Never Say Never, page 11
“What O.R.?” Malcolm asked, glancing toward the swinging doors.
“You can’t go in, Dr. Winters. You’re not scrubbed in.”
“I didn’t ask you that,” Malcolm said, annoyed with the young nurse. He understood she was trying to follow protocol, but he needed to find out Mr. Gibson’s condition. “I asked you what O.R. he was in.”
Afraid of offending him, the nurse supplied the room number. “O.R. five,” she said nervously and watched Malcolm rush off.
Running through the hall, Malcolm glanced at each operating room until he found number five. When he pushed open the front door and looked through the glass mirror, he didn’t like what he saw. The crash cart was out and the cardiac monitor was flat-lined. He heard the surgeon say, “Time of death: ten thirty p.m.”
“No!” Malcolm rushed inside the room.
The surgeon walked toward him. “Dr. Winters, I presume,” the surgeon said, glancing at the I.D. badge hanging from Malcolm’s neck and extending his hand. “I’m Dr. Moore. I’m sorry, but Mr. Gibson did not make it. I did my best, but the damage from the massive heart attack was too severe.”
Malcolm was silent as he looked down at the surgeon’s extended hand. He completely ignored him and walked toward Mr. Gibson’s lifeless body. After everything he’d done, Mr. Gibson had still died.
The surgeon patted him on the shoulder as he walked away. “It’s rough to lose a patient. Would you like me to tell the wife?”
Malcolm shook his head. “No, I’ll do it.” Somehow he would walk out those doors and inform Mrs. Gibson that the love of her life had passed away. Somewhere he had to find the inner strength.
As he stared down at Mr. Gibson’s lifeless body with his chest cracked open, Malcolm inwardly screamed to himself, the gods or whoever else was listening at how unfair life was. How could this have happened again? He was supposed to get it right this time. A lonely teardrop fell down his cheek at the injustice of the world. Disgusted, he stormed out of the O.R.
Mrs. Gibson was waiting for him on the other side, hopeful that all was well. He hated to deliver the heartbreaking news, but better it come from him than someone else. The moment she saw him, however, she knew the truth. His head was hanging low and defeat was etched across his whole face.
“No!” she screamed. “No!” She cried out and collapsed to the floor. Malcolm and the nurse from the station reached her at the same time.
“Let’s get her into a chair,” Malcolm said, lifting her into his arms and gently placing her into one. She came around slightly once she was seated, muttering under her breath.
“Nurse.” He turned to the young nurse whom he had treated terribly before. “Get me a cold cloth and a sedative.”
“It’s okay, Mrs. Gibson,” Malcolm soothed the older woman. “We’ll get you through this.”
And that’s how Malcolm ended his evening, sitting by Mrs. Gibson’s side until her sister arrived to take her home. He’d given her a mild sedative in the hopes that it would alleviate some of the pain and get her through the night. But the real test would begin in the morning, when she would have to face the world alone.
Chapter 11
After a hard day’s work the next day, Sabrina and Monique decided to commiserate over a smart cocktail at Mimi’s. They’d only been there for a few minutes when Sabrina noticed Malcolm sitting alone at the bar. An air of isolation surrounded him and it seemed like he wanted it that way if his ranting at the barkeep were any indication. This was not the Malcolm that Sabrina and Jasmine encountered when her daughter sprained her arm.
“Excuse me for a moment,” Sabrina said to Monique.
“Go get him, tiger,” Monique growled.
Sabrina slid off the barstool and sashayed toward Malcolm. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Monique giving her an enthusiastic thumbs-up.
“Hey, Malcolm.” Sabrina attempted casualness.
Malcolm glanced up from his fifth shot of Patrón, but didn’t respond. Instead, he pulled the Tequila bottle over toward him and poured himself another drink.
“So I take it you intend to tie one on?” Sabrina asked as she glanced at Malcolm; for his part, he didn’t bother to look her way.
It was the first time she’d seen him disheveled. His hair was uncombed and his white shirt was hanging out of his jeans. But it was his eyes that Sabrina noticed the most. Though they were bloodshot, there was something more. The hurt and pain lying in those murky dark depths was evident. Something had happened. Something devastating that had rocked him to his very core.
“Are you okay?” She touched his shoulder, but Malcolm flinched and moved away. Sabrina felt horrible. She wished she knew what was eating him up. She knew about that kind of pain because she’d lived through it. When she discovered Tre’s infidelity, it had taken her days to get out of bed.
“Malcolm, whatever it is, you can talk to me about it.” Sabrina sat beside him on the adjacent stool. “I’m your friend. You can tell me anything.”
He didn’t respond at first, instead he just stared into his shot glass. After several minutes had passed, he finally turned to her and said, “I know you mean well, Sabrina, but you can’t help me, okay? Just go back to Monique.”
Sabrina’s eyes welled up seeing him this way. “Malcolm, please,” she whispered, scooting closer to him. She grabbed his arm and when he tried to move away, she hung on tighter. “Please tell me what happened. Sometimes talking helps.”
Malcolm shook his head. She couldn’t help him. No one could. No matter how hard he’d tried to fight it, to beat the odds, death was a part of life and he was just going to have to accept it.
Sabrina watched Malcolm look up and roll his eyes heavenward. Is he praying for something? If so, she hoped he prayed for inner peace.
Surprising himself, Malcolm said, “I lost a patient last night.”
He spoke so low, his words were barely audible. “What did you say?”
“I said I lost a patient,” he repeated, taking a generous gulp of Tequila and turning to face her. “He came to me with symptoms of a heart attack. And I did everything I could, everything I knew of to save him, but he still died.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry, Malcolm.” She shuddered inwardly at the thought of what he must be going through. Sabrina leaned over and squeezed his shoulders and covered his hand with hers. “How’s his family?”
“His wife is completely devastated. And I feel so bad, Sabrina.” Malcolm’s voice cracked. “I told her I could save him and she believed me.”
“Malcolm, this is not your fault.”
He shook his head. “You don’t understand.”
“Yes, I do. You’re blaming yourself right now for his death, but didn’t you say you did everything you could? Everything you knew how? Listen to me,” she said, grabbing him by the chin, “this is not your fault, Malcolm. You did your best.”
“My best wasn’t good enough.”
“So now what?” Sabrina asked, fast becoming annoyed. “You’re going to wallow in self-pity and drink yourself into a drunken stupor.”
“Sounds good to me.”
“Well, that’s not going to happen,” Sabrina said.
“And what do you have to say about it?”
Sabrina jumped off the stool. “I’m your friend, that’s what. And as your friend, I’m taking you home to Parker House. Barkeep,” she called, “close out his tab, please.” The bartender nodded.
“Excuse me for a moment.” Sabrina went back to Monique. “Listen, girl. Malcolm lost a patient today and is pretty upset about it. I’m going to take him back to Parker House.”
“And is that all you’re going to do?” Sabrina blushed. “Yes, that’s all. I’m going to put him to bed and leave.”
“If I were you I’d be hitting that with the quickness.”
“Is sex all you think about? You know what, don’t answer that. Can you catch a ride?”
Monique looked down the bar at a chocolate-skinned brother. “Oh, yes, I can find my own way home.”
Sabrina grinned. “Good. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” When she returned to Malcolm, he was nursing yet another shot. The bartender slid his tab her way. “Do you have a credit card?” Sabrina asked Malcolm.
“My jeans,” he mumbled. She thought he was oblivious and stupid drunk, until she accidentally brushed his manhood when she reached inside his pocket and felt him jerk from her touch.
He grinned mischievously at her. “Hello.” He grabbed handfuls of her hair and began playing with them.
“Stop that.” She swatted his hand away just as she found his credit card. Sabrina slid the card in the bartender’s direction. He returned with a receipt, which Malcolm scribbled his name across while Sabrina assisted him out of the bar to her car.
“Hmmm, I think I like being manhandled,” he said jokingly.
“Hush your mouth.” Sabrina fumbled to get her keys out of her jeans pocket while holding him upright. Once the door was open, she slid him into the passenger seat.
“Sabrina, did I tell you about my twin, Michael? He was the best.”
Sabrina peered at him strangely. “Did you just say twin?”
Sabrina was surprised he’d never mentioned it before or during their dinner when they’d talked about their families, but now that she thought about it, he had changed the subject when it had come to his personal life. Now, as she glanced over while driving, she noticed that he’d closed his eyes; he stayed that way until they reached Parker House.
“We’re here.” Sabrina nudged Malcolm when the car stopped.
“Hmmm …” His head popped up and he looked at his surroundings. “Where are we?”
“Home,” she stated as she turned off the engine and came around to help him out of the car.
While Sabrina helped Malcolm to the elevator, he mumbled about how beautiful she was and how much he loved being her friend.
Sabrina blushed and pressed the “up” button several times. She was grateful her parents had the foresight to install an elevator for the disabled. Thankfully it arrived seconds later and she dragged Malcolm down the hall to his bedroom. When she reached his door, Sabrina reached inside Malcolm’s jeans pocket and produced his key. Inserting it into the cylinder, she twisted the lock and opened the door.
“C’mon, boy,” Sabrina said as she flicked on the light switch. “Let’s get you to the bed.”
She helped him to it and just as she was about to turn away he hauled her on top of him. “Malcolm—”
“Yeah?” he asked, sliding his hands behind her head and pulling her forward.
“What are you—”
“I’m not that drunk,” he murmured seconds before his lips claimed hers in a kiss. Earlier, when he’d see her at the bar, his groin had tightened. Sabrina was sexier than any woman had a right to be, in tight jeans and a tank top. His heart hammered loudly and he knew that only Sabrina could ease his pain. He grasped the sides of her face and kissed her.
When Malcolm’s mouth captured hers, the kiss was so scorching Sabrina thought they’d set the sheets ablaze. He kissed her with a hunger that excited and surprised her. Malcolm didn’t hold anything back. His tongue plunged inside her mouth and asked hers to dance. Sabrina had no choice but to accept.
Sensations tore through her as Malcolm’s large hands tightened around her and his tongue delved deeper. It caressed hers with languorous strokes while his body pressed harder. She felt his excitement, knew she should push him away, but truly, she wanted to feel his hardness, to take it in at the juncture between her thighs. And as if he knew what she was thinking, what she was feeling, his aroused member shot up like a missile to her feminine core. Sabrina couldn’t resist letting out a soft moan and knew her panties had to be wet.
When she saw him earlier tonight, so bereft, all she wanted to do was be there for him, to help him, but she never imagined this. Never imagined that it would feel so good to be in his arms. It had been years since she’d felt this way, this hungry for a man, but not just any man—Malcolm.
When she felt his hands leave her face and make their way to her breasts, she didn’t stop him. He stroked her over her tank top. Sabrina could feel her nipples turn to hardened buds underneath his skilled touch. But that wasn’t enough. He lifted her top, pushed the satin folds of her bra aside, and began flicking and teasing her buds with his fingertips.
“I want you, Sabrina,” Malcolm moaned against her skin. “I need you.” His hands roamed lower to the curve of her hip. Then she felt him at her abdomen as he tried to unbutton her jeans.
As much as she wanted him too, Sabrina knew deep down that this wasn’t the right time. Malcolm was grieving and he just needed a warm body. She could be anybody if it meant he didn’t have to feel the pain of his loss. Though she knew deep in her heart that probably wasn’t so, she also didn’t want their first time together to be like this, some drunken encounter, at least on his part. Intuitively, Sabrina had known that they would end up becoming intimate, but she’d wanted it to be at a time and in a place of their choosing, when they were both conscious enough to make the decision.
“Don’t deny me,” he whispered as he finally worked the button loose on her jeans, unzipped them and pushed his hands all the way inside her panties. “Please …”
Sabrina cried softly when she felt Malcolm’s hand reach the folds of her sex and slide inside of her.
“Yes, baby.” Malcolm began kissing and sucking on her neck and despite herself, Sabrina began gyrating her hips, meeting the thrust of his fingers as they drove deeper and deeper inside of her. “That’s right, Sabrina, come for me.”
“Oh, God!” Sabrina couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt this good, this sublime. His fingers delved into her heated wetness, thrusting in and out with such precision that they obliterated her senses. When she couldn’t hold back any longer, she screamed.
Malcolm’s mouth returned to hers, covering her screams as she began to shiver underneath him.
Malcolm was rock hard and it was all because of Sabrina. Making her come just now had been a major turnon because it seemed as if her orgasm had been a long time coming. He couldn’t wait to be inside her, to taste her, to breathe her in. He was about to reach for her again and help her remove her jeans when Sabrina sat upright on the bed.
“Sabrina?”
She turned to look down at him with hooded lashes. “I, I—”
“Stay with me tonight.”
Sabrina shook her head. “Malcolm, I can’t.” She began zipping her jeans back up. “This”—she motioned between the two of them—“sh-shouldn’t have happened. I came here to help you.”
Malcolm grinned. “You are helping.” And she’d be helping him a lot more if she spent the night and let him lose himself in her.
Sabrina grinned ruefully. “Not like that, not like this. It’s, it’s clear that we’re attracted to each other. There’s no use in denying that now; but we should both be clearheaded when we finally do make love. I don’t want to be a salve for you tonight. I want you to want me, for me.”
Malcolm bolted upright. She had a point. If they’d gone to bed tonight, he would be using her to get over losing Mr. Gibson and it wasn’t fair. “I understand.”
She rose from the bed, straightened her top, then headed for the door.
“Sabrina?”
“Yes?”
“You know this isn’t over between us, right?” he asked with a smile.
“I know.” She winked at him as she closed the door behind her. On the opposite side, Sabrina leaned against it. Dear God, what the hell just happened?
Her body knew the answer—Malcolm had just given her her first orgasm in Lord knows how long. If he could do that with his fingers, imagine what it would be like to have him inside her, deep inside her. Sabrina groaned inwardly. That was the problem, because she couldn’t wait to find out.
Chapter 12
“Mom, can I have this?” Jasmine held up some Cocoa Pebbles in her hand. It was Friday evening, and she and Sabrina were shopping for groceries at the local Winn-Dixie.
“No, too much sugar,” Sabrina replied, going down the next aisle absentmindedly. She was too caught up with images from earlier in the week when she and Malcolm had almost made love. They constantly replayed in her head and she was unable to get illicit thoughts about the sexy doctor, his tongue or his skillful fingers out of her mind. Nor could she forget the way he’d made her whole body quake with longing to have him inside of her.
“How about this?” Jasmine asked, holding up some Oreo cookies.
“Jasmine,” Sabrina said in an annoyed tone, “why don’t you go look for some fruit because that’s the only thing you’re going to get.” They were on their own tonight because Sabrina’s parents were having dinner with friends from Bible study.
When several minutes passed and Jasmine still hadn’t returned, Sabrina began to worry and started searching every aisle of the store. She finally came across Jasmine in the meat department, but she was not alone.
“Look who I found?” Jasmine smiled adoringly up at Malcolm.
The man had impeccable timing in catching Sabrina off guard, and tonight she was a little embarrassed, looking like a ragamuffin in her old, faded jeans and T-shirt.
“Malcolm.” Sabrina’s face broke into a smile even as she blushed all over. Why does he have to look like he’s just stepped out of the pages of GQ magazine? He smiled, revealing a beautiful set of perfect white teeth, and he cut a sharp figure in his tailored maroon slacks and a crisp white shirt, casually opened at the top. Sabrina licked her lips. “It’s good to see you. How are you doing?” Clearly, he had recovered from his previous bout of depression.
Malcolm watched Sabrina lick her lips and wished he could rush over and take them in his mouth as he had done a few nights ago.
