The Heart Listens, page 66
But this morning she was reluctant to move. The place beside her was empty. Tony had quietly crept out of the room without disturbing her. Dimly, she could hear sounds of activity in the house–the high-pitched voices of Ann’s children and the rumbling sounds of the three men who already were moving about. It was past nine o’clock. Almost two hours later than she normally slept. And still she did not get up. She lay on her back, staring at the ceiling, dreading the moment when she would have to become part of this troubled household.
The day before had been ominous. After the walk from which Ann and Quigly returned separately, the two had not exchanged a single word. Even when Tony and Peter and the children came back from their drive, Ann did not immediately come out of the guest room to greet them. Right after a lunch in which her two children did not speak to each other, Ann had retired to her bed, pleading a headache. She stayed there until dinner time.
In midafternoon, Elizabeth tiptoed in to see if she was all right. Ann was lying on her side, her face to the wall.
“Ann, are you awake?” Elizabeth whispered.
“Yes.”
“Are you all right? Is there anything I can do for you?”
“No, nothing, thanks. I just want to be left alone.”
Elizabeth frowned. “Did something happen between you and Quigly? Did you have an argument?”
“Please, Mother, I don’t feel like talking.” Ann was trying to be patient. Elizabeth knew she should leave, but she didn’t. Instead, she sat on the edge of the bed.
“Darling, if Quigly upset you, I wish you’d tell me about it. He’s highly volatile, but he can’t help himself. Tony and I have come to realize that this past month. For days and weeks he can seem perfectly normal, and then the slightest little thing can set him off. He’s a sick boy.”
Ann sat bolt upright. “Are you blind? A sick boy? He’s a maniac! Do you know he tried to kill me this morning?” Her voice was shrill, almost a scream.
Elizabeth tried to quiet her. “Hush, Ann. Quigly will hear you.”
“Let him! He’s crazy, I tell you! That dirty, depraved mind of his! He should be put away!”
“Sweetheart, what’s this all about? What makes you think he tried to kill you?”
Ann told her about the dangerous steps. Elizabeth paled. She knew of no such steps. Quigly had either discovered them or else he’d spent all those days alone at the house painstakingly constructing a useless and dangerous trail on the side of the cliff.
“He hates me,” Ann insisted. “He hoped I’d fall and kill myself. I almost did, twice. If he hadn’t caught me, I’d have gone plunging to the bottom.”
Elizabeth looked at her. “But he did catch you, didn’t he? So he couldn’t have meant for you to fall. It doesn’t make sense, Ann. I don’t know what those steps are all about, but if Quigly wanted you to be killed, it sounds as though it would have been easy enough for him to have let it happen.”
For a moment, the logic of this stopped Ann, but then the fear and dislike of her brother returned.
“Don’t you see? It was like a warning. He wanted me to know how easily he could get at me. It was a warning about Tony.”
“What about Tony?” Elizabeth asked. “What does all this have to do with him?”
“I keep telling you. Your son is crazy. He thinks I tried to flirt with Tony last night. That sick mind of his imagines that I’m interested in Tony. He actually thinks I’d make a pass at my mother’s husband! My God, you can’t get more demented than that! Suddenly he admires Tony and thinks he’s good for you! He’s gotten it into his head that nothing must interfere with your marriage, and he has some wild idea that I’m planning to come between you.”
Elizabeth didn’t answer. Ann looked at her narrowly.
“It wouldn’t be that you believe that, too, would it?”
Elizabeth pulled herself together. “Don’t be ridiculous. I was thinking about Quigly. I don’t know what to do about him, Ann. I just don’t know what’s going to happen to him.” She tried to smile. “I know you had a schoolgirl crush on Tony once,” she said, “but you weren’t the only one. Laurel loved him too. Only she never got over it.”
The gentle voice had a reassuring effect on Ann. When she spoke, it was with more control.
“I don’t understand any of it. Quigly wasn’t even around when I first met Tony. He never even saw him until Charlene’s wedding. Why would he think that I’d try to do some terrible thing like this?”
“How can a layman explain a troubled mind like Quigly’s? We know he has periods when he’s totally out of control, but beyond that I believe he has stored up so much hatred and resentment that he can no longer think straight at any time. He’s told me some of the things he feels about you, Ann. He blames you for much of his early unhappiness. He has a warped, distorted backward view. He thinks you manipulated him into distrusting me, which indeed he has for most of his life. Perhaps you’ve become the only symbol of injustice left. Since he has decided that I do love him and always have, I’m no longer useful as a love-hate object. He has no reason to feel angry at Charlene. And I think he has even realized that Tony’s devotion to me is selfless and honest. So maybe you’re the only one left for him to suspect and try to frighten.”
“It’s a nightmare,” Ann said. “Maybe I did affect his thinking when we were children. I was a pretty bitter kid myself in those days. But to carry a grudge to this extreme, for all these years!”
“It isn’t just you,” Elizabeth said. “A lot of other situations and people have been responsible for the end result that is Quigly.” She told Ann about the disaster in San Diego and the ill-fated affair with Terry Isherwood. “Nothing has had any reality for Quigly for a long, long time. There’s been no permanence, no sense of belonging. And then, of course, he’s been drinking heavily for years. To forget all the rest, I suppose. In any case, I’m sure he’s more than an alcoholic. If it were only that, there might be hope, through A.A. or psychiatry. But I fear it’s too late. I think there’s permanent brain damage from liquor. That’s why I’m so terribly worried about him. I can’t keep him here and I dare not let him go. And something must be decided soon.”
Ann looked at her curiously. “This isn’t like you. You’re not a doctor. You must be very sure of how seriously ill Quigly is if you haven’t even had him examined.”
“You forget, Ann, that I lived with this kind of erratic behavior once before. I recognize the symptoms. I know that there comes a point of no return.”
“Still, it only makes sense to have it confirmed by a doctor,” Ann persisted.
“Yes it does. Tony and I have already discussed it. We’re going to have a talk with Quigly right after the holidays are over.” She got to her feet. “Try to get some rest. Peter and the children should be home soon. We’ll make it an early evening tonight, because tomorrow will be a full, long day.”
“Where’s Quigly?”
“I don’t know, dear. Somewhere around, I suppose.”
“Keep him away from me, Mother. I’m afraid of him.”
“Oh, Ann, please don’t let Quigly’s ravings disturb you that much. He wouldn’t physically hurt you. I’m sure of that.”
Ann sank back on the pillows. “You didn’t see or hear him this morning,” she said. “I’ll never be alone with him again, ever. And I want you to promise to keep him away from my children.”
Elizabeth sighed. “You’ll only make him worse, you know. He likes children. He’s very gentle and sweet with them. Wait till you see him with Antoinette. He adores her.”
Ann turned her face to the wall again. “Of course he does,” she said. “Antoinette is Charlene’s child.”
The memory of this conversation with Ann lay heavily on Elizabeth’s mind as she woke the next morning. She had not even told Tony about it. Her unaccustomed reticence came from a strange kind of embarrassment about accusations that even indirectly involved him. She had decided that the rest of the visit would be enough of a strain without Tony feeling self-conscious and uneasy every time he exchanged a pleasant word with his stepdaughter. She closed her eyes and silently prayed. “Let us just get through the next few days,” she begged, “and I promise you I’ll face whatever has to be done about Quigly, no matter what it is.”
Reluctantly, she got up and dressed. By the time she reached the kitchen, only two places at the table were still unoccupied. She kissed Tony and each of the others in turn.
“Where’s Ann?”
“My lazy wife is still sleeping,” Peter said. “It’s such a rare opportunity that I didn’t have the heart to disturb her. Most mornings she’s up at seven, getting all of us out of the apartment.”
“The rare opportunity must be catching,” Tony said, looking affectionately at Elizabeth.
She laughed. “Apparently! I can’t remember when I slept this late. Everybody get fed? Good. Then out of my way! Charlene and Jim will be here by lunchtime and the office crowd is due at eight. I have a million last-minute chores, so I’d appreciate it if you’d all make yourselves scarce this morning.”
“I’ll take the kids for a walk down the beach, if they’d like to go,” Quigly said.
Elizabeth started so violently that her coffee cup fell out of her hand and crashed to the brick floor.
Tony bent down to pick up the pieces. “You’re clumsy, Beautiful,” he said. “Good thing it was the breakfast china.”
“Well, what about it?” Quigly began to sound surly. Or, Elizabeth thought, am I starting to imagine things?
“The walk?” Peter asked. “Great idea. The kids would love it, wouldn’t you, troops?”
Three heads nodded in unison.
“Okay,” Quigly said. “Let’s go. The stairs to the beach are right out in the back, but you hold on to the bannister, Jo. Those rickety old wooden steps are tricky.”
“Why don’t you go with them, Peter?” Elizabeth said quickly. “The walk is glorious. And if I know Ann, she may not be up for hours.”
“Good idea. Mind if I join you, Quigly?”
Quigly looked at Elizabeth and she thought that a faint trace of suspicion crossed his face. But he shrugged his shoulders indifferently.
“Sure. Glad to have you. You want to come too, Tony?”
“No thanks. I think I’ll stick around and get in the way of the hard-working hostess.”
“Yeah,” Quigly said. “Do that. Princess Ann will need somebody to entertain her when she finally wakes up.”
“Now what did that mean?” Tony asked when the group had left. “That was a funny crack about Ann. I hate to say it, honey, but I think Quigly’s about to lose his gold star for good behavior. He’s been acting stranger than ever since the Richardses arrived. And he’s on the booze again. I smelled it this morning.”
“So did I, when I kissed him.” She nearly told him about her talk with Ann, but something held her back. Instead, she reached up and put her arms around Tony’s neck. “I love you,” she said.
“Terrific. Let’s go back to bed.”
“Seriously, Tony, I can’t ask you to put up with all this much longer. Quigly, I mean. I must convince him to go to a doctor. If there’s nothing wrong with his head, then he must get out and get a job and lead his own life, away from us.”
“And if there is something wrong?”
“Then he’ll have to be hospitalized. I’ll just have to live with it. I can’t live with this suspense.”
Tony gave her a searching look. “Something happened here yesterday, didn’t it? You’re holding out on me, Elizabeth. It’s not like you. What’s going on?”
“Ann and Quigly had an argument. I wasn’t there, but Ann really believes that he wants to kill her.”
Tony’s astonishment was real. “My God! Why?”
For the first and last time in her life, Elizabeth told him a half truth. “It was that old childhood thing again. Plus a few other late developments, like the stupid way she didn’t prepare the children for Jim and Antoinette.” She said nothing about Quigly’s conviction that Ann was still after Tony. “Evidently they got into an enormous row and Ann thinks that he might hurt her or her children. That’s why I wanted Peter to go with them this morning.”
“Elizabeth, you can’t believe that hogwash! I know Quigly’s sick, and I also know that he’s capable of violence. But I don’t believe he’d hurt his sister, and I know damned well that he’d never do anything to innocent children.”
“I know it, too,” she said. “But I promised Ann I’d never let Quigly be alone with them. This is what I mean, darling. We can’t live like this. Not really being sure what my son might do in some unbalanced moment.”
“Do you think he really threatened Ann? She’s always had a flair for the dramatic.”
“I don’t know whether he really threatened her or not. But I do know that there’s a possibility that he could have. And that’s one fact I have to face.”
“There’s another fact you have to face as well,” a voice from the doorway said. Ann stood looking at them. “I couldn’t make up such an evil story. I’m not a pathological liar or a psychopath, even if you think I’m an accomplished actress.”
“No, my dear, but you are a bit of an eavesdropper,” Tony said. “Just how much of this presumably private conversation did you hear?”
“Enough to know that you think I’m not telling the truth, Tony. That’s too bad. I’d rather be thought of as a homewrecker than a storyteller.”
Tony looked baffled. “A homewrecker?”
Ann seemed almost amused. “I gather you didn’t tell him that part of the story, Mother.”
Tony looked at Elizabeth. “Will somebody please tell me what this is all about?”
“It’s all about nothing,” Elizabeth said angrily. “It’s so unpleasant and stupid that I didn’t think it bore repeating. Ann claims that Quigly thinks she’s flirting with you, Tony. More than that, according to her, he believes she’s trying to break up our marriage. Now, do you really blame me for not even going into that? Even Ann knows it’s insane. She told me so yesterday.”
“Of course it’s insane,” Ann agreed. “Isn’t that the whole point? Quigly is mad. And whether or not you believe that I’m telling it exactly as it happened, both of you know that he’s unpredictable and dangerous. You have no right to let him wander loose, not knowing what terrible thing he’ll do next. You wait. He really will murder somebody one of these days and you’ll never forgive yourselves for it!”
“I don’t want to talk about it any more,” Elizabeth said. “We know what we have to do, Ann. Leave it at that, will you, please?”
Ann subsided. “Where are the kids?”
“Walking on the beach with Quigly and Peter,” Tony said. “That’s a nice guy you have. I’m glad you didn’t lose him.”
Ann poured herself a cup of coffee. “Lose Peter? No chance. I can’t believe the way I panicked a few months ago. It was all a big grandstand play–that business about wanting a divorce. Not that I ever would have given him one. Anyway, all’s quiet again. As you can see, Peter is happy as a clam. He thinks he asserted himself and won. That’s all he needed. Just one teeny little victory. I don’t know why I took it so seriously. He’ll never try it again.”
Elizabeth busied herself at the sink. “How nice to be so confident,” she said wryly. “You’re always in complete control, aren’t you?”
“Of course, Mother. I learned it from you.”
Tony stood up. “What a shame you didn’t learn a few other things,” he said.
“Such as?”
“Oh, nothing big. Just some unimportant traits like loyalty and tenderness and the ability to make a man feel like a man.” He looked at her with pity. “Poor Quigly. He really is in a bad way if he thinks you’re sexy. You’re not woman enough to break up this marriage or any other.” He opened the back door. “Sorry,” he said, “that was a low blow, wasn’t it? I need some fresh air.”
Ann watched him go. She was beet-red. Then she turned furiously to Elizabeth.
“How can you live with a man like that? What incredible gall–Tony Alexander accusing me of not being womanly! Implying I don’t know how to satisfy a man! Well, he should know. He satisfied Robert Gale long enough! I’m surprised he can do anything for you, Mother. Or does he?”
Elizabeth did not raise her voice, but the look in her eyes was as close to hatred as Ann had ever seen.
“I don’t want to believe that I heard what you just said, Ann. You’d better get out of my sight before I forget you’re my daughter.”
The younger woman backed down. “I’m sorry, Mother. I spoke without thinking. I didn’t really mean–”
“Get out!” Suddenly it was a scream.
Frightened, Ann ran from the kitchen. In her room she sank trembling to the bed. Then she got up and began to pack. As soon as Peter and the children get back, we’ll leave, she told herself. I won’t stay in this house another day. Quigly, Tony, Mother–they’re all against me. Maybe we can get an afternoon flight to New York. Peter wouldn’t understand this precipitous departure, but it didn’t matter. She’d just tell him she wanted to go home. He’d do what she wanted. He always did.
She was throwing their clothes feverishly into the bags when her husband came back from his walk. He stood stock still, not able to comprehend what he saw.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“Peter, I want to leave today. We’re going back to New York on the first plane we can get. I won’t stay here another minute. Please call the airport while I pack our things and get the children ready. You can order a cab, too.”
He was dumbfounded. “Ann, what’s this all about? Are you crazy? We can’t just pick up and leave like this! What’s happened?”
“I don’t have time to talk about it, Peter. I’m going home.”
“Then you can damned well go alone,” he said. “You’re behaving like a lunatic! What brought this on? Two hours ago we were all having a quiet breakfast and looking forward to tonight. Then I get back from a little walk and find you acting like a madwoman.” He pushed her roughly into a chair. “Now you tell me exactly what happened and then I’ll decide whether or not we’re going home.”
