Finding Her Forever Family, page 4
“Dammit.” Tom took off after her. “Samantha Jane Farber. Wait!”
She didn’t.
Sam rounded the corner and Tom sped up, arriving in time to see the door to the unisex bathroom slam shut. The lock clicked into place with a loud, echoing snick.
With as much dignity as he could muster, Tom strode over to the door and knocked. “Sam, please come out. This isn’t the way to handle an argument.”
“Stop telling me what to do and how to feel. Mom was right. You aren’t God. You don’t control everything,” Sam yelled through the door. “No wonder she left you.”
Stunned and hurt, Tom leaned back against the opposite wall. This was not going well. They needed to talk about things, needed to apologize and move forward, which Tom fully intended to do once his daughter emerged. If she came out. But the seconds turned into minutes and his hopes dwindled. He wasn’t trying to be God. If anything, he’d done his best not to allow his controlling tendencies free rein. But stealing was a serious offense. He only wanted to talk to Sam, to make her understand where he was coming from, to keep her safe.
He paced. He stretched his tense arms and rolled his tense shoulders. Tension knotted inside him, coiling tighter and tighter as the time ticked by. Never had he felt so totally, overwhelmingly, embarrassingly inept.
“Sam, please,” he tried again, pleading to her through the door.
Nothing.
Tom checked the knob. Still locked. “Please come out. I’m sorry.”
No response.
Out of alternatives, he started back toward the nurses’ station, checking over his shoulder every so many steps to see if Sam emerged. No luck. Tom stopped at the same desk where he’d been documenting in his charts the day before and spoke to the nurse on duty. “Can you call Maintenance, please? I need the door to the bathroom in the rear corridor opened.”
The nurse gave him a flat look then reluctantly picked up her phone to dial. “Sure. ’Cos I don’t have anything better to do than play operator for you, Doc.”
Tom thanked her. He could’ve done without the added snark today, but at this point he’d take whatever help he could get. A few minutes later the nurse informed him Maintenance would be on their way shortly. He headed back toward the bathroom. Usually they were here within fifteen minutes, tops. This wasn’t the first time he’d had to call them for this situation, unfortunately. Hopefully Sam hadn’t bolted again already.
Man, the thought of her running away and roaming the streets of Anchorage made his chest squeeze with fear. Not that Anchorage wasn’t a safe city, but a twelve-year-old girl alone in the world was a recipe for disaster.
Then Tom rounded the corner and found Wendy standing in the hallway, talking to Sam. She was dressed casually today too, in a pink skirt and a black short-sleeved sweater. As he drew closer, he picked up snippets of their conversation.
“The fox was starving,” Sam said. “They were throwing out that old food anyway. Besides, if my dad’s mad enough at me, then maybe he won’t make me go to Fairbanks. I’ll probably just embarrass him in front of his parents anyway. I told you yesterday at lunch I didn’t want to go and now hopefully I won’t have to.”
“Wait a minute,” Tom said, approaching them. “Seriously? That’s what this was all about? To get out of a trip to see your grandparents?”
“It wasn’t stealing if they were going to throw it out anyway.” Sam swiveled to face him, arms still crossed, her expression defiant. “And I told you I don’t want to go to Fairbanks. Leave Wendy alone.”
“The plans are made, and my parents are excited to see you. The fresh air will do you good. You’re going. End of story.” Over the Memorial Day long weekend. Because they both needed a break and Tom needed to figure out a new approach to handling his daughter.
“You just want to get rid of me.” Sam took a step closer to Wendy as though she needed protection from him. “He doesn’t want me. He never wanted me. My mom told me so. Now she’s dead and I’m all alone.”
Tom’s heart sank. How could she think that? He wanted her more than anything else on this earth. He’d worked so hard to prove that to her. He reached for her, wanting to hold her, comfort her. “Sam, please.”
“No!” His daughter flinched away, her breathing rough as she continued to plead her case to Wendy. “He says I have to stay with them, no matter what, for four whole days. He says I can’t come home early, under any circumstances.”
“Because I have to work.”
“That’s all you do is work!” Sam yelled. “He hates me.”
Wendy snorted and shook her head. “Sorry, but the overdramatics are killing it, kid.”
Shocked, Sam stared up at her with wide eyes. “I’m totally serious. He all but said so right before you got here.”
“I never—”
“Wow.” Wendy gave Tom a quick glance, her droll tone adding a much-needed dose of coolness to the heated situation. “And all this time I’ve been telling Sam you couldn’t possibly be as big a jerk as she said.” She snorted. “Guess I stand corrected, even if you did help deliver my niece and nephew.”
Tom stood there, unable to stop staring at Wendy. At first, he’d thought he must have imagined how pretty she was, given his level of exhaustion last night. But now she was oozing natural beauty and intelligence and charm...
He lost track of the conversation for a moment.
“If he makes me go,” Sam said, snapping him right back into reality, “I’ll run away.”
“No, you won’t,” Wendy said, her tone firm with authority, in full nurse mode now.
“Why not?” Sam said. “You told me you thought about doing it, after your mom died.”
Wendy gave his daughter a flat stare, not budging an inch. “I also told you I didn’t do it, because running away is a stupid move. Your problems have a way of finding you eventually.”
Sam grumbled under her breath and turned away.
“Hey, look at me,” Wendy said. “Sam?”
Slowly, his daughter turned back around, and beneath all his daughter’s tough preteen angst Tom saw a vulnerable, sad little girl. Talk about a sucker punch in the feelings.
“Listen, you’re not alone. You’ve got me.” Wendy took a business card out of the pocket of her skirt and scribbled something on the back with a pen before passing it to Sam. “My work number is on the front and my cell number is on the back. Promise you’ll call me anytime, for any reason, okay?”
Wendy’s phone buzzed, and she pulled it out. “Saved by the text message. Ned’s looking for me upstairs.” She walked away, then turned back, her dark gaze flickering over Tom before landing on his daughter once more. “See you around, Sam.”
* * *
Ugh. Wendy let her head fall back against the wall of the elevator as she rode upstairs.
Great. Now she felt even more off-kilter, both from seeing Sam so upset and the electric jolt of her persistent attraction to Tom, still there, stronger than ever.
She’d tried to convince herself that her awareness of him had been due to the adrenaline rush of Aiyana’s delivery. That she’d only imagined his gorgeousness and her strong, physical reactions to him, but nope. Her rational brain was still reeling from seeing him again and a tingling trail of sizzling expectation still sparkled like fireworks inside her core.
Which was so bad, considering her sessions with Sam.
Sam...
For the past few weeks, during her shifts in the ER, Wendy had taken a late lunch, heading down to the cafeteria around three. The place was less crowded, quieter then, and she met with the girl. Afterward, she wrote copious notes to report on Sam’s progress and anything of a troubling nature. At first, the worst thing Wendy had uncovered was her growing infatuation with a cute boy in her class.
But lately, as the bond of trust between them had grown stronger, Sam had started talking about her mother back in Boston and what had happened, slowly letting go of the hurt and pain. There was definitely a lot of baggage the girl and her dad needed to unpack, if their interaction today in the hallway was any indication, but they were making progress.
The elevator dinged, and Wendy stepped off into the busy maternity ward lobby, spotting Ned walking toward her from the direction of the gift shop with yet more stuffed animals under his arms—this time a seal pup and a penguin.
“More animals for the twins?” she said. “They’ve got enough already to start a zoo.”
“Hey, I’m a proud papa. What can I say?” Ned shrugged, looking both exhausted and energized. She was proud of her brother for keeping it together so well, until she glanced down and realized he was wearing two different shoes. Last night had been tough on all of them.
“Those things won’t fit in a bassinet.” She chuckled. “In fact, you’ll be lucky if they fit through the door, bro.”
They walked toward Aiyana’s room, then Ned stopped off to talk to the nurses at the desk. Wendy went on ahead into her sister-in-law’s room, finding the new mother sitting in bed with a twin in each arm, both babies freshly diapered and wrapped tightly in their little burrito blankets.
“Hey.” Wendy waved. “How’s it going this morning?”
Aiyana smiled serenely, like she’d always had two snoozing infants in her arms. Wendy tamped down the pinch of grief in her heart. Her decision not to have children was the right one for her. No sense doubting it now. Besides, she preferred solid certainty to openness and vulnerability any day of the week.
Don’t I?
The sleeping babies startled, and Aiyana quickly nestled them closer to her chest, beckoning Wendy over to the chair beside the bed. The babies fell back asleep, their little breaths even and deep.
Aiyana looked almost as tired as Ned, her pretty face puffy and swollen, tiny blood vessels around her eyes and cheeks bright red. Her expression was joyful, though, and it was contagious, seeping into Wendy, replacing the tension inside her from seeing Tom again.
“They’re so beautiful,” her sister-in-law whispered. “I never imagined it would feel like this, so real and right and true.”
“They are,” Wendy said, admiring her little niece and nephew, feeling a weird knot of yearning inside her. Babies needed constant attention. Babies needed protection and nurturing. All the things her father and brothers had done their best to provide for her. All the things she’d missed so desperately from her own mother. Since Wendy couldn’t guarantee she could provide that to her own children, it was best for her not to have them at all.
No matter how much being here today might make her want kids of her own.
You could get the test results. If they’re negative, you could have babies.
Yeah, no. Better to keep her barriers in place and forget her pipe dreams.
Allowing someone close, allowing a man into her heart, risked too much.
What if she got sick? What if the impossible happened and she got pregnant?
What if she died, abandoning her baby and her husband?
What if...?
Yet as Wendy sat there, watching Aiyana and the twins, she felt a burning pang of melancholy. The most vivid memories she had of her mother were those from when she’d been too tired and sick to move. How could she put her loved ones through that? She couldn’t.
Her life was good the way it was.
It was all good.
It was what she’d wanted. No commitments, no strings. No heartache.
“It’s scary too,” Aiyana said, as if reading Wendy’s mind. “This is only the first day and there isn’t a manual.” She glanced over at the nightstand where there was a teetering pile of books left by well-meaning staffers and friends. “No. That’s not true. There are actually thousands of manuals. What I mean is, the books tell the basics, but there’s no minute-by-minute breakdown. You have to figure it out as you go along, but it’s so worth it.”
Pulse stuttering, Wendy swallowed hard. This wasn’t the conversation she wanted to have today, especially now with so many memories and emotions and everything feeling too overwhelming.
“How are you feeling today?” Wendy changed the subject, her gaze on the twins, with their swollen eyelids and little dots of baby acne all over their faces. Aiyana pulled off her daughter’s pink cotton cap and smoothed the shock of black hair on her head then did the same for her son, revealing a tiny scalp full of dark curls, just like Ned’s. The sweetness of the moment nearly broke Wendy’s heart.
“Want to hold one?” Aiyana leaned forward, wincing as she shifted.
Carefully, Wendy took the boy, supporting his tiny body. He felt so light, just over five pounds. Then he snuggled and sighed against her arm and warmth surged inside her. She kissed his little head, inhaling his good baby smell.
“Names?” Wendy asked again.
“Well, we’re thinking about—” Aiyana turned toward the door. “Is that you, paipiirak?”
As if on cue, the giant stuffed head of a penguin peeked into the room. Ned followed.
Wendy grinned at the tiny baby in her arms. “That crazy guy’s your dad. He has the worst taste in toys. You’ll have to deal with it. Sorry, little bud. The deck is stacked against you. Good thing you have your aunt Wendy to keep you normal.”
The adults in the room snorted in unison.
Then there was a quiet knock on the door and there stood Tom Farber, sans Sam. Wendy leaned slightly to see if his daughter would follow but she didn’t. Had she run away again? No. Tom would’ve looked a lot more panicked if that were the case. Instead, he just looked decidedly too handsome for his own good. The way that navy blue polo shirt and those faded jeans fit his body should be illegal. Wendy looked away before things got weird.
Her brother, of course, managed to take it right over the cliff into mortifying territory. “Yeah, right, sis. You wouldn’t know normal if it bit you in the butt. Kids, your aunt here dangled off a cliff at O’Malley’s Peak just to win a dare. Sorry, but that’s not normal, Wen. It’s—”
“Shh.” Aiyana narrowed her gaze on their new guest. “Hi, there... I’m sorry. I forgot your name.”
“Tom. Dr. Tom Farber. I was the OB on call last night. Hope I’m not interrupting.” He shook Aiyana’s hand then looked at Wendy. “You dangle off cliffs a lot?”
“No.” Wendy shot visual daggers at her brother. “Well, I mean, yes. Sometimes. I volunteer with the local Anchorage rescue team once a month, but it’s not nearly as interesting as it sounds. And the bet was Jake Ryder’s idea, if you really want to know.”
Tom managed to keep his expression impassive, but she didn’t miss the amused glint in his blue eyes. “Right.”
“Where’s Sam?” Wendy asked, ignoring the possibilities shimmering in the air between them.
“The nanny took her back to my apartment since she’s suspended from school for the rest of the day.” At Aiyana and Ned’s curious looks, he clarified, “Samantha’s my twelve-year-old daughter. It’s a long story.” A slight blush stained his tanned, chiseled cheekbones. He pointed toward the remaining twin in Aiyana’s arms. “May I?”
Her sister-in-law looked as flustered as Wendy felt under Tom’s dazzling grin. “Sure.”
Tom carefully lifted the snoozing baby girl into his arms, looking downright dapper today, all clean shaven and hair styled. For a guy whose interactions with his own daughter had been rocky at best, he seemed completely comfortable with the twins. She felt sorry for him, and for Sam, that they hadn’t yet found that easy sort of relationship. She didn’t imagine the current tense scenario was good for either of them.
Sam’s impassioned words popped back into her head.
She’s dead and I’m all alone...
Her gaze drifted down to the sleeping infant in her arms. The tiny, helpless baby whose entire existence currently rested on Wendy. Emotional paralysis set in with alarming swiftness, making her muscles freeze. That sickening dizziness from the night before raced back. Her hands shook, her mouth dried.
“Wendy?” Tom asked, watching her closely. His voice was quiet and soothing, cutting through her gathering panic, the same as it had the previous evening. “You look a bit pale. Everything okay?”
Thankfully, her years of nurse’s training and instinct kicked in. Wendy handed her nephew back to Aiyana, then stood on shaky legs. “Uh, excuse me a sec. Be right back.”
She made her way out of the room, deeply humiliated and embarrassed. Once she was alone in the hallway, the violent tremors started. She tried to walk them off, searching for a water fountain. Finally locating it, she moved robotically, her body stiff with purpose and old grief.
As she drank greedily, her thoughts swirled. Resignation stabbed through her, wounds buried so deep she had no desire to dig everything up again. Yet here she was, her old childhood tragedies and new fears for the future smacking up against what was supposed to be a joyful day for her family.
“Wendy?” Tom’s deep voice behind her felt like an embrace, though he stood far enough away to give her some privacy. She felt a wild urge to throw her arms around him, have him comfort the confusion out of her. Once again, she felt the unaccountable urge to talk to him, to confide in him what was going on inside her. Tell him about the dreaded disease that ran in her family, lurking like a phantom over every facet of her personal life. Then again, he’d seen Aiyana’s chart the night before, so he probably knew already. Maybe that’s why he’d been frowning...
She swallowed hard against the lump constricting her throat. She barely knew the guy, and the fact he was a good doctor and a struggling father didn’t mean she could trust him with her deepest fears and secrets. She took an extra gulp of water to help force down her feelings.
“Wendy?” Tom said again, and she closed her eyes.
Damn. He wasn’t going to let this go.
Finally, she pivoted to face him. “I’m fine... I don’t even know what that was.”
