An Amish Christmas Match, page 21
Later, when all the work had finally been completed, everyone trooped in and took their seats for supper.
As Kish served himself some of the cheesy chicken and dumplings with bacon that Phoebe had prepared, he inhaled deeply. “This smells wunderbaar.” Then he glanced at Phoebe. “What are you planning to cook for Christmas dinner—a ham or a goose?”
Before Phoebe could answer Seth spoke up. “We’ll be having Christmas lunch with Aenti Hilda’s familye this year.”
Mark looked up at that. “I thought we’d have Christmas lunch here since we have Phoebe and Aenti Edna with us.”
This time Phoebe spoke up. “But I won’t be here for Christmas. I’m returning to Bergamot on Tuesday to spend Christmas with my familye and won’t be back until Friday morning.”
“But that means you’ll miss the Christmas program.” Jesse seemed both disappointed and accusatory.
“I’m for sure and for certain sorry that I’ll miss the program but I promised my eldre I’d spend Christmas at home with them.” She looked toward Kish. “I’m sure your aenti will have a very fine dinner for you and I’ll be happy to bake a cake or a couple of pies for you to bring.”
Kish didn’t seem appeased by that. “But I—”
Seth cut off whatever protest his bruder was about to make. “Enough, Kish. Phoebe gave her word to her eldre that she would be home for Christmas and it’s not proper to ask her to break her promise.”
Phoebe tried again to appease them. “You’ll have Edna here and you’ll have lots of familye to visit, so you won’t be lacking for either food or company.”
No one at the table seemed happy with that answer, including Phoebe, but she’d given her word and she wouldn’t go back on it.
No matter how much she might want to.
Phoebe barely slept Saturday night. Though she knew the house was ready for the service tomorrow she wasn’t sure that she was ready.
During one of her middle-of-the-night bouts of staring up at her darkened ceiling, Phoebe had decided that it actually made sense for Edna to stand in as hostess rather than her. After all, Edna was actually part of the familye and she wasn’t. And if she hadn’t hurt her hand, Edna would be in charge and Phoebe wouldn’t even be here. So first thing when she got up she would let Edna know.
When she woke up for the third time and saw it was just under an hour before the time she normally rose, she decided to get up. But before she even sat up she paused to offer up a prayer of thanks and petition.
Gotte, Who is the creator of all things, Whose power is immense but Who concerns Himself with the smallest details of our lives, I am truly grateful to have been able to prepare to receive the gmay into this home.
Please, if it be Your will, help me to get through this day in such a manner that it will not embarrass the Beiler familye and that the gmay can focus their thoughts on worship of You rather than any mistakes I may make.
When she finally got out of bed she dressed quietly and quickly, her mind already swirling with thoughts of what needed to be done before people started arriving for the service.
She stepped into the kitchen to find she wasn’t the only one up extra early. Seth stood by the counter, kettle in hand, making a pot of coffee.
He looked up when she stepped in the room. “Gut matin.”
“Gut matin.” She plucked the apron from its hook on the wall and tied the strings behind her back. “I thought for once that I’d be the first one up this morning.”
Seth grinned. “You’ll have to try harder.”
Phoebe went straight to the stove and turned the oven on. She planned to make a breakfast casserole with potatoes, eggs, cheese, peppers and sausage. Something that she could cook now and keep warm until the familye was ready to eat.
As she cracked the eggs into a bowl, she kept having to fish out pieces of eggshell. If her nerves didn’t settle down soon she’d for sure and for certain make a mess of things. And to make matters worse Seth was still in the kitchen. Hopefully he hadn’t noticed her clumsy handling of the eggs.
She heard him place his cup in the sink and cross the kitchen, headed for the mudroom. To her surprise he paused by her side.
She looked up to meet his gaze and his expression was warm and supportive.
He touched her arm briefly. “Don’t worry yourself, all will be well.”
And then he was gone.
She stood there a few moments, just staring at his back until he’d stepped outside. That had been so unexpected, so kind.
She went back to work and there were no further problems with pieces of shell in the bowl or other signs of nervous clumsiness.
Edna arrived in the kitchen a few minutes later and Phoebe immediately relayed her idea about Edna serving as hostess.
“Nonsense,” was Edna’s immediate response. “You said you could handle preparing the house for the service and part of that is ensuring everything in the house goes well, including greeting our guests.” She gave Phoebe a stern look. “You can’t do that by retreating into the shadows. Do you want to be viewed as a capable adult or not?”
Feeling properly chastised, Phoebe dropped the subject.
“Now,” Edna said, “since I’m no help to you here I’ll go check on the boys and make sure they straighten their rooms properly before they come down.”
The rest of the Beilers appeared soon after and all grabbed coffee before they headed out to do Sunday-morning chores.
They were back for a quick breakfast and then headed out again for last-minute checks to make sure the drive and parking area were ready to handle all the buggies and horses that would soon fill the free spaces around the place.
Thirty minutes before the first of their neighbors would likely arrive Seth and his brieder were properly dressed for Sunday service and were in place, ready to help their neighbors park their buggies and tend to their animals as they arrived.
The first arrival was Edna’s shveshtah Trudy and her familye. While Trudy and her three dechder joined her and Edna in the house, the menfolk headed for the spacious, cleared and freshly cleaned barn.
“We have two apple pies, a gingersnap pie and a shoofly pie,” Trudy said before they’d even shed their coats. “Where would you like us to put them?”
Phoebe waved a hand toward the kitchen. “In here.” She led the way and had them set their desserts on the expanded kitchen table.
They had just done so when Hilda and her familye arrived. They also came bearing pies. As soon as they entered the house, Hilda turned to two of the women with her. “This is my dochder Zilla and her friend Fannie and Fannie’s dochder Beth. They arrived here in Sweetbrier Creek yesterday afternoon.”
Exchanging greetings, Phoebe did her best not to stare at the woman who’d come here to meet Seth with the hopes of marrying him. Fannie was a pretty woman, with cornsilk-blond hair and deep-blue eyes. She had a heart-shaped face, a pleasant smile and an air of quiet confidence about her. Her daughter was a mini version of herself with a sweet touch of shyness.
“Where would you like these?” Hilda’s question brought Phoebe back to the present.
“Ach, I’m sorry. Please, kum this way.”
It wasn’t long before the living room and kitchen were filled with women and girls milling about in shifting clusters, visiting with one another. More pies had shown up as well and now the kitchen table practically groaned under the weight.
Even as she mingled among the other women, Phoebe was aware of Fannie wherever she was. The woman was personable, friendly and well received.
At some point Margaret and Constance arrived and Phoebe was delighted to renew her acquaintance with them. She was pleased to find that Constance didn’t treat her any differently, even after Jesse’s artless reveal of her shortcomings. These were two girls she could see herself forming long-term friendships with if she didn’t live so far away.
All available chairs had been placed in the living room so there would be seating for those who wanted it prior to the start of service and some of the elderly and women carrying bopplin had taken advantage of that.
At the appropriate time, Phoebe lined up with the single women and headed into the basement and took her place on one of the benches.
After the service was over the ladies returned to the kitchen to get the food ready while the men worked on converting the benches to tables for the meal.
Baskets of bread, pitchers of tea, water and lemonade, bowls of peanut butter spread, cheese spread and pickles, along with bologna and bowls of coleslaw with apples and raisins mixed in were transported downstairs.
Fannie pitched in along with everyone else. She was helpful and moved with confidence and efficiency. It made Phoebe feel clumsy by comparison. In fact, when Phoebe had a near accident, knocking her elbow against a large pitcher of water, Fannie was right there to set it to rights before it could spill. She couldn’t help but like the woman and she could easily picture Seth liking her as well.
And she couldn’t find it in herself to take joy in that.
After the meal was over and the dishes and food had been cleared, Phoebe spotted Zilla taking Fannie over to introduce her to Seth. After a few minutes, Zilla walked away, leaving the couple to speak alone.
Phoebe forced herself to look away. She had no business spying on their activity. But she couldn’t shut off her imagination.
She went back inside and grabbed a damp dishrag. It wouldn’t hurt to give the counters an additional scrubbing.
She was still at it a few minutes later when Edna walked in.
“I believe those counters are probably clean enough,” she said mildly. “Don’t you think you should be visiting with our guests and getting to know the people of this community better?”
“Why? I’ll be gone in a few weeks anyway.” Phoebe mentally winced when she heard the sulky tone in her voice.
Edna put a fist on her hip and her eyes narrowed. “Phoebe Kropf, what kind of talk is that? Are you feeling sorry for yourself?”
So what if she was? Didn’t she have a right to feel that way occasionally? But she kept her thoughts to herself.
Edna shook her head. “Were you not taught to be thankful for what you have and not to look to what others have?”
Phoebe stopped going through the motions of cleaning and placed both hands on the counter. “Jah. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m so out of sorts.”
“Don’t you?”
What did that mean?
Then Edna straightened. “Don’t worry about the future. Gotte will work things out for the gut.”
And before Phoebe could form a response, Edna was gone.
Chapter 32
Seth strolled beside Fannie, unsure how to open the conversation. When she remained silent he decided to start slowly. “Is this your first trip to Sweetbrier Creek?”
“Jah. But I’ve known Zilla ever since she moved to Franklin five years ago.” She didn’t expand on that, apparently content to let him carry the conversation.
“Zilla was quite complimentary about you.”
“She had many gut things to say about you as well.”
This stilted small talk was going nowhere. He finally decided to get down to business. “Since we both know why Zilla brought you here,” he said with a self-deprecating smile, “perhaps we should move past the small talk.”
Fannie returned his smile. “I do prefer to be direct.”
“Gut. Then perhaps you should tell me what you are looking for in a marriage.”
“Of course.” She raised her chin. “First and foremost, I’m not necessarily looking for a love match—I had that with my Thomas. More important to me is to find someone who will be a gut daed to my Beth. I know you’ve raised five brieder so I take that as a gut sign.” She cut him a sideways glance. “But little girls are different. How do you feel about raising a shteef-dochder?”
“While I’ll admit I don’t know anything about raising a dochder, I think a little girl would be a welcome addition to our household. If we were to marry, I would do all I could to make sure she would be happy there. As for her being a shteef-dochder, I was the shteef-suh to a man who set a wonderful gut example of what a shteef-daed should be.”
She smiled. “That does speak well for you. The only other thing I require is that any man I marry be someone I can respect, someone who will respect me, who will allow me to care for our household as I think best. And of course, someone who will provide a sense of security for me and Beth.”
“Those are all reasonable, straightforward requests and should be something any Gotte-fearing man would give his fraa without being asked.”
She relaxed slightly. “And what is it you require of a fraa?”
Seth waved a hand. “Like you, I want whomever I marry to be someone I can respect and be respected by. She would also need to treat my brieder as if they were members of her own familye. But I am mainly looking for a helpmeet who is willing to manage many of the responsibilities of our household so I can focus my attention on my other work.”
“Those are also reasonable requests.” Fannie followed as he changed direction. “Rest assured that I know my duty when it comes to running a household. It will actually be gut to be in charge of a home again. And I have no desire to interfere in your work.”
Something she’d just said caught his attention. “Do you mind if I ask what your living situation is now?”
“I live with my oldest bruder and his familye. They have a large home and Beth and I are happy there. But it isn’t the same as having one’s own home, ain’t so?” Then she dropped her gaze. “Forgive me for speaking plainly, but I believe we should be open and honest with each other if we are to make this work. I know I said I wasn’t looking for a love match but I would like to have a few more bopplin if Gotte is willing.”
Seth cleared his throat. “I, too, would like to have kinner someday.”
That won him a soft smile. Then she turned serious again. “What do you see as our next steps?”
Seth paused a moment before answering.
Fannie apparently interpreted his hesitation as rejection. “Don’t worry if you’ve decided an arrangement between us won’t work. Beth and I are comfortable and secure with the way things are now and will continue to be so if nothing changes.” Her tone and expression were still matter of fact, as if they were discussing the weather.
“I haven’t decided any such thing. In fact I haven’t decided anything at all. What I was thinking was that we’ve only had this one short interaction and I haven’t even met your dochder yet to see how she’ll respond to me.”
“I preferred to form my own opinion before I introduced you and Beth to each other.”
Her caution with her dochder’s well-being was admirable. “Of course. But I believe we should spend a little more time together while you’re here in Sweetbrier Creek before we decide whether we want to take this any further or not.”
“Oh.” Her brow furrowed. “To be honest from what Zilla told me I expected you to be more decisive.”
Her words caught him off guard. She thought him indecisive because he didn’t make a life-changing decision based on a fifteen-minute discussion?
“But if you need a little more time,” she continued, “then of course you shall have it. I’ll be in Sweetbrier Creek for a week.”
“Danke.” He heard the stiffness in his voice but it didn’t seem to disturb her.
She stopped and he paused alongside her. “Now that we’ve settled that perhaps I should return to the house. I want to check on Beth.”
“Of course.” He swept a hand toward the house and walked with her part of the way back.
Then they parted ways—she proceeded to the house while he turned toward the barn where a cluster of men were involved in what looked to be an animated discussion.
He had found Fannie to be everything Zilla had promised. She was confident and practical, and didn’t care much for small talk. She moved with a deliberate kind of grace that he admired and she was lovely in both face and form. She was plain-spoken and he hadn’t noticed much display of emotion in her tone or demeanor during their conversation. The widow seemed to know exactly what she wanted out of life.
Including additional kinner.
He had no doubt that his home would run smoothly and efficiently if placed in her hands. He could only assume that her disappointment in his reluctance to make a quick decision meant she’d already made up her own mind to at least pursue the idea of a match.
So why was he hesitating?
The thing was, when she’d asked him what he wanted out of a marriage he’d answered based on his marriage to Dinah. He hadn’t really thought it through any further than that. He’d just assumed that since things worked out so well the first time around, that was the kind of fraa he needed—and wanted—again. But was that true?
Lately he’d come to appreciate how spontaneity, playfulness and looking at things from a fresh perspective could add a little extra joy and interest to one’s daily life.
And somehow he didn’t think those were things that would come naturally to Fannie.
When Zilla’s friend had talked of not looking for a love match, she’d elaborated, saying it was because she’d already had that with her first mann. He, on the other hand, had never experienced that emotion.
He’d never considered that a loss—he’d seen that kind of love between his mamm and his shteef-daed, a warm, binding, joyous thing. And he’d also seen how it had broken his shteef-daed when the object of that love was taken from him. To his sixteen-year-old mind that dependency, that vulnerability, had seemed much too big a price to pay.
But now he looked at people like Fannie and Edna and his onkel Samuel. They’d each had loving marriages from all appearances, and they’d each lost their spouse. And while he was sure they mourned their loss they hadn’t let it cripple them the way it had his shteef-daed. Edna had said once that she’d never once regretted her time with Ivan, even knowing how it would end.
