Cody and the Rules of Life, page 1
Contents
One: The Cobra
Two: The Rookie
Three: Sproing!
Four: Double Heart Attack
Five: The Sleepover, Part 1
Six: The Sleepover, Part 2
Seven: Disaster
Eight: Rule-Free
Nine: Cobra Quest
Ten: Stinking Cockroaches
Eleven: Scene of the Crime
Twelve: Under Arrest!
Thirteen: The Insectarium
Fourteen: Hand Attack
Fifteen: Snow Globe
Sixteen: A Wish Come True
Seventeen: Citizen’s Arrest
Eighteen: The Plan
Nineteen: The Chase
Twenty: The Other Robber
Twenty-One: Fixing Things
Twenty-Two: Gongggg
In this life, many things are hard to predict:
Hiccups
Balloons
Big brothers
This afternoon, Cody’s big brother was staring at his laptop. His eyes bulged. His jaw flapped. Looking at him, you would never guess Wyatt was a genius. To tell the truth, he looked kind of insane.
“Man!” Wyatt said. “Rear shocks with boost valve technology!”
Cody hoped he was finally going to build a robot. One that would do all the chores, so that when Mom came home from work she could put her feet up and drink her fizzy water in peace. It would be nice if the robot could also write spelling sentences. And pop out a plain pizza, extra cheese, any time you said “Azzip!” which is Pizza! backward.
But when she leaned over her brother’s shoulder, all Cody saw was a bike.
“Sweet!” Wyatt said. “Adjustable compression. Crank set with bash guard and WT-six-sixty-six wheels.”
“You already have a bike,” Cody said.
“That’s a kid bike.” Wyatt wiggled his shoulders as if Cody were an annoying itch, instead of his beloved sister. “I need a vehicle.”
“Your bike has those cool Mario stickers on it.” Cody leaned in closer.
“I rest my case.”
Cody leaned in even closer and, oops, somehow she toppled onto Wyatt, who bumped his water bottle, which tipped onto the keyboard . . .
Fast forward, please.
Outside, Cody paid a visit to her pet ants. Winter was upon them, and the ants were hibernating. Not a single one in sight. Cody gave a sigh. Winter was a hard time for a bug-lover.
When Dad got home, Wyatt showed him the new bike, which was called the Cobra. He pointed out the many special, deluxe features. For a minute, Dad looked like he was falling into a bike trance, too. Then he scratched his head.
“That’s a pile of dough, Wy. You sure you want to spend all your hard-earned money?”
“A robot would be more useful,” Cody added.
Wyatt paid no attention to her.
“I’m sure, Dad,” he said. “Two hundred percent sure.”
“It’s a fine bike,” said Dad. “And you’re a responsible guy. I trust you to exercise your judgment.”
Dad never said he trusted Cody’s judgment. Which who knew what that was, and why it needed exercise.
“Is that a yes?” asked Wyatt.
Wyatt looked at Dad. Dad looked at Wyatt. It was a man-to-man moment.
At last, Dad nodded.
“Yes!” Wyatt punched the air. “This is the best day of my life!”
He and Dad got busy ordering the Cobra. Dad said he’d pay the extra money for quick delivery. They both ignored Cody. She had to check to make sure she had not gone invisible.
At times like this, what Cody needed was Gremlin.
Gremlin used to belong to Wyatt. The day her brother gave Gremlin to her, she thought she was dreaming. Wyatt adored that rubber monster! Cody wasn’t even allowed to breathe on Gremlin. But that day, Wyatt announced he was too old for toys. He handed Gremlin to her and, quick-quick, walked away.
Gremlin looked fierce, but underneath he had a heart of gold. He was an excellent listener, and he agreed with everything Cody said.
“What’s so great about brand-new?” she asked him. “You’re not new, but you’re still the best.”
Gremlin gazed back with eyes of I-totally-agree.
Cody tucked him into his special cave of pillows. Gremlin was brave, but sometimes he got scared of the dark. Cody had to take him out and comfort him.
Now Gremlin waved his claws. This was monster for “I love you, too.”
Cody’s teacher, Mr. Daniels, started every day with his shirt tucked in and his hair combed. By lunchtime, his shirt hung out and a piece of hair at the back of his head stuck straight up like a little flagpole.
It was fascinating.
Pearl, Cody’s best school friend, said Mr. Daniels was a rookie. This was a fun word to say, and meant they were the first class he ever taught.
On his desk, Mr. Daniels kept a small, beautiful gong. When he tapped it with the little hammer, it made a peaceful, hushed sound, like a bell wearing fuzzy slippers. If you stood close enough, you could feel it gong-ing inside you. Cody stood close as often as possible.
Mr. Daniels had rules for everything. Some were just regular rules, like Indoor Voices. But some were what he called Non-Negotiable. That meant No exceptions ever no matter what till the end of time.
Only Mr. Daniels was allowed to gong. That was N-N.
He did it now. Gongggg.
“Journal Time!” he said. “Today’s topic is Something I Am Thankful For.”
Cody heaved a sigh. She liked to read, but not to write. Blah, blah, blah, that’s how Journal Time felt.
At their table, Gopal was listing every computer game ever invented. Madison drew pictures of her many cousins. Pearl just sat there with her eyes closed, tapping her pencil on her chin.
This was strange. Pearl was good at everything. She could make super-complicated origami. She was such a great piano player, she’d win Top Talent if she ever went on. Not to mention, Pearl was pretty as a princess.
You might think that Pearl was a pain in the neck, but you would be wrong. Pearl was a friend to all, and especially to Cody.
“Are you okay?” Cody asked.
“I’m thinking.” Pearl did not open her eyes. “I don’t want to go on automatic pilot. I want to write something deep and meaningful.”
This was a new and interesting idea. Cody decided to try it. She closed her eyes, too.
A conveyor belt appeared. The people and things she loved went slowly by. Suddenly, the conveyor belt stopped. A spotlight beamed down on one thing.
Cody’s eyes flew open. She grabbed her pencil. She wrote:
Cody paused. She tapped her pencil on her chin. Then she added:
That last sentence didn’t sound so thankful. But it was true.
Cody tipped her chair back on two legs. Writing something deep and meaningful was different from writing the same old thing. It was like the difference between eating freeze-dried astronaut ice cream or the real, creamy thing. No comparison.
“Four on the Floor, Cody!” called Mr. Daniels. “Important class rule!”
Cody set her chair down flat. Pearl was busy writing now. She sat up straight, her chair firmly on the floor. Another one of Pearl’s talents was rule-obeying. If she were an animal, she’d be the star puppy in obedience school.
At lunch recess, Cody played with Pearl and Spencer. They raced around being fiery dragons, huffing and puffing steam clouds. Until . . .
“Avast!” Molly Meen pointed her invisible pirate sword at Spencer. “Prepare to be shark bait, lad!”
Pearl stepped in front of Spencer to protect him. She narrowed her eyes.
“Molly Meen, where did you get that scarf? It looks exactly like Sophie’s new one.”
“Aaargh!” growled the Pirate Queen. “The lass gave it to me!”
This was Molly Meen for “I snatched it from her and what are you going to do about it?”
“Shiver me timbers!” yelled Molly as she ran away.
“I don’t like her,” Spencer said.
“I don’t like her behavior,” Pearl said.
In this life, some things are what you call total opposites:
Summer and winter
Marshmallows and spinach
Pearl and Molly Meen
That night, Wyatt came home with a new bike helmet. And a special water bottle called a Hydration System. He also had something called toe clips, which did not sound pleasant, in Cody’s opinion. Who knew riding a bike could get so complicated?
“Want to play hide-and-seek with me and Gremlin?” Cody asked him.
“Look at this clip’s quick-release action,” Wyatt said.
Her brother had started speaking another language. The language of bike.
When Cody got her journal back the next day, it had a note from Mr. Daniels:
“Hooray!” said Pearl. “You got a sticker. Can I read it?”
They traded journals. Pearl’s said:
Aw! That was so nice. And look — Pearl had gotten the same frog sticker.
“We’re twins,” said Pearl.
Before she knew it, Cody was leapfrogging around, making Gopal laugh so hard he tipped his chair back and . . .
Fast forward, please.
“Are you okay?” Mr. Daniels helped Gopal up from the floor.
“Yup,” said Gopal. “My mother says I have a really hard head.”
“Class, there is a reason we have rules like Four on the Floor.” Mr. Danie
He ran a hand over his hair but, sproing! It popped back up.
If you asked Cody, fair and square would be Mr. Daniels sharing his gong.
But in this life, teachers do not usually ask your opinion.
Just before they went home, Pearl handed Cody an origami frog.
“Unfold it,” she said.
Inside, in Pearl’s neat-as-a-pin handwriting, it said:
Cody had always wanted to go on a sleepover. Once, Spencer had stayed overnight, but that didn’t count because it was really babysitting, plus he was homesick the whole time.
“This will be my first official sleepover,” Pearl said.
“Me too!” Cody said. “We’re twins again.”
“My baby brothers are twins,” said Pearl. “I always wished I had a twin of my own!”
Together, they did some careful, no-rule-breaking, twin-frog hopping.
When Cody got home, Wyatt’s bike had been delivered. ASSEMBLY REQUIRED, said the box. He was studying the instructions.
“I’ll help you put it together,” said Cody.
Wyatt glanced around the garage, like by a miracle someone else would appear.
“Okay,” he said. “But don’t touch anything unless I say.”
Cody had never helped build something for real before. Little by little, she and Wyatt fitted those pieces together till, ta-da! The separate parts turned into one whole, complete thing. A sleek, shiny bike that said COBRA on the side.
Wyatt gazed at it the same goofy way he looked at Payton Underwood, the girl of his dreams. If that bike were a girl, Wyatt would ask it to marry him.
“Tell la madre I went for a test ride.” Wyatt snapped his new helmet on. “Tell her I’ll be careful, et cetera, et cetera.”
Zoom! He and the Cobra left Cody in the dust.
She checked the ants. No activity. She squinted at the sky. Gray clouds. Wyatt’s old, abandoned bike leaned in the corner of the garage. Cody gave it a cheer-up pat. When her big brother still didn’t come home, she schlumped inside.
Mom was looking up recipes. It was her day off from her job as Head of Shoes at O’Becker Department Store, but she wore her gold hoop earrings and pretend-alligator boots. Mom never took a day off from being stylish.
“How about turnip-parsnip crumble?” she said.
Cody put her hands around her throat. She fell to the floor and pretended to die from parsnip poisoning.
“Well, how about stewed tomatoes with oatmeal?”
Cooking was not high on Mom’s list of talents. Sitting under the table, Cody watched her cross and uncross her pretend-alligator ankles.
“Pearl invited me to sleep over,” Cody said.
Mom’s head appeared under the table. “That’s nice,” she said with an upside-down smile. “Do you want to go?”
“Do bears poop in the woods?” Wyatt had taught Cody this useful phrase.
“You’ve never had a sleepover,” said Mom. “It might feel a little strange.”
Cody thought this over. “I’ll bring Gremlin,” she said.
“You are so smart. Between you and me, I bet Wyatt couldn’t have put that bike together without you.”
“He didn’t even say thank you.”
“That’s too bad. I’m sure he felt thankful.”
“Ha.” Cody’s eyes suddenly felt hot. It got hard to swallow. “All he cares about is that bike. He loves it better than anything in the whole world.”
Now Mom came to sit under the table, too. She took Cody’s hands in hers.
“That’s impossible. A boy can’t love anything, even the world’s best bike, more than his sister. You know why?”
“Why?”
“Because a bike can’t love him back.”
Cody knew Mom was just trying to cheer her up. When mothers try to cheer kids up, they are not required to stick to the truth.
“Wyatt bought his own bike. You’re having your first sleepover.” Mom touched the tip of Cody’s nose. “Just yesterday you were my tiny babies with dumpling cheeks and sausage legs.”
“Mo-o-o-m!” said Cody, like a kid on TV who was dying of embarrassment.
Except she wasn’t, not really. Secretly, Cody loved when Mom talked like that.
How Wyatt usually was at dinner: a silent eating machine.
How Wyatt was tonight: a world-champion blabbermouth.
“Eat your spaghetti,” said Mom. In the history of Wyatt, nobody had ever had to say that to him before.
He couldn’t stop talking about how the Cobra handled on the icy road. How it practically got up to warp speed. How he rode over to Payton Underwood’s house, and she said she’d never seen such a fabulous bike.
Payton! Wyatt was always trying to impress that silly girl.
“She couldn’t believe I bought it with my own money and assembled it myself,” he said.
“Didn’t you tell P.U. I helped you?” Cody asked.
In this life, some questions are what you’d call a waste of time.
The next morning, Cody was the first one up. She loved the early morning, when the whole day was waiting. Waiting for someone to push the START button.
Tonight was the sleepover. What should she do in the long meantime? Cody decided to check on the Cobra.
Clean Out Garage was always on Dad’s chore list, because the minute he did, it filled right back up. He said the garage was like the geyser Old Faithful. Only instead of steam, the garage geysered up more junk.
The Cobra didn’t look happy. It wasn’t used to living with a dusty treadmill and old paint cans. Plus, Wyatt had locked it up with a heavy-duty lock. Anyone could see that bike was longing for some nice fresh air.
Cobra was the wrong name. If that bike were an animal, it wouldn’t be a snake. It would be a horse. A horse named Midnight.
It belonged to her brother, Cody knew this very well. But if it weren’t for her, it might not exist — even Mom had said so.
Wyatt kept the key hidden under a flowerpot. Cody undid the lock, then rolled Midnight/Cobra out onto the driveway.
If you are thinking this was easy, think again. Midnight/Cobra was much bigger and heavier than Cody’s bike.
Plus, why did boy bikes have those dumb bars in the middle? Even on tiptoe, Cody couldn’t get her leg over. A squirrel watched. “Scritch, scritch,” he scolded, and ran up the tree like he couldn’t stand to watch.
Just as she was about to give up, she made it onto the seat.
Which was very skinny. No sooner did she plop her bungie on it than she began to slip back off. She gripped the handlebars. Her feet pedaled thin air.
Maybe this was not a good idea.
Uh-oh.
The bike was tilting sideways. In slow motion. The driveway was coming closer, closer . . .
Uh-oh, uh-oh!
Crunch!
OW!
She scrambled out from under the bike. Her knees and elbows hurt. Her heart was having a heart attack. What if she’d broken the bike? Using all her strength, she pushed it upright. The handlebars still steered. The wheels still spun.
But just when her heart was getting un-attacked, she noticed something. A teeny bit of paint had chipped off the O in COBRA. Now it looked more like a heart.
Maybe Wyatt wouldn’t notice.
Anyway, the heart looked kind of nice, didn’t it?
Uh-oh, uh-oh.
Quick-quick, Cody put that trouble-making bike back in the garage. Click-click, she re-locked the lock. When she tiptoed inside, everyone was still asleep.
Whew!
Cody pulled Gremlin out of his cave of pillows. Gremlin was indestructible. You could hug him as hard as you wanted and he didn’t mind.
Plus, you could tell him any secret, and he would never blab.
Some days zoom by before you know it. Others last two zillion years. How can this be? In this life, time makes up its own rules.
After lunch, Cody went to see Spencer. He and his parents lived right around the corner with his grandmother. This was so nice.
The not-so-nice part was that the house was a side-by-side. And who should live on the other side but Molly Meen, Pirate Queen. She lived there with her little sister, Maxie. And their father, who killed bugs for a living.
