Jane Bond, page 16
part #1 of Jane Bond Series
We pulled up in front of my apartment building, hopped out of the taxi, and went in. As we got near the door, I could hear the phone ringing inside. I managed to get the door open and dashed in to grab the phone. “Hello?”
Nina’s voice, “Hey. I see you never did get a real phone.”
Slightly wounded. “This IS a real phone. I just hate having a leash.”
I could hear the grin in her voice, “Not always. But, this isn’t about that. You still short a TV?”
“Uh huh. Can’t see the point in that either.”
“Well, if you had a TV you could turn on channel 24 and look at the party going on downtown. It’s a great party, lots of celebrities, local personages, political hacks, Evelyn Weintraub ... “
I blinked. “I thought you had Evelyn Weintraub on a slab.”
“I do. Or at least I have someone that looks just like the Evelyn Weintraub that’s walking around the stage downtown right now.”
“What, twins or something?”
“Not according to the internet, which you could also look up if you had a computer. Can I call you a luddite yet? Anyhow, she’s supposedly an only child. And her mom’s sister doesn’t have any other kids anywhere close to that age. And if they were, both of them are boys to boot.
I just stood there in silence for a minute. “Ok, thanks for letting me know, Ren. Are you planning on doing anything about it?”
“Well, we’re notifying next of kin right now. But, all things considered, I’m not sure what to do. I mean, she looks very much alive. It’s going to be a bit of a shock for someone - like her - to come in here and see herself. Dead.” She sighed. “I’ll let the bosses know, let them handle it. This is why it’s nice NOT to be the M.E. Assuming Evelyn comes in, I’ll swab some DNA for comparison. If she doesn’t, I suppose I’ll have to send someone out to track her down and do it. Honestly though, I feel like I should hear the “Twilight Zone” music in the background.”
I nodded, as if she could hear my head rattle, thanked her, and hung up.
I looked at Alex.
She said, “Evelyn Weintraub is alive?”
I shook my head in puzzlement. “Yes and no. Apparently the body is resting comfortably at 1 Newhall, but Evelyn is at a party right now and she’s pretty active for a dead person.
Cinnamon Roll Capers – Catnapped
Coming in 2020 or 2021
Imanaged to get under him and got his shoulders, picked him up and cradled his head between my breasts. At least they have SOME use. I dragged him outside, down the two steps trying to bang him around as little as possible. I managed to get my butt over the passenger seat and levered him up and in the Jeep, then slithered out from under him and out the driver side. Back around to the other side, I got his legs up and inside the footwell, then arranged him and buckled him in. I got an old blanket out of the back and tried to get his head padded so it wouldn’t move from side to side much. Crap. This is gonna be bad.
I slammed the door shut on the house, and the passenger side of the Jeep, then jumped in the driver side. I cranked her up, and backed off the lawn, whipped around and started off down the mountain. I tried to minimize the side to side motion, but it was tough. I decided it might be better to take it slow rather than beat him deader or run off the edge of a cliff, and it took me nearly 30 minutes to get him back to town. I arrived unceremoniously at the little clinic and ran inside, reporting what I had. A couple people grabbed a gurney and I left it to them at that point, getting him out and inside. I talked to the receptionist and hung around for a bit, then went out and moved Anna to the parking lot.
I called Mary and told her what happened, and she started laughing. “Yeah, I bet. It’s a great joke, but I’m not buying.”
I said, “This is no joke. I’m here at the clinic, the mayor is inside with a bloody head. I’m not even sure if he’s gonna make it, he was out completely when I got to his house.”
Dead silence. Then, “This isn’t some kind of revenge for the cat thing, right? I mean, I just wanted you to meet him.”
Slow burn. “You mean, it really WAS a setup? There was no catnapping or anything?”
“Uh, no. Catnapping, for 50k? Are you kidding?”
Shouting now, “Then why was he knocked out with a bloody head wound in the entrance of his house?? You better get over here NOW, Mare.” One thing I miss about landline phones was the ability to slam the handset down, it’s not anywhere near as satisfying to click that little button, no matter how hard you push it.
V R Tapscott, Jane Bond
