Falling for the Shifter Box Set, page 8
part #1 of Falling for the Shifter Series
The noise jerks me away from my thoughts and I have to blink twice before I can bring my attention back to my boss who is standing in front of me.
His arms cross over his chest and his lips are press together in a thin tight line.
“Nearly finished,” I say, cheerfully. I haven’t. It’ll take me at least another hour. Looks like I’ll be working through my lunch break.
“Make sure to have it on my desk as soon as it’s done.”
“Yes, Mr. Vitt.”
He walks away and I watch how the fabric of his suit is so stiff it barely moves with each step.
I stand up, walk over to the coffee machine in the far corner of the office, and let the black liquid fill the cardboard mug. I’m going to need a few more of these today if I’m going to make it to closing.
~
It’s an hour before I finish work. I check my phone again but Tarben hasn’t called. Not that I expected him to, but I have been thinking about what he’s been doing today and hearing his voice would have been nice.
I glance over at the clock, willing the small hand to move faster so time can speed up and I can go home.
“Miss Jenkins.”
I sit up straight in my chair. “Yes, Mr. Vitt.”
“Can you run the numbers on the Ferguson account again? The balance on my computer isn’t making sense and I need to find out the discrepancy.”
I take a deep breath. I’ve sent him over the numbers twice today. All he has to do is look in the folder on his desktop and open it up and he has everything he needs. “The files are on your computer. I can show you where they are.”
I point on my desktop to the folder icon and click on it with my mouse to open it up.
“I’m not an idiot, Miss Jenkins,” he says. “I know how to open a folder.”
“Of course you do.”
“Come into my office, please.”
Damn. He thinks I’m making fun of him. Maybe I am, I’m too tired to think straight anymore. I’m going to have to tell Tarben that I need my sleep tonight. As much as I enjoy the sex, I need the money from this job.
I stand up and follow my boss into his office waiting for the ear bashing I’m about to receive.
“Miss Jenkins, do you like working here?”
“Yes, of course I do.” That’s mostly the truth. There are worse ways to make a living than sitting in an air-conditioned office and punching numbers into a computer.
“Sit down.” He points to the chair in front of his desk, which means I’m in for a long lecture. I sit down reluctantly.
“I can show you where the files are,” I begin.
“I don’t want to talk about the files.”
Am I being fired? I tip my head to the side and narrow my eyes. “What did you want to talk about?”
“Mary will be leaving on maternity soon.” I already knew that. We both work in the same department and while she isn’t my superior, she acts like it. I’ll be glad of the reprieve. “So, I’ll need someone to fill her place.”
I can’t tell yet whether he’s asking me to move across to her position, or if he’s informing me that he’s hiring someone new. “Did you have someone in mind?”
A smile forms on his thin lips. “As you know, it’s a tough market at the moment. Lots of companies downsizing.”
“We are doing okay.”
“We are. But I wouldn’t want to jeopardize that by creating any unnecessary expenses.”
I can see where he’s going. “You’re not going to hire anyone.” It’s not a question.
He nods slowly. “You’re a smart girl, Jade.”
“And you want me to do both jobs. You want to make her redundant and get me to do more work to cover the loss.” I swallow down the annoyance I can feel bubbling up.
“You know that means working extra hours, perhaps even a weekend or two.”
“And if I say no?”
Mr. Vitt’s mouth opens and I can see a tiny droplet of saliva in the corner. It’s gross. “There would be a pay rise, of course.” He steeples his fingers under his chin. “I wouldn’t expect you to do all the extra work without some compensation.”
He’s not going to let me refuse it. I can’t see a way out of this without losing my job. “We can talk about the details tomorrow,” I say. “I need to go home now.”
He narrows his eyes. “You have someone waiting for you?”
I hesitate. I should deny knowing Tarben, but if being in a relationship means I can make excuses not to be here it could work to my advantage, but I won’t betray him. “Just meeting up with a girlfriend.” He doesn’t have to know that’s a lie.
“Okay. We’ll discuss this tomorrow. Dismissed.”
I stand up and walk out of his office. According to the clock, I still have half an hour to go, but I grab my purse and turn off the computer anyway. I need to think about the amount of extra work I’m going to have to do. Extra work that no amount of money is worth.
All I want to do is get home to Tarben and fall asleep in his arms. He’ll be able to take all the stresses from work away and make me feel whole again.
Chapter 5
Tarben is cooking. He’s not opening a box, adding water and placing it into the microwave, he’s actually cooking. There are cut up vegetables on a board and steam coming from a pot.
I place my purse on the hall table and walk over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and letting my hands glide over the muscles under his t-shirt. Already I feel more relaxed, the tension from work starting to melt away.
“What are you making?” I ask.
He turns around and furrows his brow. “It’s supposed to be Bolognese sauce. I can’t guarantee it though.”
I glance over at the pot and can see the bubbling sauce. “It looks good.”
He narrows his eyes. “Looks aren’t everything.”
I smile and pick up a wooden spoon, dipping it into the sauce and bringing it back to my mouth to taste.
Salt and hot spices combine, overwhelming the tomato and anything else he’s added. Immediately I want to recoil and spit it out, but I don’t. I can’t hurt his feelings when he’s trying so hard. I plaster a smile on my face. “It’s not bad,” I lie. I wonder if I’m going to have to suffer through the meal or if I can distract him somehow. It’s not like I was hungry anyway.
“No.” He shakes his head decisively. “No, it’s awful. I’ll make something else.” He turns the knobs on the stove off with one flick. I’m immediately relieved.
“We can go out, or order in, if you like.”
He ponders this for a moment and then nods. “Stay in.”
I dial the local pizza shop and order one large pie to be delivered. They have good food and are quick and reasonably priced. When that’s done, I flop down onto the couch with an audible sigh.
“Everything okay?” asks Tarben. He walks over and sits beside me.
“Just a bad day at work.” I close my eyes and lean my head back trying to erase the conversation with my boss in my mind.
“You want to talk about it?”
I groan, I really don’t, I just want to forget the whole day and pretend it didn’t happen, but I also need to open up with Tarben so he’ll open up with me. “He wants me to work longer hours for not much more pay. I already do extra hours for nothing. This is going to eat into any spare time I have.”
“You need the extra money?”
I frown, it’s a loaded question and I don’t want to have the money conversation with him right now when I’m not thinking straight, especially after learning that he has some stashed away. “It isn’t about the money. It’s about not being able to spend as much time with you.”
I’m annoyed, although I don’t know why, it’s not like this is Tarben’s fault.
I’m more tired than I thought and I know that makes me irritable. “Maybe I’ll just quit and go live in a cave in the woods like you do. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about any of this.” I wave my hand around the apartment. The apartment that I don’t even really care about.
Tarben’s face falls. I didn’t mean it to sound like it did, I can tell by the look on his face that he’s taken it personally.
“I’m sorry,” I offer quickly. “I’m tired and annoyed at my boss. I’m venting, but it’s not about you.”
He moves away and I can see his jaw clench. “I don’t live there because I have a choice.”
I don’t reply. I’m sure anything I say right now is going to make things worse so I simply nod. I reach out and place my hand over his, but he jerks it away.
“You have a choice, Jade. You can choose to work, where to live. I don’t have that luxury.” I can see the struggle in his face. The cold anger that had disappeared since we got here is starting to return, and it’s all my fault.
I don’t want to fight. The last thing I want is to have another argument especially when I’m too tired to think straight. I move over and place my hand back on his, hoping he doesn’t pull away again. “I know,” I whisper. “I’m sorry.”
He lifts me up and moves me until I’m sitting on his lap facing him, straddling him. He kisses me gently on the tip of my nose.
“Jade.” He pauses and I can see that he’s struggling to compose himself to say the right words. “I know you don’t understand what happened to me. I know you think it’s over and that no-one is looking for me, but I took a big risk coming here into the city. People are still looking for me, but I took that risk because of you.”
“Who is looking for you, Tarben? Why would they be looking for you?”
“You don’t understand.”
Of course I don’t, because he won’t let me in. He’s opened up to me in so many ways but this one piece of his past that haunts him the most is still the locked door behind which I’m not sure I’m ever going to be allowed to see into.
The door buzzer rings and for a moment I don’t move, our eyes locked on each other. When it rings for the second time, I break contact and get off his lap to answer the door.
I pay for the pizza and bring it over to the table. Tarben is already gathering plates from the kitchen. His mood has brightened again and I’m starting to wonder if it’s not real, if he’s acting happy for my benefit when inside he’s still a hot mess of fear and emotion.
If that’s true then this whole time I thought he was happy to be here with me, he was acting. I don’t want to be with someone who has to act happy to be around me. As much as I like him, as much as I’m falling for him, I can’t be the one thing that destroys him if all I’m doing is causing him pain.
“This is good,” he says as he takes a bite of the pizza. “Really good. We should get this every night.”
“Do you want to go back?”
He doesn’t know what I’m talking about. He turns his head to the side and raises an eyebrow in question, his mouth too stuffed with crust to talk.
“Back to the woods,” I say. “Back to your home.”
He narrows his eyes and hurries to finish the food in his mouth. “You want me to go back?”
“I didn’t say that. I asked if you wanted to go back.”
“I want to be with you,” he says. “If you’re here, then I’ll be here.”
He’s not answering my question. “If being with me is causing you problems then maybe you should go back.”
“Jade, what are you talking about?”
I take a deep breath. “You said yourself that it’s not safe here. If that’s true, then I’ll take you back. I’ll call in sick tomorrow and drive you back to your home.”
He lowers the tone of his voice. “Are you breaking up with me?”
“Breaking up with you?” I almost laugh. “No, I’m not breaking up with you. But seeing you struggle like this, without understanding what is hurting you, isn’t what I want. I like you too much to be the one that causes that pain to surface. I don’t want to be that for you.”
“You’re not the source of anything that hurts me. You’re the light that makes the darkness go away. That’s why I’m here. I want to be here.”
Chapter 6
“I’m going for a run,” says Tarben.
I look up at him, startled by the announcement. We’ve cleaned up dinner and my lids are getting heavy. All I want to do is go to bed and sleep until Christmas, not try and think about going out.
“A run? Alone?” I look at the clothes he’s wearing - jeans and a t-shirt. I wonder if he’s joking. “Do you need to borrow my shorts?” I say it to make him laugh.
It works, the corner of his lips turn up in a grin. “You won’t have any that would fit me. Besides, I’m not going to wear jeans.”
“What are you going to wear?” I narrow my eyes suspiciously, he’s serious about this and if that’s the case, I’m hoping that he’s not going to do what I think he’s going to do.
“Nothing. I need to stretch my legs.” He’s glancing over at me, carefully choosing his words.
“Your paws you mean.” I cross my arms over my chest not quite believing what I’m hearing.
“Jade.” His tone is cool. “You don’t understand. I need to do this otherwise I’ll go crazy.” I know he’s not joking now, he’s deadly serious.
I can feel the frustration rise in my throat. I’m getting sick of hearing that I don’t understand, but more, I’m confused why he thinks this is a good idea when it’s not. “No, you can’t. Shift in here if you have to change. Don’t change out there.”
He leans against the wall, lifts his hand, and runs it through his hair. “It’s late. I’ll be careful; no-one will see me.”
I’m numb. I take a deep breath trying to wrap my head around what he wants to do. “This isn’t the woods were no-one ventures out at night. This is the city. There’s always someone around.” My voice is pitching higher.
I can tell this hasn’t changed his mind. “You need to sleep and I need to get all the pent up energy out of my system,” he says. “I won’t be long.”
I shake my head slowly. “An hour ago you were concerned about someone finding you and now you’re going out and actually turning into a bear? You are right that I don’t understand. It makes no sense at all. Please don’t go.” The words rush out of my mouth in a jumbled mess.
Tarben walks over and kisses me on the forehead. He’s calm and determined. I suddenly feel scared for him and grab hold of him. I don’t want to let go. “I’ll be careful,” he says slowly. “I know the route I’m going to take; I mapped it out today while I was exploring the neighborhood.”
“You spent the day working out where you were going to run tonight? Most people new to the city go shoe shopping.” I shake my head in disbelief.
He cups my cheeks and brings my gaze up to his. “I won’t be seen. I’ll be back in an hour or two.” He turns and takes the spare keys I gave him this morning. “Get some sleep, you look exhausted.”
Go to sleep? How am I going to sleep when he’s out there somewhere, running through the city in bear form? “Tarben, don’t do this.”
He brings his fingers to my lips and drags his thumb across them before kissing them. I lean into the kiss hungrily, but he pulls away. “Don’t worry,” he says as he walks out the door.
My heart is pounding against my chest. I can’t believe he left and he thinks it’s a good idea to run in the city as a bear. What is he thinking? I can’t wrap my head around it. It goes against everything he tells me about hiding and staying out of sight.
I move to the window and try to see him but I know it’s pointless. I can’t see anything from this angle.
I contemplate following him. I pick up the keys and stare at them in the palm of my hand. But even if I do go out and try and find him I’ll never be able to catch up to him, he’s too fast as a bear.
I hold onto that thought. He’s fast as a bear. Too fast for anyone to catch him. And maybe if he does stick to back streets and the larger parks, especially the ones with lots of trees, it’s possible he won’t be seen.
I feel helpless because I am. There’s nothing I can do except wait for him to come back. I walk into the bedroom and fall back on the bed, still dressed in my work clothes. I expect that I’ll lay awake worrying until he returns, but I close my eyes anyway. Soon, exhaustion takes over concern and I slip into sleep.
~
I jerk awake when I hear the front door. I glance over at the clock beside my bed. It says four a.m. That means I’ve been asleep for six hours. Does that mean that Tarben has been out for half the night in the city?
“Tarben?” I call tentatively into the darkness.
The hall light comes on and he walks into the bedroom. He’s naked and holding his clothes in one hand. Sweat drips down his chest and his hair is slicked back. “Did I wake you?” he asks.
I nod groggily. “Did you just get back?”
“Yeah.” He throws his clothes into a pile in the corner of the room. “Told you I’d be careful.”
I try and shake away the sleepy fogginess. “Have you been out all night?”
He comes and sits next to me. “Shhh. Go back to sleep. I’m going to have a shower.”
“Okay.” I’m too tired to argue or ask more questions. He’s back and he’s safe, that’s all I care about. I don’t notice when he gets off the bed to go into the bathroom as I’m already falling back asleep.
~
The alarm goes off at seven. I turn it off, roll over, and place my hand on Tarben’s chest. It rises and falls with peaceful breathes. I didn’t feel him get into bed and wonder how long he’s been beside me.
I have so many questions to ask him. Where did he go last night? What did he do yesterday? And the money question is still nagging me too. I need to know what he meant by that. There’s so much I don’t know about him.
I contemplate shaking him awake and asking him but I don’t. He let me sleep when I needed it, so I’ll let him sleep.
I get out of bed, shower, and then make breakfast. He’s still not awake when I go back in and get dressed for work.
Tonight. Tonight I’m going to ask him everything that I want to ask and I’m not going to settle for the half-answers he gives me. I don’t want to be the one that reminds him of his past, but how are we going to move forward if he doesn’t open up to me? I know it’s what I need from him, and if I’m as important to him as he says I am, then he’ll need to trust me.
