Binding Ties, page 5
Tears formed in my eyes, and a single stray tear escaped down my cheek. “Do you really think you could’ve kept this a secret? How would you plan to keep the press from finding out? They’re sharks, Ace. I wouldn’t force anyone to deal with them, especially my son.”
He looked up sharply. “Our son.”
“What do you want from me, Ace? An apology? I’ve given it. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I thought I was doing the right thing, but clearly it wasn’t. It’s not anything I can take back now.”
He rubbed the middle of his forehead, eyes closed. “What’s his full name?”
My voice was quiet as I told him. “Benjamin Ace Rafferty.”
I gave my son the same middle name as his father. Julian’s eyes opened and looked up at me like he was in awe of my name choice.
“What’s he like?”
My tongue slipped between my lips to wet them before I spoke again. “Well, he’s got the biggest heart. I swear he always knows more about things than he should. He can read people pretty well for only being five years old. Absolutely obsessed with anything car related. Some days I turn on cartoons in the living room. I’ll leave for five seconds, come back, and there’s some sort of racing on the television.”
Julian chuckled at that comment. “He loves Hot Wheels, just like his dad. He has this crazy thing about stars. We actually have a telescope in the house so he can look at the stars at night. He also has a major problem with playing in the dirt.”
“Ha, he’s a boy, Anna. What did you expect?”
“I don’t know, but I wouldn’t change a hair on his little head. He’s perfect. I remember the first time I saw him…” I paused before continuing, realizing that it may hurt Julian’s feelings.
He reached over and grabbed my hands. “Don’t stop, tell me. I want to know everything.”
“The first time those bright blue eyes looked up at me, my complete world changed. Life was no longer about me. It revolved around him now, and I would do anything I could to protect him from the harshness that life brings sometimes. Savannah’s husband, Hutchison, accepted Ben like he was his own and took him under his wing. He always wants to play Hot Wheels in the front yard, and, bless his heart, Hutch will do it every time he’s asked.”
His look grew sullen, and I didn’t miss the clench of his fist. “He needs his father, and I’m here now. So he won’t need to depend on Hutch anymore.” He spit the words like venom. I understood the hurt and the jealousy behind the words.
“Ace…”
“I get it, okay? It makes total sense why you did, but even if I couldn’t be home because I didn't want to bring the press with me, at least you could’ve sent me updates on him, or I could’ve sent money home to help with bills. It would’ve been nice to see pictures of him as he grew up. Something… anything… that’s all I’m asking. I want a chance to be a part of my kids' life. You shut me out, and, this time, I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying here because I want this family I didn’t know we created. I’ve always wanted kids. You knew that. Now Ben is a complete stranger to me. I’m the guy who drives fast cars instead of the guy teaching him about cars, or how to woo girls, or giving him “the talk” when he comes of age. It’s my job, Anna. Please, just let me do it.”
“Okay.”
His eyes lit up with hope. “Okay?”
I took a deep breath, we’d come this far and there was no going back. “So, what do you want to do?”
“I want to get to know him. I want to be able to spend time with him. I want him to know, Anna, that I’m his dad. I may be starting five years late, but for the rest of his life, I need him to know that I’m here for him; come hell or high water. He can count on me. And so can you. He’s not the only thing I want. I need you, Anna. Six years on the road was too long. Too many hotel rooms, too much press, too many women who threw themselves at me. I’m ready to settle down and make Silverbell our home. I’ve made enough money racing to last us a lifetime. It’ll be nice to just get back to being me; working in the auto shop like I did when I was a teenager.”
“Do me a favor?”
“Anything.”
“Go easy on me. Ben’s been mine and mine only for years. It’ll be hard to share him.”
“How about this… the first few times we hang out, we do it as a family. We could go fishing at the lake or go down to Cooper’s Beach. This house has a pool. Does he like to swim?”
I dipped my head in a yes. “Mama and Papa have a pool at their house now. They live up the road from you, actually. After they retired, they decided to live off the beach.”
“I thought I saw them up here the other day. Good for them, seriously. They deserve it.”
My stomach churned. I didn’t want to have to say it, but I knew it needed to be said. “Raising Ben is a full time job, Ace. If you’re in this, you’re in for good. You will not break that little boy’s heart after he’s waited for a father all this time.” A part of me felt like maybe I was begging him not to break my heart, too.
“Do I need to go buy a ring?” The words were spoken so seriously.
I cocked my head to the side. “Excuse me?”
He lifted his hands to cup my cheeks. “You heard me. Do I need to go buy a ring to prove to you that I’m sticking around? I need you, too, Anna. It’s not just Ben. I may have been gone for six years, but not a day went by where I wasn’t wondering what you were doing, and wondering what would have happened if I hadn’t left. We’d probably be married by now, but I know that’s rushing things.”
He sighed. “I want to date you, and, eventually, I want you to have my last name. I want parental rights to help make decisions over Ben.”
I shook my head; the girl he’d known was long gone. “I’m not the same girl I once was, Ace. I’ve grown up a lot since the last time you saw me.”
His jaw formed into a straight line. “So have I, and I’m begging you for just a chance. We don’t have to tell anyone he’s mine for a while if you don’t want to. I don’t care, just… don’t tell me no.”
Before I could think about it, he was leaning over. Soft lips brushed against my own and brought memories to life. He still kissed the same way; even if it was a tad more aggressive than sweet. I had a feeling Julian McCormick was not a gentleman in the sack anymore. I could only imagine what that would be like.
I didn’t realize I’d stopped kissing him until he caught my attention. His brows furrowed over chocolate covered eyes, long lashes almost hiding the twinkle in them from view. “What’s wrong?”
I smiled at him. This very moment was almost perfect. “Nothing. Just happy. I’ve missed you, Ace.”
“Then let me show you how much I’ve missed you, too. Let me make love to you again.” I was helpless against his request. It’d been years, and all of a few days had passed, and I was ready to jump back into bed with him.
Our kiss sparked with passion, two heat seeking missiles headed toward one another to crash in the middle of ecstasy. I could feel the roughness of his hands abrading my delicate skin and sending a current of shivers down my spine. My name rumbled from his lips as he said it with such praise and admiration.
Each second his hands were on me, I grew warmer, more needy. He nibbled on my lower lip, teasing me and driving me insane, before slowly sucking it into his mouth. I clutched at him, hoping and praying that I could hold on and not fall with the cataclysmic earthquake of pleasure wrecking its way through my body.
Chapter Seven
She opened her mouth on a sigh, and I devoured it, thrusting my own tongue in to twine with hers in a dance for power. I wanted control, but I also wanted her to give it willingly. The longer we kissed, the harder my cock pressed against the zipper of my pants. When I lifted my head to look at her, I saw her glazed eyes and the breathlessness.
I let my finger trail up her thigh, creeping closer to the paradise between her legs. Her skin was smooth against my calloused fingers and velvety soft. As my hand raised higher, I felt the hitch in her breath. Her hands drew up my neck, tangled in my hair, and pulled as I tried to deepen the kiss even more.
Pulling away slightly, I whispered to her, letting my breath dance across her lips, leaving behind chills. “Are you wet for me, Anna? Are you dripping with need for my cock?” She slipped her tongue through her lips, and I couldn’t help the groan that left my own mouth.
I finally reached my destination and discovered that not only was she soaked, she was completely drenched. Her arousal was starting to seep onto her inner thigh. As my thick fingers ran through her wet folds, she gasped and squeezed her eyes shut in pleasure.
“Fucking dripping for me, baby. So. Damn. Hot, Anna.” I lifted my fingers to my lips to sip her from them. She still tasted the same as I remembered. “Sweet mercy, I have missed the way you taste.” So sweet, with a tiny hint of salt to balance out the sweetness.
My eyes rolled back in my head as I licked her arousal from my fingers. I was about to drop to my knees and eat her out when the doorbell rang, interrupting me.
As she came back down to reality, she realized what we were about to do, and her cheeks flushed the prettiest rose color. “Who is that? Were you expecting someone?” Her eyes widened in holy terror.
“That’ll be dinner.” I said, smiling, pissed that they interrupted me from paying attention to my girl, but no worries, I can be patient and wait. I want all of her attention when I have her naked and squirming below me, and as much as I wanted her, the need to see her hair sprawled out across my sheets was stronger, at least right now.
I gave her a few seconds to get put back together. She pulled her dress back down and ran her fingers through her hair. She also rubbed her hands down her stomach as if it would somehow flatten out further.
She’d gained some weight over the last six years, but it was just more to love, and I would love her regardless. She was my girl. I claimed her when I was young, and then stupidly walked away. I should’ve stayed. I should’ve fought, and now I will. I’m not going anywhere.
I popped up from the couch and headed toward the front door. Opening it, I saw Andy holding my bag of food from Tequila Taquiera. “For you, sir.”
Disbelief painted my face. The last time I saw Andy, he was just a kid. Now he’s a little older, still acne ridden, tall, and lanky. “Thanks, Andy. You’ve grown up since the last time I saw you. No need to call me sir, you can just say Julian.”
A smile graced his face as he nodded once. I grabbed my wallet from the side table, paying him for the food and giving him a nice tip. I know the shit tips some of these drivers get, and I won’t contribute to that type of thinking.
Closing the door, I turn back to find Annagayle staring at me with a look I hadn’t seen in years. I could see it in her dark hazel eyes - she was craving me. Eyes clouded in lust greeted me, begging me to go back to what we were doing before we were interrupted. “Don’t look at me like that, Annagayle. Unless you plan on letting our food get cold. Although, I’m rather hungry for you this evening.”
That blush deepened. I headed toward the kitchen or else we really weren’t going to eat tonight. Seeing her sitting there on the couch in my home, I hadn’t realized it until this very moment how good she looked and how much I’ve missed seeing her in my space.
She followed me into the kitchen, and I had to control myself. What I really wanted to do was grab her by the waist, hike her skirt up, and sit her on the edge of the counter, so that perfect little pussy was right at face level when I got on my knees. Fuck, I really need to feed her first.
Annagayle is the only one I’ve felt this entranced over; the only one I’ve ever craved like my next breath. She was essential to my breathing; to my life. I’d seen life without her for the last six years, and I refused to be in that position again. My brain kept thinking the same thing over and over again; on repeat. It’s repetitive, like it’s on a memory and photo carousel in my brain.
“Ace…” Through the fog of my thoughts, I heard my name slowly increasing in volume. My eyes found Anna tilting her head to the side as if she’s trying to figure me out. “Ace?”
“Yeah, babe.”
“What did you get?” Her eyes twinkled as she looked at the bag in my hands.
“I got your favorite from Tequilas. Two tacos - one seared tuna taco with all the extra goodies you like so much. Oh, and extra of the aioli on the side. The other one is the hot mess. Hopefully these are still your go-to’s?” I said it in the form of a question.
She beamed, and my heart pounded at the silent praise. “Yes, it’s perfect. I can’t believe you remembered.”
“How could I forget?” The fact that she thought I would even consider forgetting cut fucking deep, but I didn’t want to fight with her. “I couldn't forget anything about you, even if I tried; even if I was in a coma. My heart would know you even if my brain was a little behind. I know you. You’re mine, Anna. Always have been, always will be. Tell me it’s only been me. I’ll understand if it hasn’t. It's been six years, but I want to be your last.”
She chewed on her bottom lip. “I haven’t slept with anyone since the summer you left to go race.”
My eyes widened as shock coated my features. I shouldn’t have let her see it, but fuck me. I had no idea how much I would love the idea of only my dick being inside her. My seed created a child in her belly. I wanted to make another one.
“So… are we going to like… eat?” She questioned me, and I couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Yes, let’s go.” I said, fiddling with the bag before walking to the cabinet to the left of me and grabbing two plates, bringing them and the food back to the island in the middle of the kitchen.
I pulled the tacos from the bag, putting mine on a separate plate than hers and handed it to her. “Want more wine?”
She grinned at me cheekily. “Ace, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to get me drunk.”
I smirked. “And if I am?”
“Food first…” She whined adorably.
“Yes, but, baby, I’m eating you for dessert. I am nowhere near done playing with your body for the night. What happened earlier was just a preview to the main event later on this evening once we’ve had dinner and rested.”
I watched her voluptuous ass walk away from me as I finished getting my tacos together and a beer. Because tacos deserve beer.
Bringing over my food, I sit it down on the coffee table and pick up the remote, looking for something to watch on the television. Maybe if I’m watching something, I’ll think about anything other than fucking the gorgeous woman sitting on the couch beside me.
I found a hockey game and turned it on. In the last six years, I’d surprisingly become a fan. Hockey players are fucking athletes. The way they glide down the ice, stop on a dime, and sprint like none other to make a goal is nothing less than fucking impressive.
The sound of her laugh sounded like the sweetest tone to my ears. “Since when do you watch hockey? You used to hate that sport.”
I lifted my shoulder in a shrug. “Things change, you said so yourself.”
She bowed her head a touch before continuing to eat. For just a few minutes, I simply sat and watched her. It was one of the things I loved best about Anna. She’d never been one of those shy eaters. No, if she was hungry, she chowed down. Nothing like the dainty bunnies who used to hang around all the time and find salad an acceptable meal. I shook my head. Eating shit salads for the sake of beauty. Now, I’m not saying I don’t eat salad, but I like a mean steak and potatoes meal every once in a while.
The next half an hour was rather silent as we finished our food; only the sounds of cheering and shouting from the hockey game filling the space. She moaned twice while eating, and it did absolutely nothing to help how fucking tight my pants had become. Fuck.
“Mmm… that was delicious. Thank you for dinner.” She looked down at her watch and my stomach dropped. Did she want to leave already? She pulled her cell from her purse before looking at me with what seemed like asking for permission. “Um… do you mind if I text Savvy? I just want to make sure he’s okay, and I can stay a little longer.”
“Of course, babe.”
She texted Savvy, and a smile crossed her lips moments later. “Everything okay?” I asked because I honestly wanted to know.
“Yep, Ben and Rex have been busy playing all night with the new Hot Wheels track Dad got him. We had to leave his favorite car at home, though, because he and Rex tend to fight over it.”
My eyebrows raised. “Really? What kind of car?”
“What other kind of car would it be; a 1970 Chevelle SS.”
My chest puffed at his favorite car. He was definitely my boy.
Chapter Eight
We’d finished eating. I should have gotten up and left before anything started, before I ended up sleeping with my baby daddy. I didn’t want to complicate things, but I also noticed the way he was eyeing me up. He wanted me, and I couldn’t say I felt any different.
I knew if I said no, he would stop. He always respected my boundaries and never questioned them or pushed too far.
We’d been watching hockey all evening. I couldn’t say I’ve ever been a fan, but I don’t care as long as I’m watching with him. I checked in with Savannah earlier, and she said the boys are getting along. They went from playing with their Hot Wheels to playing video games with Hutchison. I swear the man has a heart of gold.
I love Ben with all my heart, but sometimes I just need a break. My eyes found dark chocolate with hints of amber whiskey around the irises that stared back at me. He’d managed to scooch closer to me as we sat there. Now I was sealed into his side with his arm hanging on the back of the couch, offering himself up on a silver platter.
Now that he was this close, I caught the scent of his soap and aftershave; it was a heady combination. It asked my body to soften, and certainly got my pulse skyrocketing into action, and my pussy begging to be filled.
