True John Crusade, page 5
“I was working at a company called Kodo when it hit. I know we were selling an app to developers, but I couldn’t tell you what the app did or who our market was. It was literally just a job to me. Output code, input money, you know what I mean?”
He winked at me as if I knew what he meant. But I didn’t.
“Sorry,” he said. “Dumb joke. Anyways, it was just another garbage day at this garbage office writing code for this garbage app, when suddenly we heard a siren, and all the lights went out at once. We totally lost power. My desktop wasn’t working, obviously, but I moved over to my laptop and kept coding for a few hours until the battery died. Then I looked around and everyone was gone.”
“You just kept working?” I said. “You didn’t want to investigate what was going on?”
“No. I was in the zone.” Eric answered awkwardly, “And it’s kind of easier to work in the dark with no people around. No distractions. You know what I mean?”
I still didn’t know what he meant.
“Anyways, when I went outside it was like a bomb had gone off.” Eric continued, “There was rubble everywhere. And all my coworkers had turned into zombies. They were all out there shuffling around, and when they saw me, they tried to rip my throat out.”
“Did you kill them?” I asked.
“Oh, yeah. I grabbed a three-hole-punch, one of those big ones, and just went to town. Seriously, I beat the crap out of them. Especially Wayne.” Eric laughed. “He has the desk next to mine, and he’s always eating those giant bags of 3D Doritos. Just crunching and crunching. And you can smell them on his breath for hours.”
I was getting the sense that Eric kind of had an anger problem. But hey, who doesn’t? I wouldn’t judge it, though I might avoid too much alone time with Eric.
“You can probably guess the rest,” Eric said. “Leveling up, teleportation, tournament, blah, blah, blah. I chose to specialize in magic. And I’m damn glad I did. Those fireballs are cool!”
“Cool, indeed.” I muttered, thinking maybe I didn’t want to upset him too much. “Alright Ashley, what about you?” I asked, turning to the girl.
She blinked at me, taking a bite out of her vegan sausage patty. “Um, I’m in college? I go to Brandeis? Or, well, I guess I should say I was in college, because my college doesn’t exist anymore? Ever since the apocalypse happened?”
“Oh yeah,” Eric said. “I guess most of Boston’s kind of underwater now.”
Ashley shrugged, playing things cool, but the frustration could be seen in her eyes. “Yeah, so I’ve always been into mixed martial arts. I probably got serious about it ever since high school. You know, I’ve actually won a few tournaments.”
“Wait,” I said, holding up a hand to pause her. She rolled her eyes like she knew what was coming next. “Really? You?”
“Yeah,” she said, rounding on me. “You look surprised. Why are you surprised?”
“I’m not surprised!” Clearly, I was lying. She didn’t look like the martial arts type.
“Seriously, you look surprised. Do you have a problem with me doing MMA or something?” she snapped back.
“No!” I responded, backing away with my hands up. “No, I don’t! That’s great! I’m glad you’ve found a hobby that works for you!”
“It’s more than a hobby,” she said. “It’s a way of life. Like CrossFit and being vegan. Anyways, when things went down, I was actually pretty set. Way better off than a lot of people. Everyone at school just stood there and let the zombies kill them. It was actually pretty pathetic. I guess I expected better? Like some people literally let zombies, and not the quick running kind you see in the movies, catch and eat them.”
“And you did what?” I asked, curious as to how she managed to survive if everyone else perished.
“Oh, I took them out. One by one, tactically speaking, with my bare hands.” She was practically beaming as twisted her hands together in a mock kill.
“Wow!” Eric said, laughing. “You two are really terrifying!”
I was beginning to see why the two of them had been picked for the Crusaders.
“And when I learned about that tournament, I was really excited. It felt like I’d been training for it my whole life. And I dominated it, like, seriously, I think I’ve found my true calling. Blood sports. I don’t think I can go back to just doing MMA after this.”
“Huh,” I said. She must have some kind of fighting power. “That’s really cool, Ashley.”
“Yeah!” she exclaimed excitedly. “So that’s my story!”
Bjorn poked at the last few strips of bacon on the grill with a spatula before speaking up.
“You guys are really tough,” he said. “But Dan’s the only one of us who’s cleared out an entire safe zone for us to live in.”
“Yeah,” Eric said, looking at me admiringly. “That’s really awesome. And with nothing but a baseball bat, too. How’d you do it, man?”
Huh. I guess it hadn’t occurred to me that what I’d done was in any way impressive. But put it that way, it did sound kind of cool. I had my own kingdom, and it was good enough for the Crusaders to want to use as an outpost. That wasn’t nothing.
“I mean, I just went out there swinging,” I said, mimicking a swinging motion. “Took them all out at once. Well not at once. It took a while. Ok, it was a learning experience. This is my street, guys, I can’t let a pack of zombies just take it over.”
They seemed unimpressed. I made the story a little more dramatic than it actually was. That was on me. In the old world, I might have run into issues making claims like that, like getting sued, but all the lawyers died horrifically violent deaths in the apocalypse.
I guess the flesh golem smelled the meat cooking, because he stomped over to us, sniffing the air. The Crusaders were trying to hold him back, but he wasn’t having any of it.
“I think we should just give him what he wants,” Bjorn said, backing away from the grill.
The golem inhaled the rest of the food and sat down on the ground with a thud.
“Does he have a name?” I asked. He used to have a name. Back when one was many.
The other recruits looked at each other blankly. I patted the golem’s side and handed him the last piece of bacon off my plate. “I dub thee John Legion.”
John Legion roared. See? He knew who was really in charge here. And it wasn’t the Crusaders. Besides, he was literally made of me. Well, me(s), plural.
Chapter Eight: Move Out
* * *
The rest of the day ended up being a bust. As much as I'd wanted to go, it wasn't quite in the plan. We'd talked about it, set it up, made a team, and at the last minute, the excursion was postponed. Nothing bad, and it wasn’t my fault. It was just everyone was needed down at the fence in cause of another attack and to do the light repairs the system allowed. They couldn’t spare the manpower to escort me.
So I ended up back in my room, away from everyone else, and tried to enjoy my me-time. Eventually, with nothing else to do. I fell asleep. While I wish I could say I slept great, I didn’t. Not really. The whole night I tossed and turned. Nightmares.
I was up the next day at first light.
Ugh. I missed sleeping past noon. I hadn’t had a drink in a while, either. There was nothing to drink in the Republic, since the liquor collection was destroyed with the rest of my house. Maybe I could grab some beer while I was out on my quest. If there was any beer left to buy, or take.
I should try to pick up some food, too, if Bjorn had been right about there being nothing else to eat here. I pushed the covers aside and started making a list. I got one entry deep.
Top Ramen, the spicy shrimp flavor, I loved that extra zing.
“Napoleon,” I called out to the mimic. “Do you want anything while I’m out scavenging?”
The mimic peaked his head out from under the bed and yawned with a mouth full of teeth.
“Guess that’s a no.” At least that’s what I assumed. For all I knew, the Mimic was telling me to bring it back something still alive.
I added bacon to the short list to make Bjorn and Legion Dan happy and opened the window. Edgar was outside waiting for me, already dressed up in his gear and fully caffeinated. How does he do it?
“Are you ready to go?” he asked as he gave me an up down look and glare. “Where’s your uniform?”
I looked behind me and pointed. “It’s on the back of the door where I left it.”
“Well, put it on and get going. We need to get this done. I have them rebuilding the wall with what we have on hand for now, but that’s not going to last long. You saw what happened when the Undead attacked. The same thing will keep happening again, over and over. It will happen until we can build a better structure.”
Edgar was riled up and seemed upset, but what was I to do about it? We both knew that was the case. Monsters were literally crawling around everywhere outside of the Republic.
I watched as the Crusaders reassembled and reattached boards and material that had been torn down in one of the ever-increasing attacks against the outpost. They were working hard. Part of me respected that. They knew they were outclassed and outnumbered, that the odds were against them, and they still kept going. If the skeletons attacked again, they’d fight until the last one of them was dead. I respected that, I really did, but it wasn’t for me. But if they were willing to put up with that and put the work in, I could wear a uniform.
“Okay,” I agreed without further fight. “Let me just get dressed, and then I’ll head out. Do you know where I’m supposed to go.”
Edgar looked at me like I was an idiot again. “You’re the ruler of this Republic. Don’t you know what’s available? Haven’t you scouted the surrounding area?”
No, and no. But luckily, I had Lirai for that. “I didn’t have a lot of time for scouting before everything went down like it did,” I admitted.
“Come meet me outside before you leave,” Edgar called out. “I want to show you what we found in one of the houses.”
He jogged off without another word, industrious as always, and I shut the window and pulled my uniform on. It was still too tight. I wondered how long it would take before I lost enough weight for it to fit. Maybe I could get more fitness upgrades that would help me speed things along a little.
“Lirai,” I prompted. “Where around here can I get the materials the Crusaders need?”
Notification - Query – Best Course of Action
Player is in the area: “Suburb”. The closest sources of materials are in the area: “Springfield Mall”. Best sources are: Rowe’s Building Supplies, Hamburger King, and Live, Laugh, Love Home Goods. These are dungeon areas, and player should prepare for multiple boss fights. Dress accordingly. Player should be warned that the surrounding area is dangerous, and that he is under leveled. High-level monsters are swarming in great numbers. Be on high alert, and consider your options carefully.
“Thanks for the advice, Lirai.” Hopefully, that tidbit of information was exactly what I needed.
Why was she sending me to the Hamburger King? Last I checked, it wasn’t exactly a good place to buy building materials. It did have good burgers, though. Maybe they had some left over in the freezer.
Notification – Additional Information
Player is advised to bring his pet mimic along on the journey. It is a powerful ally and may prove useful in the quest.
Okay. Well, it would probably be good for Napoleon to get out of the house a little.
I lifted the covers of my bed and tentatively glanced under and called out to the Mimic. “How do you feel, buddy?” I asked. “Do you want to come along?”
He made a sort of meowing sound that didn’t go along at all with his look, but I took it as an affirmation when he crawled out from under the bed and hugged my leg again. Between Napoleon and Legion Dan, I was proving to be pretty good with monsters.
I was a little curious, “Why don’t I have the title of Monster King or maybe even Monster Tamer yet?”
Notification - Query - Absence of tamer emblem
You don’t possess the proper emblem to enable use of those titles.
“I bet there’s a lot for you to eat out there,” I said, hoping that would be enticing enough to get him up and moving. “Better than spiders and skeletons.”
Napoleon seemed to like that, so I picked him up and set him on my shoulder. He left a little oozing stain on the fabric of my uniform. I couldn’t tell if it was blood, meat juice, or something else. However, the urge to vomit was definitely something I could identify.
That’s disgusting. I tried to be nice and didn’t want to offend the little guy. He looked excited to go on a journey.
I stepped outside and closed the door. The other recruits were hard at work hauling plywood toward the temporary wall. The Undead had scattered everything all over the subdivision.
Ashley waved when she saw me. “Are you heading out?” she asked curiously. “Is it just you?”
“Guess so,” I responded, not seeing anything else.
“Cool!” Eric said, chiming in as he walked over. “Do you think we can come with you? Or can we help in any way? You’re going out into the real world, and that’s so exciting. We’ve been stuck here.”
Ah. My escort. “This is the real world, be glad you don’t have to be out there,” I replied. “At least more real than whatever is out there waiting for us.”
Eric reddened. “You know what I mean. It’s crowded here, and I’d like to see what’s happening to the world. You get it right?”
He basically repeated himself, but no, I didn’t.
“I think we need to stay here,” Bjorn said, changing the subject. “We have our orders. We work on the wall. Dan gets materials so we can take this one down and build a better wall.”
“Efficient,” Ashley said with a nod, wanting to keep things good with Bjorn.
I shrugged. It wasn’t my problem if they got along well or not. As if on cue, Edgar ran over, and the look he gave me wasn’t exactly one of appreciation.
“Recruits, let’s go!” he hollered, clapping his hands. The others then dragged the plywood away.
Once they were gone, he turned to me, face serious. “Are you ready?”
“To go on my quest? Find materials? Go out into the proverbial apocalyptic wilderness?” I replied, my lips pursing.
Edgar bit back some less than nice words he was holding in and calmed himself before responding. “No, not the quest, not yet. To see the house.”
“Oh.” It didn’t ring any bells to me. Napoleon looked excited at the word “house”. I assumed he remembered the giant spiders he’d eaten in my living room, back when I’d still had a living room.
He led the way, and in less than a minute, we were stepping onto the property of the house in question. Edgar looked grim as he pushed a door open.
“This is what we’re up against,” he said, stepping aside so I could see what he meant. “It’s the same in most of the buildings beyond the sphere of your influence with the Republic. They take over every building they get into.”
I peered into what was basically my worst nightmare. The entire house was full of spiderwebs, just like mine had been. A spider tried to crawl across the ceiling, and Napoleon gleefully immobilized it in his bear form, allowing the mimic to quickly eat it.
“Is this unusual?” I asked, ducking under a thick web as we moved inside to check it out further.
“Very. We haven’t seen anything like this before in a claimed area. Spontaneous dungeon creation is one thing, as are monster spawn points, but this is different. There’s something about your subdivision that’s attracting them. We’re not sure what it is yet. We’ve tried to clear them out, but we keep missing the last of them. Apparently, we need to get all of them in one clear. If we miss even one, they just grow back.”
Hm. That sounded ominous. Napoleon abruptly waddled forward and lunged. His true form partially revealed underneath the image of the meat bear. Huge teeth appeared in a dislodged jaw. Napoleon bit down and ate another spider, crunching its hard exoskeleton between his teeth.
Edgar grimaced; I could tell he wasn’t a fan of my bet. “We removed most of the bodies, but as you can see, it’s still a mess.”
He wasn’t wrong. Aside from the spider webs, the walls were covered in dirt, mud and other unpleasant-looking stains, and dried blood was caked to the floor. There were a few white things under the dining room table that looked suspiciously like teeth. I wasn’t sure what the Crusaders were used to, but I’d be seriously creeped out if I tried to sleep in a house that had once looked like a bunch of people were murdered by monsters in it.
Then again, I couldn’t be too judgemental. I’d passed out in my own filth once or twice after a rough night at the bar. So, in this one case, I wasn’t really the one to judge.
“We don’t need to go upstairs,” Edgar said, grimacing. “But I assure you, it’s even worse up there. It looks like a giant blender went off without a lid on. But I wanted you to see it anyway. We’ve got problems here we need to take care of.. you need to step up more.”
