The Trouble With Love, page 9
Wally blinked, surprise swirling in the midst of his blue-green eyes. His lips curved into a slow smile. “Good. We’ll have fun.”
I perused the menu and did a happy dance in my seat. There were burgers, shakes, and every other American offering you could think of. Nothing made me happier than a milkshake, and they just happened to have a Creamsicle one. I could die happy tonight.
“What are you getting?” I looked up at Wally and froze.
He was watching me with something akin to desire in his gaze.
Or were my eyes playing tricks on me? I swallowed. “Wally?”
He blinked. “I’m thinking the mushroom burger.”
I scrunched my nose up. “Fungus? Gross.”
“At least it’s not onions.”
My lips twitched. He was flirting, and I found it adorable. “Fungus, onions, they’re all the same. Neither of them belongs anywhere near my mouth.” Take that.
“Have you ever tried them?”
“Sure.” I placed the menu on the table. “Octavia tried to school me on the merits of mushrooms. I gagged, and she hasn’t brought the subject back up.”
His eyes twinkled with amusement. “And onions?”
“You and your sister are practically twins. She loves them but knows better than to let them anywhere near my plate.”
A server magically appeared, interrupting our discussion to take our orders. I thought it was amazing that he treated us like ordinary people. How did a person work here and not tell the world this place existed? I turned to Wally and asked him.
“Tips.”
“Oh, well that makes plenty of sense. I’d happily tip, knowing no one would know my whereabouts.”
“Exactly. And you’re not the only one who’d be happy with the service. Just imagine how many tips they rake in each night.”
My head wobbled back and forth in an a-ha motion.
“Enough about The Spot’s employees. Let’s talk about all things Holiday Brown.”
“You want to talk about me, huh?”
“Most definitely.” The low pitch of his voice gave me chills.
I leaned forward. “Are you flirting with me?”
“If you have to ask, then apparently not very well.”
Whew. Was it warm in here? “Why would you want to?” I couldn’t recall ever being nice to him. Well, yes, I could. The first time I met him and my teenage heart leapt in my chest at a cute boy. My crush had lasted for two years until he informed me of my fiery destination. After that, I really couldn’t recall too many interactions when I had been warm or friendly.
Wally studied me, probably wondering if I really wanted to know the truth. Which I did, but at the same time, my stomach was in knots wondering what he would say.
Instead, Wally held his hand out, palm up. Curious, I placed my hand in his. Goosebumps pebbled my arms as warmth heated me through.
“This is why.”
I swallowed. “What?” I whispered softly.
“Those chills you have? That desire to get closer? That’s what first attracted me.” He gently squeezed my hand, then let go.
I stared down at my limb, searching for the words…or rather, searching how I felt. He was attracted to me? So what? I’d been attracted to guys before. It wasn’t an anomaly.
But you never felt this level of attraction either. My eyes closed. I hated that it was true. Of all the men to make my pulse race, why did it have to be Waldorf Emmett Bell?
“Do you think we have anything in common?” I asked, opening my eyes and facing him.
“I’d like to find out. And if we don’t, it doesn’t mean that a relationship wouldn’t make sense. Opposites do attract.”
Boy did I know that. I just hated admitting it. “Haven’t you ever been attracted to a person and not followed through?” I flushed. “I mean, not acted on it. Just kept on walking your merry way.”
“What do you think I’ve been doing for the past decade?”
“Are you saying you’ve been attracted to me since we were teens?” Anger unfurled in my middle. Who would tell a crush they were destined for the underworld?
“About since you graduated high school.”
“Oh.” I uncurled my fists. “And now?”
“I’m hoping your snark is really a sign you like me too.”
“Sounds so childish when you say it like that.”
“I’m not accusing you of being childish. But I do know you don’t date, and after hanging around your dad, I have an idea as to why.”
My back stiffened. He was right. I couldn’t explore anything. I opened my mouth to say as much, and he placed a finger over my lips. Everything within me lit on fire while I outwardly froze.
“We’re just going to hang out tonight and have fun. No strings. No expectations. Just two friends having fun. ’Kay?”
I nodded, hoping it would dislodge his digit. As if sensing my discomfort—rather, my hormonal overload—he removed his finger.
“Let’s eat. Then karaoke.”
“And let’s not forget the fun.”
“Atta girl.”
While I drank the last sips of my milkshake, the DJ roused the crowd and introduced karaoke night. I must admit, I was intrigued. Would these celebrities let their hair loose and have fun? I almost fell out my seat when a known Oscar winner got up on stage and butchered Bon Jovi’s Livin’ on a Prayer. But I couldn’t stop laughing at the fist pumps and head shaking.
After a few more celebrities sang, Wally motioned for us to get up. “You ready?”
“Sure. What will we sing?” I asked as we walked toward the stage.
“Has to be duet worthy.”
“Of course.”
“Faith Hill and Tim McGraw?”
Uh, no. No way I wanted to sing about love. “Maybe something older?”
“I got it.” He snapped his fingers. “Be right back.” He jogged up to the DJ and the man nodded as Wally whispered to him. Then he looked back and motioned me to go forward.
“What did you pick?” My breath felt suspended, as if I couldn’t take a full inhale until I knew.
“Summer Nights.”
I blinked. Huh. Grease was a great movie and had many great songs, but “Summer Nights?”
“Is that okay?” His voice filled with uncertainty, and the hint of vulnerability did me in.
“Okay.”
“Great.” His grin came out in full force, and he helped me onto the stage, handing me a mic before he took one for himself.
The guitar intro started, and Wally started singing, his blue eyes piercing me. I put on a show, acting flirty yet shy. I had to keep from laughing a few times as he mimicked the moves John Travolta had done in the movie. By the end of our duet, my heart pounded so hard I couldn’t tell if it was from exertion or the feelings swirling around my heart.
Chapter Sixteen
My manager, Vance, had informed me that the music fest in Molly’s honor would be in two weeks. Thus, I needed to submit a song sheet to him. I’d already been in touch with my band members. They would be flying out in a week’s time so that we could rehearse together before the performance.
What could I sing to encourage Molly and make sure she enjoyed the show? Honestly, anyone else who showed up was secondary. This was about Molly.
I pulled out my song catalog. Vance had told me to pick three, since I had to leave time for the other artists to perform their sets as well.
Brave. Oh, that would definitely be a good one to sing. I opened a folder in my software and labeled it Molly’s Concert. I copied and pasted “Brave” to the list. One down, two to go.
After completing my set list, I opened my web browser. The song from the church in Napa had been playing on repeat in my mind. Octavia had mentioned it was played on Christian radio or something. I knew there had been artists who’d won Grammys. Couldn’t think of their names, of course. I’d never paid attention to the category, just as I’d ignored the orchestra and other obscure categories.
I did a search for the last Grammy inspirational winner. Lauren Daigle. Hmm. I clicked on her song to hear “You Say.”
The husky register of her voice wrapped around me like my favorite cashmere sweater. I pulled up another window to read the lyrics as she sang. All I could think of were the times I’d felt inadequate. Not being enough for my father to stick around and actually parent. The times I’d wished people would measure my singing on its own merits and not because of whose child I was. For Wally to think I was a good person and one worthy of life.
How could believing in God transform my insecurities? I didn’t know what I believed, but I knew the song struck a chord in me. A little chuckle left my lips at the music pun.
With the click of a button, I downloaded the rest of her album. Thankfully, the purchase would automatically be sent to the app on my cell, so I could listen to the other songs while doing some yoga. I grabbed my cell and headed for the roof.
I pressed the lock button to see the time on my phone. It was still early. Sometimes I wished I could sleep in, but my eyes always popped open at six thirty no matter what. Now it was seven.
I pushed open the door that led to the rooftop terrace and drew in a deep breath of air, exhaling slowly as I took in the city skyline. The summer greenery made the buildings appear bluer than usual. The wakening city quieted my soul as my brain focused on something other than life’s big questions.
I walked over to the outdoor ottoman to remove the yoga mat from the inside storage space. With a quick flick of the wrist, the mat unrolled. My shoulders rolled back as my spine straightened to my full height. Before moving into the first pose, I rotated my spine, looking right.
My heart stuttered. “I didn’t realize you were out here.”
Wally gave me a relaxed smile. “Obviously.”
A nervous chuckle slipped out before I could stop it. Why hadn’t I noticed his presence? I usually did. “Am I disturbing you?” After all, he was here first. I squinted, noting a book, notebook, and a coffee cup.
“Not at all. I don’t imagine you make much noise doing yoga.”
“True.” I held up my cellphone. “But I was planning on listening to some music.”
“Oh yeah? Which artist?”
I suddenly felt shy. What would he think of my intended playlist? “I just downloaded Lauren Daigle’s latest album.”
He stiffened, piercing me with his gaze. “Really?”
I nodded.
“Interesting choice. What made you choose her?”
I shifted onto the balls of my feet. Did I want to be honest? What if he teased me? “I was curious.” Safe answer.
“About?” he asked softly. He relaxed into his seat, propping a bare foot on the edge of his chair.
His posture and the conversation both held an intimate air. Not one bent to romance, but of a deeper connection I’d rarely experienced with another person.
“Why the artists all seem so peaceful when they sing these songs. I don’t understand their devotion.”
People used one another. That’s what men did anyway. What I’d seen on a repeated basis. You couldn’t escape it in the music industry. Definitely couldn’t ignore it in relationships.
Even my friendship with Tori and Tavia had moments of manipulation. Our friendship had been borne of trust, especially in a world where people wanted to be friends with us because of who our parents were. But we’d call in a favor or two, pull some strings because of who we knew.
Wasn’t that manipulation?
No, that’s what friends do.
I wasn’t so sure, but I hoped we had a true friendship. They were my only dependable examples of relationships.
“The devotion is reciprocal. Yet God is more devoted to us than we could ever fathom or return.”
Now it was my turn to question. “Why?”
“Because He loves us.”
I scoffed. “No one loves like that.” I stopped, surprised by my own bitterness.
“He does.”
I watched Wally, wondering if he was sincere in his beliefs. Uncomfortable with the direction the conversation had turned, I searched for a way to change the subject. “What are you reading?”
He turned the leather cover toward me. “The Bible.”
I blinked, biting back a groan. I did not expect that, but a part of me was curious. I hadn’t considered people might read from it on their own. Wasn’t that just for church? “Anything in particular?”
We both stared at one another, as if surprised the question actually came from me.
“I like to focus on a specific verse to map out.” At my blank, look he continued. “It’s called verse mapping. It allows you to explore other areas in the Bible that relate to a word or two that you’re focusing on.”
“You’re speaking Greek, Wally.”
“Come here, Columbus.” He dropped his legs, swiveling them to rest under the table.
I moved to sit across from him, but he patted the space to his left.
“Sit next to me so I can explain everything easily.”
Silence reigned as I pulled out the chair beside his, settling in and making a point to study his materials.
He pointed to the number one that had been highlighted in blue. “I’ve been feeling a little weary, so I looked up all the verses in the Bible that pertained to that word.”
I searched his face for signs of strain, but he looked perfectly at ease.
Then he pointed to a bigger book that was closed. “This concordance here has every instance of words and where they can be found in the Bible. I picked Galatians 6:9 because it spoke to me the most.”
I read the line he pointed to. And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. There was something strengthening about it. I could see how this could bolster someone’s dwindling hope.
“That’s beautiful, but how do you know it’s real?” I searched Wally’s eyes.
“Because I know He’s real.”
“How?” I whispered.
“Because He revealed Himself just when I needed Him. And since then I’ve actively sought Him.”
I gulped. What was I supposed to say to that? I simply nodded, hoping it encompassed all my emotions—even those I wasn’t exactly sure how to identify.
“If you ever have questions, ask me, ’kay?”
“Sure, Wally.”
“You know you can call me Emmett, right?” He gave me a crooked grin.
I answered in kind. “What fun would that be?”
He laughed. “Go do your yoga, April Fool’s. I’ll finish studying in my room.”
“You don’t have to.” Though, the thought of going through a routine knowing he was watching set me on edge.
“It’s all right. I’ll talk to you later.” He gathered his things and left.
I hopped up and headed to the yoga mat. As I stared at the horizon and inhaled, my mind turned to God. Was He real? Did He care about me? Of what I thought of Him?
I bit my lip as I transitioned into Warrior I pose. How could I ask Him to reveal Himself? Could it be that simple?
Um, if You truly do exist, could You reveal yourself to me? Could You help me know if You’re real and what to do with that knowledge? Um, thanks.
My cheeks heated in embarrassment. On the one hand, no one knew I’d just attempted to speak to someone I wasn’t sure existed. On the other hand, I felt foolish for speaking in my head as if someone were there. Listening. Waiting.
A chill wracked my frame and a comforting weight settled upon me. I swallowed, turning slowly to study my surroundings. I was truly alone. No one was here. Yet I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had company.
I looked up into the sky. “Is it You?”
Silence answered me. My hands shook as I entered into another yoga pose, intent on finishing my morning routine, but wondering what I had just experienced.
Chapter Seventeen
The band was here.
Euphoria flowed through me as I hugged each one of them.
McKenna, one of my backup singers, could hit those sweet soprano notes and Kianna, my other backup, had a smoky lower register. Then came Candace, one of the baddest female drummers I’d ever known. I wrapped my arms around Hector, our guitarist, and finished with, Niles, our keyboardist.
“I’m so glad you guys are here.” I clapped my hands in eagerness.
We had to meet at the label. No way everyone would fit in my studio at home. It was perfectly comfortable for me, but add five other people and we’d resemble a clown car. Thankfully, All Beats Records allowed us the stage room. We couldn’t practice at the venue yet, so instead, we’d run the set a few times here to get all the kinks out.
I loved these guys. “How’s your break been?”
“Not long enough,” Candace groaned.
I chuckled. “Hey, it’s just this one music fest and then you can go back to New Orleans.”
She smiled and took position by her drums.
Niles shuffled behind to take a spot behind the keys. He hadn’t made eye contact with anyone since he walked in. And now that I thought about it, his shoulders seemed to be hanging low and shadows darkened the skin beneath his eyes.
“Niles?” Why wasn’t he talking? He usually had something to say. It kind of unnerved me to see him so despondent.
“We’ll talk later, Hol.”
Concern filled me. “Do we need to step outside?”
He shook his head and turned away.
I wanted to object, pull him outside, and drag whatever problem he was chewing on out of him. But he’d tell me when he was ready. I exhaled and turned to Hector. “You?”
“Pretty good.” His lips curved in a slow smile, lighting up his olive-skinned features. “I met someone.”
“Do tell.”
He shook his head. “Not yet.” He had a secretive kind of smile, and I wondered how he could so easily give his heart away.
Didn’t it scare him? What if she was just with him to get to me? Not that he wasn’t a big deal in his own right, but still. People used each other.
Nerves slinked their way in, pushing my good mood out of the way.
