Okay, But Try Not to Murder Anyone 8, page 1
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Cast of Characters from Book 7:
Jonah Patterson: Human. Superhero Liaison at FBI. Brown hair. Blue eyes. He possesses permanently attached Ke-Beech cuff artifacts that give him power, strength, and protection through kinetic energy
Laura Mayhew: Human. FBI Agent/Girlfriend. Ice-blonde hair. Blue eyes. Comes from generational wealth, so her work is her passion instead of a paycheck. Very eager to please her superiors.
Elaine Mizrahi: Human. FBI Agent/Girlfriend. Brown hair. Brown eyes. Former Israeli soldier, general badass.
Mary Johnson: Human. FBI Agent/Girlfriend. Dark curly hair. Green eyes. Bubbly and cutesy, pop culture nerd.
Sloan Hawk: Shapeshifter. Love Interest. Short black hair. Brown eyes. Comes from the Algonquin tribe, can shapeshift, and joined forces with Jonah’s team to recover more artifacts.
Sammy Dabrowski: Human. FBI Agent. Large, broad body type with red hair and a big beard. The team’s IT guy and mentor to Mary about all things tech.
Barry Samburne: Human. FBI Director. Tall, athletic build, with distinguished salt-and-pepper hair. Very stoic and professional but has respect for Jonah’s team. Also has a personal stake in finding more artifacts because his brother was killed on a similar mission.
Greg Reynolds: Human. FBI Agent. Brown hair and eyes. He sees Laura as a rival and has had it out for Jonah since the beginning. He’s tried to sabotage their plans and missions before but failed.
Appius Smith: Human. Notorious criminal. Short, bald, and with a crooked nose, he was a rival criminal to Bannister, trying to tear down his empire. He was killed during one of Jonah’s recent missions.
Richard Bannister: Human. Criminal, Most Wanted by FBI. Leader of the Black Market Group, possesses several dangerous artifacts and will stop at nothing to get more.
Chapter 1
“Here, let me help you.” Laura Mayhew, the beautiful blonde agent who changed my life by bringing me into the FBI, smiled as she looped a tie around my neck.
“Thanks,” I said, and I raised my chin so Laura could tie the tie.
When she finished, she stepped back and gestured to the mirror. She did a much better job of it than I would have done, so I turned and pulled the blonde woman in for a kiss.
“You look so handsome,” Laura murmured against my lips when we broke apart, and she tugged at the lapels of my dress shirt. “That suit looks so good on you.”
“And you look stunning.” I took a step back and held the blonde woman out at arm’s length. “Damn girl, do a spin.”
Laura’s cheeks blushed a light pink, and she giggled as I held her hand above her head while she did a little spin for me. She was wearing a tight black pencil skirt with a pale pink blouse with smart black heels, and her ice-blonde hair was swept into a high, professional bun.
“You don’t think it’s too… girly?” Laura asked as she made a face. “I want them to take me seriously. This is the Director’s job on the line here.”
“Of course not, you command every room you walk into, don’t even worry about that,” I said.
“Unless you’re in the room,” Laura said with a grin and extracted her hand from mine. “Then you’re the default commander.”
“It’s the cuffs,” I said as I raised my forearms to flex the tattooed cuffs.
Laura’s smile faded as she handed me my suit jacket, and her face twisted into an expression of worry. I shot her a sympathetic smile as I shrugged my jacket on and checked my reflection in the mirror in our bedroom to straighten it out. Laura also slung her matching jacket over her blouse, and we faced each other with somber expressions.
“Okay, are you ready?” Laura asked as she twisted her hands nervously.
“Hey, it’s all going to be okay,” I said as I laid a reassuring hand on the blonde woman’s elbow. “Come on, Elaine and Mary are waiting for us.”
“Okay.” Laura let out a shaky sigh.
We headed out to the living room, where Elaine and Mary were also dressed in professional pencil skirt suits. Elaine wore a red blouse under her jacket, and her thick hair was pulled back into a low ponytail. Mary wore a silk, long-sleeved green blouse without a jacket, and she kept her curly hair down. They all looked beautiful, but I did miss the fifth member of our little crew, Sloan Hawk.
While Sloan technically worked with us at the Bureau, she was a pretty recent addition, so she wasn’t asked to testify about anything. She assured us she had some business to take care of in the city and had left the condo shortly before we started to get ready for the trial.
The energy in the air was nervous as we prepared to head into HQ to testify on behalf of the Director, who was under review by the Ethics Board, after his rival, Paul Whelan, turned up dead in a locked hotel room.
I knew all of this because, well, I was the one who killed him.
Whelan had been responsible for the death of the Director’s brother years ago, and the Director and I came to a mutual understanding that Whelan’s time on this earth had come to an end. We didn’t discuss details, but when we had some downtime during a separate mission, I took care of things. Of course, the only people who knew that were the Director and everyone in this room, and I knew my ladies would never turn on me.
“Good lord, we need to go to Ethics hearings more often,” Mary said as she eyed me up and down. “You look damn good in that suit.”
“Doesn’t he?” Laura asked as she gave me a quick side hug.
“So handsome,” Elaine agreed with a smile. Then her smile faltered as her face blanched, and she put a hand to her stomach.
“Uh-oh,” Mary said, and her green eyes went wide. “More morning sickness? Do you need anything?”
“I’m okay,” Elaine muttered, but the wince on her face said something else.
“You sure?” I stepped up to the beautiful foreign woman and laid a hand on her stomach, where she was currently carrying our baby. “You don’t have to come to the trial. I’ll make sure they understand it’s a medical thing.”
“No,” Elaine said with a firm shake of her head. “I want to go. I want to defend the Director.”
“Moral as ever,” Laura said.
“It’s impressive,” Mary giggled. “When I get pregnant, I’m going to milk it for all I can. Bed rest, maternity leave, the full monty.”
“When, eh?” Laura asked with raised eyebrows. “Planning on it soon?”
“I’m certainly not opposed to the idea.” Mary’s green eyes sparkled as she flashed an excited smile. “Don’t you want to, Laura? We can all have little babies at the same time, oh, my god, how fun would that be?”
“Yes, that sounds amazing,” Laura said. “But maybe we should get through the first pregnancy first.”
“Maybe.” Mary shrugged as she donned a wicked smile. “Maybe not. Any input, Jonah?”
“I’m planning on putting babies in all of you, I don’t care when it happens,” I said as I ran my hand over Elaine’s stomach.
She wasn’t showing yet, but I couldn’t wait for that little baby bump to come through. I knew all of my girlfriends would be absolutely glowing during pregnancy, and I agreed with Mary. It would be adorable for them all to have babies at about the same time.
But Laura also had a point. Especially now that Bannister had reinstated the bounty on my head. Not only my head, Bannister told me he was making it his personal mission to eliminate me and my girlfriends. It was actually the most dangerous time yet for the women to be getting pregnant. We hadn’t planned for Elaine to get pregnant, but we were all ecstatic about the news.
Now, I just needed to be sure to keep them all, including the baby, safe from Bannister and the bounty hunters who were undoubtedly searching for us at this very moment. Of course, I had the power of the cuffs to help me, and the women were no strangers to danger. Still, the thought of anything bad happening to them had my heart in a vise grip, but I didn’t want them to worry, so I put on a smile.
“That’s good, because I already stopped taking my birth control,” Mary said nonchalantly.
“Mary!” Laura chided, but then her blue eyes went wide as she glanced down at Mary’s stomach. “You don’t think you’re…”
“No, not yet,” Mary said. “I only stopped a couple days ago. But you should consider it, too.”
“Let’s get through the hearing first,” Laura said, and she suddenly looked nervous again.
“Laura is right, let’s focus on getting the Director cleared,” Elaine chimed in.
“Fine,” Mary sighed.
“Let’s get this over with,” Laura said as she chewed on her bottom lip. “Ugh, I wish there was a way I could read their minds and give them exactly what they want to hear.”
Suddenly, everyone froze as we all seemed to come to the same realization at the same time.
“I can do that,” I muttered.
“The penjig earring!” Elaine cried out. “Of course!”
“I’ll be right back,” I said with a grin.
I
“It’s perfect,” Laura said in a hopeful tone, but then her face fell again. “Ugh, I wish it would work for me, though. I’m so worried about saying the wrong thing.”
“Don’t worry about it at all,” I said as I tucked the earring safely into my breast pocket, and I turned my neck to address all the women. “Keep your answers short and to the point. Don’t offer any more information than you need to. Don’t let them rattle you.”
“You make it sound so easy,” Laura grumbled as she started to twist her hands nervously again.
“It is that easy,” Mary insisted. “You’re worrying too much, Laura.”
The blonde woman let out a hysterical snort of laughter.
“I think you all aren’t worrying enough,” she fretted.
“Hey, it’s going to be okay,” I said as I left Elaine’s side to comfort the panicking agent. “Think about it. They want the Director to be innocent. Can you imagine the PR nightmare it would be if he wasn’t?”
“That’s a good point,” Laura replied, and her face relaxed as she nodded thoughtfully. “Okay, let’s get going before we’re late.”
The women and I made our way down to the secured parking garage and piled into the Blackwing. I took the driver’s seat, as usual, and drove us the short distance to the FBI headquarters in Chicago.
There was a somber energy as we entered the building, but then again, it was well known the Director had an ethics trial today. Some agents even knew we were testifying, and they gave us encouraging nods as we crossed the atrium toward the bank of elevators. Mary pressed the call button, and one of the elevators slid open, so we hopped on and rode it up to the tenth floor where the trial would take place.
“Alright, this is it,” I said in a low voice as we emerged from the elevators on the tenth floor. “Remember, short answers and no extra details.”
“Got it,” Elaine said.
“Yip.” Mary nodded.
“Okay,” Laura murmured in a strangled tone.
“It’ll all be fine,” I said firmly.
I led the women down the corridor until we made it to a closed door with a placard next to it that read 10B: ETHICS BOARD
I rapped my knuckles on the door, took a step back, and inhaled sharply as I waited for it to open.
A few seconds later, a young-looking male agent in an ill-fitting suit opened the door.
“Um, for the Samburne hearing, right?” the agent asked as he shuffled on his feet nervously.
I figured he must be an intern or something.
“That’s right, all four of us are here to testify on the Director’s behalf,” I said professionally.
“Right, um, follow me,” the intern said.
I held the door open for the women as the intern hurried into the room, which turned out to be a small reception area. There was a plain desk pointed toward the door, and a row of blue fabric office chairs were lined up against the wall. At the back of the receptionist area were two closed doors, then a small corridor that disappeared into the left of the room.
The women stayed quiet as the intern shuffled back behind the desk.
“Busy day?” I asked to lighten the mood.
“So busy.” The intern let out a nervous laugh as he gestured to the chairs. “Please, take a seat. They said they’ll come out to get you individually.”
“Thanks,” I said.
The women filed into the seats, and I took the one closest to the closed doors. Laura sat next to me, and she still looked so nervous that I was worried she’d be sick. Next to her was Elaine, who also looked sick, but I knew that was more from the pregnancy than anxiety about the trial. Mary sat at the end of the row, and she might as well have been going to the dentist. She even started swinging her feet as she looked around the small reception area.
“I wonder who’s going first,” Mary said in a loud whisper.
I saw the intern shoot a quick glance at us before he turned and started typing on his laptop. Once I was sure he was distracted, I reached into my pocket and discreetly pulled the penjig earring out. I slipped it into my ear without the intern noticing, and I was instantly bombarded with the inner thoughts of everyone around me. The loudest voice was Laura’s, who was running through all the scenarios of the trial in her head, so I reached over, grabbed her hand, and leaned into her.
“Babe, you need to relax,” I said in a low voice. “All I can hear with this thing in are your worried thoughts. I promise it’ll all be okay.”
“What if it’s not?” Laura asked as her face twisted into fear.
“Remember, they want him to be innocent.” I tapped the earring. “I’ll make sure to give them what they want. Do you trust me?”
“Of course,” Laura replied immediately.
“Then, please relax.” I patted her hand again. “We’ve got this.”
Before Laura could respond, one of the closed doors suddenly swung open, and a tall, red-haired woman appeared at the doorway. She looked up and down the row of seats where we were all seated until her eyes fell on mine.
“Jonah Patterson?” she asked.
“That’s me,” I said as I stood up and buttoned my suit jacket.
“Follow me, please,” the woman said and stepped back from the door.
“Of course.”
I shot my girlfriends a quick nod before I followed the red-haired woman into the room, and she quickly shut the door behind me. It was a modified conference room, but instead of one big conference table for everyone to sit around, it had been rearranged so there was one long table along the back of the room, and a singular desk and chair in the middle of the room. There were four men sitting at the long table, and their eyes followed me as I entered the room.
My mind started to fill with the thoughts of the people around me, but I knew it was more important to appear present and gathered at the moment, so I tuned the voices out for now.
“Take a seat here, please,” the woman said, and she gestured to the single chair and desk.
I made my way to the desk while the woman made her way to the long table and sat in the middle of the men, so there were two of them on each side. Once we had sat down, the red-haired woman picked up a pen and referenced a paper in front of her.
“Can you please confirm your full name?” the woman asked without looking at me.
“Jonah Patterson,” I said in a loud, clear voice.
The agents behind the desk nodded, and the red-haired woman looked up at me.
“Do you know who I am?” she asked.
“I’m sorry, I don’t,” I said as I interlaced my fingers and laid my hands on the desk in front of me.
“My name is Melissa Cotillard, I am the head of the Ethics Board,” she said in a matter-of-fact voice. “Today, we are discussing the actions of Mr. Barry Samburne. I understand you work under his charge?”
“That’s correct,” I said with a nod. I opened my mouth to explain my role, but then I remembered my own advice and kept my answers short and direct.
“And how long have you worked with the Bureau now?” Melissa asked with raised eyebrows.
“Just short of a year,” I said.
“And you have worked under Mr. Samburne the whole time?” Melissa inquired.
“Correct,” I said with another nod.
The members of the Ethics board murmured to each other and shuffled papers, and then one of the male agents addressed me.
“You have seen quite the rise to fame since you’ve worked with the Bureau,” the fiftyish-year-old dude said in a gravelly voice. “Could you say a few words as to how you’ve managed to rise the ranks so quickly?”
“Sorry, who am I speaking to?” I asked politely.
“Agent Michael Morris,” the man replied. Then he nodded to indicate that I should answer his question.
“I’m not sure what you mean,” I said in a level tone. “My team and I have undertaken several dangerous missions since our time here, and they have all been successes. I believe my work speaks for itself.”
There was another murmur among themselves, and I decided it was time to tune into the penjig earring.
