Unknown, page 1
The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya (Final Part)
by Nagaru Tanigawa
Illustrations by Noizi Itou
Translated by:
Chapter 7 - Zyzzyva and ultimatemegax
Chapter 8 & 9 - ultimatemegax
Final Chapter - Yumeka
Epilogue - ultimatemegax
Edited by:
ultimatemegax & Kaisos Erranon
A new type of alien, time traveler, or esper? What's up with that?
"Mikuru Folder discovered!"
Looks like I shouldn't take Yasumi's skills lightly.
Haruhi!
The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya (Final Part)
START!
Table of Contents
Chapter 7 pg.8
Chapter 8 pg.45
Chapter 9 pg.70
Final Chapter pg.75
Epilogue pg.109
For the Prologue and Chapters 1-3 of this story please refer to
The Dissociation of Haruhi Suzumiya
For Chapters 4-6 of this story please refer to
The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya (First Part)
Chapter 7
α-10
Thursday was the next day.
The time from morning to evening, usually allocated for routine lectures, crept along painfully slow for the entire day. Thankfully, at the chime signalling the end of homeroom Haruhi and I were finally free.
Seems like the one-on-one lecture with Haruhi was to last only until yesterday. The lecture accompanied by the view of the students – who were assigned to cleaning duties – of an indescribable phenomenon had also stopped. Thus, we rushed out of the classroom in that manner. And just to clarify, I was just forcefully dragged out of the classroom by Haruhi, though I was happy that I no longer needed to attend any after-class lectures by Haruhi-sensei.
Just like how we had always used the same route to get to the Literature Club classroom, the atmosphere of spring in the school was becoming second-nature to me as well. It was mid-April so we had grown used to spring being constantly around us. It was as one expected from a four-season climate: seasons appear faithfully every year without being asked and continue to control every living being on earth since the beginning of time. Wait, isn’t that just showing off?
However one could not go against the flow of time which continued to push us along. Changes which could not be ignored even began knocking on the door of the SOS Brigade, which had been faced with an aggressive force since last spring.
If one were to bring such a phenomenon to the courtroom, it could be presented as evidence without any problem. As such, a person exemplifying that was waiting for us.
The moment we opened the door, someone promptly stood up from the pipe chair. “I’ve been waiting, Senpais!” The one calling out like a young swallow towards its parents returning to their nest was the boisterous female freshman. She was the only one to have cleared the unreasonably difficult entrance trials set by Haruhi Suzumiya for joining the Brigade. With her hair jutting out in all directions as if she just had a failed hair perm and decorated with a smiley-face hairpin on her head was this girl waiting for us with shining, expectant eyes like Christmas lights.
“From today on I am officially a member of the SOS Brigade! It's very nice to meet you all! ”She gave a deep bow.
Yasumi Watahashi. Despite her occasional lisp, she had a voice whose volume would make one think she should consider joining the choir. Her countenance shone brilliantly like Venus during daybreak. Her vigor could rival that of Haruhi. It could be said that she looked like she possessed the energy that would let her run for a very long time.
“Ah, please make yourself at home, all right?” I replied with a sigh.
As if not bothered about my response, she lifted her head swiftly and replied “Okay! I’ve been doing that already! It’s very all right indeed!” Due to the charged particle cannon-like energy in her open and frank gaze, if I continued to look at her face that was overflowing with vitality my eye lens would fill to overcapacity and explode. Because of that, I casually averted my eyes and started looking for something to do in the room.
As usual everyone was assembled there. Asahina-san, already in her maid dress, was boiling water in a kettle. Koizumi was sitting in front of a bizarre board, which was neither that for playing Shogi or Go, and moving one of the circular pieces. At her usual seat was Nagato, who was reading a hardcover book and ignoring everything else in the universe.
Finally, seeming satisfied with no reason, Haruhi sat heavily at her brigade chief’s seat and stated, “Well then.”
Full of pompous grandeur like the meeting at Canossa Castle between Henry IV of the Holy Roman Empire and Pope Gregory VII, she continued with a smug smile. “Everyone should know who she is already but let me introduce this person again. This girl is our new member, selected from rigid and fair tests, Yasumi Watahashi-chan. Everyone remember all our achievements and lessons for the past year as the SOS Brigade and cram it into her brain! Do it strictly, but gently like you are giving candy flavored floss to a kid. Drill her so hard that she can become the foundation stone of the next generation of the SOS Brigade!”
“D-drill her…?” Casting her eyes on Yasumi, Asahina-san surveyed the domain of her jurisdiction, the tea sets, and had the look of Sen Rikyu
1 pondering on how good it would be if a countryside commander taught him the true meaning of the hot water used to boil tea. Since this was not the Tea Ceremony Society, such a refined technique of making coarse tea and fine tea was not exactly necessary. Regardless, the tea made by Asahina-san’s hands was sweet like honeydew compared to the dilute and watery stuff made by Haruhi. Thus, in order to pass down the fine techniques of the Art of Asahina-style Tea to the next generation, she should teach it to the new member of our brigade. Incidentally, Haruhi did not teach anyone her techniques at all. That’s because her tea was just hot water with no identifiable color or taste.
“Okay! I’ll go make and serve tea now! Asahina-senpai, would you please instruct me on the art of making tea? Pretty please? I'd greatly appreciate your lessons.” Seemingly acknowledging Asahina-san as her master on the spot, Yasumi managed to enter straight into Asahina-san’s territory.
Asahina-san was slightly bewildered, but as if sensing that Yasumi’s determination was genuine she replied, “Umm, this is Suzumiya-san’s teacup, and this is Kyon-kun’s. Oh, and also everyone’s favorite temperature is different, so be mindful of that. Tea leaves are in the cupboard over there. I choose them according to the temperature and the humidity of the day. Right now, I’m finding out how these leaves…”
Nodding eagerly at her words, Yasumi’s eyes glittered brilliantly as she followed Asahina-san’s every little movement. She wasn't letting go even for a moment just like the lens of a long-range camera locked onto a target.
“And then I want to wear the maid dress too! Ah, let me try the nurse uniform too! Let me try it, pleeease?!”
I wondered what the source of Yasumi’s vitality was that would rival even a 100,000 horsepower robot. Nuclear fusion? Or was it sunlight? Don’t tell me this underclassman can undergo photosynthesis. To make things worse the first thing taught to this new member was how to make tea. Was she a business secretary?
But there’s probably no point interfering. In reality there was essentially nothing else to be taught in this brigade. I put my bag on the floor, and sat opposite Koizumi.
“How about a game?” Koizumi was gazing at Yasumi with plenty of interest. Abruptly turning his sight away from her, he pushed the board on the table towards me.
“What’s this?”
There were many round pieces on this strange board. With kanji characters like “General”, “Elephant”, “Cannon”, and so on engraved on them, I had no idea how to move these mysterious pieces. It wasn't Othello, Go, or Shogi where Koizumi would lose repeatedly. Could Koizumi have finally brought a game where he stood a chance of winning?
“It’s Chinese chess. It’s called ‘Xiangqi’. Once you remember the rules anyone can play this game. It’s not that difficult at all really. At least this game will usually end faster than Shogi.”
“Once you remember the rules, huh?” This was the problem. Until I remember the rules, wasn’t it obvious that I would just keep suffering the pain of losing? Can’t we just play cards? Oicho-kabu
2 or Koi-Koi preferably, since I have quite a lot of experience with them from playing with my family.
“Card games were somehow excluded in my list of choices. I’ll be sure to bring them eventually. As for Chinese chess, if you could think of it as a zero-sum game similar to Go or Shogi, then that would be good enough to begin. You should be able to absorb the rules right away. If you can look at a surrounded Go game and immediately determine who is winning and losing then you’ll be fine. Since this board game does not involve luck as an important factor, I think you will enjoy it.”
He flashed a relaxed smile. “Well then, let’s start off with a few practices. The first match doesn’t count. First, you would move the 'Soldier' piece this way.”
He began explaining how to play in a pleasant manner. Hey, can you spare some thoughts about Yasumi instead of focusing on your games? She’s a talented girl who managed to pass Haruhi’s super-difficult brigade-entrance test almost without any sweat! Since she's a freshman she would probably become the next chief. Assuming that Haruhi wasn't blind and didn't make a mistake, what do you think Koizumi? Are her eyes made from lapis lazuli
3 ?
Moving his piece, Koizumi smiled. Hey, that’s a bit unnerving. It was a grin as if he had the time of a manager whose centerfield was frequently made to work hard by the leader of the shadows.
With a gesture as if gathering my pieces together, Koizumi leaned in his head, and whispered softly, “I am not worried about anything. Contrary to what you would imagine, I am completely relieved. No matter what happens after this, it should not be something bad. How about adopting the same attitude and relaxing?”
I had no confidence in his words. That was why I felt so rebellious. After all, have any of the new characters who have appeared left without doing anything? Even if that wasn’t the case, Sasaki, Tachibana, Kuyou, and our nameless time-traveler have appeared. All of them gave the impression of being strange, but they seem to not be doing anything. That action in itself was mysterious, because it would bring up the question of why they appeared in the first place. If they were just foreshadowing characters in a novel, wouldn’t that be too careless? They did go somewhere else after simply greeting us the other day.
If that was foreshadowing in a mystery novel, I wouldn’t even read it. I’d just toss the book at the wall the moment the detective started trying to solve the mystery with logic.
“Calm down. The readers should enjoy it with a more light-hearted view in mind. However poor the work is, it would surely come in handy sometime in the future. There’s a saying that the best teachers are those who teach using bad examples from which people can learn.”
That's the first time I've heard that saying.
“Yeah. I thought of it just now. But I don’t think it’s a wrong lesson to impart.”
“…Hegel
4 was a great person.”
At my mutter, Koizumi flashed a smile. “Exactly. Above providing the life of a society, humans are also philosophers who leave the most beneficial advice behind. It’s possible for any human to put that into practice.”
But then, I had no idea how Hegelian dialectic could be related to this game of Chinese chess. Thus, being taught by Koizumi, I learned how each piece moved. It was generally similar to Shogi, but the finer details were quite different. Oh well, I was rather bored with Othello and Shogi, and learning a new board game wasn’t exactly that bad.
While concentrating on Koizumi and the chess game, I also shot quick glances at the other members. Nagato was quietly reading a book. The new member who joined the brigade was after all a potential new member for the literature club. Could she have thought about this? A year ago the atmosphere in this classroom was as unchanging as the endless frozen land of Iceland. The open book on her lap was light brown in color but at the same time it could also be a rare book dug out from an old bookstore. Had her locations of activity begun expanding from solely the city library? I imagined Nagato visiting old, desolate bookstores, moving from one book rack to another slowly and somehow managed to calm down.
My battle with Koizumi on the board had just begun to get exciting when,
“Sorry to keep you waiting!” Along with the bright voice like music from a piccolo, Yasumi barged into my field of vision from the side holding a serving tray with hot drinks.
Behind her Asahina-san in a maid dress looked at us without hiding her excitement. "It’s called redbush tea. There's no caffeine and it’s good for preventing constipation. It’s nutritious as well! Please try it!”
She hadn’t dressed in her maid attire yet. In her slightly rumpled uniform, Yasumi painstakingly placed the teacups, from which hot steam was drifting on the table in front of Koizumi and myself.
The names “Kyon” and “Koizumi-kun” were written respectively on our teacups by Haruhi in bold and vivid strokes. Since these words were written on the ready-made cups by thick magic pens, the tea set did not exude any sense of “Wabi” or “Sabi”
5 . Nevertheless, for someone like me who did not have any knowledge of tea, oh never mind.
Trying as hard as possible not to look into Yasumi’s glittering eyes, I took a sip from the red-colored tea. Koizumi did the same a few seconds later.
“…It has an unusual taste.” Koizumi expressed his opinion with a bittersweet smile. I felt exactly the same way. It did not taste horrible, but upon finer tasting it did not taste delicious either. Instead it had a strange taste which did not suit my tastes. If that was the case then I should be able to drink the green tea and barley tea in one gulp without holding back. But I was more reluctant to honestly voice the report my tongue conveyed from the taste buds.
“Well, how do I put it…It’s not something we’ve tasted before. Um…I know very well that this tea is good for the body. It feels like a good way to keep healthy.”
“Wow!” With an overjoyed shout Yasumi moved light-footedly to Nagato and served tea in her teacup as well.
“……”
On Nagato’s teacup, the name “Yuki” was decided without asking her opinion, and written by Haruhi. She glanced coolly at the cup and,
“……”
As if looking at dried-up sprouts before being watered, she did not respond and returned to reading her book. Because this was always the case we were not the least offended by it, but Yasumi looked at Nagato as if asking how she found the tea. Not receiving even a twitch in response, she leaped back to Asahina.
“Wait, wait, wait.” The owner of the raised voice was the absolute and complete ruler of this region of time and space. “What about my tea?”Haruhi’s dissatisfied face appeared from behind the display screen. “Shouldn’t something like this be served first to the brigade chief? What are you trying to pull by serving me last? Mikuru-chan, you must teach her properly.”
“Ah…Sorry.” Panicking, Asahina-san clasped her hands together hurriedly.
Beside her Yasumi snickered. “I’m sorry. I forgot. I guess I was nervous. I’ll do my very best in making your tea, so please hold on a minute.” She did not seem disturbed in the slightest by Haruhi’s crocodile eyes.
Like a winged fairy Yasumi lightly proceeded to bring the steaming hot tea to the brigade chief’s desk. As usual Haruhi gulped down the tea, which was already near to her, in one go. She rolled her eyes moments later and started gasping with her tongue hanging from her mouth like a dog in the midst of summer.
“Remember carefully. This is quite important. Mikuru-chan, you are the teacher, so you must be strict with Yasumi.”
Since when did Asahina-san become Yasumi’s teacher?
“Oh well, since it’s just tea, it’s all right.”
Haruhi’s mood change was quick. She probably did not even have the time to relish the tea. “Yasumi Watahashi-chan right? Are you good with computers?”
“Just a little bit. But I can do it, yes I can!”
“Oh? Well then,“ The monitor on the brigade’s chief desk, obtained from the Computer Club, showed the SOS Brigade website just like how I had first made it some time ago. It was simply a shabby layout with some lame content, a few rows of words, and topped off with an email address. Naturally in this age of rapidly progressing technology our homepage could only be described as being seriously outdated. It gave the feeling of how wide the technological gap was.
It should be redesigned soon. Haruhi was very determined about it, but eventually that duty was left entirely to me. Thus, not having the slightest desire to do it, I had come up with all sorts of excuses and procrastinated doing it all along.
In reality, ever since the name SOS Brigade appeared on the Internet network it seems no one had benefited from it at all. Last year the incident involving the Computer Club President was a good example. Because of that I had hoped that Haruhi would conveniently forget about this and yet the webpage view count had increased dramatically. Looks like to this day Haruhi still hadn’t abandoned the ambition of becoming widely known on the Internet. Obviously, Haruhi didn't know or realize that Nagato had edited the logo.
“I want this website to be more attractive to the public. Can you do it?” Haruhi pointed at the monitor screen on which she had been working on for some time. “It’s the SOS Brigade’s main website. Kyon made it last year but it looks so empty and useless. Worst of all it’s completely ugly. There are lots of stylish sites filled with plenty of information and yet our website is like this. At this rate the whole World Wide Web will cry.”
