Takeo's Chronicles, page 116
“I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages,” Gavin said, “yet it was only just this morning.”
Takeo pushed one of the knight’s hands off.
“Well, up until recently, we used to spend all day together. Then you found a wife, and I found an army. Now we’re both getting screwed.”
Gavin laughed.
“Only you, Takeo, could walk out so unaffected by a brush with death. Well, you and Nicholas, but he’s taken too many blows to the head. Where are you off to?”
“To my tent,” Takeo said with a shrug, “assuming Kuniko has set it up by now. She insisted on doing it so I can save my strength. I didn’t argue.”
“Still stuck to your side, is she? Enamored?”
Takeo rolled his eyes.
“Please, Gavin. Not every relationship needs to involve a dose of lust. She’s like a child.”
“A child with no qualms about eating people.”
Takeo shoved off Gavin’s other hand and gave him a glare, which Gavin couldn’t meet. Instead, the knight looked to the ground, and Takeo took off at a brisk pace. The knight rushed to catch up.
“How many times do you have to mention that?” Takeo demanded.
“Hey, look, I’m sorry,” Gavin said. “I forget that’s a sore spot. It just slipped out. I didn’t come to argue, really.”
“Yes, well, it seems like we do that a lot,” Takeo muttered.
“Oh, let’s be real, it’s all we’ve ever done. Our relationship was never built on happiness, Takeo. It was more necessity, which is why I’m here.”
“Didn’t just come to say hello?” the ronin asked. “Of course not. We don’t do that anymore. I’m not offended, though. I’ll bet it wasn’t even your idea to come tonight, was it? You’re here with Yeira’s blessing.”
Gavin clenched his jaw. Takeo sighed.
I hope he’s happy with her. I really, really do. I could have crushed their relationship from the start, and I could do so now with just one slip of what really happened in the ruined fortress. But no, I keep quiet, and I let Yeira pull him further and further away from me, all so that he can have what I never will: a family, a wife, a child, a life.
Please, Gavin, be happy with that. It’s all I have to give you.
“Alright, so maybe I came to argue a little,” Gavin said, “but it’s not about Yeira. Just because I discuss everything with her doesn’t mean I’m not here of my own accord. Takeo, I have to ask. What’s your plan?”
“My plan? What do you mean? What’s changed?”
Gavin grabbed Takeo by the shoulders, stopping him in his tracks, and swung him off to the side. They weren’t alone by any means as this whole mountainside was covered in soldiers seeking shelter from the rain, but the loud patter and occasional thunder gave a strong illusion of privacy.
Gavin pulled him close.
“Takeo, you can’t be serious. You were almost killed, truly this time. They ambushed you in your tent. Think about that. And you almost died. You, of all people! What if that had been Nicholas, huh? Or Krunk? Or me? Would we have fared half as well? No, Takeo, we would have died, and I don’t think you’ve thought about that.”
Takeo furrowed his brows.
“What are you talking about? Of course I’ve thought about that,” he replied. “I’m trying to solve this problem as fast as I can, Gavin, but these things take time. And since when are you so afraid of death? Didn’t we all agree to this up on that mountain? Didn’t you agree to this when you signed up to fight for Lady Zhenzhen? You joined an army, willingly. You’re being a hypocrite.”
“Yes, Takeo, I agreed to fight a war,” the knight replied through clenched teeth. “I agreed to pull out a sword, stand in a line, and go toe-to-toe with any enemy I can see. I did so on the promise that my daughter would be safe behind several layers of stone. I did not agree to getting stabbed in the back by the very people I’m fighting for. By the angels, Takeo, will you listen to me? Word is those soldiers that attacked you weren’t nameless ninjas. They were Hanu soldiers, recruited from the fields deep in Hanu lands. Don’t you see what that means? You really are being hunted by someone in our own ranks. Not only can they get close to you or me, Takeo, they can get close to anyone you care about. They’ve already found one such person: your brother’s widow.”
Takeo stiffened. Gavin nodded.
“Yeah, it’s been that long since we talked, so I got the full story from Emy. Our enemies are probing for weakness. How long, Takeo, before it’s me with a dagger at my throat? Or Nicholas? Or Krunk, or anyone?”
“Or Pleiades?” Takeo asked. “That’s what this is really about.”
Gavin sighed.
“Yes, it is. And let me head you off. No, me quitting this fight won’t solve it. That woman, what was her name? Mako? She wasn’t in the war at all, yet they found her. People are coming for you, Takeo, and everyone you hold dear. I’m supposed to be giving my daughter a chance out here, not hanging her out like meat on a hook. I’m tired of excuses about picking sides. The knives are free, and my family is in danger. We’re out of time.”
Gavin pulled Takeo closer, clenched his robes, and lifted him off his heels. Takeo let it happen because he saw the hopelessness that dwelled in his friend’s eyes.
“So tell me,” Gavin said, half demanding, half pleading, and pronouncing every word on its own. “What is your plan?”
There was no hostility in the movement, only a pressing, desperate need. It hung in the air thicker than the rain that poured down on them, and at that moment, Takeo hit rock bottom. Not when they’d had to retreat from Qadir, not when he’d almost been killed, not any other time, not until he was forced to look Gavin in the face and admit that he had failed.
“I,” Takeo started, whispering, “I don’t know.”
Gavin pursed his lips and clenched his fists. He pulled Takeo a hair closer, then tossed him back. Takeo stumbled but caught himself from falling.
Gavin sighed.
“That’s what I thought,” the knight said. “You’ve got nothing. By the angels do I hate to admit it, but it’s true. Like in that fort, you’re just gasping for one more breath, but this time is different. You couldn’t walk away then, but you could now. Your back isn’t against the wall. You could save us all just by quitting. Nothing changes if I leave, but you? We could all walk away then. But you won’t, will you?”
“I can’t, Gavin. We must go on,” Takeo replied, his voice now pleading. “For her.”
Gavin nodded and then shook his head.
“Yeah, I figured you’d say that.”
The knight drew in a breath and raised his arms up, interlocking his fingers behind his head. He looked up into the stormy sky, letting the rain fall down on him while he seemed to stand at a crossroads. Takeo stared at his feet.
Takeo knew he was supposed to say something right now. His duty was to provide the answers, as he always had. Every time Gavin, Nicholas, and Krunk had followed him down some dark road, he’d seen them out, and this time was supposed to be no different. That was his promise, the sennin’s prophecy, and plain old-fashioned experience. Takeo was willing to do whatever it took, cut any deal, and make any sacrifice to win. It was why they followed him, unquestioning. Or at least they had, until one thing changed: Some of them found things worth keeping.
Suddenly, the thought of sacrifice didn’t sound so appealing.
“You know I’m trying to solve this as fast as I can, Gavin,” Takeo said, finally grasping words. “I don’t know if you believe me or not, but I care about your family, your daughter. You don’t know what I’ve sacrificed for—nevermind. Listen, Pleiades is a part of you, and that means more to me than anything else. That’s why she’s in Lord Rithisak’s care, isn’t it? For protection? You have to believe I’m doing all I can to protect us. You’re important to me, truly.”
“Takeo, you can’t protect us. You can’t even protect yourself,” Gavin said, voice dripping with regret. “Not here, anyway, in this place, in this army. We swim in a sea of thieves. Damn it all, we messed up. You should have taken Lord Botan’s offer.”
“No, no,” Takeo replied, swiftly this time. “I made the right call then. Something is off about that man. I could feel it.”
Gavin huffed.
“You just mistrust kind people. I’ve heard nothing bad about him, which is more than I can say for you. I think we’re done here tonight, Takeo. I think we’re done for a while.”
A cold knife plunged into Takeo’s heart, or so it felt, as the knight dropped his head and turned away in the darkness. Gavin left at a slow pace, plodding through the mud and into the night, his golden hair fading last. Yet as Takeo watched him go, the worst feeling of all was a deep, silent questioning. Had Gavin betrayed him?
Or had he betrayed Gavin?
What in the world is happening to me? Did I just question Gavin, of all people? What does that even mean? This isn’t me. This isn’t who Okamoto raised. I cannot conquer a world like this. I’m not just indecisive; I’m lost.
Takeo couldn’t stand anymore, or didn’t want to, or the fever was taking him; he wasn’t quite sure. Either way, he fell to his knees, collapsing like the world around him as the dark and cold seeped in.
I can’t trust anyone. Or wait, is it them who can’t trust me? I’m on the right side of things, aren’t I? Why does it feel like everyone is against me? I’ve felt this way before, but it was different then. It made sense when everyone was my enemy, but now? I should have allies. I’m supposed to be proving myself. I’m trying to take down a rakshasa in Emily’s name. How can I be in the wrong? How could Gavin lose faith in me? Does he not understand what I’ve sacrificed to get here? Her, her face, the angels, so many more, too many, and yet it’s not enough. Not even close. It’s not supposed to be like this. It isn’t, I swear. I know this, don’t I?
“Why am I alone?” he whispered.
And why does that bother me?
“How should I know?” a reply came through the rain.
Takeo jerked up and found Nicholas strolling towards him in the dark. In the ronin’s depressed state, he hadn’t noticed the viking approach. In the downpour, Nicholas’ massive silhouette was like a large boulder shedding water in droves off either side of his muscled figure. His wild hair and beard were drenched yet held onto some of their wavy nature. The viking frowned as he looked down on the ronin.
“I saw Gavin stalking off, looking pissed, so I figured you’d be this way,” he said. “You don’t look so good.”
“Aren’t you insightful,” Takeo replied, only just now realizing he was shaking.
“See, and that’s why you’re alone,” Nicholas answered, steadfast as ever. Takeo’s sarcasm rolled off his shoulder like the rain. “Not because you have to be, but because you want to be. Wait, wait. That might be too complex for you. Let’s try again. How about this? You’re a jerk.”
“Well, thank you, Nicholas, but I don’t remember asking you a damned thing. And what do you propose I do, huh? Am I supposed to be nice to everyone?” Takeo replied. His sarcasm gave way to genuine pleading, or perhaps landing somewhere in between. He couldn’t tell.
Nicholas scoffed.
“By Valhalla, Takeo, if you’re asking me, then we’re all screwed. I’m supposed to be following you, remember?”
Takeo hung his head.
“Right. Of course,” the ronin said. “I’m supposed to be helping you achieve a life of legend. You want people to sing stories about you until the end of time. I haven’t been holding up my end of the bargain on that one either, I’m afraid. Seems I’m failing everyone in one way or another. How is that goal going for you, anyway?”
“Actually pretty well. Thanks for asking.” Nicholas smiled, either oblivious or unsympathetic to Takeo’s subtle calls for help. “Can’t be a legend unless you’re well known, and I’m meeting loads of new people daily. Seems with you being that special combination of aloof and destructive, everyone wants to know more about you, and I’m the only one of your group who’s approachable. I’m also ridiculously attractive, as I’m sure you’ve noticed. I’ve entered more than a few social groups with nothing more than a wink. Seems a lot of these samurai have a weakness for strong men.”
Nicholas’ grin grew wicked. Takeo sighed.
“You’re a true free spirit, aren’t you?” Takeo asked.
“Chaos is more natural than order. Laws only exist to keep lesser men down. It’s the viking way, and I thrive in it.”
Nicholas reached down with both hands as if to scoop Takeo up. The samurai batted his arms away, but Nicholas persisted. He pushed through and put a hand to Takeo’s forehead. Either Nicholas’ hand was ice cold, or the ronin was burning up. Takeo didn’t like the odds.
“Why are you out here?” he asked.
“Looking for you, like I said,” the viking replied and pulled his hand back. “That worshipper of yours, Kuniko, she’s gone a little frantic looking for you—seems to think you should have returned sooner—so I agreed to help her before she summoned more recruits.”
“Recruits?”
“Yeah, it’s weird. You remember how I split up that group of followers like you asked? Well, they still meet during their off time, and they all seem to have friends now. That one guy, Ping? He’s got this group of five others who just follow him around, none of whom I remember seeing before.”
Nicholas reached down, dragged Takeo to a stand, and then looped an arm around him. Takeo let him. Together, they returned to the path and made for Takeo’s tent.
“Well, that’s not weird,” Takeo replied, feeling dizzy. “It’s natural for skilled warriors to attract respect.”
“Yes, and in most armies, those who are naturally skilled rise above their peers. Except, as I recall, your group received some special training, didn’t they? You taught Kuniko, and she taught those in that fort, and those in the fort taught some more, and so on and so forth.”
“I’m sensing some unease in your voice. Is there a problem with passing on excellent tactics?”
“No,” Nicholas answered, “but I don’t think that’s the only thing they’re spreading.”
Chapter 14
Takeo did not sleep well.
The fever dragged him into a haze of confusion, fear, and pity, and his exhaustion-induced sleep was frequently interrupted by violent jolts. He went into his tent wet from the rain, but never dried out, thanks to a perpetual sweat that enveloped him in the night. His vision was a blur, reality mixing with muddled dreams in a way that kept him restless. He seemed to recall being cared for by a woman and trying to fight her off as she coddled him, but he must have been too weak because she never left. In the morning, his jaw hurt as if he’d been clenching it all night.
The fever broke before he did, for the most part. Takeo had always been lucky that way, or perhaps just finely adjusted from years spent fighting various illnesses. Open wounds were the most dangerous as they often brought a wave of disease. Takeo had been introduced to such things so often as a child that he thought it a wonder that he had lived. But survive he had, and ever since, his body could bounce back in a way that wasn’t usual amongst those with less violent pasts.
Yet another blessing forced on Takeo from his brother, paid in blood.
To his relief, the rain had stopped, or so it seemed as he looked at the white sheets of his tent glowing with the rays of the early morning sun. He was alone inside, but he heard a sigh from outside and pushed back a flap to peer out.
Kuniko looked back at him.
Only it wasn’t her. It took Takeo a second, but he picked up on one or two slight differences in her demeanor, and once the illusion had flickered, it shattered.
He grimaced and let the tent flap close.
“Takeo, I can explain,” Emy replied through the fabric.
The ronin scoffed and only just realized something: He was naked.
He closed his eyes to stomach his anger.
“Was there no one else?” he asked. “No one else would watch me? Why didn’t you just leave me alone?”
“You demanded as much when Nicholas brought you back,” she answered, “but you were delirious and not making sense. He said to leave you alone, but Kuniko and Krunk insisted that you be watched, which Kuniko was doing until you backhanded her, and then I took over.”
“Where are they now?”
He was short with her, demanding even, and he knew it.
“Father is asleep. Kuniko is reporting on your condition and receiving our orders. Qing has been close by for some time, listening in, but she left early when Nobu called a meeting. Nicholas left after dropping you off, said he would rather follow your demands, even if you were going insane.”
Her voice was raised, slightly annoyed. Takeo could hear the defiance in it. Mostly, though, he heard that Nobu had called a meeting for which he was not in attendance. He swore.
“And why are you disguised as Kuniko?” he asked, deflecting his anger. “Testing your skills again?”
“By the angels, Takeo, I’m not trying to kill you!” Emy snarled.
He couldn’t help it; he snapped back, “Angels? Where did you learn that? Don’t use their name!”
“And why not? Rakshasas didn’t kill them. You did!”
Takeo was stunned to silence, not because Emy had shouted back at him, but because she was right. He’d almost forgotten that day.
There had been no rakshasa in that throneroom. It’d been him who’d entered with murderous intent, dogmatic and void of empathy, alongside a host of like-minded fellows with greed and villainy in their hearts. Only the power of the angels’ gaze, deep and far reaching, had stopped him. It had awakened in him a sense of justice, faint though it was. Or perhaps it wasn’t justice, but only guilt? He couldn’t be sure, only of the fact that he’d watched them die.
He, not a rakshasa, had played a part in the plan to snuff out true good in the world.
The memory drilled into him as he sat there, lips parted and eyes wide, staring off at nothing but white sheets with a yellow glow. A faint shadow on the other side bowed its head.
