Love as a Christmas Present, page 1
Love as a Christmas Present
Topaz Hauyn
The golden circular pendulum swung at its chain in the same rhythm it always had. From left to right and from right to left. Back and forth. Never touching the walls made of black stone on the sides. Having always a fuzzy golden reflection that pulled all attention on the pendulum. The front was closed against dust and time with a transparent material. One whose name got lost in the past, like the creators of the whole machine. Only the shadows hovering around the black stone, never really coming into sight, never materializing, watched it swing back and forth. They waited for the slight moments where the golden surface of the circular end changed its surface from smooth and solid to rough and soft. One moment, they could see through to another world and another reality. Sometimes one of them got pulled through the transparent material into the image of the other world.
The shadows whispered all the time. Words nobody could understand. Feelings and wishes.
They couldn't remember why they were at this place or how they came to it. Nor did they have something, anything to do. Except, watching the pendulum and waiting for another chance to leave the place. Getting a chance to discover something new, colorful and, maybe better.
The shadows longed for those images that filled their fantasies with ideas that dulled shortly after they vanished and the pendulum returned to the smooth golden surface they usually stared at.
Forgetting everything was common.
Yet, Eliné refused to forget.
Eliné remembered her name. Remembered having once walked over green grass and that it had smelled like the cool rain falling upon it and soaking her dress. Changing it from soft and lightweight to a heavy, clingy mess that pulled her down and down and down, until the only thing she could remember was her name and the walk through the cold drops of water raining down on her.
She hovered near the pendulum ever since. Knowing the other shadows around her and at the same time not remembering anything they ever communicated with her. To what end? She needed to remember her name and cling to the spark of hope to be the next getting a chance to leave this place.
Eliné listened into the silence. Looked into the emptiness except for the black rectangular cubicle with the golden pendulum. Watching the reflection appear at the black rock sides as it swung from left to right and from right to left.
Sometimes it was different. Sometimes new shadows appeared among them. The pendulum didn't change in those instances. It simply continued swinging, but nonetheless, a new shadow was there. She knew it without looking. There was a sense of addition to the shadows around her. A slight feeling of less space.
In those moments, when new shadows got added to them, she remembered the coldness of the water drops more clearly, could feel them splash on her head, accumulating until her hair was wet enough, so the water ran down between her braids. Cold and chilly. Then, onward over her neck and into her dress. Her shoes sinking into the wet meadow and the dirt clinging to it, making each step forward a bit heavier, more exhausting.
As soon as the pendulum swung a few more times, the feelings, the memory, faded.
Eliné clung to her name and to the rain and the green meadow.
She had tried to touch the transparent surface. Nothing had changed. She hadn't been able to reach through. She had pressed her shadowy self against the stone sides. She felt nothing but a border she couldn't pass. She couldn't even press herself tight enough against the sides to feel pain or pressure.
The shadows she had experienced leaving had been here longer than her. They had lost all their memories in her opinion.
How long, until she could leave this place?
So far she had always been someplace in the crowd of shadows. Watching, observing, waiting. But waiting for what? The shadows who got to leave had been standing in the front.
Eliné weaved through the other shadows. She could hover straight through them. She had done so before, and found out, each time she did, she lost a piece of her precious memories. Each time another did it with her, she lost one too. Pieces she didn't get back, when a new shadow appeared.
Pieces she desperately needed, to remember who she was, besides Eliné.
Finally, she hovered right in front of the transparent border, shielding the pendulum from the shadows.
When would be the next time, it changed from solid to soft, from golden to a picture of the world she wanted to return to?
The shadows around her were closer than in the distance, where she had been for however long.
She remembered counting the swings of the pendulum in the beginning. She lost track of it after a thousand swings or so, when other shadows hovered through her. Now she started counting again. She wished the other shadows away. Despite her wish, they were tighter together around her.
One hovered through her.
Her name was Eliné. She had been walking and it had been wet. There was more to her memory she wanted to remember. She knew. But what?
Another hovered through her and some more against her.
What was it she wanted to remember? There was no memory worth remembering here. Everything got lost. Nothing lasted.
Except her name. Which was El.
The surface of the golden circle moved like the surface of water after a stone fell in. Through the waves she saw a man with black hair and a bright smile on his lips and in his eyes. He looked straight into her eyes.
The shadows around her touched her, ripped at her last memories. She wanted to keep them, tried to get forward, away from them.
The transparent surface gave way. Something pulled at her, pulling her to the man in the pendulum.
Shouldn't there be a landscape? Something green and blue?
Was this the pull to go back into her world? Or did she finally forget the last of her memories?
What was a memory?
The sun burned hot onto Robertos shoulders. The thick jacket over his shirt was too hot for the summery weather. Somehow the weather hadn't realized it was December and it should be cold and snoy. He didn't think it would become this warm today, after winter had officially begun. There should be snow on the ground. Snowflakes falling from the sky and clouds all around. Instead, the sky was as blues as during the hottest days of summer and the temperature was equally high. Despite that fact, the weather forecast had said it would snow in the evening.
Roberto didn't believe it yet, but it didn't matter. He could take off his jacket, but then he didn't have his hands free. Thus, he would continue to sweat and walk on, pushing the cart with the presents for Christmas to the little house in the forest clearing, where he and his brothers usually celebrated Christmas.
His younger brothers and sisters were entertaining their parents today, and he had gotten the task to prepare the Christmas house.
He kept walking over the beaten path and sighted when he reached the forest border. Walking among the pines and even among the naked trees which already lost all their leaves, would be more comfortable. They would at least provide a bit of shadow and cool the air around him.
Roberto put down the pushing cart and stretched before entering the forest. The fields behind him were empty. Ready for ice and snow to come and cover them. Let the soil rest until warm spring sun rays thawed it again.
A few people were walking the beaten paths, all wearing t-shirts and shorts, like the weather requested. He was the only exception, but he planned to stay overnight in the forest. The way to the house would be two more hours by foot. They owned the forest and had turned it into a natural reserve. As a result, constructing a road for a car wasn't allowed anymore.
A good thing, in his general opinion. Just not today, while he was sweating.
He put down the backpack from his back, clicked the clasp open and pulled out his water bottle. The metal was cool against his hot palms, and he held it against his forehead for a minute to cool it as well.
Refreshing.
Roberto smiled.
He opened the bottle and drank a few gulps of wonderful cool water, refreshing his dry mouth and running over his tongue like expensive wine would on other occasions.
Refreshed after the pause and the fresh water, he repacked the bottle, shouldered the backpack and picked up the pushing cart again. Time to move on.
Roberto whistled a song for himself and the birds who had stayed, instead of traveling south for winter. His shoes bounced on the soft ground of the beaten path. The dry, brown leaves crackled and rustled under his steps, often breaking into pieces. Rain was needed in the forest like it was needed on the fields. Either in water form or as snowflakes.
He walked alone among the pines, who shed shadows on the path and really cooled down the temperatures a bit. He inhaled the resinous scent of the pines. At the first crossroad he walked to the right. The trees changed from dark green to naked brown. In a few months they would all have fresh light green little leaves and white and pink flowers all over them, but now, they were dark brown and naked.
The sunlight fell straight down on him again and the temperature rose.
Roberto pushed the cart forward with more force. He wanted to reach the next group of pines a bit faster, to enjoy the more shadowy path. Luckily the presents were covered by a brown blanket which was bound to the cart.
He didn't have to fear to lose something on the way, and he could easily see the path ahead without craning his neck to the side. He could remember walking this path when it snowed all the time and the mountain of presents had hid
Roberto walked, still whistling, forward and around a bent.
Where he stopped and gaped.
On the path, stretched out, like she was sleeping, laid a woman on her side with her hands folded under her chin. Her black hair curled around her shoulders and her side, falling over her breasts.
Her chest slowly moved under the thin, white cloth that covered her.
She was alive and breathing.
And she was wearing something that looked very similar to the nightgowns of his younger sisters. White, short, thin and obviously the wrong thing to wear in the forest. Warm weather or not.
»Uh. Hello, lady? Are you alright?«, asked Roberto.
He checked that the ground wasn't downhill here, so the cart wouldn't roll over her. Then, he let go of it and stepped around it. Maybe the woman needed help, when she slept right on a public beaten path.
The forest belonged to his family, but thanks to the trespass right, the paths in it were public. Everyone was allowed to wander through as long as they stayed on the paths.
He keeled down next to her and shook her a bit.
She didn't react, but her body rolled on its back from the pushing.
What to do with her? He couldn't really let her lay there until she hopefully woke up or came to her senses and wandered off.
Roberto pulled down his backpack for the second time. He rustled through the sandwiches and spare clothes he had packed for today, until he found the second water bottle, which was still untouched.
He opened the lid and dripped some of it on his spare shirt. Then cooled the woman's face, he liked looking at her more by the minute. Maybe she was as alone as he was?
He pushed the thought away. This woman needed help, not a flirt.
He damped his shirt another time and refreshed her temples and the sides of her neck.
A low sight escaped her lips.
»Waking up?«, asked Roberto.
He sat back to give her space and observed her face. Her eyelids fluttered, then she stared up into the sky. She blinked a few times.
»Fine. You're awake now. I'm Roberto«, said Roberto and leaned slightly forward. »Want something to drink?«
He held out the bottle near her, so she could grab it.
She didn't. Instead, she looked at him, like she didn't understand him.
Well. He wanted to get going.
He but the bottle away, weaved his free arm under her shoulders, pulled her up into a sitting position, half leaning against his chest. Then picket up the bottle again and put it to her lips. He tipped it until a bit of water flowed into her mouth.
She gulped and he smiled.
After a bit more water she straightened and sat for herself. Still on the ground among the fall leaves, but on her own.
»Can I call anyone for you?«, asked Roberto. He had his smartphone and he should be able to call help. »What's your name?«
She didn't answer. She looked completely lost, like everything around here was a puzzle smashed into pieces, and she was trying to sort through the mess.
»If you like, you can come with me to my house, get some sleep, and then we will see how I can help you best«, suggested Roberto.
He unstrapped the blanket on the pushing cart, moved some presents around and made a small room for her to sit in. When she still didn't say a word, he picked her up.
She was so light in his arms.
He carefully put her down on the pushing cart and wrapped the blanked back over her feet.
»Hold tight to the handrail, it will be bumpy«, said Roberto.
This woman was strange. She didn't say a word, slept on the forest floor in the bright sun and let him pick her up without protest. What might have happened to her? As far as he could see, she wasn't injured. At least not physically.
He holstered his backpack again and resumed pushing the cart forward. He had lost some time, and it would be late when he reached the house, but he didn't regret it.
Her hair had felt so soft against his chest, and she had been so light, he couldn't believe it. He felt drawn towards her. A fascination he couldn't explain to himself for usually he preferred talk-active women who took the initiative.
Roberto tried to push the cart as smooth as possible, but it bumped over the roots hidden under the fall leaves nonetheless.
Cold.
Something was cold in her face. Something else was hard against her back.
She blinked.
Seeing something blue.
Blue. How did she know that color?
Naked branches stuck out into her field of view.
Her name.
She remembered her name. El. It felt too short. Hadn't it been longer?
She would go with El until she remembered more of it.
A handsome young man talked to her. He offered her something.
What should she say?
Did she know him?
Before she could figure it out, he carefully sat her up, and poured something liquid into her mouth. Warm but refreshing.
El felt some strength return to her body. It was warm around. Warm and secure. At least until he let go of her and stood up. With him stepping away, safety seemed to leave her.
Which was weird, because she didn't belong to him. Right?
She watched him move things around on a cart that stood next to her. Lots of square and rectangular packages glittered on the cart. There were ribbons hanging down from some. All around them were trees and sun. Was he some kind of a delivery man?
He picked her up, before she came to a conclusion and placed her into the cart, covering her feet, which were barely covered by the short dress she wore.
Somehow her memory was foggy. She did understand his words and saw the kindness in his eyes, together with his worry. But she couldn't find the words to answer him. Thus, when he said she should cling to the handrail of the cart she did.
He pushed her forward through the forest. Talking about who he was, about some family members she had no memory off and about a party called Christmas, whatever that would be. She didn't know and honestly didn't care at the moment, for she got pushed around in the cart. It rocked back and forth. No matter how tight she clung to the round wooden rail, she was shaken around. If her feet hadn't felt so weak, she would have asked him to let her walk.
She opened her mouth to ask a question and closed it again. What should she ask? She remembered green grass and something wet on her face. But that might have been him, with the wet cloth he had put aside before he picked her up. But all around her, she saw no grass, only brown forest ground littered with brown leaves and dead, brown branches.
»We make a break. You can relax«, said Roberto from behind her.
El smiled. She had remembered his name.
»You've a great smile«, said Roberto and smiled at her as well.
By now he stood in front of the cart, and pulled something from his back. Maybe a bag or something in that direction. He bent down and rustled around. Then, he offered her the thing with the liquid again.
She managed to grab it, and hold it. It was soft under her fingers. An unusual feeling compared to, to what?
»Drink. It'll help«, said Roberto.
El held the open end against her lips and tipped it, like he had done before. She drank the liquid, then handed the thing back.
»You're surely hungry. The sandwich is great. My sister Binky made it«, said Roberto, as if this was some kind of quality signal.
She took the long, light-brown thing with the red and green in the middle.
It was softer than the thing before. But what should she do with it? There was no open end.
There was a different scent to it than that of the forest around her. Something dry and something wet and somehow inviting.
El looked up at Roberto. He had a similar light-brown thing that was more long than wide in his hand and took a bite from it.
She tried it as well. Opening her mouth biting a piece from it. Bits and pieces fell into her mouth, some to the side. The light-brown soft thing was easy to bite through, the red and green were a bit tougher. But not much. They tasted juicy and wet like the liquid.
Roberto was a kind man. Somehow she had the feeling, that she hadn't known him before. The men she had known wouldn't have pushed her around in a cart or shared their food with her. They would have expected her to share and push.
