Return to Destiny, page 14
Both appeared to instantly understand what she meant. Jenny said, “Mick was a mystery to me when we met. And he seemed so dangerous. But you’re right—I couldn’t stop how I felt about him even when it seemed crazy and hopeless.”
Rachel nodded, adding, “I intensely disliked Mike when we first met. But at the very same time, I fell in love with him. It was ridiculous. And completely beyond my control.” She shook her head. “Believe me, I tried not to love the big lug. But it was much larger than me.”
Cara suffered a small stab of envy, because both of them had ended up marrying the guy it seemed unlikely for them to love. Whereas loving Tyler had always made all the sense in the world for her—but she was pretty sure she would never end up marrying him now. Too much had happened. And too much remained uncertain about his future. And even if that weren’t the case, how could she ever truly trust him again?
She couldn’t.
She was just totally wrapped up in him now anyway, despite all that.
“So where things stand,” she told them, “is that…I’m in it now, for better or worse. I’m back in love with Tyler Fleet.” She shook her head, still in disbelief about that. “After all the time I spent getting over him, somehow, someway, I’ve fallen for him again. Even though I know he won’t stay in this town forever. Even though I know in my heart that this is just a temporary stop for him.”
“But maybe it’s not,” Jenny countered.
Yet Cara held up a hand to stop her. “No, I can’t let myself believe that for even a second. I mean, already, I’m in too deep here. I have to know he’ll leave again, that some opportunity will come along to put him back in the spotlight. I have to be ready for that. That’s the only thing that’ll save me in the end, you know? I mean, it will crush me—but at least I’m not deluding myself.”
She stopped, let out yet one more sigh, and said to them, “What I’m starting to realize is…falling in love is an act of faith, even if an involuntary one.”
Her two friends appeared to be thinking that over.
And Cara went on, “Every person whose ever been in love has gone into it knowing there are no guarantees, that it might not work out. Every. Single. Person. Even if the person we love feels the same way at the time, we’ve all seen love fail, or end, for a million different reasons. And if the person we love doesn’t feel the same way, we convince ourselves that maybe they will—even while we know maybe they also won’t. And yet, despite all of this, all this risk, all this uncertainty, all this lack of control over the situation, we all fall in love anyway.”
With a small sigh of her own, Jenny said, “It’s destiny, I suppose. Our fate as humans.”
Cara nodded, feeling philosophical and a little bit wise—but at the same time, pretty far from empowered, since Rachel’s big plan had failed miserably. And she had no idea how to guard her heart from whatever was coming.
Chapter Twelve
November blew in with a whoosh of cold wind that somehow only echoed the whirlwind of activity around Cara.
After their connection at Jenny’s Halloween party, Cara and Tyler became a couple, simple as that. And it seemed so natural, so normal, to people around town that no one even batted an eye.
Oh sure, occasionally someone would slyly say to her, “So, you and Tyler, huh?”
But she’d just brush it off with, “Yeah, we’re spending some time together. It’s nothing serious, though.”
Even Principal Turley approached her one morning to say, “So you and our young football coach are back together again, I hear.”
“We’re seeing each other,” she told her boss, “but it’s just casual.”
“Well, it’s nice that you’re having some fun for a change. You work too hard.” He’d ended on a wink.
Sometimes they hung out at Tyler’s house, or hers; other times they ate dinner together at Dolly’s or drove over to a restaurant in Crestview. As for the sex, it continued to be as spectacular as the first time—and it stayed on her mind a lot. Yes, she was busy juggling parades and pep rallies and science fairs, and she was as caught up in Bulldogmania as anyone, but in between all that, she was always looking forward to the next time she and Tyler would be naked together.
And the feeling stayed with her, often, that if good sex was the only thing between them, then maybe, just maybe, she could have somehow miraculously pulled off Rachel’s grand fling plan. But there was so much more to it than just a physical connection.
He made her laugh, and blush, and smile.
They talked—about everything from current events to school faculty gossip, from memories and old times to their families and friends.
When something good happened to her, Tyler quickly became the person she wanted to tell, and the same seemed to be true for him.
At the pep rally before the last regular game of the season, he grabbed her hand, leaned in close, and asked, “Hey, will you wait for me tonight after the game, on the bleachers?”
The request surprised her. “Won’t you be celebrating with the team?” No matter how much time they spent together these days, he never sold the team short, and she wouldn’t have wanted him to.
“Sure,” he said with his usual grin. “In fact, there’s going to be a team party at the Becker house. But they can get started without me.”
The night brought on more fun and excitement for Destiny High. It was Senior Night, with each senior player and cheerleader honored on the field at halftime. And of course, the Bulldogs pulled off another win—it was getting to be commonplace—and closed out the regular season undefeated.
Afterward, having said goodbye to all her friends, Cara sat still decked out in her DHS regalia, including a temporary tattoo of a bulldog on her cheek, waiting for Tyler as the stands emptied. Cold weather had her bundled in a puffy red winter coat with the Bulldogs logo on the back—a gift from Principal Turley on her five-year anniversary on the job.
People filed out, one by one, until she was alone, and eventually, the players exited the locker room, laughing and goofing around, Jacob Becker calling out behind him, “See ya at our place, Coach!”
And then the handsome Coach Fleet made his way up into the bleachers, where he sat down next to her, instantly taking her mittened hand into his.
“What’s this all about?” she asked him cheerfully. “Why are we out here freezing?”
He smiled and said, “Before we go into playoffs, CareBear, I just wanted to take the opportunity to thank you. For everything. For giving me another chance to be a real part of this town—and for giving me another chance with you. You’ve helped me find my footing again, in more ways than one.”
“You thank me for that stuff all the time, Tyler,” she pointed out, and it was true, he did. He took none of the things that had happened for him since returning to Destiny for granted.
“I know, but…well, when I first started coaching the team, it was all new, and I was feeling my way, just trying to help out. And what I realize is…the way I feel now, the excitement over taking this team into the playoffs…” He stopped, shook his head. “I haven’t felt anything like that since I left Destiny. Not even in college, when my team did well. And certainly not in the NFL, the way things went for me there. This is a feeling I never thought I’d have again. I guess I thought it was reserved for…when you’re young, you know? When everything’s fresh and new. But it’s not.
“And the same is true for how I feel when I’m with you. I thought the way we felt as two kids in love was…over, something you could only feel as a teenager when everything is happening for the first time. But turns out I was wrong about that, too.”
“Tyler,” she began, “you know I don’t want to talk about…us, like that.” She’d made that very clear over the last couple of weeks. And she had to stick to her guns, lest she get sucked in to believing this thing with him would…last.
And she knew that just wasn’t a promise he could make at this point in his life. His agent could call him with a new job offer tomorrow, and it could take him anywhere. She simply didn’t want to use words like love or anything else that sounded so serious and important, no matter how she felt about him.
“I know, I know,” he said, still flashing a forgive-me grin. “But I just needed you to hear that—because when I was at my lowest, you picked me back up. And without you, I’m pretty sure I’d still be out at my house alone, needing a haircut and sulking like a little kid.”
She gave him a kiss, but then continued to keep things as light as possible by saying, “Are you done now? Because I’m freezing.”
He just laughed good-naturedly. “Yep. Just gotta go turn off the lights.”
They walked hand-in-hand through the locker room and into the space just off the gym where the light panels resided, the same where everyone gathered before pep rallies. Waiting for him to find a key and unlock the panel, she grew too warm from being so bundled up and unzipped her coat, taking it off and holding it in her arms. She watched out a back window as the stadium went dark, leaving only starlight and the moon to shine down on the field.
Returning to the locker room together, Tyler said, “Just a sec—need to lock up my office.” The coach’s “office” was a mere cubby off the locker room, but she liked that Tyler didn’t seem to mind.
Lowering her coat and purse to an old wooden bench while she waited, she found herself studying the same red lockers that had been here as long as she could remember. As a high schooler, occasionally walking into the boy’s locker room with Tyler had felt like visiting a mysterious and masculine place, one where not many girls got to tread. She let those memories sweep her back to a place in time when young love had felt simple, easy. It almost felt that way right now, in this moment.
She didn’t hear Tyler approach until his arms slid around her waist from behind and he lowered a kiss to her neck that quickly spread all through her.
She covered his arms with her own. “I was just remembering when we were seniors. Coming in here with you felt…special, like a place I wasn’t really supposed to be. And it smelled so…boyish.”
He laughed softly, his breath warming her neck. “You mean sweaty?”
She laughed, too. “Maybe. I just knew it seemed…a little exciting to be where all the boys hung out. Especially coming from a family of all girls.”
“Know what?” he whispered in her ear. “I used to fantasize about doing it with you in here, up against my locker.”
She hadn’t expected that, and even though that sort of thing didn’t usually sound fun to her—she was good with keeping her sex behind closed doors and on private property—his words made her ripple with desire. She turned her head to look at him. “Really?”
“Mmm-hmm,” he confirmed, leaning closer, using one hand to brush her hair back so he could drop more light, gentle kisses on her neck.
She bit her lip, not quite ready to give in to such illicit-seeming pleasure. “Um, but…we probably shouldn’t.”
“Why not?” More neck kisses.
“What if someone walks in?”
“Everybody’s gone, Care.”
“Don’t you have a party to get to?” she asked.
“It can wait. This can’t.” He punctuated the statement by easing one hand around her hip and between her legs.
“Well, I’m sure it’s…against the rules.” It was getting harder to protest, though, as her body welled with longing.
“Maybe you haven’t heard,” he murmured in her ear, leaning into her, letting her feel his hardness against the back of her blue jeans, “but I’m a big deal coach here now. And I officially give us permission.”
And so she surrendered all her good-girl notions that made sex in the high school locker room seem scandalous and abominable, and gave in to the temptation of Tyler being inside her, right here, right now. She let him shove down her jeans, and then his own, before he pushed her up against the locker that had once borne the label Fleet #11 and made her moan.
Tyler stepped out of the Destiny Police Station, where he’d stopped to say hi to his dad and had ended up talking football with Mike Romo for a while, then crossed the street to the town square, where he was meeting up with Cara whenever the after-school science fair ended.
The sky was cloudy and a little gray, but he didn’t mind. Turned out that despite how uncomfortable he’d originally felt in Destiny upon coming home a few months ago, now being here was easy. He’d forgotten how much he liked his little hometown, how friendly the people were, how quaint the old buildings and homes. It was just past five, and with the days growing shorter, dusk coming on faster, the square was empty and quiet. He walked up into the gazebo and sat down on one of the built-in benches to wait.
When he’d reluctantly gotten dragged into being the high school football coach, he couldn’t have dreamed that in just a matter of weeks, it would turn his whole outlook on life around. Back then, he’d had no idea what his future held. But now, he was starting to think he did.
The Bulldogs had won their first playoff game the other night. The parade and pep rally the night before had been the perfect show of support by the school and the town, making it all very special for the kids. And the excitement he felt in his bones about the upcoming playoff games—only two more between the Bulldogs and a battle for a state championship—was…well, in some respects, almost even better than when he’d been on the field as a player. Back then, all he knew was winning and success. Now, ten years later, he understood a lot more about life, and sports, and how rare and special it was for a small school like DHS to go undefeated all season long and now be into coveted post-season match-ups. And after his personal losses in the NFL, he thought he appreciated the journey the Bulldogs were on right now almost even more than he’d been able to back then.
He made a mental note to tell the team all that before the regional semi-finals this Friday night. But what he knew now as an adult was that you just couldn’t experience winning the same way you did after suffering some loss, and no pep talk in the world could change that. He knew that only as these kids went on to become men would they look back and truly realize what they’d accomplished this season.
“Well, if it’s not Coach Fleet.”
He looked up to see Adam Becker’s smiling face. “Hey man,” Tyler said, “what’s up?”
Adam climbed the few gazebo steps to join him. “What’s up is—dude, you saved the whole season!”
Tyler just laughed. As dad to his two best players and team leaders, Adam had crossed his path plenty over recent weeks, but this was the first time they’d talked privately since Adam had come out to his house before all this had started.
“Seriously,” Adam said, “I have to thank you. My boys think the world of you. They were crushed when Coach Parr resigned, but a day later, there you were, picking up the pieces. And look at us now—headed to a second playoff game!” He shook his head lightly. “I can’t tell you how much it means. To the boys, and to the whole community.”
Tyler gave his old boss and friend a sincere smile. “You raised some good kids there. And…I think you know it helped me out a lot, too.”
Adam just shrugged. “It’d take anybody a little time to get their bearings. All I know is that the NFL’s loss is Destiny’s gain. And no matter what happens now, win or lose going forward, this season is something my boys—and all the kids—will carry with them their whole lives.”
“To tell you the truth,” Tyler confided, “it’s a time that means a lot to me, too. More than I would have guessed the day Cara guilted me into giving it a try.”
Adam cautiously raised his eyebrows. “Speaking of Cara, things seem good between you two again.”
Tyler nodded easily. “They are. Some things never change, I guess.”
“So…think there’s any chance you might stick around as coach after the season ends?”
Tyler didn’t want to make any promises publicly just yet, but he admitted, “Thinking about it. It could happen.”
Adam didn’t press him, just ending with, “Well, I’m sure it goes without saying that the whole town would be happy to have you back permanently.”
He left after that, saying he was meeting Sue Ann at the café, and Tyler told him, “Cara and I will probably see you guys there once her science fair wraps up.”
And when he was alone again, something Adam had said replayed in his mind. The NFL’s loss is our gain.
And that was when it hit him. Cara had told him she believed everything happened for a reason. And he wasn’t sure where he stood on that, but he suddenly realized that none of what was happening in his life right now could have come into being if he hadn’t been dropped from the Comets’ roster after training camp this year. None of it could have unfolded the same way if things in his career hadn’t transpired the way they did.
If he hadn’t been cut, he’d still be making a lot of money just by showing up for practices and working out every day—but he’d spent his entire NFL career waiting for something good to happen, at any given time either waiting to play or waiting to heal, and he’d still be doing more of the same if he were still on the team. He’d still be warming a bench on the sidelines while his teammates got to play the game he loved.
And even if he went way back in time—if he hadn’t made football his life when he was young—well, then he would have studied something different in college and gotten some practical degree that would have him…who knows where? But not coaching this team right now. Not seen as someone who had the experience or ability to lead and be an inspiration to these kids.
And what if he’d never broken up with Cara and she’d ended up with him after he got drafted, bouncing from city to city? Where would they be now? He couldn’t answer that, either, but maybe she would resent being shuffled from place to place, being at the beck and call of his career. Maybe having been together from high school, they would have started taking each other for granted over time. That was pure speculation, of course, but he was beginning to think that you appreciated things more fully for having had to live without them.
