Cricket (Cricket Kendall Book 1), page 19
“There’s no point in having a bench seat if I can’t do this,” he says as he pulls me across the seat and against his side.
I laugh and snuggle into him as he puts his arm over the seat and around my shoulders. “That was cute.”
He nuzzles my hair and backs out of the driveway. We drive in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, but it doesn’t take long for my thoughts to settle on the word mate. It’s been bugging me so much. I can’t ignore it any longer.
“Hollis?” I pull my head off of his shoulder and bite my lip nervously. “What exactly is a mate?”
He tenses up and doesn’t answer me right away. “I don’t think Theo wants me to tell you.”
“What? Why?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugs uncomfortably. “I mean, he didn’t really say anything, but, uh, he’s our alpha, and I just got a feeling from him about it yesterday when we went to see Hawthorne.”
What? Now I’m even more confused. “I thought Hawthorne was your alpha.”
“He is, but Theo’s an alpha too. After we graduate, or whenever he finds his mate, Theo, Cas, and I will branch off and form our own pack. Hawthorne’s second eldest son, Elias, is an alpha too. He has his own pack with his Ezra, Lettie, and his younger brother, Rainer.
“So, that’s what you guys are talking about when you say Theo is the leader of your group?” So many things are making sense now. Hollis nods. “But I don’t get it. Why isn’t Rylan an alpha? He’s the oldest, isn’t he?”
“It doesn’t really have anything to do with age. Cas and I are older than Theo by a few months. It’s just something they’re born with. That’s why we’ve always been so close. We’ve always known that the three of us would start our own pack together. Cas and I are Theo’s betas, but I outrank Cas.”
I think about all the weird things I’ve picked up on the last couple of days between them, and I feel like my brain is about to explode. “So, when Theo uses that weird voice, like when he tells you guys to do something, he’s being an alpha?”
Hollis grimaces. “I fucking hate when he does that. When he uses his alpha voice to issue a command, we’re not able to go against it. Even if it’s something stupid, like having to confess how much I embarrassed myself in front of a pretty girl.”
I smile at him, but I don’t really know how I feel about that. It sounds so mean and controlling. And then I realize something else.
“He’s fucking used it on me, hasn’t he!?”
He winces but nods all the same. “That’s how Cas and I knew you were a part of our pack. It shouldn’t work on anyone outside of us.”
“I don’t even know what to say to that right now. I think I’m pissed off, but I just don’t...” I glance over at him and glare. “And you’re totally getting off the subject. You still haven’t told me what a mate is!”
“Cricket—”
“Tell me, please!” I beg him, feeling slightly frantic. I have a pretty good idea already, but god, I just need him to fucking say it.
He flares his nostrils once and widens his eyes, still watching the road. “A mate is a wolf’s soul mate. Their equal in everything. Somebody that will make you stronger and better all around, that balances you perfectly. Back in the old days, it was more of an indicator of who would make the best partner to breed stronger wolves, but now it’s not so sexist. It’s more about strengthening your pack.”
My heart feels like it’s beating a million miles a minute. “Your parents are mates? And Ezra and Lettie?”
“Yes. Same with Hawthorne and Margot, Rylan and Elsa, Theo’s parents, and Cas’s parents.” Hollis smiles warmly.
“How do you choose a mate?”
Hollis hesitates and takes his eyes off the road for a split second to glance at me. “You, um, you don’t. It’s fate. Our magic chooses for us.”
“What? How can you...? You don’t even have a choice in who you spend your life with!?”
“It’s not a bad thing,” he says softly. “Our magic chooses our mate to be someone that is absolutely perfect for us. I’ve never met a wolf that wasn’t over the moon about who their mate was, or a mated pair that weren’t happy together.”
I think about the way I feel so connected to Hollis, Theo, and Cas and how surreal being with them feels. I feel slightly breathless. “Does it have to be another wolf?”
“Usually, yeah. It’s rare, but some wolves do mate with humans.”
I absentmindedly rub my fingers over my lips. “How do you know? Who your mate is?”
“Well,” he says, glancing sideways at me. “Most wolves just feel it, but we also get a mate mark that matches our mate’s when we turn sixteen.”
“Where’s yours?” I furrow my eyebrows.
He holds his wrist up in front of me. Looking closely, I see a small mark on his skin that almost looks like a rune. It’s faint, but now that I see it, I don’t think I’ll be able to miss it again.
I look down at my wrists and brush my fingers against my skin in the same areas where his mark is at. It feels like my heart is in my throat. In the most pathetic voice possible, I squeak, “I don’t have one...”
Hollis’s eyes widen in panic. “Cricket...”
I scoot away from him and stare out the window. We’ll be pulling up outside of the bookshop any second. I need to get up to my room to be with Stella. I focus on her and try to ignore the ringing in my ears. When we finally pull up in front of the shop, Hollis puts his hand on my shoulder before I can get out of the truck.
“Cricket, please—”
I cut him off. “So, to form your own pack, you either need to wait until graduation or wait until Theo meets his mate? And then, you and Cas…”
Hollis looks like he’s not sure what to say. I can’t meet his eyes any longer. I quickly mumble, “See you later.”
Before he can respond, I grab my backpack and jump out of the truck. I practically run into the bookshop. I barely acknowledge Paisley behind the register before I make my way upstairs to my bedroom. As soon as I see Stella sitting on my bed, I burst into tears. She jumps into my arms and snuggles against me as I collapse onto the bed.
I can barely form a complete and coherent thought. All I know for sure is that I’m going to lose them. Some other fucking female werewolves are going to swoop in and take them from me. And they’ll be perfect for each other. I feel absolutely devastated. I stare and rub at my wrists over and over. I don’t even know what I’m hoping to see. I can’t possibly think I’m soul mates with one of them. I barely know them, but the way I feel when I’m with all three of them…
Stella stays with me, comforting me until I’m calm enough to sit quietly and do my homework. To keep myself distracted, I finish all of my homework from yesterday and today. Theo and Hollis text me, but I ignore their messages. I know I’ll have to face them tomorrow, and I know I can’t be mad at them. It’s not their fault. I just need to be away from them tonight.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Theo
I’ve been running around with my dad and Hawthorne all afternoon. We got back to Hawthorne’s house a little while ago, and we’re finishing dinner. Cricket just texted me saying Hollis is taking her home. My phone rings in my pocket, and my heart speeds up, thinking it’s her. God, I miss her so much already. I’m grinning my ass off as I go to answer it. She must have missed me too if she’s calling me so soon after getting home.
But then I see Hollis’s name instead of Cricket’s. I’m annoyed and disappointed. I swear to fucking god, if he’s calling to brag about his afternoon with Cricket, or if he’s going to pull the same shit that Cas did earlier, trying to convince me to let him fuck her...
“What? What is it?” I know my voice sounds harsh, but I can’t get the image of Cricket and Hollis together out of my head.
“Theo, I...” Hollis sounds choked up.
“What’s wrong? Is Cricket okay? What happened?”
Hawthorne and my dad stop talking, and their focus turns to me.
“I think I fucked up...” Hollis mumbles.
I’m about to lose my fucking shit. I breathe angrily out of my nose, trying desperately to rein in my panic and anger. “Hollis, I swear to fucking god, if she’s hurt...”
“She’s fine! I mean, physically, but she’s really...fuck.”
“What did you do?” I snarl.
“She asked about mates, and I told her you’re an alpha. She could barely fucking look at me when I dropped her off. I think she’s really upset. I didn’t mean to upset her.”
Hawthorne grabs the phone out of my hand and tells Hollis to meet us here at his house. Without another word, he hangs up the phone and slips it into his pocket.
“Give me back my phone!” I snarl. “I need to talk to her.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “Do you really think that’s a good idea right now? You need to find out exactly what Hollis said and what upset her.”
The next ten minutes are absolute torture as I stand by the window and wait for Hollis to pull up. I tap my fingers nervously against my leg. Cricket knows I’m an alpha. That’s okay. She would have found out eventually, anyway. She can’t be upset about that, right? It has to be the mate thing.
Hollis arrives, and he takes his sweet fucking time getting out of his truck. Hawthorne puts his hand on my shoulder and commands me to stay right where I am. The rational part of my brain knows that’s probably a good idea. I’m so rattled, I would probably shift and push Hollis into a fight the moment I stepped outside.
As soon as Hollis walks in, he winces. “Theo, I didn’t mean—”
“Let’s step into my office and talk about this,” Hawthorne cuts him off.
Once we’re in Hawthorne’s office, he sits behind his desk and calmly waits for the rest of us. My dad brings in another chair to scoot in between me and Hollis. Hollis looks guilty as shit, and I’m trying not to panic and think the worst. Please, please let him be exaggerating. Maybe Cricket is fine. Maybe she just thought the idea of being mated with someone was weird.
“What exactly did you say to Cricket?” Hawthorne asks Hollis.
He clears his throat and bites his lip. “When I was driving her home, she asked me what a mate was. I said I didn’t think Theo wanted me to tell her, and I explained that he’s an alpha. That after graduation, me, Theo, and Cas will branch off to form our own pack.”
“What did she think about that?” Hawthorne asks.
“Confused.” Hollis shrugs. “Mostly she seemed pissed off about Theo using his alpha voice on her.”
I blanch, and Hawthorne and my dad turn to glare at me. My dad makes me feel about two fucking feet tall when he asks, “Why would you use your alpha voice on a girl you think is your mate?”
“What?” Hollis jerks back.
I know I’m scowling, and I probably look like a petulant child. I look back and forth between Hollis and my dad before I focus on Hawthorne. “I didn’t know it would work at first. And it was only when she was trying to cover up for Hollis and Cas acting like dumbasses.”
My uncle shakes his head in disappointment. I feel like a fucking pup again, and it takes everything in me not to slouch down in my seat and submit to him. I stay upright and look him straight in the eyes.
He sighs and turns back to Hollis. “What happened then?”
“Well,” Hollis says, fidgeting in his seat. “She used her alpha voice on me and demanded I tell her what a mate was.”
My dad snorts, and Hawthorne jerks his head in my direction. I try to fight it, but I break out in a huge grin. “She started doing that today.”
“Does she know she’s doing it?” My dad asks in bewilderment.
Hollis and I glance at each other, and he shakes his head. “I don’t think so, but earlier today, Cas told her she’s part of our pack. He said he didn’t know how or why, just that it was obvious.”
Hawthorne growls and our eyes snap back to him. His gaze is fierce on Hollis. “So, you told her what it meant to be mated. What did she say?”
Hollis lowers his eyes. “She freaked out that we don’t get a choice. Like it didn’t seem fair. I told her it’s not like that. I showed her my mate mark, and I don’t know. She got really quiet and started looking at her wrists. She said she didn’t have one, and she looked like she was about to fucking cry. Before she ran out of the truck, she made a comment about the three of us finding mates. I didn’t know what to say to her.”
We’re quiet for a minute. My chest aches, knowing she’s upset. But part of me feels relieved too. She wasn’t upset at the idea of being mates with one of us. It sounds more like the exact opposite.
When I look at Hollis, he looks devastated. And my heart aches for him. He’s my best friend, practically my brother. I know I’ve been so fucking selfish since I met Cricket, and I’ve been having this insane thought since yesterday afternoon.
“Did you think Cricket might be your mate?” I ask, trying to keep my voice even.
His eyes widen, and I try to convey that it’s fine to be honest.
“At first, yeah. I thought maybe she could be,” he says. “But then I saw you with her, and she doesn’t have a mate mark...”
I smile sadly, and it takes a lot of fucking effort to admit this insanity out loud. “I think she’s both our mate. And Cas’s.”
Hollis looks dumbfounded, but Hawthorne looks more troubled than surprised. My dad doesn’t seem very surprised either.
“Is that even possible?” Hollis asks.
A hysterical laugh escapes my throat, and I shrug. “I don’t fucking know. But I feel it. Before she even met you guys, I felt it. Every day I spent with her, I was completely torn over wanting to keep her to myself and wanting you guys to know her and like her so badly. I know she feels it too. She’s admitted that her power feels stronger when we’re all together, and that everything feels complete. And she’s only been around all of us for two fucking days!”
Hollis perks up and chews on his lip thoughtfully. “She told me she felt like her soul was connected to all of us, but she feels weird about it because she doesn’t really know us yet.”
I can’t explain the fluttering excitement I feel, but I find myself smiling. “And dude, Stella likes all three of us. Her familiar fucking hates everyone else.”
“Do you think Cas...? He keeps acting like he doesn’t feel it.”
“Yeah, he’s just being a stubborn bastard about it.” I roll my eyes and laugh. “He’s trying to pretend like he just wants to have sex with her, but it’s obvious it’s more than that.”
Hollis opens his mouth to say something else, but my dad interrupts, rubbing his temples and looking confused as shit. “Hold on, wait a second. You’re both fine sharing a mate?”
My face flushes, and Hollis looks just as embarrassed as I feel. But then we smile at each other, and he shrugs. I laugh. “I know it sounds fucking nuts, but if it’s Cricket we’re sharing, I don’t really...”
Hawthorne gets this crazy weird look on his face, and he turns to Hollis. “You’re okay with it too, if this is the case?”
Hollis slowly nods. “I think so. I mean, I don’t know how it would work. How do we know for sure? This is so...”
When he trails off, Hawthorne looks back and forth between us sternly and takes a deep breath. “After meeting her yesterday, and watching the three of you interact with her, I thought there might be something odd happening. It seemed immediately obvious that Cricket and Theo were mates, but I also thought Cas might be her mate too. I spoke with Aurora. We’ve been trying to track down any knowledge about this kind of thing happening before. There’s a pack in Alberta that might have a lead. We’re still waiting to hear back. As for Cricket’s mate mark, Aurora thinks it will show up on Cricket’s eighteenth birthday.”
“Did Aurora have a vision or something? Is that why Cricket moved here?” Hollis asks.
The thought hasn’t occurred to me before, and I glance at him in surprise. Hawthorne furrows his eyebrows. “Yes, actually. Cricket doesn’t know that. She’s still under the impression it’s because of her father’s job.”
“Cricket’s not stupid. She knows she wasn’t introduced to Theo by accident, and Aurora has been a little too encouraging of her relationship with us,” Hollis says.
I can’t help snorting, thinking of the tea and those fucking brownies.
I tap my fingers on the arm of the chair and look between Hollis, Hawthorne, and my father. The reason we’re having this discussion in the first place is because Cricket was upset after hearing about mates. “Should we just fucking tell her already? She’s going to figure it out, and it sounds like she was most upset at not having a mate mark to connect her to one of us.”
“That’s your decision, Theo.” Hawthorne shrugs. “But keep in mind this is all new to her. She’s not a wolf. She’s never considered the idea of having a mate before today. And if you’re correct in assuming she has not one, but three mates, and we still can’t be one hundred percent certain of that yet, do you think she’ll be okay with that? You and Hollis seem content to share a mate, but do you think Cas or Cricket will feel the same way?”
He’s right. Yes, Cricket said she feels a connection to all three of us, and she’s definitely attracted to all three of us too. But thinking she might be okay actually being with all of us is a pretty big fucking leap to make. Like Hollis, I don’t even know how that would work. Or how it would feel truly seeing her with Hollis or Cas. Not just snuggling or holding hands. And if I am wrong, if she’s not my mate, I will be so fucking devastated. To be with her now and then to have that dream snatched away if she ends up not being my mate...
