Skin in the Game, page 20
“Yes, sir.”
Krug prepares another needle, injects it into Hawkins’ arm, then leaves the room.
“What are you doing in here?”
Kate turns with a start, to see the attendant staring at her from the door. She removes the headphones.
“I’m here to pick up Hawkins for his session. I thought I might observe him for a moment.”
“You really shouldn’t be in here.”
“Tell me, does Dr. Krug visit Hawkins regularly?”
“At least once a day. During my shift anyway.”
“You seem pretty sure about that.”
“Yes, of course. He usually comes by here afterwards and retrieves the tape of his meeting.”
“I see. Well, I must being going now. It’s time for Hawkins’ session.”
She passes the elevators and security and makes her way toward the lab in the west wing of the floor. As she approaches the doorway, she sees the lab technician seated on a stool at a metal table in the center, spooning out white powder onto a set of electronic scales.
“Dr. Krug sent me down. He’s asked for additional medication for Hawkins. Do you have some ready?”
“But he was just here.”
Kate puts her hands in her white coat pockets and approaches the metal table.
“We’re in the final phases of treatment with this subject. We require additional medication. I’m in a hurry.”
“All right, all right; there’s no preparation involved, of course, but we’re running low. We’ll need to order more.”
He walks over to the cabinet on the wall beside him, reaches in and passes her three vials. “Will this be enough?”
She gazes down at the label on the vials. Phencyclidine. PCP. She stuffs the vials in her pocket, turns for the door and stops at the cabinet, picking up a handful of vials of Lorazepam, a sedative, and some syringes. She struggles to stop herself shaking.
“They will counter the effect, you know.”
His voice echoes in her ears.
“Just in case it gets messy. In fact, do you have any hypnotics?”
“Rohipnol,” he says
“I’ll take some of that as well.”
The technician smiles and passes her two vials.
“Watch it with that. You’ve got enough there to knock out a horse.”
As she heads back toward Joe’s cell, she feels in a daze. Her mind is spinning, but she reassures herself that she is doing the right thing. She passes through security once again, re-enters the east wing and looks up to find Krug staring at her in the center of the corridor.
“In a hurry?”
“I just thought I’d come down to observe Hawkins. While I’m down here, I might as well take him up to our session.”
He leans in closer and studies her face.
“And have you already made some observations?”
“Yes, I’m just on my way—”
“Where is your guard?”
“I told him I would be back quickly. I don’t think I need someone trailing me at all times.”
“Purely for your protection, Dr. Farrow.”
Krug holds his stare, then turns and saunters off down the dark corridor.
Kate follows the corridor in the opposite direction to Joe’s room. An orderly stands guard outside. She enters and finds Joe lying on his back, shaking uncontrollably, drenched in sweat. She soaks a towel in cold water in the sink, wipes his brow and takes hold of his hands.
“Joe, Joe, can you hear me?”
After a few minutes, the shaking reduces and then stops, and he slowly opens his eyes. He stares straight at her, straight through her.
“Palettes of sound and symphonies of color. Atrophy of the hippocampus. A lesion in the amygdala. The sea monster in me is dying. The almond in my brain is crumbling. Diabolical forces knocking on the door outside. And inside.”
“Joe, take my hand.”
“I am,” he bursts into laughter, “a creature who stands on four legs, two legs, then three. A child of the swollen sea, fated to earn my passage to the city of the Sphinx. To crystallize and conform. Ah, but I see the tragic plurality of life, and so can affirm everything, even pain. I hear a single voice.”
“You’re hallucinating.”
She draws in closer. He stands up on the bed, leans into the corner and laughs.
“The earth is the table of the gods, and the dice are thrown in bad faith. They’re gambling with our destiny. We’ve been duped, internalizing our pain. There is no sin or guilt.”
“Joe, come down! It’s the drug that Krug is giving you that’s responsible for all of this.”
He waves his arms in the air manically.
“Boots marching through time. Smashing thought to pieces. We do it to ourselves. We are shadows, secretly suffering in shame and sorrow. But not me, not me.”
He jumps up and down on the bed.
“How long has this been going on? How long has Krug been giving you angel dust?”
He flops down to a sitting position in front of her. He looks up at her, sweat running down his forehead.
“Sacrificial bulls and massacred horses. The cold intensity of the light of reason. The virgin screams at the sight of the dead child in her arms. Floating on the sea, I let go of the cross. Sink into desire. Face the mystery, rooted in silence and darkness.”
He closes his eyes and crosses his legs on the edge of the bed.
Kate steps back and composes herself. How could this possibly help? What is Krug up to? I’m missing something.
His breathing increases rapidly. He falls to his knees.
“A labyrinthine man never seeks the truth, only his Ariadne. His amor fati. To the mistress of the labyrinth! Milk and honey.”
He looks up at Kate, raises a hand in the air and grins, his eyes bulging out of their sockets. He grabs hold of her waist.
“Drive your hips, your lips, into mine. No cycle of seasons. No arrow of time. Eternal return engage with me. The differentials of change are all I …”
He squeezes her.
“Nihilism vanquished with a kiss.”
He closes his eyes and buries his face in her stomach. She grabs him by the shoulders and eases him back away from her. She speaks slowly, calmly.
“Listen to me. Krug is giving you PCP. Do you know what that is? It’s a dissociative drug, a hallucinogenic drug. It is aggravating your psychological condition. Joe, there is no good reason for him or anyone to be giving you this drug. We need to get out of here. Do you understand?”
“Out of here, away. Yes, Doctor.”
She pulls a syringe from her coat pocket.
“Joe, you can trust me. You have to trust me. I’m going to give you something to counter the effect of the drug you are on. OK?”
She dips the needle into his arm.
“This will bring you back down.”
A few moments later, Joe’s expression is transformed. He is calm.
“Now, Joe, I’m going to make a strange request. I want you to pretend you are in a psychotic rage.”
“Pretend?”
“Can you do this for me? I’m trying to help you. You need to trust me.”
“I do.”
He jumps on the bed and starts screaming at the top of his lungs.
“I can’t take it anymore, I’m getting out of here.”
She rushes to the door.
“Orderly, the patient is out of control. I’ve given him something, but I think we need to immobilize him.”
The orderly rushes in and places a black hood over Hawkins head. He twists Hawkins’ arms behind his back and cuffs them. Then he throws him to the floor and shackles his feet. He stands over him and watches as Hawkins’ body squirms, then slows and comes to rest.
“OK, OK, that will do. The drug should be kicking in soon. I’m taking him up for his session.”
“Are you sure? He looks dangerous.”
“Once the drug kicks in, he’ll be in an ideal state for questioning. Radio up to the orderly outside my door to let him know I’m coming.”
“If you insist.”
She pulls Hawkins up to standing and guides him out the door.
“I’ll need a key for his chains.”
He hesitates momentarily before dropping the keys into her hand. As she walks Hawkins down the corridor toward the elevator, she looks back. The orderly stares at them, with his arms crossed, grinning, then jerks his head back and turns away.
Kate winces. A numb feeling runs through her shoulders down to her hands. No turning back.
CHAPTER VIII
The corridor leading to her office is quiet. To one side, a janitor mops the wooden flooring. The orderly outside her office stands with his hands at his sides. She tightens her grip on Hawkins and nods to the orderly. Hawkins turns his head and begins to mumble. She whispers in his ear, keeping her eyes fixed on the orderly. As they approach the door, the orderly places his right hand on the handle of the billy club hanging from his waist.
“They told me downstairs there might be some trouble.”
“There could be. I’ve given him a sedative, but I need you alert.”
He turns to follow her inside the door.
“Will do, Doctor. Shall I sit in on—”
“No, that won’t be necessary. But listen out for my call.”
Kate closes the door behind her and guides Hawkins to the chair in the middle of the room. She sits at her desk and with a few keystrokes begins copying the files from her desktop to her laptop. She opens the bottom drawer, removes the standard issue handgun she’s never used and slips it into her handbag. She closes the laptop, folds up her overcoat and turns to Joe.
“I’m going to take you out of here with me. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Kate.”
“I need you to do some more acting in order for this to work. First we need to get past the orderly outside. When I give you the word, start making the same fuss you did downstairs. I will call in the orderly. When I do, stand up and brace yourself. He will take you to the ground. Leave the rest to me. OK?”
Kate squeezes his hand. He jumps up and starts shouting: “I’ll never tell you anything. You might as well go ahead and kill me.”
His shackled legs squirm, and he waves his arms wildly.
“Orderly, assistance now!”
The orderly bursts in, billy club in hand. He strikes Hawkins in the side of his torso with the club. From behind, he folds his arm around Hawkins’ neck, knocks the back of Hawkins’ legs with the club and takes him down. He kneels on Hawkins’ back and raises the club in the air.
“That won’t be necessary. I have an anesthetic. Hold out his arm.”
As he does, Kate pulls out a syringe and stabs the orderly in the back of the neck. He twists around to Kate with a bewildered look on his face, then falls to the ground. Kate holds the syringe in her hand, shaking. His eyes roll back. She rushes to Hawkins with the key, releasing his cuffs and shackles, then takes the hood off of his head.
“Quickly, take off your clothes and help me remove his.”
Two minutes later, the orderly is wearing Hawkins’ orange suit, bound in the chains, the black hood on his head, his face pressed on the floor, and Hawkins is decked out in the orderly’s white clothes.
She picks up the phone.
“You better get up here right away. Hawkins is very aggressive. I’ve sedated him—he’s out now. He needs to go back to his cell.”
She drops the phone.
“Our only hope is Krug isn’t watching.”
She opens the door, and the sensor lights in the hallway flash. She stares down toward the elevators at the center of the floor. The hallway is empty. She guides Hawkins in the opposite direction.
“We’re going out through the staff side of the building on the main level. There are back stairs leading there at the end of the hall. Keep your head down and walk slowly toward them.”
She gives him her handbag and other items, and he walks off.
She can feel her heart rate increasing as she sees the orderly running in her direction.
“Hawkins has been sedated. He’s in my office. I’m going to get Krug.”
The orderly stops in front of her, breathing heavily.
“Where is your guard?”
“He told me he was going to look for you. You haven’t seen him?”
The orderly shakes his head and gives Kate a confused look.
“Take Hawkins down and leave him bound as he is until we arrive.”
“Don’t you think we should—”
“We need to restore order here. Come on! Move fast.”
The orderly nods and rushes into Kate’s office.
Kate strides down the hallway, watching for other faces, ready to make a run for it if necessary. She meets Joe at the stairs, places her hand on the sensor on the wall and looks into the iris-detection camera. The door opens, and they head down the stairs. He walks slowly, dragging his feet.
“Hurry up. We don’t have much time.”
Joe scratches his head.
“That was easy. Maybe too easy?”
“We still have the guard below and one at the gate.”
“I’ve lost the feeling in my legs.”
“It’s the sedative I gave you. It will wear off soon. Just stay calm and keep your head down.”
“Keeping calm is definitely not my problem right now.”
On the main floor, the entrance to the staff side of the building is located about ten yards down the hall. The hall is dark, with bright lights at the end. A security guard is sitting at the exit, checking passes. Behind him, another electronic security gate. The guard yawns and sits up straight in his chair.
“We need a diversion.”
Kate examines Joe.
“Follow my cue and try to look distressed. Flash him the badge in your chest pocket after me. OK?”
She rushes toward the guard.
“We’ve lost control of a subject. He burst out of my room and is wandering somewhere around the premises. It’s 13. He’s on level three. The orderly there may need some help. We’re going to find Krug. You’d better get up there. He’s drugged out of his mind, extremely violent.”
“I’m not supposed to leave my post.”
He takes a long look at Kate. Then he looks over to Hawkins. Hawkins looks the other way, then bends down pretending to tie his shoe.
“Well, at least send for support. We need to find Krug now.”
Kate shows her pass, and Hawkins flashes the one in his pocket. The guard stands up for a moment, studying them, then stands aside and picks up the phone. She clears the electronic security gate and they both walk through.
On the staff side of the building are locker rooms and a lunch area. In the hallway, a few doctors, nurses and orderlies are strolling around.
“At the far end, there is an exit to the parking lot.”
She slows down, determined to look unhurried.
“Keep your head down.”
When they are just before the door, a colleague approaches, waving.
“Kate, I’ve been meaning to …”
Hawkins carries on, opens the door and enters the parking lot. Kate stops to chat, glancing at the door repeatedly. She brushes her brow with her hand as her temperature rises. She turns back to the colleague, who continues to talk.
“… so how about Saturday?”
“I really have to go.”
She darts through the door and looks around for Hawkins. He’s nowhere to be seen. She rushes forward, scanning the parking lot, then sees him standing by her car, a green Fiat, talking to another orderly. Kate blinks, and tries to regain some composure as she approaches.
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Hawkins smiles and turns to Kate. The orderly studies them both.
“Showing the new member of staff around, Dr. Farrow?”
He winks. Kate blushes and looks down.
“We’re old friends.”
“I see. Nice to see the doctors so friendly with the other staff.”
He smiles and walks off. Kate turns to Hawkins.
“How did you know this was my car?”
“Just a guess.”
“Get in.”
Kate heads out of the parking lot toward the gate. As they approach, the guard eyes her suspiciously from his booth and she lowers her window.
“Early finish, Dr. Farrow. Unusual for you.”
“I do have a life, you know.”
He stares at her and eventually presses the button to raise the gate. As she eases forward, he reaches for his walkie-talkie and the gate starts to lower. She floors the accelerator, and the barrier scrapes the top of the car as she drives through. She veers to the right and tears away down the road, shots ringing out from behind. The guard stands in the middle of the road with his walkie-talkie as they drive out of sight.
Joe grins.
“So that’s what they teach you in spy school.”
Kate stays focused on the road and says nothing. Dusk is just settling in. The Fiat races down the winding road. Joe turns to check if they are being followed, but sees only deserted countryside. They catch each other’s eyes. He breathes a sigh of relief, while Kate looks on, trembling.
*
Kate leans on the front hood of the Fiat and gazes beyond the cliffs to the Channel. White caps can just be seen on the surface of the water, rolling along in diagonals and disappearing. Cumulonimbus clouds tower like volcanoes topped with giant mushrooms, forming and re-forming, floating across the sky. A breeze blows the long grass of the rolling field, tapering down to the cliffs, where land meets sea and sky. Her long, dark-brown hair blows back with the wind. She pulls her raincoat close to her neck and ties her hair in a red and blue scarf. She looks in her bag, pulls out the black revolver and holds it in her left hand. She aims it at the sea and then opens the chamber to check that it is loaded. She locks it and places it back in her bag.
Hawkins walks around the car and sits beside her.
“So why are we here? The White Cliffs? Beautiful spot, but what’s the plan?”
“Why are we here? That’s a good question. Why are we here? What am I doing? Throwing my career away, risking my own freedom. Why, Joe? For what?”
She pushes herself off the car and stomps down the field toward the cliffs.
