Love at Sukkot, page 12
“Our stories are the same in that way. Maybe there’s something to the street preaching.”
“There has to be. You know.” I allow the conversation to drop for a few minutes before clearing my throat.
“You umm… asked about what happened to make me leave the AE.”
He makes a sound of agreement. I clear my throat and ask the Most High for courage to share this tale.
“Everything started off good. It felt a lot like going to regular church, but the teaching was different. Every time I learned a little bit more about where I came from, you know. I’ve always known the story of how my mama’s family came to the Americas, but this teaching made me feel a connection to home like never before. I began to love reading scripture because I was able to see myself more in each of the characters.” I allow my words to trail off as my mind drifts back in time to a younger Isabella. One looking for love, success, and belonging. Dominik is patient as I find the words. His large palm strokes the side of my body undeterred by the soft rolls on my sides or the curb of my belly. His touch soothes me as I dive into the thick of things.
“After a while, I started to draw the eye of Fletcher and a few of the other men. I was so obtuse, I didn’t even realize that some of them were already married. The teaching began to switch from the history of our people and the prophecies of us being regathered to the sins of adulterous women.” My thoughts go to some of those teachings and how they made me feel in those days. I wasn’t a virgin, and I felt disgusting. It was the perfect set up for the next events that happened.
“How women have to submit to the authority of a man and that a single, childless woman was a shame to the community. I took all of Yahim’s words as gospel truth so I didn’t question it. I opened myself to be pursued by some of the guys. Until, Fletcher took an interest in me. I don’t know why to this day, maybe he learned that my family had a little money. He started coming around me all the time when I would be on campus. He would invite me to hang out at the building on First Street. He would take me different places. I was flattered. For awhile.” I run a hand up and down his hard chest it’s more of a nervous action but his body is the best form of distraction. Dominik grabs my hand and holds it against his chest.
“Did you do anything with him?” I wiggle my fingers in his hold needing the motion.
“No, I never did. I wasn’t attracted to him. I was more so…flattered by the attention. One night he invited me over to his place to watch a movie. I knew that he had children, so I wasn’t surprised to see them there. I was surprised to see his wife there. I feel so dumb talking about it now.”
Dominik’s hand tightens on my thigh as I get to this part. This isn’t even the worst of it. I flip his hold on my hand and lace my finger with his. I stroke the skin of his hand with the side of my thumb. I think the contact soothes us both as he releases the unrelenting hold he has on my thighs to continue stroking at the flesh of my side.
“At first, I thought that she was just dropping them off for a visit. I became more awkward and uncomfortable when we sat down on the couch for the movie and she stayed. Here Fletcher was, sitting beside me on the couch with his arm around my shoulder and his wife was at the other end of the same couch. I had never spoken with her. She was distant. Cold. I had no idea about the dynamic of the relationships in the camp. I sat through the whole movie and had Fletcher walk me out. I questioned him about his wife and children. He told me straight up that I was going to be his second wife and that I should get used to it. I tried to separate myself from him after that.” I clench his hand harder and bury my face in his neck. I don’ know how to share this next part and I already feel dumb.
“If that’s all you can share right now, I understand. Thank you for telling me all of this.” Dominik presses his warm, velvet lips to my forehead. I lean back and look up at him.
“Will you kiss me? Please?” We remain connected as he leans down to take my lips. His palm at my leg is seductive. I hold my lips to his. Neither of us push to deepen the kiss. I savour the connection and my entire being begins to weep at the possibility of losing this kind of connection. This intimacy. I thought the turmoil was just internal, but when I pull back one small tear escapes through my lashes. I allow my lashes to hide my eyes as I continue softly.
“I tried to be scarce after that. Everyone knew that Fletcher had claimed me in a way. The vibes started to change like a veil had fallen from my eyes. There was this event happening that fall. One of the elders from out of state was coming to lead a revival at the camp. Before I learned the truth, I agreed to act as a welcoming committee of sorts. I should have backed out of it, but I decided to go. It was just me, Fletcher, and Katlyn, his wife. We showed him around the church and then took him back to Fletcher’s office. When they shook hands, Fletcher said, ‘I hope my wives showed you a good time.’ I was shocked for a minute thinking I heard him wrong. Then the elder said something to me referring to me as Fletcher’s wife. I didn’t think anything of it. I denied it immediately.“Another tear, followed by a third and then a forth, make tracks down my face as I try to catch my breath and push out the words.
“Shhhh.” Dominik tries to free his hand, but I hold on tight. I started this and I need to finish it. My mind draws up a picture of that night. The men standing beside each other in their formal robes. Their laughing faces turning to skepticism and one to anger as I deny being bound to Fletcher.
“His face got so angry. The elder made some remark about making sure to add notes to his sermon on women knowing their right place. I was furious. I felt righteous in what I said. I wan’t married to Fletcher. We really weren’t dating. We hung out a few times, but I wasn’t with him in that way. They wrapped up their meeting and Fletcher showed him out. Katlyn and I started to clean up the church. Fletcher stormed back in. He told me to go to one of the conference rooms. That we needed to talk. My stupid self, I agreed. I went back there to wait on him. I had so many words that I planned to say. The door opened and some men from the camp came in. I was terrified immediately. Fletcher followed them in.” I’m crying so hard now that I don’t even know if Dominik can understand my words. He snatches his hand from mine and turns toward me to gather me to his chest. He tries to hush me, but I push back.
“No! No, no, no. I have to say it now. Let me say it!” I pull back and rub at my salty eyes. His hands run the length of my back, shoulders and arms.
“Fletcher started to yell at me. He said that I was an immoral woman. That I needed correction. That I was a child and needed to learn the error of my ways. I was shaking with so much fear and anger. I don’t know what I said to set him off. The next thing I remember is that his belt was in his hands. He started to whip me with it. Not just him, but all of the men. Th..th…they beat me with their belts. The whole time saying how I was an immoral woman. How Yah hated me for my sin. How I needed to be punished and repent for my wicked ways. I don’t know how long it lasted. I tried to cover my face and head. I screamed and cried so much that I think I made it worse. B…bbb…by the time they were done, I was horse. I was sore and had welts all over.” Dominik lifts my sobbing body from the bench. He enfolds me into his massive embrace. It’s odd after reliving the nightmare I endured that I’m able to feel safe, feel comfort, and even feel whole around a man from the AE. He rocks me back and forth like a child.
“Oh, Yah. Help me. Help me. Help me.” His voice is anguished and broken. I cry harder at hearing it. He shared in my sorrow. In my remembrance. I ache in remembering the soreness of my body. I’ve never known fear and pain like I did that dreadful night. It takes time, but we both calm.
My voice is a rasp as I speak, “I’m not sure how long I laid there. I was crying, hurting, and in pain. Derrick had been new at the camp. I think he was there to hang out with the men. After they left me on the floor in the room, he came in to get me. He told me to be quiet and snuck me out the back door by the kitchen. He had pulled his car around the back. He wanted me to go to the hospital and to the police. I don’t know why I didn’t. I just wanted to go home and sleep. To forget the horror. I never went back again. I didn’t leave my apartment for several weeks after that.”
Dominik’s body shakes.
“Are you upset?”
His arms tighten around me. “I’m so furious. I want to kill him. How dare he touch you. How dare they….” The words catch in his throat.
”I’ve felt for a minute now. No, I’ve known. I know that he’s a disgusting man. That he hits his wives. I just never thought. To have those…. those…” The words catch in his chest and I know he wants to cuss. I shift my hold on him from clinging for comfort to attempting to provide the comfort.
“Shhhh…. I reach one hand up to cup his face through his beard. The hairs are moist with his tears and his teeth clench tightly with his angry passion. I love how expressive he is. How open and unguarded all of his features are.
“It’s okay. Shhhh…. I’m okay.” I stroke his face and tug at his beard. He doesn’t relent. I climb from his hold to straddle his thick thighs. The position leaves me spread open, but I hold myself up as not to drive either us too far. I bury one hand in his hair as the other works his beard and chin.
“Hey, now. I’m supposed to be the one hurting not you.”
His gaze burns as he stares into me. “I would be less of a man if I didn’t hurt and feel anger over the women who has my heart.”
My heart stutters, but his eyes won’t release me. I have his heart? My eyes swell again. This time with joy.
I dive for his lips. My kiss is wild. I need this contact just as much as I need my next breath. I can tell how undone he is, because he allows the unruliness of the kiss. I bite at his full bottom lip as I move to grind down on top of him. Dominik must feel my intent. His hands at my waist held me to him. Now his large palms claps and hold my thighs. His tight hold keeps me from settling down on top of him as I intended. I bite harder at his lip before growling against them.
“How are you always so in control?” I tug his hair hard so that he has little choice but to tilt his head back.
“I need to be strong where you are weak. You don’t make it easy for me, though.” My teeth go to his chin where his beard is the thinnest. I bite at his chin and neck ruthlessly. I don’t suck the skin as to avoid leaving a mark, but this small amount of violence soothes the turmoil inside of me.
“You will be strong when I am weak, as you just showed me. You’re too precious to be treated like a bang and run. Besides, I’m too old for that.”
I throw my head back and laugh. “You can’t be much older than thirty.” I look down at him from my lofty position.
“I’m 29.” I roll my eyes.
“Exactly. Not too old for a hit and run.” He looks at me deeply. His eyes roam the expanse of my neck and face. His large hands tighten on my thighs.
“Maybe. That doesn’t keep me from desiring more. Desiring real. Is this real to you. Issa?” I lick my lips before answering.
“The realest thing I’ve ever known. Which is crazy because it’s only been two days.” Dominik reaches up to press his lips to my neck. I fall into him so that he can have full access to me. He bites down on the curve where neck meets collar. I gasp.
“Time doesn’t matter when it’s destined.” He kisses the spot he just bit before leaning back. I push the matter by leaning forward and pressing my breasts into his chest.
“Do you think we’re destined?” I trail more kisses along his jawline.
“I’m starting to believe so. There’s something special here between us, Issa.” A smile stretches my lips as I pepper his face with kisses. He laughs at me.
“I think I’ve learned your love language. But I need you to get off of me. You know how to test a man’s righteousness.” I laugh with him before pressing my lips to his long and hard. I pull back and unstraddle his lap. Dominik adjusts himself and breathes deeply for a few beats. I know my face resembles that of a feline who has had her fill as I watch him.
“Stop smiling before I throw you in the lake. Your hot blooded tail needs to chill out.” The tension evaporates in the air as we laugh together. I feel freedom in this moment that I could have never imagined.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Days of Bliss
DOMINIK
The next few days pass with a level of bliss that is foreign to me. Issa and I have quickly become an Issa and I. We are rarely far from each other, except when we part at night to go to our respective sukkas. I’ve spent less time around the AE camp to keep from having a run in with Fletcher and repaying him for his past actions toward Issa. Each day I see little more of how well we fit together even when we disagree.
Issa is warm, plush, and enticing. Sometimes our relationship feels so carnal, but then other times it feels blessed and righteous. Just yesterday we walked through the grounds hand in hand.
“So, have you done any work towards starting your company, so that you can employ men with a rap sheet?”
I tugged her towards the swimming pools as we wandered. “Nah. I’m still trying to see how I’m gone do it. I always saw myself taking over my pop’s business. I don’t really know how to do it on my own.”
She nodded her head. “Yeah, you would probably need to start an LLC. And make sure you hire a few staff members to handle payroll, hiring, marketing, and scheduling.” She continued to ramble on and it all sounded great, but it wasn’t something that I could do.
I hedged around the suggestions, “Yeah, I don’t know. I’ll probably just keep trying to get bigger contracting jobs. Just grow my reputation as a general contractor.”
She pulled me to a stop and turned to face me. “Dominik, are you afraid of starting this business?” She looked me dead in the eyes. The back of my neck began to itch in discomfort. I reached back to rub at the unease.
“I mean, it’s a lot to take on. I don’t think I’m ready for all that.”
She stood up straighter. “Dominik, you are the most head strong man I’ve ever met. You tackle problems like they’re bowling pins. Whatever you’re feeling right now is a spirit of fear and doubt and we need to pray against it.” She didn’t even wait for my consent. She pulled down my hand from the back of my neck, and began to cover me in prayer. Her powerful declarations lifted me up and I began to feel uncertainty fall off of me. She waged war on my behalf in the spirit realm for my destiny and prayed that people would begin to flock to me to bring this vision to reality. When she looked up at me, her eyes were bright and confident. I couldn’t help pulling her plush body into my hard one. She fits against me so perfectly that I’ve had to pray frequently and fervently not to misstep and fall into unfruitful lust.
I thought I had misspoken three days before when I said she had my heart. We’ve only known each other a few days, but each day that statement becomes more true.
My mind travels to Deuteronomy 32:30. It has been running through my mind. Have I been given over to Isabelle Chambers? The question tracks with how quickly we’ve come together. If Yah has saw fit to do so, I’m not upset about it. I’ve never been so well aligned with a woman, not that I tried a whole lot in my early twenties. Over the last days, I’ve learned of her likes and dislikes. I’ve seen how she moves when times are a bit rough and she’s stressed out. I’ve experienced her exquisite joy. I have to actively fight back imagining how well we would fit together in…other ways.
“Why are you smiling like that?”
I open my eyes and squint into the sunlight. The hammock sways back and forth gently. “I’m just thinking.” The pace of the hammock goes frantic as Issa rolls herself into the swing beside me. I laugh at her attempts to get in.
“I…,” she huffs, “am scared to even ask… ah!” I catch her before she tumbles off the hammock to the ground.
“Whoa!” She giggles uproariously as she clings to me to keep from falling.
“Whew that was close.” She pants a bit as she catches her breath then lays her head on my shoulder. I rest my hand on the familiar spot of her hip.
“Like I was saying, I’m scared to ask what you were thinking about.” I smile bigger.
“Don’t be scared. I’m keeping it kosher up here.”
“Oh, really?” Her hand sweeps a path up and down my chest. My abdomen flexes automatically at the pleasure of her touch. She’s gotten so comfortable with this closeness between us. It’s a wide difference from six days ago when she was running away from me. Issa hums in the back of her throat.
“Well, if you say it’s safe. What were you thinking about Dom?” I tighten my hold on her hip for a few moments before releasing and rubbing the spot.
“I was thinking that I need to get you locked down real soon. You’re too tempting for my salvation.” Her hand pauses its motion. Issa pushes up making the hammock rock again. Her deep, brown eyes study me intently from her position. I feel the movement of her eyes on my face, jaw, chin, neck and lips.
“Did you mean…what you said the other day? When I told you about Fletcher?” Her question is vague, but I know what she’s referring to. I’ve been thinking about that exact thing as well.
“Yeah. I’ve been thinking about it lately.” My mind drifts to my first day here.
“A couple of days ago, I took a nap in my tent. I think I had a…vision maybe? I’m still not sure. I don’t remember everything about it. I do remember this place. It was a building. My parents were there and I was there. We were having a meal like old times. I’m not sure though.” My mind drifts back to that vision. I’ve prayed for it to come back to me but I still only remember snatches.
“I’m not sure what was all going on in the vision dream thing, but I do remember two things. I remember this smell. Man, it was the most amazing smell. Like honey and sugar and cinnamon. I also remember how I felt. It was like going from the deepest darkest depression to a place of love, light, and joy.” I reach up and cup her silky cheek.
