Beyond the Gray Mountains, page 11
How could things have changed so quickly? Something was going on with Ben. Marianna just wished she knew what. Hopefully he would find his answers in the mountains.
Because if he didn’t, Marianna wasn’t sure if this relationship would survive.
Chapter Fourteen
Saturday, July 1, West Kootenai, Montana
People thought about going into the Bob Marshall Wilderness to relax and connect with nature. Still, there was nothing relaxing about riding a horse over narrow mountain trails with sheer, gray slate cliffs that fell to deep ravines five hundred feet below.
As Ike awoke and the first rays of light stretched over the mountains, he wondered if heading into the wild as a guide was a good idea, especially with his brother and Ben. The Bob Marshall Wilderness was made up of more than 1.5 million acres, and if anyone spent time around outfitters, they’d hear a thing or two about what could go wrong.
He’d gone as a helper for five summers, but this was the first time leading a group, even if it was just two men. Out of all the places he could take them, something inside said that Scapegoat was best. If one wanted a view, the vast stretch of the Chinese Wall was hard to beat. The bare summit stretched as far as the eye could see and never got old. And on the way up, wildflowers clinging to the tundra hillsides would distract from any discomfort.
After dressing and packing the rest of his things, Ike got the horse trailer ready. Abe was already walking toward the horse with the halter behind his back as Ike neared the corral. He now knew that having an older brother like Abe had been a blessing. Abe always rolled up his sleeves and got to work first. He was used to shouldering the responsibility.
As Ike watched, Abe reached Shadow and patted his neck, sliding a friendly hand toward his chest. Then in one smooth, graceful motion, Abe looped the lead rope around Shadow’s neck and guided him to the horse trailer. Ike loaded Shadow in. They had just finished loading Flint, his mule, when Ben arrived carrying his backpack and waist pack with all the things that Annie had insisted he take.
The ride down to Ovando from West Kootenai took four hours, and Ben did a fine job driving the truck with the trailer. He’d learned the skill while driving for the Amish and others over the last four years.
Ben had been quiet during the drive, and Ike guessed he had a lot on his mind. He supposed that Ben getting married in a few months could have that effect.
They’d left so early. The breakfast crowd was going as they grabbed a second breakfast of a cinnamon roll and hot coffee at the Stray Bullet restaurant in Ovando before heading up to the North Fork trail.
Ben followed the signs to the trailhead, and upon their arrival, Ike swung the door open just as the truck came to a stop. Since summer hadn’t had the chance to warm up the mountains and not all the trails were yet cleared of snow, Ike wasn’t surprised that there were no other vehicles in the parking lot.
Ike got out and smiled at Abe as he stretched. “This is it, brother. If God told you we must head into the wilderness, I can’t imagine one finer than this.”
Abe climbed from his center position in the truck seat and gazed up at the peaks, delivering a low whistle.
Ike chuckled. “That impresses you, does it? Just wait until we get started.”
With expert efficiency, Abe didn’t take long to saddle the horse. Then with Ben’s help, Ike loaded their supplies onto the mule. This was it. They were headed into the wilderness for the adventure of a lifetime.
Saturday, July 1, West Kootenai, Montana
Marianna’s mind was still on her conversation with Ben as she approached the Kootenai Kraft and Grocery. Today she worked the lunch and dinner shift and was thankful for something to occupy her mind. She’d asked Annie if there were any extra shifts she could pick up this week. The thought of sitting at home replaying her conversations with Ben over and over held no appeal.
The air was windy today, and looking at the dark clouds on the horizon, Marianna wondered if it would rain. If it did, Annie would insist on giving her a ride home. She was always thoughtful like that. But what about the guys in the wilderness? They were hours south, but what would happen if a storm came upon them while they were out in the elements? Marianna didn’t want to think about that.
Her eyes were fixed on the first step just outside the store when a voice she didn’t recognize called out her name. “Marianna!”
A woman stood there with a camera in hand. She wore a crisp white blouse, capris, and heels. Heels in the West Kootenai? She’s not from around here, that’s for sure.
The woman lifted her camera and snapped a photo. Next to her stood a man with a professional video camera.
“Wha-what are you doing?” Marianna stuttered, taking a step back.
The woman lowered her camera and stepped forward, extending her hand. “I’m so sorry to startle you. I’m an entertainment reporter and just wanted to talk to you for a few minutes.”
Marianna’s brow furrowed in confusion. She reached out her hand and shook the woman’s, not knowing what else to do.
“An entertainment reporter? Are you looking for Ben?” Marianna asked. “And why are you taking my photo?”
“I actually came to talk to you.” She swept her light-brown hair back from her shoulder and offered a dazzling smile. “I thought we could talk about your engagement. I’m Linsey Ledbetter, by the way.” She pulled a business card from her pocket and handed it to Marianna.
Marianna studied the small rectangle of thick paper with fine lettering and gold embossing. Linsey Ledbetter, Entertainment Weekly, Los Angeles. “You’re here to talk to me about our engagement? You came all this way?”
Linsey chuckled. “It’s not every day that a rock star gets married to an Amish girl.”
Marianna touched her hair where her kapp used to sit. “I think you misunderstand.” Her hair was pinned up in a soft bun at the base of her neck.
“Former Amish, of course. And that’s the interesting part.” Linsey waved a hand, motioning the cameraman closer. “I’m curious about this relationship. Ben fell in love with you when you were still Amish, and you decided to leave your faith for him.”
Marianna held up her hand to the cameraman to block his view of her, but she knew it did little good with the way he sidestepped. “I have not left my faith. Things are different than people imagine. Ben and I have something no one can understand…but I don’t need to explain it to you. And please, would you stop filming me?”
Linsey plastered on a smile and motioned to her cameraman. “Yes, of course. You just needed to ask.” Then she pointed toward the video camera. “I got just what I needed. I think People will be interested in this clip, and then maybe other tabloids will follow.”
Then, as she gently set her camera into its case that hung around her neck, the woman’s laughter filled the air. “And you know what, Bryson?” Linsey said to the man with her. “I think ole Ben’s more intelligent than we think. What news isn’t going to pick up the story of a music star marrying an Amish girl? Talk about good promotion.” Linsey grinned at the cameraman. “We better get going if we want to make it back to Kalispell to catch our flight. Do you want to drive, or should I?”
The cameraman tossed her the keys. “It’s your turn to try to dodge the free-range cattle.”
Marianna didn’t know what to think as she watched Linsey pull out of the parking lot. Had that just happened? And what did she mean by people being interested? What people? She could understand some were interested in Ben, but they weren’t married yet.
Marianna walked into the Kraft and Grocery without knowing what else to do. As long as she’d lived in Montana, she’d grown to count on the familiar rhythm of daily life—working and spending time with friends and neighbors. She wasn’t used to strangers, or reporters, showing up just to take a few photos and videos of her. First, Ben acting aloof, and then this. Was this the type of life she was getting into? Could live with?
Just inside the door, Marianna felt weariness and wondered if she was coming down with something. Or perhaps it was her overwhelmed thoughts sapping away every ounce of energy she had.
“Marianna, is everything all right?” Edgar dropped the loaf of bread he’d been scanning at the checkout. “I’ll be right back,” Edgar rumbled to the customer. Then he rushed around the counter to her. Marianna felt her knees softening and leaned into Edgar’s open arms as he approached.
“Annie!” Edgar called. “Something’s wrong. It’s Marianna.”
Edgar led her toward the restaurant area, guiding her to the first open chair. Marianna willingly sat.
Annie hurriedly approached and placed a hand on Marianna’s forehead. “You look pale. Are you all right? A woman came in a few minutes ago looking for you. Did something happen?”
“Something happened, but I don’t know what. Ben is acting strange, and he postponed our wedding. Then that woman. They were recording me…the reporter seemed nice, and they left when I told them I didn’t want to talk.”
Annie breathed out a sigh of relief. “At least they left.” Annie glanced at Edgar, and a knowing look passed between them. “I was afraid of that.”
Marianna looked from one to the other. “Afraid of what?”
“The reporters showing up. Everyone’s interested in this engagement. I can’t imagine…”
Pressing her hands to the table, Marianna stood. “What?”
“Reporters don’t report the news anymore. They make it. The most innocent images or comments can be…changed. I can’t imagine what story they will come up with now.”
Edgar took the chair across from Marianna. “I think you need to tell Ben what happened—”
“I would, but he just left to go into the Bob Marshall for a week.” She shrugged. “Oh, Annie…I thought when I returned from Indiana that I’d have no more questions. I made my choices and had joy in my growing relationship with God and Ben. Still, now everything seems even more confusing than before.”
“I wish I could say I didn’t expect this, but it takes a lot of shifting and compromises to merge two lives into one.”
“Is that why you never got married, Annie?”
Annie opened her mouth as if she was going to say something but then closed it again. “I made wrong choices, that is for certain. Sometimes I wish things would have turned out differently, but if they had, I wouldn’t be where I am or who I am.”
Marianna sat again. “I just wish things were easier.”
“They might not get easier anytime soon, but I will pray that they won’t always be as hard.” Annie winked.
“Thank you, Annie. I can use those prayers.”
“The problem is God never promised quick fixes when it comes to answering our prayers,” Edgar added as he headed back to the front counter.
And even though Marianna didn’t like that answer, she couldn’t disagree. She just hoped that the wall between her and Ben would be broken down—even if it meant doing so brick by brick.
Chapter Fifteen
Saturday, July 1, Scapegoat Wilderness, Montana
There was a lot of time to think as one journeyed up the trail to their first destination. And Ben had a lot to think about. Even though it was the beginning of July, the air was nippy. Snow clung to the tallest peaks and down in the shadowed areas of the valleys that didn’t see direct sunlight.
Ike rode on his horse, Shadow, first to see how he handled being in the mountains again. He also checked ahead for signs of fallen trees or other obstacles blocking the trail. The pack mule, Flint, followed next with her heavy load. Abe followed next, then Ben.
The burden of the wedding to come and the responsibilities of being a husband, and perhaps someday a father, weighed on his heart just like the pack weighed on his back. Yet as the day went on, Ben felt the thoughts turning away from all the worries he hadn’t been able to leave behind. Instead, he took in the beauty—the swaths of trees that extended in every direction. The mountain grasses that swayed in the field. The birds and small critters scampering about.
The wilderness reflected God’s beauty no matter what happened in the valleys below. It reminded Ben of the Creator who knew and saw all—even three guys dotting the long mountain trails.
They crossed a wide river that wasn’t too deep, and on the other side, they worked to set up camp for the night, even though it wasn’t quite dinnertime.
“I’d rather enjoy the beauty and get our socks and boots dried out by the fire,” Ike commented. “It’s no fun to walk in wet boots.”
“Annie said that getting wet means hypothermia,” Ben added as he helped Ike unpack the mule while Abe led Shadow to pasture and set out a picket line.
“Well, she’s right, which is why we’re stopping. The temps will dip up here in the mountains. You might fall asleep in summer but wake up thinking it’s winter. That’s why I’d rather take the time to set up camp right than go a little farther up the trail today.”
“Is there a destination we’re headed to?” Ben asked, untying the manty rope just like Ike had shown him.
“There are lots of places to head to. Each trail takes you someplace beautiful. We’ll just play it by ear and see where we end up. But no, there’s not a Holiday Inn or a chalet that we’re heading for, but that would be nice, wouldn’t it?”
Once Shadow had been tied to the picket line, Abe headed back in their direction.
“Isn’t he going to tie Flint up too?” Ben asked, pointing to Abe.
“Nope, that ole mule ain’t going nowhere. The mules always stay with the horses, whether we have one horse or ten. Flint will follow wherever Shadow leads, so we need to ensure Shadow stays tied up.”
It took them over an hour to set up camp, but it was worth all the work when they were done. Ike and Abe shared a two-person tent, and Ben had a one-person pop-up.
“You know why we set things up thata way?” Abe asked, pointing to Ben’s small tent.
“Because brothers like to cuddle?” Ben said with a chuckle.
“Actually, we know if there are any wild animals out there, they always start with the small appetizers first before they head for the main course.” Ike laughed.
“Gee, thanks. Good to know I’m good for something.” Ben slumped back against a log and watched as Ike and Abe set to work making dinner of the elk steaks they had carried in their cold packs. There were also beans from a can and apple hand pies that Annie had made as a surprise, which Ike had managed to tuck away in his backpack without getting too crushed.
After dinner, with a full belly, a warm fire, and a sky full of stars overhead, Ben sucked in a large breath through his nose. The cold mountain air stung his nostrils, but his soul felt more alive than it had in months. Sitting here, he realized how being on the road had narrowed his perspective. With traveling from place to place singing, it got easy to focus on the crowds, the sales numbers, and plans for which song to record next.
Yet being here, none of those things mattered. Looking at the starry sky reminded Ben that the universe was created by a God who loved him immensely. A God who, like Hannah, knew how much he’d messed up. Yet instead of pointing a finger of blame and shame like Hannah had in that text, God welcomed Ben with open arms. Grace. That was something he’d forgotten about down in the valley. God’s unending, undeserving grace.
Ben started to hum as the fire crackled beside him, and then he felt the song release with his breath into the night.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.
The other two men perked up, and Ben knew they were paying attention to the words.
’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace, my fears relieved;
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed!
Ben continued the song, picturing it exiting his lungs and rising and drifting away with the calm wind into the night. When the song ended, there was only silence. A silence like he’d never known.
Finally, Ike cleared his throat. Ben glanced over and noted the older bachelor wiping the tears on his cheeks with the back of his hand. “And just think, I went to Montana for adventure, and I found—we all found—so much more in the process.”
Abe lowered his head, tracing a circle in the ground with the end of a stick. “Thinking about growing up, our dat was the most diligent Amishman we knew. Yet, to think of all he missed within the pages of the Bible…it’s as if he dug for gold his whole life thinking the digging was the point, not knowing that the treasure was just waiting for him within the pages of God’s Word.”
“Reminds me of a legend one of the outfitters used to tell guests,” Ike began. “Over in the Bitterroot Wilderness, there’s the legend of Arthur Woods.” He paused for effect. “Arthur Woods was a prospector in the 1920s who panned about seventy pounds of gold dust from a remote area south of the Lost Trail in the Bitterroots. On his way down from the mountain, he told his friend Bill Ward, sheriff of nearby Darby, that he would return to stake a claim in spring. Woods then traveled to Butte to spend the winter with his sister. He died soon after, never making it back to his mother lode. For years after, Sheriff Ward and Woods’s sister searched, as have many others, but no one has ever found Woods’s lost bonanza, as it came to be called. Arthur’s grandson continued to search, even up to the 1960s, which is not too long ago when you think of it.”
