Beyond the Blue, page 23
“Don’t sweat it,” she said, giving Lara a smile. “All that matters is you were okay.”
One down, Morgan thought, as Lara’s eyes glimmered with affection. Mei’s other daughter, made of glacial ice, would be harder to melt. Grace, with Mei’s poise and her father’s looks, rolled her eyes. “We do love your drunk and disorderly tales, Lara.”
“Everyone does regretful things in college,” Morgan said.
“Oh, really?” Grace raised an eyebrow. “And where did you go to school?”
“Michigan State,” Morgan replied. “And then to Oxford for my Master’s as a Rhodes Scholar.”
“Where’s Oxford?” Nathan inquired.
“England,” Morgan said. “Like Hogwarts, but not nearly as cool. Instead of magic there’s just a lot of rowing.”
Julia scrunched her face. “What’s a Rhodes Scholar?”
Lara leaned in conspiratorially toward her niece. “It’s a scholarship program for smart kids. They get to study at Oxford University, which is a really prestigious school.”
“I wanna be a Rhodes Scholar,” Julia announced.
“I bet you could,” Morgan said, gesturing around the table. “You’re super smart, like the rest of your family, you work hard in school, and your grandma told me you do volunteer work, too.”
Julia nodded vigorously. “I tutor and Nate helps out the coaches at the community center.”
“That’s great! I hope you’re both extremely proud of yourselves. Being a Rhodes Scholar is amazing, but honestly, doing the work to get there was as rewarding as getting the opportunity. I got to do a lot of great community service for the city.”
Grace peered at Morgan over the top of her glass, suspicious and calculating. “So, that’s your thing, hmm? Being an upstanding citizen? Community service, public servant, rescuing my delinquent sister and then my mother? Next you’ll tell me you scoop kittens out of trees and read books to shelter puppies.”
Switching gears, Morgan hardened her gaze as she focused on Mei’s other daughter. “My occupation often puts me in a position to help others. I would be remiss not to. Plus, I like it.”
“Is that so? Am I next?” Grace tipped back more wine and lifted her eyebrow again. “Any plans to carry me bridal style out of a burning plane?”
With a good-natured chuckle, Morgan shook her head. “That implies you somehow mishandled the piloting, doesn’t it? I have to imagine the chances of that are pretty low. Mei told me they recently held a dinner in your honor as part of a celebration for your five years of exemplary service. You must be an incredible pilot to have such an astonishing record so young.”
Caught off guard, Grace went silent for a few long beats as she considered all of what Morgan had said and how best to pivot away from the compliment. Mateo piped up first. “Grace is incredible. You should see how she handles the pressure, cool as a cucumber. I sat in the jump seat for one of her flights once and it was amazing.”
This prompted a boisterous story from Nathan and Julia about flying in the plane with their mother piloting, and Morgan felt Mei squeeze her thigh under the table in a tiny show of support. Gesturing toward Morgan, Jui-Yu spoke up for the first time in over half an hour, speaking to Mei in Mandarin. Once finished, she nodded at Morgan and returned her attention to her grandchildren with a relaxed smile.
Worried, Morgan lowered her voice. “Was that about me? Does she hate me? You can be honest; I’m ready to hear it. I mean, I’m not, it’ll devastate me, but I’ll cry in the shower at home and not in front of everyone.”
“She’s impressed. You didn’t cave under my daughter’s rudeness and you didn’t overuse the soy sauce.” Fork in hand, Morgan froze. With a smile, Mei leaned in and nudged her shoulder. “It’s a compliment. She thinks Americans use too much soy sauce.”
“Oh. I didn’t even know that was a test I had to pass.” Morgan shook her head. “Are there others?”
Glancing around the table at all the personalities in her family, Mei shrugged and nodded. “Probably.”
After receiving a slice of cake, Morgan retreated to the living room to hand it to Jui-Yu, who took it with a smile. “Sit.”
Morgan wanted cake for herself, but she dutifully sat on the coffee table across from Jui-Yu. They regarded each other in silence for a few beats. Jui-Yu resembled Mei quite a bit, especially the same lovely eyes Mei and Lara inherited. She had a similarly commanding presence, capturing respect and attention without speaking at all.
“You love Mei-Ling.”
Well, at least her interrogation started easy enough. “Yes, ma’am.”
“It was not a question, I know this,” Jui-Yu remarked. “Your job, it’s a good job? Steady job?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“And this job not going to kill you? My Mei-Ling already a widow once. Not again, that is too much.”
Morgan tilted her head. “Oh, no, it’s—it’s pretty safe.”
“Good. Money is not a problem, my Mei-Ling have a lot of money.”
“Um, okay. I don’t want her mo—”
“When is your birthday?”
Morgan looked around as if the answer existed in Grace’s living room. “October fourteenth.”
“What year?”
“1985.”
Jui-Yu stroked her chin. “Hmm. Ox.”
“A Wood Ox,” Morgan added. “Mei’s talked to me about it a bit.”
“Do you want children, Morgan?” Jui-Yu asked abruptly.
At this moment Grace walked in, eyes huge and stifling a chuckle. When Morgan looked to her for relief, she found none. “Ah, no, not really.”
“Why not?”
“I didn’t have a good childhood, so I don’t know how to give a kid a good life,” Morgan replied, holding a smile on her face like a fragile vase.
Jui-Yu contemplated this with nearly closed eyes. Worried she fell asleep, Morgan reached for her but the woman spoke up loudly and Morgan retracted her hand in fear. “Where is your mother?”
“My mother passed away when I was fifteen.”
“Not natural,” Jui-Yu stated, not asking. Morgan shook her head. She patted Morgan on the knee and gave her one nod. “Okay.”
Both Morgan and Grace waited for something else to happen, but Jui-Yu seemed satisfied with that answer for now. “That’s it? Just okay?” Grace rounded the chair, sipping on eggnog. “Wàipó, that’s it? You grilled Mateo for an hour the first time you met him. He cried the whole way home. You asked Mom if she was sure about Dad, like, every Christmas.”
“I ask more questions when people lie. I ask Mate-oh until he stop telling me what I want to hear and tell me the truth. I ask Allan about Mei-Ling, and Mei-Ling about Allan.”
“Sure, but you asked, like, every year.”
“I never like the answer,” Jui-Yu replied. “Always lies.”
With a white-knuckle grip on her drink, Grace’s entire person shook. “What are you talking about? Dad loved Mom.”
“Allan was a good man and my Mei-Ling had love, yes, but that is not everything. A good match is more than love. A good match is completion. You cannot be complete if you live with lies. Only truth bring true love.”
“And what, this is true love? They’ve been together what, four months?”
“Six,” Morgan corrected softly.
“I ask Morgan and I know what she want from Mei-Ling, what make her complete.” Jui-Yu opened her eyes fully, crinkling them in a smile. “To belong. My Mei-Ling want that, too.”
Swallowing the lump in her throat, Morgan blinked away tears as she sat back. Scowling, Grace aggressively put her glass down as Lara cautiously walked into the room, eyes shifting between the women like she’d stumbled into a standoff. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything is fine. Wàipó decided Mom’s new girlfriend—whom she only told her actual family about, like, last week—is somehow a better match for her than our father, whom she was married to for thirty years.”
Lara rolled her eyes. “And? So what if she did? Wàipó can think what she wants. Maybe she’s right, you don’t know.”
“How can you say that?”
The plate full of cake in Jui-Yu’s hand slipped as she dozed off and Morgan scooped it up, leaving it on the coffee table. Standing, she offered Grace an apologetic smile, desperate to diffuse what was rapidly becoming a situation. “She was just being nice.”
“No, you don’t know Wàipó,” Grace replied. “And how could you? You only met her two hours ago. I guess it doesn’t matter since you’re suddenly Mom’s soul mate. But trust me, she meant what she said. She isn’t nice. Especially not for no reason.”
“I’m sure she didn’t mean to offend you or your father.”
Lara stepped closer in an attempt to intervene. “Dude, chill out.”
“Oh, please. You were as skeptical as I was until she got here and now you want to fuck her.” Agape, Lara flushed and crossed her arms defiantly over her chest. “Don’t look at me like that, we all know it’s true. And that’s, that’s fine. That’s classic Lara, so whatever. What’s not fine is Wàipó shitting on Dad and telling Morgan she ‘belongs’ when the only reason she’s here is because Dad is dead.”
“And what, you’ve decided to become the family bigot?”
“Don’t turn this into a gay thing, you know I’m not homophobic.”
“Do I?”
“Oh, sure, now I’m a homophobe because I resent the implication Mom’s rebound with Lady Oedipus here is more meaningful than her marriage to our father.”
“Grace.”
All three women swiveled to look at Mei, standing in the doorway to the living room, incensed. Lara shrank back, taking a step or two away from them. Her sister, however, remained unbowed. Behind Mei, Mateo shooed the children down a hallway and away from the escalating tension. Any hurt Morgan experienced from Grace disparaging her dissipated the moment pain appeared in Mei’s eyes. A rare, intensely hot anger burned inside Morgan’s chest.
“I think you owe your mother an apology.”
Grace balked, whipping back to glare at Morgan. “Are you fucking kidding? Who are you to say that to me? Maybe Lara wants you to be her daddy, but I do not.”
“What the hell, stop dragging me into your dramatic-ass confrontations,” Lara whined.
“You hurt her feelings and you should apologize,” Morgan said flatly. “You’re welcome to be skeptical of me; you’re right, we barely know each other. But what you say and what you think matters to your mother. She asked me to come today because she loves you, she trusts you, and she wants you to be a part of this facet of her life.”
“You don’t know the first thing about me, or my relationship with my mother.”
“Maybe,” Morgan replied, the restrained rage causing a band of pain to wrap around her skull. “But I know what it’s like to lose a parent. I know the hurt and the pain and the regret, the loss of stability. I carry it with me every day. Sometimes, it makes me so, so angry. It makes me angry with her for leaving, for changing my life without my consent. For putting me into situations I never should’ve been in. Like the one you’re in now, having to reconcile the fact that someone besides your father is in love with your mother. I know that dissonance. But. Being with me is your mother’s decision, and you at least owe her the dignity of respecting that decision, even if you disagree.”
Moving across the room silently, Mei arrived at Morgan’s side and placed a steadying hand on the small of her back. Defiantly, she waited for Grace to say anything in response. The hard, angry look in Grace’s eyes waned. Now shame crept in, and perhaps even a speck of understanding. Still, it would not be that easy.
“I chose my words poorly,” Grace said slowly. “I’m sorry, Mom. I should not have disrespected you or your relationship. I am happy you’ve found someone who loves you and makes you happy. But I…I don’t think I’m ready to accept this as a reality yet. And that’s not your fault or Morgan’s. I encouraged you to date, but I didn’t consider if I was ready to accept it or not. I need more time.”
“Apology accepted,” Mei replied in a soft voice. “Wàipó can be unintentionally insensitive, and you should know better than to let her get under your skin.”
“Yeah, and you say I’m the sensitive one,” Lara cut in, wiping tears from her cheeks. Grace tilted her head. “I’m not crying because of Wàipó, I’m crying because I’m so happy someone upbraided you right in front of me. It’s a Christmas miracle.”
“You’re impossible. Where are my children?”
“Mateo took them to the basement to play with their toys when he caught the vibes coming from in here,” Lara explained.
Grace sighed, rubbing the crease on her forehead. “I’m going to talk to them.”
Once Grace exited down the stairs, Morgan turned to Mei. “I think I should go.”
Regret and discouragement fleetingly crossed Mei’s face, but she nodded in understanding. “Okay. I’ll get your coat.”
Head pounding, Morgan knelt down next to Jui-Yu and tapped her on the knee. Big, dark brown eyes blinked at her and crinkled at the edges. “It was great to meet you, Mrs. Lin. Thank you for letting me come to your family’s Christmas. It meant a lot to me.” Jui-Yu smiled but didn’t say a word. Morgan strode to the door, jamming her feet into her boots. She spared a glance toward Lara. “So, that went okay, right?”
Lara laughed, tipping back her beer. “Grace is a mean drunk.”
“I’m sorry she embarrassed you. I met enough of my mom’s ‘boyfriends’ to understand where she’s coming from, but there was no reason to call you out.”
“Oh, trust me, that had nothing to do with you.” Lara gave a dismissive wave. “That’s been Grace our whole lives.”
Morgan grimaced in sympathy. “Yikes. I always envied people with sisters and brothers, but having siblings sounds like a lot of work.”
“It has its ups and downs. Grace isn’t so bad, but she misses Daddy. And for a second there, everyone liked you more than they like her, and that is against the rules,” she ribbed.
“Thanks,” Morgan said, scratching the back of her neck. “I appreciate you trying to come to my rescue. I’m sure this isn’t easy for you both.”
“Are you kidding? This is the easiest thing ever. My mom is happy. Do you know how long it’s been since she was genuinely happy? Years, even before Daddy died. What’s not easy is seeing she snagged a unicorn in the lesbian dating community. But of course she would, because she doesn’t settle for anything less than the brass ring.”
Morgan scoffed. “Trust me, that’s not true. I’m batting way out of my league with Mei.”
“Ugh, stop it. You can either be humble or attractive, but not both. I only have so much resistance to your whole thing here and I’m already several beers deep,” Lara said. “Look, she talks to us more. She sees us more. She calls me just to ask how I’m doing. I thought she was getting laid on the reg, but now I see it’s not only that. I mean, it’s clearly a little bit that because, sweet Sappho, look at you!”
Snorting in amusement, Morgan blushed. “She doesn’t have the easiest time connecting with or sharing her emotions, but it’s always been clear to me she loves you both so much.”
“And she loves you. The way she looks at you…god, Morgan, I’ve never seen her look that way before. So, for what it’s worth, you have my support. And Wàipó is apparently ready to make you her special dumplings, and that’s the equivalent of putting you in the will.”
Mei approached them from behind, handing Morgan her long wool coat and hand-sewn beanie, snatching her own coat from the hanger next to the door. “Thanks, Lara. I’m glad we got to truly meet this time.”
“Me too, Detective Dimples.”
Chuckling, Morgan buttoned her coat. “It’s lieutenant now.”
Lara paused. “All the nicknames coming to me will scandalize my mother. As much as I do love that, I will refrain in the spirit of Christmas. Good night, Morgan.”
“I’ll walk you out.” Looping her arm through Morgan’s, Mei led them out into the chilly winter’s night. An unimpeded darkness stretched from the heavy gray clouds to the shiny black asphalt, shrouding Grace’s tranquil side street. Next to Morgan’s car, Mei pulled her in. “I’m so sorry about that.”
“There’s no need to apologize.”
“Yes, there is,” Mei replied sternly. “I brought you here because I—well, you know why. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but I didn’t expect my mother’s acceptance of you to trigger my daughter. That is literally the last thing I thought would happen.”
“It’s all right. If there’s anything I understand, it’s a kid being protective of their parent. But hey, they met me, right? They got to know me a little and hopefully saw how much I care for you, and that’s the best takeaway. It’s only fair we let them deal with the rest themselves.” Mei smoothed the collar of Morgan’s jacket before pulling her down and into a kiss. By now, Morgan figured out the nuances to Mei’s kisses, growing confident translating their intent. This one ached with affection. As they broke apart, Morgan’s gaze drew upward, flinching into the snowfall. “Wow, that really is our thing now, isn’t it? Oh! Speaking of.”
From her passenger seat, Morgan retrieved a green-and-red plaid box tied with a red satin bow and handed it to Mei with a big grin. Mei took it, admiring the handiwork of the neat ribbon. “I thought we said we’d exchange gifts this weekend.”
“We will,” Morgan said. “I didn’t want to wait for this one. Full disclosure: Reyna tied the ribbon and picked out the box. They both came with me to get the gift because neither trusted me to wrap it myself.”
