Angel Reborn, page 39
Just because I was no longer human didn’t mean I had to give up my humanity. What Gwen had done was wrong, and I didn’t know that I would ever look at her the same.
Settling in at the desk in the studio on the third floor, I tried to put it all out of my head and concentrate on the assignment that was due for class that night. The last thing I wanted to do after being absent the week before was to show up empty-handed. But I found myself reading the same paragraph multiple times without any of the words sinking in.
I’d just come back downstairs to grab a bag of chips and a Diet Coke when the doorbell rang.
I assumed it was Zeck or one of his men, trusting that anyone else would have been stopped at the gate.
I was caught off guard when I opened the door and saw Gwen standing there.
“Hello,” she said, her smile impossibly cheery as she stood on my welcome mat in a white sleeveless blazer and flowy white pants.
I shuddered as one of the more grotesque scenes I’d imagined suddenly popped into my head, and I had to fight the urge to slam the door and hide.
“Nick’s not here,” I managed to say.
“I’m aware,” Gwen replied. “I thought perhaps you and I could have a little chat. May I come in?”
The thought crossed my mind that I’d heard somewhere that vampires had to be given permission to enter, but I figured that was more Hollywood myth, and it wasn’t likely to work anyway since she technically owned the house.
“Sure. Come in.”
I stepped aside and let her enter, and then we stood there in the foyer, staring at each other. I was so disconcerted I didn’t even think to suggest that we sit or make the customary beverage offer that’s standard when welcoming guests.
Not that it mattered to Gwen. She didn’t seem uncomfortable in the slightest.
“I wanted to come over and apologize. I spoke with Nicolaas this morning, and I understand you were upset with how I handled Lily’s betrayal.”
I had no idea how to respond to that other than to silently curse my husband for oversharing, so I chose to say nothing at all.
Gwen clasped her hands together in front of her abdomen and shifted her weight on her stiletto heels. Her dark brown eyes studied me intently, and her red lips still carried a hint of a smile. “I’m curious what you would have had me do differently.”
I tried to swallow, but my mouth and throat seemed to have no moisture at all.
“Would you care for something to drink?” I asked belatedly, in desperate need of liquid relief for myself.
“I’ll have whatever you’re having.”
Moving past her to the kitchen, I called over my shoulder, “I’m having Diet Coke.”
“Splendid,” Gwen said right behind me. She stood at the kitchen island and looked around the room as though she were inspecting it.
I was thankful I’d spent some time tidying up that morning.
“Would you like ice in a glass or just the chilled can?”
“Ice in a glass, please.”
I filled a glass with ice and popped the lid of the can to pour the soda, and then as the foam head receded, I handed her the glass and the can.
“Here you go.”
“Thank you.” She set the glass on the counter without so much as a sip taken.
Meanwhile, I was guzzling mine down and trying to figure out how to answer the question we’d left hanging in the air.
Any hope she might move on from it disappeared as she said, “Now, where were we? Ah, yes. We were going to try and understand each other’s point of view better. Please, you first. Tell me how you think I should have handled the situation differently.”
I felt like I was back in the principal’s office being asked to explain why I’d skipped class to paint expletives on the side of the gym with my friends.
“I, um, well I guess what I wish had been done differently was to contact some kind of authorities and let them handle things, but Nick explained to me that’s not how it’s done in your world. The, um, supernatural world.”
“Let’s think about why that is,” Gwen said, crossing her lean and sculpted arms. “What would we tell the authorities? That a man shot you in the chest with a crossbow and then shifted into a bird and flew off the roof?”
She arched a manicured brow and continued.
“When they examined you for proof of your injuries, how would we explain that you bear no scar? At least none that I saw when you were in your bathing suit at the pool the other day. And let’s talk about why that is, shall we? I’m not blind, Aria. I saw you leap up and run across a roof after you were shot. I saw you covered in blood but not actively bleeding as you stood in my penthouse. And I saw you pull all the water from my pool to surround and protect your daughter.”
“Okay.” I said nothing more, because what could I say?
Leaving the glass of soda behind, she walked to the other side of the island so that it stretched between us.
“To me, those are indicators that you’re a descendant of the Fallen. While I certainly have questions as to how your status changed, I can accept what you are now. But how would you explain any of that to the authorities? How would you explain that you didn’t contact the police the night of the event? That you’d never filed a report regarding the incident?”
“Okay, obviously we couldn’t go to the normal, human police. But it just seems wrong that you can—that anyone can—murder someone without a trial or a jury or a conviction. What if Lily had been innocent? What if we were wrong, and it wasn’t what it seemed?”
“Lily made a full confession. She confessed to stalking you on the internet, and even at times, in real life once she learned that Nicolaas had married. She confessed to feeling hope for a different outcome with my son when she found out he’d returned to a vampiric state, and she said she’d been consumed by fury by his subsequent and repeated rejection. She confessed to contacting Sage’s father—” Gwen inclined her head and held up her hand in a corrective gesture. “—excuse me, Sage’s biological father to try to sow discord and discontent in your marriage. She conspired with that gentleman to undermine you, and she confessed to seeking out someone who would be willing to take the life of a stranger once she’d confirmed your attendance at the ball.”
I was stunned to learn that Lily had set her sights on me even before we’d met at Theodoor’s memorial service. It was unnerving to know that I’d been watched and plotted against when I hadn’t even known she’d existed.
But it didn’t matter any longer, since Lily was gone. Gwen had taken her life and removed that threat.
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Gwen. If she confessed, then I guess she was guilty, and you did what you felt was the right thing. It just feels…wrong…to me.”
“I was trying to protect my family. To protect my son and his chosen wife and daughter. To protect you and Sage.”
“Again, I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“How about thank you? I did what I did so Nick didn’t have to, and you do realize he would have, do you not? There is no scenario in which he was going to let Lily live once he knew what she had done. Do you think it was easy for me to take Liliandra’s life and her future? She was dear to me. For a time, I thought perhaps she would be my successor, my heir. This was before Nicky returned, of course. Unfortunately, she never had the mind nor the fortitude for the responsibilities I carry, and she certainly lacked the work ethic it requires. But my fondness for her wasn’t diminished by the qualities she lacked. In many ways, she was the daughter I never had.” Gwen paused for a moment and then looked past me toward the foyer. “Shall we go and sit in the living room? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
Retreating to the living room was the last thing I wanted since that would likely prolong her stay, but she’d already gathered her glass and began walking that way, so there was no polite way to refuse.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” I said once we were seated. It felt like the right thing to say, but it seemed quite a twisted contradiction since Gwen was the one who had taken Lily’s life and caused herself the loss.
I meant it, though. I was sorry that Gwen had felt she had no other choice than to take the life of someone she cared about. Sorry that Nick had been put in this position. And even though she’d tried to kill me and take my daughter so she could have my husband or make him pay, I felt sorry for Lily as well. She was obviously not mentally or emotionally healthy, and someone she had loved and trusted had taken her life.
No matter whose rules we were playing by, it was a messed-up situation for everyone involved. And while I’d never fully agree that it had been the right thing to do, I knew it was best for me to bridge a path to peace with Gwen. It would benefit no one to have bad blood between us, especially now that I knew what Gwen was capable of…even with someone she considered family.
“I can appreciate that you were trying to protect all of us by doing what you did,” I said. “I just hate that it had to end this way.”
“As do I.” She finally took a sip of the soda, and her nose wrinkled slightly as she placed it on the coaster that lay on the end table. “I don’t know what has occurred that brought you over to our side of the world, and I’m not asking you to share anything you aren’t ready to share. But you need to be aware that ours is a brutal existence. We may live in this modern world, but we live by laws that were established for our kind in a much different time. A time when the consequences of your actions were carried out swiftly and without reprieve. It may seem savage to someone who is unfamiliar with our ways, but I believe it’s more effective at curbing unwanted behaviors than your court systems riddled with injustices and delays.”
“You may be right.”
“That’s not to say that those times were better, though. They were worse in many ways, especially for women. The last two centuries have seen remarkable strides made for equality, but it wasn’t even a notion to be considered when I first began exploring the world at Theodoor’s side. I had to fight hard to be respected as his equal and his peer. I had to work twice as hard as he, and I was still cast aside as his assistant or his spouse by other men in our field. So, I expanded my focus to the business side of things—while continuing my own research, mind you—and even though I poured my blood, sweat, and tears into every acquisition and every transaction, every success I achieved had to be done under Theodoor’s name and not mine. The world, even our world, has only recently allowed a woman to own property or conduct business on her own without a man’s name on the top line.”
Gwen looked down at her hands and away toward the window, and it was the first time she’d broken eye contact since she’d arrived.
“I know my son has likely expressed to you his disapproval of the devotion I have for the Gilde and the companies we’ve built. I can acknowledge it was hard for him as a child, growing up as a hidden treasure. I couldn’t be there for him in the way my mother had been for me.” Her gaze returned to mine. “But I believed I was building him a legacy. I believed in my work, in our work, and the good it could do. And I can admit I quite enjoy the power and the authority it has given me. There are those who find me cold and calculating, but I would say I’m driven and determined. I do not deviate from a goal until it’s been achieved, and I allow nothing to stand in my way. If I were a man, those qualities would be applauded. No one ever faults Theodoor for the time he spent working during Nicolaas’s formative years. The world condemns the mother, no matter which path she chooses.”
Clasping her hands together with a sigh, she once again smiled.
“But I didn’t come here to discuss women’s rights or parenting missteps or the regrets I have as a mother. I came to tell you it was not my intent to upset you. Nicolaas expressed that you’ve been having a difficult time transitioning, and I didn’t mean to add to your distress. I simply acted to take care of a problem, not considering how you might react to what I did. I’m sorry, too, if my gift of Lily’s remains came across as callous or insensitive. In my view, I’d alleviated a concern so that neither you nor Nicky had to, so I sent that as a token to let you know you and your daughter were safe. He returned the urn to me this morning, and I’ll dispose of it by other means.”
“Perhaps Lily’s family would like to have it.”
There was a slight lift of her brows, perhaps in surprise, and then she smiled again. “How thoughtful of you. Is there anything else you’d like to discuss before I take my leave?”
“I can’t think of anything at the moment,” I said.
I wondered how much she knew. If Nick had told her I was having problems transitioning, what else had he already shared?
I’d agreed yesterday that we were going to confide in Gwen and seek her counsel on my condition, but the reservations I’d had before felt newly justified considering how easily she’d turned on Lily from love and acceptance to ending her life.
Even if I could stretch my own values to accept that Gwen had acted within the boundaries of the immortal to kill Lily on my behalf, knowing what she was capable of didn’t make me want to confide my most vulnerable secrets to her.
“Very well, then.” She clapped her hands on her knees and rose. “I’ll leave you to the rest of your day.”
I stood with her, and when she reached for the nearly untouched soda, I said, “Here. I’ll get that.”
After taking both our glasses to the kitchen and setting them on the counter, I returned to the foyer to say goodbye.
“Thank you for stopping by,” I said, because again, it felt like the right thing to say.
She smiled in response and then reached for the door, but once she’d opened it, she paused and turned back to me.
“There is one more thing I need to say. I don’t know how much Nicolaas has told you about the current events in our world, but there’s turmoil brewing.”
“He’s shared a little. I know there were attacks on the other Turpisi families the night of the ball.”
“Yes, and I’ll tell you what I told him. I fear it may get worse before it gets better.” All hint of a smile faded as Gwen leaned forward, her gaze locked on mine. “If you intend to live at my son’s side as his true mate, you’re going to need tougher skin and sharper edges. You can think I’m cruel all you want, but you will find sometimes you have to be to survive. I want to believe you’re a survivor, Aria, but you can’t survive with a tender heart.”
She slid the sunglasses that had been propped on her head down over her eyes and walked out the door.
Forty-One
Aria
After the insanity of the previous week, it felt amazing to walk across the university campus and go to class like a normal human being.
I still had a security detail, of course. Even though the most urgent threat against me seemed to be gone with Lily in the urn, Nick had still insisted I not go alone due to the global hits on the Turpisi and their families the night of the ball. There had been no other attacks since then, but the entire bloodline still seemed to be on high alert since no one knew who was responsible or why they’d been targeted.
Thankfully, the security team stayed out of sight, so I was able to stroll to class without an obvious escort. I never even felt like I was being watched or followed, which was freeing after being locked in the house for over a week with guards patrolling outside twenty-four hours a day.
The only thing decidedly not normal was the telltale colored auras I noticed on a few of the students I encountered along the way. There were no red mists like Nick’s to indicate there were vampires, but I saw at least one aqua blue Veiori and two of the green Genezerue like Noelle. There was a darker green I didn’t recognize, as well as a vibrant fuchsia that was quite pretty. There were also four that were slightly orange.
The entire time we’d been in Pensacola, I hadn’t seen anyone other than Nick with a cloud, but then again, I’d been considerably distracted while we were there. Of course, it was also possible that a university campus on the outskirts of New York City had more supernaturals in attendance than a grocery store cafe and a seafood restaurant in Northwest Florida.
None of the students in my night class were colorful, which was good, because it made it much easier to focus on the instructor. And I welcomed that focus. In fact, I felt strangely appreciative of the opportunity to simply listen to a lecture, take notes, and participate in a group discussion.
For a brief window of time, I was back to being the Aria I’d been before my husband wrecked our van and turned back into a vampire, and before I’d been shot through the chest and became whatever I was now.
Thinking back on the student I was then, I remembered feeling disconnected from my classmates because I was working full-time, parenting full-time, and married full-time while the majority of them were single and obsessed with their social lives.
But for once, I welcomed the banality of their chatter as we all filed out of class.
It was much less stressful than the conversations I’d been in lately about supernatural abilities I couldn’t explain, my whole life being a lie, and my mother-in-law killing the woman who’d tried to kill me.
Of course, any feeling of normalcy disappeared when I had to climb into the massive SUV with dark, tinted windows at the end of the night for Zeck to drive me home.
With my Jeep still at the New Windsor house and safety still being an issue, I couldn’t drive myself, and though Nick had offered to come and pick me up, that would mean dragging Sage out past her bedtime or asking Zeck to babysit, which I didn’t feel comfortable doing.
I felt bad enough that he was personally driving me since Nick wouldn’t trust the job to anyone else.
“Thanks for picking me up,” I said to Zeck as he drove me home. “I appreciate you staying late. Do you get paid overtime?”
“Not exactly.” He grinned. “I don’t clock in or clock out, and I don’t have any set hours, so there’s not really a time that’s over any limit. I come and go based on what’s needed for the job. But you don’t need to worry. The VanCleaves are generous employers.”
