Sisters by the Sea, page 22
I should not have tried to persuade Francine to play the slot machines. All this for a bet, and now I might have put my future relationship with her in jeopardy.
When he came to a stop at a red light, he gave her a brief glance. Francine had her head tilted toward the window, and the lights from nearby buildings cascaded on her.
I’ll give her some space tomorrow. I want to go on another date with Francine, but I get it if she doesn’t want to see me anymore.
Chapter 8
Lido Beach
Lucas still reeled from what had happened at the casino last night. He didn’t try to get ahold of Francine but wanted to, which was why he was surprised when Francine called him later in the day. It was during his shift, but there was a lull in the flow of people approaching the concession, so Francine’s phone call didn’t interfere with his work. She asked if they could talk in person after Lucas finished working.
As the day drew to a close, he started to feel anxious. Lucas wasn’t looking forward to Francine breaking things off with him, but he expected it. She’d been upset with him after the way he had urged her to sit at a slot machine, although he wasn’t sure why exactly. Perhaps the Amish were not allowed to gamble, and Francine was concerned about what her family would think if they found out.
It didn’t help that Barry incentivized me. I can’t believe I let him get to me. He noted the food products needing to be resupplied. Whatever the reason, I didn’t need to be so forceful in my approach.
Lucas jerked out from behind the concession stand as soon as he caught sight of Francine. She wore her hair tied back but without her usual cone-shaped hat. The dark red fabric of her Amish dress highlighted her freckled skin.
“Francine, about what happened, I—”
“Lucas, before you say anything, I need to get something off my chest.” She sidestepped away from the counter but kept her gaze on him. “Let’s sit on the beach. That way, we’ll have a good view of the sun setting while we talk.”
He gripped the neckline of his shirt. “Sounds good to me.”
After closing the concession stand, Lucas collected his possessions, which he could fit in the pocket of his jeans. He wandered along with Francine but held a respectful distance. To reach the sandy grounds, they crossed through the gap where the shrubs parted. Dispersed around the beach were groups of people seated either in folding chairs or on the sand. They made their way over to a spot that was midway from the water’s edge.
Francine bent down to the white grains of sand, setting down her massive bag next to her hip. She motioned for him to take a seat beside her, and as soon as he did, Lucas turned his attention to the horizon as the sun started to set below the ocean. For some time, they sat in silence as the sky gradually shifted from turquoise to peach tones. Finally, Francine nudged his arm and her voice broke the hush.
“Remember at Der Dutchman when you asked me why I agreed to date you? I was attempting to move on and didn’t want to discuss it because it hurt so much.” Francine folded her arms. “The truth is, I had just gotten out of a two-year relationship.”
Lucas went slack-jawed at the revelation. “Two years?”
She nodded. “We ended our relationship in January.”
“Wow, that’s pretty soon after a break-up.” He stifled a gasp. “Hold on a second—you’re not telling me that I was a rebound, are you?”
She hunched her shoulders. “Admittedly, yes. You were a way to keep my mind from dwelling on my pain.”
“Spending two years with someone is a long time. Why did you break up after being together for so long?” Lucas asked.
“I thought Matthew and I were going to get married and join the church together. It seemed like that’s what he wanted too. He did want to marry me, but…” Francine grimaced, giving her head a small shake. “Matthew felt led to become a missionary and understood that remaining Amish would restrict his ability to minister. When he asked me to accompany him, it didn’t sit well at the time. I believed staying in my community was the right decision for me.”
“But why did you agree to go out with me if you don’t want to leave your community?”
“I had doubts that breaking up with Matthew was the right choice. I wanted to see what the English life was like without the commitment. After last night, I may have gotten my answer.” She lifted her arms briefly, then lowered them onto her lap. “I didn’t want to gamble because I know how addictive it can be, to the point of enticing others to join you. As with any addiction, it’s difficult to pull away from it once you’ve had a taste.”
His chest swelled with the sensation of a kerosene heater. Francine, despite her curiosity, had no intention of leaving her Indiana community. That meant his casino winnings for the month would be thrown out the window. And what did she mean by saying gambling was an addiction? Gambling could be risky at times, but he believed it could also be beneficial. Still, it had gotten him into trouble before, and this situation was evidence of that.
Francine’s lips quivered. “I’m sorry for not being upfront with you earlier, Lucas.”
Being angry with her for not divulging something so private would be foolish, and Francine was unaware of the bet he had made with Barry. Besides, Lucas wasn’t mad about Francine wanting to stay Amish. He thought it was commendable that she stayed loyal to her beliefs.
“We met a few weeks ago, so who you were with before wasn’t really my business. It was personal, and now I understand why you didn’t like it when I questioned you too much. I’m sorry for what I said last night and for pressuring you to gamble.”
She gave him a weightless stare with her eyes half closed. “Thank you, Lucas. I’m glad we can both be honest with one another.”
Those words pricked him to the core. “Yeah, me too. You know what they say—honesty is the best policy.” He cleared his throat. “I made it sound horrible last night, but nonetheless, I’m interested. How do you keep your behavior on such a firm base, Francine?”
“Whenever I have a gut feeling about something, I know that feeling of conviction comes from the Lord.” Francine plucked a sand dollar from the bag of shells. “There’s a reason why sand dollars resonate with me. I keep a little version of the ‘Legend of the Sand Dollar’ in my bag, but I’ll quickly summarize what a sand dollar represents.” She traced a finger along one of the edge holes. “These four holes represent when Jesus was affixed to the cross. The middle hole reflects the spear wound inflicted by a Roman soldier. Then, there’s the doves.” She presented the tiny birds in the crook of her hand after breaking the shell into fragments. “Within this shell, when broken, are five doves that emphasize peace and love. I recall the legend each time I find a sand dollar. It makes me think of Jesus’ sacrifice, and that reminds me to depend on Him.”
Lucas mulled over Francine’s words, fixing his gaze on the doves resting in the center of her hand. He knew the story of Jesus and had played hymns on his violin countless times. Perhaps it was Francine’s evident vulnerability that affected him. He’d never met anyone who seemed to be deeply reliant on their faith before.
She slid the sand dollar pieces back into the shell collection. “I know you don’t go to church anymore, so I don’t want to press you to listen to any of this.”
“No, like I said before, I’m all ears. You’ve certainly piqued my curiosity with that sand dollar legend.”
“We’ve both seemed to have piqued the other’s curiosity, haven’t we?” Francine smirked. “Well, I have something else that may answer more of your questions.” She reached into her bag and pulled out a small but dense book, handing it to him. “Here’s a pocket version of the New Testament. I want you to have it. It’s helped me when I’ve needed it most.”
Lucas thanked Francine and tucked the Bible into the front pocket of his jeans. His eyes trailed back to the water. The remaining sunlight shimmered on the ocean’s surface. The brilliance of the day had given way to the freshness of the night.
In that moment, he took a chance and stroked his palm along the sand, brushing Francine’s knuckles. She twisted her head to him wide eyed, but her smile was unwavering. She entwined his fingers in hers and rested her head on his shoulder. Her hair gave off a subtle scent of lavender. His heart rate increased, and he trembled a bit. But the frigid air kept him from becoming too engrossed in the moment.
“So, you okay if we continue where we left off?”
“You’re sure you want to, Lucas? I talked your ear off for a while.”
“Oh, is that why you did that? You can’t get rid of me that easily.” Lucas snickered. “I’m sure. You’re leaving soon, right? I’d like to enjoy your company before you head back to Indiana.”
Francine snuggled against his shoulder and sighed. “Likewise.”
The sun descended, and the ocean’s waves beating on the shore were all that remained.
Sarasota
Lucas unlocked the door to his apartment around ten o’clock that night. The entire living area was enveloped in darkness.
He slipped out his phone and used the light from it to make his way through the pitch-black room. Fortunately, there wasn’t much Lucas could collide with. Aside from his room, the furniture in his flat was a tiny bookcase next to a solitary lounge chair in the living area.
As he entered his bedroom, Lucas kicked off his sandals and collapsed face-first onto the mattress. Between working at the concession stand and Francine expressing her situation to him, the day had done a number on him. Lucas wanted to unwind for the time being because there was a lot of information to take in. He rolled onto his back, staring toward the ceiling. He attempted to concentrate his thoughts on getting up early tomorrow for another day of work, but moments of his conversation with Francine lingered in his mind.
He had been resting on the pocket Bible Francine gave him, so he pulled it out of his pocket and held it up, barely able to see it in the dark. Lucas wasn’t sure if he should read it. Granted, his family had attended church when he was a young child, so he didn’t have any hard feelings against it. His parents stopped attending soon after his grandfather died, and Lucas did the same. Lucas had given some thought to attending services again now that he was living alone, but he had always shelved the idea. Too much was on his plate for him to find time for it.
He placed the book on the pillow near his head. The memory of the bet he made with Barry wormed its way into his thoughts. He pressed his fingers against his temples.
I figured it would be no hassle to make Francine give up on being Amish. Lucas’ throat thickened. Why did I agree to that stupid bet? How could I even think of doing that to her?
He murmured, “I wonder if this guilt toward trying to change Francine is my ‘gut feeling.’”
Out of curiosity, Lucas flipped open the pocket Bible, then took out his phone to illuminate the tiny print on the pages. He read several passages, but eventually a wave of fatigue washed over him, and he drifted to sleep.
Chapter 9
For dinner the following weekend, Francine invited Lucas to have supper at her sister’s home. Dan and Violet brought pizza from a nearby restaurant and placed the boxes on the kitchen counter. The relaxed atmosphere surprised Lucas, but it also quelled his nerves. He was out of his element, but it was fair, given that Lucas had taken Francine to a casino. Being around her family wasn’t anything like hanging out with his friends.
Francine said her family would enjoy hearing him play the violin, so he brought it along to perform once they had finished eating. Accustomed to performing in front of strangers, Lucas was not at all nervous.
“Someone once stole the money from my case as I was playing along the streets of St. Armand’s Circle. It was a respectable amount too, but I kept on going and made back at least half of what was taken.” Lucas bit into a slice of margarita pizza. The cheese stretched out, so he severed the mozzarella string with his front teeth.
Dan leaned forward, wiping his hand on a napkin. “People are unbelievable at times. It’s incredible how some can act on compulsive ideas without taking the situation personally. Why treat someone else like that if you don’t want to be treated that way yourself?”
Violet nodded. “It’s sad when someone covets enough to take what they haven’t worked for.”
Dan’s words caused Lucas to cringe inwardly, and he thought about the bet that was still on with Barry. Lucas eyed Francine with his peripheral vision, knowing full well he had done something horrible in connection to her, and she knew nothing of it.
Lucas kept the conversation going for the time being, saying he was relieved to have his violin with him. Even though it was a student violin, it was the first one he’d owned. The strings Lucas had removed when he first purchased new strings remained in the case. Lucas even shared about times when he was heckled at St. Armand’s Circle, admitting they happened more often than he’d prefer. Despite this, he received favorable feedback and particularly liked it when people approached him with delight or curiosity. The streets were hectic, but that didn’t stop him from driving over there every week and performing.
They sat in the living room after everyone had finished eating. Lucas moved his bow across the strings, accompanied by the steady rain pattering against the window. His pant pocket buzzed against his leg. It had been vibrating intermittently all evening. He had sent a message to his buddies informing them that he wouldn’t be driving to the casino that night. Lucas was met with understanding responses—except for one recipient.
He’s been a real thorn in my side. Lucas thought. You can keep texting and calling me all night, Barry, but I’m not leaving to drive to Tampa. I haven’t had this much fun since I performed my first solo in high school orchestra.
Lucas reached the end of the song and positioned his instrument by his side. As Francine’s family applauded him, he leaned forward for a bow.
John, on the other hand, stood up from the couch, fumbling with a pen cradled in his right suspender. “Classical playing is nice and all, but can you fiddle with that violin?”
Lucas smirked and shifted the instrument back under his chin. With a bent neck, he clamped down on the head rest, which pressed against his left collar bone. “You’d better believe I can.”
He began stomping his foot on the wooden floor of the living room, and Francine’s family followed suit, clapping their hands to the beat. The next song Lucas played was “I Saw the Light.” When the violinist at Lucas’ previous church played the song, the joyful gospel tune became one of his favorites to listen to on a Sunday morning. His hand muscles cramped up from vigorous playing, but he kept smiling and swaying his head. It was well worth it for him to be able to produce such high-quality notes from his modest instrument.
Straightaway, when he heard a voice puncturing through his music, Lucas locked eyes with Francine. He hadn’t heard her sing before. Francine’s voice was a smidge higher in volume than the violin, and each word before a breath had a subtle vibrato. He was in awe, but it didn’t stop his motion. It heightened it.
The cheers of Francine’s family burst through the music as they continued to clap in time with Lucas’ set rhythm. He was no longer solely fiddling. Driven by the tremendous positive vibrations encircling him, his limbs flowed seamlessly. It was as if gravity was nonexistent. Even his playing-related discomfort wasn’t at the forefront anymore. Francine’s vocals were the only thing present, and he accompanied her voice. For the first time, Lucas took in each word.
With one more vibrato formed by his shuddering finger, Lucas raised his bow from the strings. When he glanced over at Francine, she rose to her feet. She beamed as she brought up her hands to form a steeple. Her eyes gleamed like a cave of aventurine stones.
He slid his instrument back into its case before pressing his hand to the center of his chest. Exhaustion from playing finally took hold. Before, those words had no impact, but now the lyrics are stirring something in me. I’m beginning to wonder if I’m finally seeing the light. And Francine is helping me welcome it in.
Sarasota
It was the brink of a new day by the time Lucas got back to his apartment. He shuffled into his room, kicking off his sandals before settling into his bed. It was like any other night—except that it wasn’t.
He rolled over to the nightstand and snatched one of the sand dollars Francine had given him. It was the one she’d placed in his violin case. What Lucas felt now reminded him of the night Francine let down her guard and expressed more of herself. She now seemed self-assured enough to sing along with him. Affected by her, Lucas couldn’t brush his feelings aside.
There’s no doubt in my mind that I have feelings for Francine. My life has improved in the short time I’ve known her, but am I meant to be with Francine for the rest of my life? Lucas ran his finger along the shell’s edge. If so, would it mean asking her to leave the Amish faith? She’s not set on it right now, but maybe later? Either that, or I’d have to become Amish, which would not be easy. His eyes lingered on the ceiling as he exhaled. Yet everyone knew how to have fun this evening. It was the most incredible evening, from conversing during dinner to playing for them. Most people are overly invested in superficial forms of entertainment. It’s not common to meet someone who embraces the simplicity of things. Being Amish may not be so bad. It could even be the change I’ve been searching for in my life. He chuckled. I can only be sure if I keep getting to know Francine. That feels right, like the gut instinct she described.
The sound of pounding shattered Lucas’ peaceful contemplation. It resonated from the confines of his bedroom.
He put the sand dollar on his pillow before rushing to the door. It’s one o’clock in the morning. Who would be banging on my door at this hour? Lucas peered through the peephole. Oh, great. It’s Barry. Reluctantly, Lucas unbolted the door.
