Chapter Four

  Lainey

  “So, what’s the verdict after week three at Mt. Pleasant High School?”

  Lottie laid her head back on the headrest and sighed like she had just completed a triathlon. “I mean… it was pretty good.”

  I couldn’t help but smile as I looked over at her. Lottie being happy was all I had ever wanted. “Yeah?”

  She turned her head to face me and grinned. “Yes, Mom. It was good, and it’s going to be even better once I take my test to get my learner’s permit.”

  “What?” I squeaked, nearly swerving into the next lane.

  Lottie burst out laughing. “Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. You agreed that once we got settled, we’d go to the DMV.”

  Unfortunately, she wasn’t wrong.

  I had said that. But in my defense, I’d assumed “settled” would take much longer. I figured I’d have time to get used to the idea of my baby sitting behind the wheel of a car.

  I had been very, very wrong.

  The house was unpacked, our things were in all the right places, and the fridge was full. Hell, even the junk drawer was organized, which I considered the final boss of moving in. Lottie was thriving in school, and we hadn’t had a single emergency run to Target in over a week. We were settled.

  “Mom,” Lottie said slowly, “the longer I wait to take the test, the more I’m going to forget. I took driver’s ed back in Oklahoma.”

  “And we still need to find out if that counts in Texas.”

  Lottie smirked like she had been waiting for that. “Already googled it. I’m a-okay to go.” She waved her phone at me triumphantly. “All we need to do is call and make an appointment, and then I’ll be the one driving us around.”

  I merged into the turning lane and headed toward home, trying to suppress the full-body wave of anxiety. “I’ll call... soon.”

  Lottie getting her learner’s permit was big. Huge. It meant that my baby wasn’t a baby anymore. Once she got her license, I’d be relegated to the passenger seat—and then eventually, not even that.

  “How about Monday?” she suggested casually, like she hadn’t just aged me a decade with her last sentence.

  “Next Monday, or Monday in, like, seven weeks?” I asked, lifting an eyebrow.

  She rolled her eyes. “Monday as in today is Thursday, and you will be calling the DMV in three days.”

  “Not in seven weeks?” I teased, trying to delay the inevitable.

  “Mom,” she groaned, “you have to let me grow up a little bit.”

  “Driving is more than growing up a little bit. It’s like... full-blown grown-up territory.”

  “It’s just my learner’s permit. A baby step,” she reasoned. “You’ll get used to me driving with you, and then…”

  “And then you’ll drive on your own, and I’ll never see you again.”

  “Oh boy,” she laughed. “I think you’re being a little dramatic, Mom.”

  I was. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t right.

  “I’ll call the DMV on Monday and get you scheduled,” I said, pulling onto our street.

  “Promise?” she asked, eyes wide with hope.

  I nodded. “I promise I’ll call.” I didn’t promise that I’d schedule it for anytime soon, but that was a problem for future me.

  We pulled into the driveway, the gravel crunching under the tires, and I tapped the garage remote clipped to the visor. The door groaned and rattled its way up. I eased the car inside and hit the button again to shut it.

  Lottie unbuckled and grabbed her backpack while I grabbed my purse. Inside, the house welcomed us with its usual quiet warmth. It might have taken a lot of sweat and one unfortunate hammer-to-finger incident, but this house finally felt like home.

  Lottie set her bag on the kitchen island and collapsed onto one of the stools.

  I went straight for the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water and the container of sliced watermelon and strawberries I’d cut up last night. I set them in front of her and leaned against the counter.

  “Do you have a lot of homework?”

  Lottie nodded as she cracked open the water bottle. “Geometry and English. I have to read the first two chapters of The Catcher in the Rye.”

  I cringed. “Oof. I always hated that one.”

  Lottie laughed. “That bad?”

  “I mean, I would much rather read something with a little steam.” I winked, and she made a face.

  “Mom, ew.”

  “Just being honest.”

  She popped a strawberry into her mouth, then looked at me with a little more hesitation. “So... I have another question.”

  She had already convinced me to schedule her permit test. What else was she planning to strong-arm me into?

  “Hit me with it.”

  “Tiff, Julie, and Desi asked if I could go to the movies with them Saturday night and then spend the night at Tiff’s.”

  My eyes widened.

  “It’s not a school night,” she rushed to add, “and I promise to be home by noon on Sunday. We can go to the farmers market Saturday morning like you wanted, and then you could drop me off at Tiff’s.”

  The immediate answer on the tip of my tongue was no. I didn’t want to say it, but it was there.

  She had friends. Good ones, from the sounds of it. That was what I wanted, right?

  But sleepovers? At a new house with parents I hadn’t met?

  “Just the four of you?” I asked, trying to keep my tone casual.

  Lottie nodded. “Yup. They want to have a girls’ night.”

  “No boys?”

  She shook her head. “As far as I know, no. And if there are, I’ll let you know right away and then kick them in the nuts while I run away.”

  I choked out a laugh. “Okay, I don’t think you need to go that far. But I would like to know if your party of four expands.”

  Lottie held up her hand in a mock salute. “I swear I will tell you if it’s more than the four of us.”

  “I’m going to want to meet Tiff’s parents when I drop you off.”

  “Totally,” she nodded.

  Lottie was a good kid. She’d never given me a real reason not to trust her. I had to let her go have fun, even if that fun didn’t include me.

  I narrowed my eyes at her. “Did you throw in the farmers market to soften me up?”

  She gave an exaggerated shrug. “Maybe. Did it work?”

  I rolled my eyes and opened the fruit container. “It did. But for the record, I would have said yes without it.”

  Lottie squealed and hopped off the stool to hug me. I wrapped my arms around her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. She smelled like strawberries and shampoo.

  “I’m gonna work on my geometry before dinner,” she said, slinging her backpack over her shoulder. “Thanks for letting me stay at Tiff’s.”

  I nodded and watched her walk down the hallway toward her room. She was humming, light on her feet, completely at ease in this new life of ours.

  And I… wasn’t.

  I turned back to the kitchen island and leaned on my elbows, letting out a long breath.

  Life had been changing fast lately.

  The divorce had knocked the wind out of me. Not because I didn’t see it coming, but because even when you’re braced for impact, it still hurts when you hit the ground.

  Then Maggie died. My best friend. My constant. That loss hadn’t been braced for at all. It had just been a blindside, and I was still reeling from it.

  Now Lottie was growing up faster than I could process. She was making friends, asking to go to movies and sleepovers, ready to drive and leave the nest, piece by piece.

  And I was still… me.

  Still figuring out who I was when I wasn’t someone’s wife or someone’s daughter or even just Lottie’s mom. I would always be her mom, but I was realizing I needed something else too. A hobby. A passion. A way to feel like I wasn’t just watching life from the sidelines.

  I looked around our kitchen—bright and airy, the fruit bowl full, the paint samples still taped to the wall. It was a good house. A good start.

  But it was time I figured out what came next for me.

  Chapter Five

  Dice

  “You ever think things are gonna go back to the way they were before this whole Boone and Gibbs shit?” Aero dropped onto the barstool next to me with a tired groan.

  Pirate was behind the bar, drying a glass with a rag that had seen better days. He didn’t say anything—just grabbed two beers from the fridge and popped the tops before sliding them across the bar to us.

  “Dinner in ten minutes!” Adalee called from the kitchen. I could already smell the tacos. My stomach answered before I did.

  I grabbed my beer and took a long pull before answering Aero. “You mean normal when we ate frozen pizza every night?”

  He chuckled and rubbed a hand over his jaw. “Yeah, I don’t want to go that far back. I just mean back to where we could leave the clubhouse without making sure we’re packing and lookin’ over our shoulders every step.”

  I glanced around the clubhouse. The walls were the same, the bar was the same, hell, even Yarder’s “No puking in the sink” sign was the same—but we weren’t. Not after everything with Boone and Gibbs. “Yeah,” I said with a nod. “That would be nice to get away from. But I’d still like to keep the three meals a day cooked by Adalee.”

  “Facts,” Aero muttered with a grin. “I’m also pretty fond of Sloane keeping my bed warm.”

  Pirate, ever the wiseass, leaned on the bar. “Seeing as she is your wife, you might want to move that above having home-cooked meals.”

  I shrugged and smiled into my beer. “Food is at the top of my list.”

  “That’s because you’re the only one here who doesn’t have an ol’ lady,” Pirate said pointedly.

  And I was more than okay with that.

  Right now, all I could think about was Stretch and whatever hell he’d crawled into to try and save the club. I didn’t know what kind of deal he’d made or what line he’d crossed, but I couldn’t get it out of my head that he was doing it to protect us. Protect the club.

  But that didn’t mean it wasn’t tearing me apart.

  I hadn’t called him again. Couldn’t. Wouldn’t. I had no idea if that last call had gotten him in deeper or maybe painted a target on his back.

  “Dice!”

  Yarder’s voice thundered across the common room. I turned on the stool and dreaded whatever fresh hell was coming my way.

  “Oh hell,” I muttered and took a long sip before I turned fully to face him. “Yeah?” I called.

  “You’re off the hook with Leo and Brynn,” he said and crossed his arms as he stood in the doorway to the hallway. “Leo was only available to text, so I let him know what you did.”

  He said I was off the hook, but the vein in his temple told me I was anything but. “Okay,” I replied cautiously.

  “Stretch just got three weeks to figure out whatever the fuck he’s trying to do before they move on Boone and Gibbs.” Yarder’s jaw clenched. “And Stretch, too.”

  My stomach tightened.

  “And what happens if Boone and Gibbs move before then?” Aero asked.

  “Then Leo and Brynn will move faster,” Yarder growled, eyes locking onto mine like twin lasers. “You better be right about Stretch.”

  And then he turned on his heel and disappeared down the hallway.

  I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and turned back to Aero. “You know one more thing I wouldn’t mind going back to the way it was before Boone and Gibbs?”

  “What’s that?”

  “Yarder.”

  Aero laughed under his breath. “Yeah?”

  “I don’t remember him being such a…”

  “Asshole?” Pirate offered.

  “Dick?” Aero chimed in.

  I pointed between them. “Yeah. Both of those. You’d think having Poppy around would’ve mellowed him out.”

  Aero shook his head. “Nah. With each ol’ lady, Yarder has one more person to keep safe. Pretty sure he’s at his wits’ end. You getting an ol’ lady would likely send him over the edge.”

  I scoffed. “No plans on that, brother.” There hadn’t been a woman in years who had even turned my head to want to keep them around for longer than a night.

  Well, that had been true a week ago. Before Lainey popped back into my life.

  Lainey hadn’t texted.

  Hadn’t called.

  Not that I expected her to. But a part of me had hoped she would. That maybe something I said would’ve stuck. That maybe I’d mattered just a little in the mess she’d come out of. But I wasn’t gonna push her.

  If she ever wanted to see me again… I’d be here. She just had to call me.

  Until then, I had shit to handle. Like keeping Stretch alive.

  Sloane appeared behind Aero and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Hello, handsome,” she sang, swaying slightly on her feet.

  Aero didn’t even flinch. “Where do you want to go now?”

  “The farmers market,” she said, completely unsurprised by his tone. “No point in denying it.”

  “Just you?” Aero asked, already knowing the answer.

  “Well,” Sloane sighed dramatically, “I’m pretty sure Adalee, Fallon, and Poppy want to go too.”

  I grinned and leaned back on the stool. “Once the rest of the girls find out y’all are leaving the clubhouse, you know they’re all gonna want to tag along.”

  This right here—this was why I didn’t have an ol’ lady. Sure, I helped where I could, ran backup for the girls when they needed it, but at the end of the day, I didn’t have to wrangle anyone full-time.

  Aero narrowed his eyes at me. “Yeah, and then you can come along to help.”

  I shook my head fast. “Nah, I think it should be a one-to-one ratio. If your ol’ lady goes, you go.”

  “Which means…?” Pirate asked.

  I smirked. “My ass is staying right here.”

  “Dinner!” Adalee’s voice floated from the kitchen again.

  Aero looked at Sloane. “I’ll run it by Yarder.”

  She smiled and kissed his cheek. “Poppy’s already talking to him. Just a formality.” She winked. “It opens at seven, but if we get there by eight, we’ll still get the good stuff.” And with that, she floated off again like a fairy in ripped jeans.

  “There’s good stuff at a farmers market?” I asked, raising a brow.

  Aero just shrugged. “God fucking knows, brother.”

  I stood up and stretched, cracking my shoulders. “Yeah, well, I guess you’re gonna find out tomorrow.”

  Aero flipped me off.

  I made my way toward the kitchen with the smell of seasoned beef and tortillas making my stomach growl.

  Adalee stood at the island and dished out tacos faster than a machine. I grabbed a plate and loaded up five of them—ground beef, cheese, lettuce, diced tomatoes, onions, salsa, sour cream. I was one scoop of guac away from structural failure.

  “I don’t think you can fit one more thing on your plate, Dice,” Adalee teased, grinning at the sight of me trying not to drop anything.

  “That’s because your food is too damn good,” I said, carefully turning away from the counter like I was balancing a bomb. “I gotta get as much as I can.”

  She laughed and waved me off.

  I walked out into the common room, where guys were already finding seats—on the couches, the recliners, the bar stools, wherever there was space.

  I sat down at the long table with Aero, Pirate, and Cue Ball, who was busy shoving half a taco in his mouth.

  Across the room, Poppy was dragging Yarder into the common room, Fallon was sitting on the floor with Harley and Davidson begging for a scrap of, well, anything, and Dove was balancing her plate in her lap while she flipped through TV channels looking for something to watch.

  I looked around, chewing slowly, and let it hit me all at once.

  I wanted shit to go back to normal too. But not all the way back.

  This?

  This I didn’t want to change.

  Sure, I didn’t have an ol’ lady. But having all the girls around brought a vibe to the clubhouse that was different. Lighter. Warmer. It always felt like family here—but now it felt like home.

  And that wasn’t something I was willing to give up. Not even for normalcy.

  I didn’t know what was going to happen with Stretch.

  Didn’t know what the hell Lainey was thinking.

  But I knew this—right here, tacos in hand, surrounded by brothers and women who gave a damn—this was worth fighting to keep.

  And that was enough for me.

  Chapter Six

  Lainey

  “Please.”

  “You need to get a job,” I said, and eyed the silver anklet Lottie had just held up to the sun like it was treasure.

  Lottie rolled her eyes. “Just as soon as I get my license.”

  I pursed my lips with my arms crossed over my chest. “I’ll buy you the anklet if you don’t get your license until you’re twenty.”

  Lottie snorted and put the anklet back on the rack. “I don’t really need it.”

  Damn.

  I glanced at her as she wandered to the next stall, then reached out and plucked the anklet from the rack. While she admired handmade soaps a table over, I paid the vendor and tucked the little bag into my pocket.

  Lottie was already halfway to the next tent by the time I caught up.

  “I’m going to get my license, Mom,” she said as she fingered a crocheted turtle in shades of sage green and cream at the next booth.

  “I know,” I murmured, but I could feel the tug behind my ribs.

  We were at the Mt. Pleasant Farmers Market, and so far it had not disappointed. We’d already been back to the car once to unload the mountain of produce we’d bought, and now we were hauling two more bags apiece. Every stall we passed had something we didn’t know we wanted until we saw it—fresh pastries, handmade jewelry, potted succulents in coffee mugs, and now, apparently, the cutest crocheted animals I’d ever laid eyes on.

 

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