Tex and Molly in the Afterlife, page 3
So where, or when, exactly, were Tex & Molly?
TEX (0')
An enfoldment of black: a caress.
Motion. Carrying, rocking, mothering motion.
Throaty krr krr krr like an incantation, song without melody or words, stripped down to sheer timbre.
Going away. Going...
And something else. A familiar ... what?
Ah:
Wing-beats.
MOLLY (0')
Perfect light. Pure liquid golden sunlight glinting off all the jewels that ever grew in the belly of the Earth. Dream blanket soft and warm spangled with stars, cutout moons, beautiful patterns, swirling and swelling, growing, knowing—
How exciting it felt to her! A thrill, a tingling that might be in her heart, or entering her heart from outside, filling her, fulfilling her—
Oh. Like a pang of joy. Agonizing, orgasmic. Too much, almost too much. Too full, too complete. And yet she could never get enough of this.
This.
Blinking something like her eyes.
Light streaming through where her eyes might have been.
Warmth. Growth. Plenitude.
Hugeness.
Gentle, overwhelming power.
Like a thing she knew. A texture she remembered.
Like some ... not a what. Some who .
TEX (1')
"Raven?"
Heard his own voice and that was something. Reassuring or whatever.
"Raven, are you there?"
Hollow and dark. Bottom of the Well? Things coming back, bits and bytes.
"Ow!"—as all of a sudden remembering. Trying to reach down, figure out where down was. Straining for a sense of body.
Had there really been wing-beats?
"Raven," he said—words more clearly audible now, the larynx forming itself around them, then the throat, the chest, the diaphragm. "Raven—my head hurts."
A rustling. The darkness moving, unfolding and refolding itself. His face brushed as if by feathers.
My face? he wondered. Touching it. Feeling fingers probe the skin. Still apart from him, though, some way. And still so dark, so vacant and still.
Whispering, "Raven?"—in a voice at once too loud, ringing, metal-edged with reverb.
And the Darkness answered:
I AM HERE.
MOLLY (1')
Lying on the breast of that unbounded plain.
Breeze moving soft through her hair: warm against her forehead: sweet as it entered and escaped her lungs.
Knowing the taste of it. Primordial recipe of minerals, earth-salts, amino acids, dissolved in water, drawn up in the air and scattered in rain, simmered under a younger, yellower sun.
Beginning over. (She understood now.)
Sinking new roots in the Underworld and unfurling upward, stretching open-armed for the heavens where light and music beckoned her. Retracing that old path, the ancient living pattern.
And gradually, by a process of steady and piecemeal accretion, retrieving the knowledge, the lessons and morals and memories that lay strewn about her like pebbles. Like popcorn. Like nuggets of gleaming white light.
Bear, she remembered—neither first nor last among the thoughts that came to her. She held on to it, though. Bear.
Bear. A mantra, of sorts.
Bear.
And sometime, anytime, the plain rose up and its grasses and flowers became a coat of fur. Its soil became flesh, its sunlight crystallized in two huge eyes, terrible and irresistible to look back at. The warm sweet breeze became breath. And then the monstrous Being lifted Molly up, unhurriedly examined her, and set her easily on her feet.
Molly felt herself whole again, though tiny and naked.
The Being was huge and clothed in an earth-colored hide. The two great eyes peered down at her; the nostrils tested her scent.
"Are you real?" Molly asked. She was surprised that she could talk, and somewhat more surprised that she had the nerve to.
The Being dropped suddenly onto its four paws, dug at the ground with its claws. This seemed to make the ground more real, more tangible. Solidity rippled outward in waves. Soil and rocks took shape, then trees and ferns and mosses. Like a bubble, the sky expanded over their heads. Birds cried down. Bugs buzzed. A snake emerged from a hole and coiled itself tightly up, holding its pose with infinite reptilian patience, as though waiting to see what would happen.
Molly felt as though she were starting to get the picture. She looked at the Being and said, "Are you the Goddess?"
The Being snorted. Like thunder. Like war-hammers.
Then that Voice—too loud and full of power to have been merely sound—came out of the Being, and It said:
WHERE AM I?
TEX (2')
"Who's there?" said Tex. All was still darkness, with a deeper Darkness at its core. WHOM DID YOU CALL?
— sounding distinctly impatient, the Darkness replied.
"I ... I don't think I called anyone."
THEN TELL ME WHO I AM. AND TELL ME HOW I CAME TO BE HERE. I SUGGEST YOU CONSIDER YOUR ANSWERS CAREFULLY. I AM ACCUSTOMED TO BEING RECEIVED WITH RATHER A GOOD DEAL MORE CEREMONY.
Tex groped. He groped first at himself, counting and sorting his body parts. (They were all present.) Then he groped for some clue as to what was going on here. Like, was this a world-class hallucination? And if so, then why could he not see anything so as to better enjoy it? He remembered a bumper sticker he had once proudly disptayed, on some rustbucket or another. The memory made him chuckle.
YOU LAUGH?
roared the Darkness, incredulous.
"Sorry, man. I was just thinking—you know, 'I brake for hallucinations,' remember that?"
The Darkness caused the entire world (or so it seemed) to shudder.
THIS IS NO OCCASION FOR JOKING. WHERE I GO, SUCH AN OCCASION SELDOM ARISES. NOW I ASK: DO YOU HAVE AN OFFERING FOR ME?
Tex figured by this time there was no way things could get any weirder. This was more outrageous than that time in Katmandu—getting off on something reputed to be no-bullshit soma while dying of malaria at the same time. The old rishi fucker that sold him the soma brought him to life in the nick of time—or perhaps just after the nick; there were some pretty cool death rushes there for a little bit—and so he lived, or lived again, to tell about it, though of course words could never do a thing like that justice. But that was nothing compared to this.
Could it be (it came to him to wonder) that this time, it's the Real Scene?
ANSWER ME
demanded the Darkness.
"Right, right," said Tex. "But if you don't mind my asking: who are you?"
Then there was light.
And Tex was hanging upside down from a gnarled, naked-limbed thorn tree. The branches of the tree were full of ravens. The ravens screamed in mockery. Tex recognized the scene from a tarot painting.
It changed.
Now he was being held down under a river. A huge fish—a salmon—was staring him in the face. The water was icy and Tex struggled not to breathe, but in vain. Slivers of pain laced his lungs. The salmon had a know-it-all expression on its scaly face. Tex writhed as his lungs imploded. Something like this happened to somebody once before, he recalled.
It changed again.
Bound securely with what appeared to be his own stretched-out intestines, Tex could not look away from the aged and terrible Crone that stood before him with a long, rusty knife. The end of the knife was bent, forming an unpleasant-appearing hook, like some kind of bird claw. Cackling, the Crone plunged the knife into Tex, twisted it around a bit, dragged it out with some of his liver attached. Do not imagine that Tex did not acutely feel all this.
Well, he thought, that ought to do it. The Triple Death. Quite an honor, sort of.
He yowled in unbearable excruciation.
It changed once more.
Now he was on his feet again. Liver back in place. Lungs empty. Blood pumping. Mind awfully, and for once completely, clear.
He stood in a small round chamber. The walls were of stone, glistening with moisture, crawling with vile forms c=of life, or half-life. On the floor, amid sordid effluents, lay hundreds of coins, old and new, a few beads and lesser-grade gemstones, decomposing scraps of paper on which fade messages had been scrawled, a terra-cotta goddess figurine, a Ken doll, and a small copper pipe connector. Everything was coming into focus.
"I dig it," Tex said, to the Darkness that was now assuming a visible form close, very close, in front of him. "I yelled 'Raven,' right? I meant Molly. But I got you."
Huge: hideous: stinking of carrion: so utterly black that ordinary blackness would have seemed to glow in comparison: the Darkness stood before him. It lifted a leg and clawed at the feathers underneath one vast wing. Unsavory things fell out, hit the ground and scurried off into crevices.
YOU GOT ME
the Darkness concurred.
YOU INVOKED ME, TO BE PRECISE. YOU AWOKE ME. NOW PLEASE DO NOT DETAIN ME HERE UNNECESSARILY. WHAT DO YOU DESIRE OF ME? AND WHAT ARE YOU PREPARED TO OFFER IN RETURN?
On the whole, Tex was mind-blown. In some measure he was also scared shitless, and certainly he was way confused. But you couldn't help getting into this, a little. This was, after all, the Ultimate Trip. This was the of the ages. This was the Underworld. Tex was petty sure about that, at least, if nothing else.
NEVER MIND
said the Darkness.
OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT YOU DESIRE. IT WAS IN YOUR MIND WHEN YOU UTTERED YOUR INVOCATION. YES, OF COURSE, I CAN IF I CHOOSE FULFILL YOUR WISH. EXPLAIN FIRST, HOWEVER, IN WHAT WAY YOU PROPOSE TO SERVE ME. YOU ARE NOT, AFTER ALL, ARE YOU, STANDING BEFORE ME IN A POSITION OF STRENGTH.
No doubt about it, thought Tex. The Darkness raises a very significant point here.
"Woo," he said. "So you mean, you want me to like, promise you my immortal soul for all eternity, or something like that?"
The Darkness appeared to quake. (With rage? or laughter?)
I'M AFRAID THAT SORT OF THING IS NOT MY STYLE. INDEED, IT REFLECTS A RATHER SAVAGE AND VENGEFUL MIND-SET, IF I MAY SPEAK IN SUCH A WAY OF A FELLOW DIVINITY.
"No, hey, I can relate," said Tex. "I should have known you'd be cooler than that. No offense, okay?"
Better shift focus, he thought. Get in the appropriate god's-eye p.o.v. What were the old Pagan guys into? Music, feasting, ecstasy, sacrifice...
"I could throw a really big party for you," he suggested, hopefully.
A PARTY.
"Or I mean, a festival, you know? A whole big holiday. Do it again every year."
The Darkness appeared to contemplate this. It smacked its beak thoughtfully. Its orbicular, slightly bulging black eyes skittered this way and that, as though looking for a small living entity to snack upon.
IT COMES TO ME THAT YOU ARE IN AN EXCEEDINGLY UNFAVORABLE SITUATION TO INSTITUTE ANY NEW HOLIDAYS. YOU WERE SCARCELY AN INFLUENTIAL PERSON, THERE IN THE WORLD OF FLESH AND TIME. IS THAT NOT SO?
Tex felt totally cast-down. Even your ancient, long somnolent deities had not failed to notice this. " 'Fraid so," he admitted. "Raven was the only one who took me seriously, and that was only about a third of the time."
YOU REFER TO YOUR SEXUAL MATE.
"Right. I mean, but it was more than that, though. But sorry. I guess that's what got me into this, isn't it?"
I BELIEVE YOU RATHER FELL INTO THIS YOURSELF, DIDN'T YOU.
"Ha!" You've got to love this Darkness dude, Tex thought. Or is it dudette? Would it be impertinent to ask?
I AM OF FEMININE POLARITY
the Darkness said,
THOUGH I SHARE MANY TRAITS WITH MY SIBLINGS AND COUSINS WHO ARE ALLIED WITH BOTH SEXES—OCCASIONALLY AT THE SAME TIME. WE CORVIDS ARE UNIQUE AMONG DIVINITIES, THAT WAY.
"Far fucking out," said Tex. "I wish you could like, manifest yourself to the Dianic separatists and lay this out far them."
I FIND SUCH SECTARIAN BICKERING OF NO INTEREST WHATEVER. ANOTHER LATTER-DAY PERVERSITY, I SURMISE.
Scratching at the stone floor; flexing Her huge and rather gruesome body as though loosening up for some amazing feat of devilment; lastly cocking Her head sideways to regard Tex with a single onyx eye.
NEXT TIME YOU INVOKE ME, PERHAPS YOU MIGHT SUMMON ONE OF YOUR MORE UP-TO-DATE GOD-FORMS AS WELL. FOR EXAMPLE, THE ONE WHO ENGENDERED THAT CULT OF RITUAL CANNIBALISM—I SHOULD LOVE TO MEET HIM.
Tex thought, Well, at least I've come to the right afterlife. He said, "Next time I invoke you?"
I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF BANTERING. I AM GOING TO GRANT YOUR DESIRE BECAUSE IT WILL ENTERTAIN ME TO OBSERVE THE CONSEQUENCES. I SHALL EXPECT TO BE THANKED IN SOME APPROPRIATE WAY. THE WELL HERE COULD DO WITH A LITTLE REFURBISHING. I HAVE NO WISH TO SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN. HOWEVER, IF YOU CANNOT HELP YOURSELF, AS I EXPECT YOU CANNOT, YOU MAY ADDRESS ME AS NEMAN. IT IS NOT MY REAL NAME, OF COURSE. BUT IT WILL AVOID SUCH PROBLEMS AS YOUR ACCIDENTALLY INVOKING ONE OF MY SISTERS—OR OUR DREADFUL COUSIN FROM UP NORTH.
Even as the Darkness spoke, the small circular room was growing brighter. Light spilled down from above, growing nearer and clearer as the objects close at hand grew faint and dim.
NOW I SHALL MARK YOU
said the Darkness
IN THE CUSTOMARY MANNER.
And with a rapid swipe of the great swart beak, the Darkness snapped at Tex's thigh. The bone broke with an audible pop.
"AAAAGGGHH," Tex roared. But he did not fall to the floor. He found to his surprise and bafflement that he was able to stay on his feet, even to balance his weight on both legs, the broken and the unbroken. His pain was, of course, indescribable. "What did you do that for?" he wailed.
BE HONORED. YOU HAVE BEEN KISSED BY A GODDESS.
"Wow. What a turn-on," uttered Tex through gritted teeth.
NOW GO
the Darkness said.
And you better believe
Tex obeyed
Her.
MOLLY (2')
"Where are you?" repeated Molly. As in, why are you asking me!
The Being stretched and yawned. Ripples of long-dormant power traveled down massive flanks as the muscles beneath stirred and tightened. Overhead, the sun flashed many colors, an unfamiliar spectrum, as if the sky were made of polished jewels. Winds gathered force, shaking the treetops, though the air close at hand remained calm.
THE WORLD I FELL ASLEEP IN WAS VERY DIFFERENT THAN THIS. CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT PLACE THIS IS, AND HOW I HAVE COME TO BE HERE?
Molly's eyes opened wide. She did a thing she often when nervous or uncertain: curled her lower lip upward and gently bit it, rabbitwise, with her two front teeth. In doing this she tasted traces of the makeup she had worn far the performance. She ran quickly in her mind through the various Elements and Seasons and Potencies the Street Bayers had impersonated, trying to find one that approached the awesomeness of This. All she could think was, Maybe we didn't know what we were fucking around with.
"So, ah, where are you from?" she heard herself saying. stupidly.
The great Being might have laughed, or the world around may simply have shaken in some unrelated seismic event.
COME
the mighty, divinely gentle Voice said.
WALK WITH ME.
Before Molly could take a step, the Earth began to move. Trees and rocks and stands of tall grass passed by them. Watercourses spilled, clans of furry creatures scampered out of their way, wide skeins of geese and pairs of milk-white swans flew nobly across the sky. The Being moved at a magisterial pace, giant paws touching the ground, barely resting there, moving on; and wherever the paws had lain, the ground instantly sprouted yellow-green grasses and sunflowers.
Then they stood at the edge of a shining sea. The waves rose and dove in spuming furrows. Sunlight danced in a billion ever-born and ever-dying prisms of salt spray. Molly recognized what ocean this was. Somewhere, in some distant Time, her own houseboat rose and fell on these same waters.
I AM FROM THERE
the Being said, holding out one giant forepaw.
ACROSS THERE. I KEPT COMING WEST AND WEST, MOVING WITH MY PEOPLE. FINALLY I CAME HERE. I THOUGHT NONE OF MY PEOPLE HAD FOLLOWED ME. I MUST HAVE SLEPT FOR A VERY LONG TIME. I COULD FEEL MYSELF BECOMING BURIED IN IT, THAT SLUMBER. SINKING DEEPER AND DEEPER. AT LAST I BELIEVED I WOULD NEVERMORE AWAKEN. BUT NOW...
(Peering at Molly. And smiling now. No shit. The smile of a god, can you dig it?)
NOW I AM HERE BEFORE YOU. AND I SEE THAT THINGS HAVE CHANGED VERY GREATLY. PERHAPS YOU CAN HELP ME UNDERSTAND.
Help a deity understand? Molly couldn't imagine it. Then she thought, Wait a minute. The Goddess is in everyone. I am strong, I am invincible, I am quoted in the last edition of Bartlett's.
"I'll give it a try," she said. "By the way—my name is Molly."
The Being appeared to laugh again. Like, of course It or He or She would already grok all that. Still, sounding not terribly unkind:
YOU MAY CALL ME ARTH VAWR. IT SIGNIFIES 'HEAVENLY BEAR.' AND YOU MAY THINK OF ME AS MALE, THOUGH THAT IS NOT HOW I BEGAN. YOU MAY ADDRESS ME AS YOU WOULD A VERY OLD KING, THOUGH WHAT KINGDOM I ONCE HAD I FEAR HAS LONG VANISHED. HERE, SIT BESIDE ME AMONG THESE ROCKS. THIS WILL DO FOR A KING'S TABLE.
Around them, Molly now noticed, stood a ring of weathered stones. When she looked at them they seemed to become larger, as though they were growing like trees out of the substance of the Earth. She turned around and wound, watching the stones form a sort of protective wall about them. Finally, safe and surrounded, the two of them, mortal and immortal, gathered themselves up before a massive central rock that was broad and nearly flat, like a table. Or an altar.
"Will you eat?" said Arth Vawr, indicating a steaming and savory banquet that materialized on the flat stone.
