to you or let you touch her, period. Or the other guys. She knows the new rules. She's going to be a good girl and follow them like she's supposed to, which makes your presence here unnecessary. We have some plans today, don't we, princess?"
I wish he'd stop calling me that.
"All I know is I'm hungry after all that running," I say with defeat clear in my voice.
I can't fight this.
If you break the rules, Rowe Kade dies.
I can't risk Rowe's life. I love him. Maybe I always will, but I hope he forgets me quickly. The last thing I want is for him to pine over me and wish we could be together.
