Fallen Lords Christmas, page 4
“I was busy talking Nickel into being my best man.”
“You had to talk him into it, too?” she asked. “I was about to beg Nikki yesterday. What is with these people not wanting to be our people standing next to us?”
“They probably know this is going to be one crazy ride.”
“Is not,” she insisted. “It’s just a wedding.”
I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her lips. “A wedding that you are planning, babe. I’m looking forward to all the crazy you’ve got up your sleeve. I saw the credit card statement last month, and there was a charge to a Miller Farm.”
Her eyes darted to the side, and she bit her bottom lip. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”
She knew exactly what I was talking about. “You sure about that, babe? He had rental in the description.”
She shook her head. “Don’t know.”
“Weird. I guess I’ll call the credit card company tomorrow and let them know it’s fraud.”
“No!” Alice gasped. “Uh, you don’t need to waste time doing that. I can do it.”
“Oh, really?”
She nodded. “Yeah, honey. I bet I’ll have to be on hold for a while, and you have club stuff you need to deal with. Just let me handle it.”
I had a hunch of what Alice was up to and could easily figure out what it was just by calling up Miller Farm, but I wouldn’t do that. “You sure there isn’t anything you want to tell me?”
“I’m just planning our wedding, Wrecker. Lots of things going on, but you’ll see it all once we walk down the aisle.”
“Mmhmm.” I would bet fifty bucks there would be a fucking cow somewhere mixed in there. Hell, I wouldn’t doubt it if there was a whole fucking herd of cows. “I guess as long as you’re there, you can do whatever you want.”
She smiled brightly. “Nothing could keep me away.”
I pressed a kiss to her lips. “Same, babe.”
December 4th
Alice
“Oh my god!”
I raised my head and looked over the back of the couch. “What the hell are you, oh my goding?” I asked Nikki.
“Your bachelorette party! I get to be the one to plan everything,” she chirped. “I have too many ideas of what we can do.”
Wrecker turned and looked at Nikki. “We’re in the middle of a movie. You think you can quiet down until it’s over?”
Nikki shook her head. “No. I’m gonna go grab a notebook from Pipe’s room, and then we are going to start brainstorming.” She sprinted down the hallway with a shout of glee.
Wrecker turned back to the TV and pulled me back. “She said she gets to be the one to plan it; she can do that shit by herself.”
“I can help her,” I insisted.
Wrecker shook his head and ran his fingers through my hair. “Not until the movie is over.”
“What if she plans a huge rager with sexy male strippers and donkeys?” I asked. Those were the two things that popped into my mind first when I thought about a crazy bachelorette party.
“Were you renting donkeys from the Miller Farm?” he asked.
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “No. They don’t rent those.” They did rent baby highlander calves, though. Well, they technically hadn’t before I walked into their barn, but they did once I walked out.
“Let her plan whatever she wants,” Wrecker grunted.
“Even if it’s fifty strippers and an all-night rager?”
Wrecker scoffed. “I think you’re giving Nikki more credit than she deserves, but if that’s what she plans, fine.”
I sat up and stared at Wrecker. “You’re trying to tell me you would be okay with a room full of male strippers with their banana hammocks and titty tassels?”
Wrecker glanced at me. “Male strippers don’t wear titty tassels, babe.”
I waved my hand at him. “Whatever. So there won’t be titty tassels, but there will be banana hammocks. You’re okay with that?”
“Long as you don’t touch, babe, I’m fine.”
That was surprising. I didn’t really think that Wrecker would be okay with having male strippers at my bachelorette party. Hell, I could tell you right now I didn’t want there to be female strippers at Wrecker’s bachelor party.
“So you’re okay with dicks and balls waving in my face as long as I don’t touch?”
“And they don’t touch you,” Wrecker clarified. “No touching from anyone.”
I laid my head back down and sighed.
“You mad about that, babe?”
I looked up at him. “No.” I quirked my eyebrow. “But yes.” Hell, I didn’t know how I felt right now. It wasn’t like I would have actually put my hands on a stripper, but I kind of thought Wrecker would have been against strippers in any sense. Not just saying no to any touching.
“Tell me where I need to clarify things, babe.”
“You’re okay with me looking?”
He shrugged and laid his hand on my cheek. “They ain’t got nothing I don’t have, babe. If you’re into strippers helicoptering and air humping, then more power to you.”
I rolled my eyes and laughed. “And you’re fine with that as long as they don’t touch me. How are you even going to know if that happens or not? It’s not like you are going to be there.”
“I won’t be, but I also know you love and respect me enough to not lie to me or do something that would upset me.”
“When did you become so smart? Did that happen when your beard grew longer than two feet?” I reached up and combed my fingers through his beard.
“I wised up when a crazy woman came to one of the club parties and bowed to me like I was the king of England.”
“Oh really?” I asked coyly. “Are you sure it wasn’t more of a curtsy than a bow?” I still remember that night like it was yesterday. Wrecker had captivated me that night, and nothing had changed.
Except I was going to be his wife in nineteen days. Or was it twenty? I really wasn’t good at counting down the days.
“Call it whatever you want, babe, but all I know, life hasn’t been the same since then.”
“I got it!” Nikki called. She skidded into the common room and catapulted herself into the recliner next to the sofa. “What if I rent one of those pedal bike things that are a portable bar? We could bike around town while getting drunk off malibu and pineapple juice.”
“Uh, I think that sounds really fun, but it’s December in Illinois. We’d need to be bundled up from the tips of our noses to our toes. That doesn’t seem to be that much fun.” I mean, I had learned really quick that as long as the girls were around, I had a good time, but I didn’t think riding a bike around in below freezing temps was the best idea. “What about bowling?” I suggested.
Nikki wrinkled her nose. “Bowling? You want to go bowling for your last hooray as a single woman?”
I shrugged. “I mean, I’m not really a single woman anyway. I could totally go for pizza, nachos, and some bowling. We could rent a few lanes and just let loose.”
“You just planned your own bachelorette party,” Nikki complained. “Why did I even get my notebook?”
I shrugged and laid my head back down in Wrecker’s lap. “Maybe you can help Nickel plan the bachelor party?” I doubted Nickel had even thought about it yet. It had only been a day since Wrecker had basically twisted his arm to do it.
“Blah.” Nikki shook her head. “He can figure that out on his own.” She sighed and clicked her pen. “You may have decided the main thing we are going to do, but I can handle all of the small details.”
“Nikki,” I whispered. “We’re bowling and eating junk food. I don’t know what other details you need to plan.”
She waved her hand at me. “You don’t need to worry about that.” She jumped up and clutched the notebook to her chest. “I’m taking things from here. All you need to do is get dolled up on the eighteenth and be ready to have the time of your life.”
“No strippers,” I warned. “I’m not into helicoptering while I eat my nachos and pizza.”
Nikki tipped her head to the side. “I don’t... Do you think...” She shook her head and closed her eyes. “I don’t even know what to say.”
“Alice has been your friend this long, and you’re still shocked by what she says?” Wrecker chuckled.
“I don’t think you can ever get used being Alice’s friend. She keeps you on your toes.”
“I guess the same goes for being her man.” Wrecker pointed at Nikki. “You know anything about Miller Farms?”
Nikki’s eyes bugged out, and she stared at me. “No, not at all. I’ve never even heard of that farm out on Ponds road.”
I closed my eyes and sighed.
“Yeah, I bet you haven’t,” Wrecker grumbled.
“I’m gonna go make some phone calls,” Nikki chirped. “Holler if you need me.” She flitted back down the hallway.
“Babe,” Wrecker called.
“Hmm?” I opened my eyes and focused on the movie.
“You can do whatever you want for your bachelorette party.”
I tipped my head back and looked up at him. “I know that.”
“If you want some guys swinging their dicks around, go for it.”
I wrinkled my nose. “I mean, I know that is what a normal bachelorette party is like, but I don’t really want that. I’d much rather have your dick swinging around, but no one else can see it.”
“So you want me to be your personal stripper?”
“I mean, you already are, so I might as well just go bowling and eat junk food for my bachelorette party, right? I can come home tipsy and have my way with you then.”
“If I’m home from my bachelor party,” he countered.
I pouted out my bottom lip. “You do know the same rule applies to you, right? No touching.” I fully expected Nickel to go to some strip club and blow a load of money. I didn’t like it, but it was what it was. I trusted Wrecker.
“I know, babe. I wouldn’t ask you to do something and then do the exact opposite.”
“So what’s good for the goose is good for the gander, then.”
Wrecker leaned down and pressed a kiss to my lips. “Exactly, babe.”
I sighed and closed my eyes. “I love you, beardilocks.”
“And I love you, crazy woman.”
“And since I love you so much, I think that I can tell you that I really don’t want you to have strippers because I’m a jealous bitch who doesn’t want any women around you that look better than me.”
“Then you shouldn’t worry about the strippers or any other woman, Alice.” He gathered me in his arms and pulled me into his lap. “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on.”
“Is that so?” I whispered. I wrapped my arms around his neck.
“That is the fucking truth, babe. You’re it for me. Ain’t no stripper, hooker, or woman walking down the street can hold a candle to you.”
“The fact you categorize women into those three categories is a little funny. Stripper, hooker, or woman walking down the street.” I mean, I guess it did cover pretty much any woman. “Which one would I fall into?”
“The woman I love,” he replied simply.
“It works.”
“We probably have about half an hour before Kingston wakes up,” Wrecker whispered.
“You think so?” Kingston finally went down for his nap an hour ago, and he was normally out for at least an hour and a half.
Wrecker nodded.
“But he’s asleep in his crib in your room.”
“Our room,” he growled.
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. The main point is the baby is sleeping where we could be having a little fun.”
“We can improvise.”
“We are not doing it out here, Wrecker. I’m not some club girl you can toss over the back of the couch.”
He wiggled his eyebrows. “That’s not what you said last week.”
I slapped his chest. “We were at home,” I hissed. “You do that to me here, and anyone could walk in on us. I’ll kiss you, and then I’ll make you a sandwich.”
“You think a kiss and a sandwich is going to be good enough for me?” he growled.
I knew it wouldn’t be, but I would make it up to him later. “Once we get home and give Kingston a bath after dinner, it’s just you and me, big boy.”
“You had me until you called me big boy, woman.”
I rolled my eyes and slipped off the couch. “Let me get you that sandwich.”
“Hey,” Wrecker called. “I didn’t get my kiss.”
I laughed and walked into the kitchen. “Tonight.”
Wrecker mumbled under his breath and laid down on the couch. “You’re making a lot of promises, babe. I hope you’re not writing checks that your ass can’t cash.”
I grabbed the loaf of bread and pulled out three slices. “Pretty sure I talk a big game, and I can back it up.”
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I saw a notification from the baby monitor.
“I got him,” Wrecker called. He hadn’t liked the idea of a motion detector baby monitor when I had bought it, but it really was a lifesaver. Kingston could sleep without us being close by, but we got a notification as soon as he moved.
“Maybe he’s just rolling over,” I wished.
Wrecker grunted. “His eyes are open, babe.”
“I can get him.”
Wrecker shook his head and stood. “He’s my boy, and I can get him from a nap, Alice.”
“Whatever,” I grumbled. “He’s going to need a diaper change.”
“And?” Wrecker drawled.
“And I’m not going to come running in there when you find out he pooped.” Kingston always woke up from his nap with a diaper full nine times out of ten.
“I got him. Just worry about making that sandwich and what we’re going to do tonight.”
I opened the fridge and grabbed the mayo and lunchmeats. “Yeah, yeah.” I half wished Kingston had a huge blowout, and Wrecker would have to break out the clothespin to plug his nose. “I’ll woo you tonight.”
Wrecker chuckled and headed down the hallway to Kingston.
Maybe I would break out our matching cow print onesies and just see where the night led.
Wrecker wasn’t going to know what hit him.
As usual.
Wrecker
“Put it on.”
I shook my head and grabbed a beer from the fridge. “No thanks.”
“I bought it for you,” Alice insisted.
“I am not going to wear that thing on our wedding day. I told the guys they didn’t have to wear some fucking penguin suit, and I’m not going to go back on that. No.”
She looked at the cow print suit jacket. “Well, you’re not going to go back on your word because I’m not asking them to wear it; I’m asking you.”
“I’m wearing my cut, Alice. You know that.”
“But this would match my dress.”
I looked at the tan and white cow print in her hand. I wasn’t surprised Alice was going to be walking down the aisle in cow print. I was surprised she wanted me to wear it. “You’ve got a better chance at getting me in that cow print onesie you bought me than that suit jacket.”
She held it out to me. “You would rather wear head-to-toe cow print than this jacket?”
“Uh, yeah. That onesie is at least comfortable.”
Her eyes bugged out. “This is a jacket, Wrecker. What exactly is uncomfortable about that? You have your leather jacket with the club splashed all over the back that you wear. I don’t really see the difference.”
“The difference is that it is a suit jacket, and my club jacket is made of leather and worn in. I would be okay with that. I would prefer to wear my cut, but if Alice wanted me in my leather jacket, I could do that. “I could wear my club jacket if you want.”
She huffed and dropped the jacket. “You are insane. I’m going to be in the most beautiful dress, and you’re going to be in clothes you wear every day. How is that special to you?”
“What I wear isn’t what is going to make the day special. The day is going to be special because you are I are getting married and promising to be together until the day we die.”
“And you can’t promise that to me while you wear this jacket?” she retorted.
“Not if you want me to actually be thinking of you and not dreaming of ripping that damn thing off.”
“You know you’re a stubborn man, Wrecker. You wearing this jacket isn’t that bad.”
“And me wearing my cut isn’t that bad either.”
She tossed the jacket on the back of the couch and growled. “You’re impossible.”
“And so are you for even thinking that I would say yes.”
She stomped into the kitchen and yanked open the fridge. “You’re getting another sandwich, and then I’m going to bed.” She slammed the door shut and smiled at me. “Alone.”
I tsked and shook my head. “You do that, and your mouth is writing checks you can’t cash.”
She laid her hand on her forehead and sighed. “I think I feel a headache coming on. You know how I get when that happens.”
“Yeah, it means you’re plum full of shit.” She was going to try and use that damn jacket against me, but it wasn’t going to work. I grabbed the keys to my truck and held the button on the key fob. “I guess I’ll just leave you to rest for the night.”
Alice’s mouth dropped, and she glanced out the front window at my truck that started. “You’re leaving.”
“Kingston is down for the night, and since you have a headache, I’ll go take care of a few things I need to get done.”
“What?” she gasped. “You’re actually leaving?”
I nodded and grabbed my cut and shrugged it on. “I’ll be back in a bit.”
I opened the door and stepped out into the brisk night. It was barely eight o’clock, and it was pitch blackout.
“Wrecker, you better not leave me here like this!” she shouted.
I glanced back in the house and laughed. “You’re the one who said they had a headache, Alice. I’m just giving you some peace and quiet.”
