The Valkyrie's Shadow, page 33
Stay. Talk to me now.
Mariam left the hay room, leaving an ache in Sigrid’s heart like nothing she’d experienced.
Forget what I said, and forget the battle.
She couldn’t, of course. Mariam’s job as a valkyrie was more important than Sigrid’s feelings.
Sigrid wiped an arm across her burning eyes.
Not important.
With Yggdrasil in this state, her feelings were an afterthought, a tangent, something she could maybe resolve when this was all over.
If they were lucky enough to survive this war.
Chapter Fifty-Nine
Moments Alone
After tersely letting Aunt Kaia know the Svartalf King had escaped and the junior valkyries were on wall duty, Sigrid retreated to her chambers and locked the door.
A chill settled over her as she paced the chambers. How many would agree with the queen’s conquest? The god of chaos was everywhere, bleeding through every world and all of the people in them. Loki could be acting from within Vanahalla, too, encouraging the people in these walls to be selfish, seek power, and wage wars on lower worlds—giving her aunt all the supporters she needed to carry out her vision.
The urge to take Hestur and Sleipnir and spend the night in the tree fort sounded great, but this wasn’t the moment to raise her aunt’s guard with a midnight escape. She had to get through the night like normal.
It wasn’t like Aunt Kaia would hurt her. Sigrid was the only person in the nine worlds with the power to bring Helena out of Helheim.
Reassuring as that was, her plan to oppose the queen left her jittery. She sat on the edge of her bed, a prickle of cold sweat under her tunic.
This is reckless. The last thing we need is a civil war on top of everything else.
She shook loose her braid and worked her fingers through the waves, frustration growing each time she hit a knot.
Was this all a horrible idea?
No, this was about saving the valkyries from a dangerous conquest and providing the lower realms with equal protection. For this, she would fight until her last breath.
Besides, Vala told Sigrid she had just as much of a say in the fate of Vanaheim. The firstborn’s firstborn. She had no desire to challenge Aunt Kaia for the throne, but if her aunt wasn’t the right leader for their world, maybe it was time for someone new.
I’m doing what’s best for Vanaheim—and for all of Yggdrasil.
The window rattled, and Sigrid jumped to her feet. A shadow moved on the other side. She summoned her spear from the corner of her room, ready to use it.
Wait. Her chambers were several stories up. Night Elves wouldn’t be able to get this high. Which meant…
A flash of white wings caught her eye.
Sigrid dropped her spear, raced to the window, and flung it open.
Mariam hovered on Aesa’s back, smiling, the feathered tip of the mare’s wing brushing the window ledge. “Can I come in?”
Sigrid’s heart jumped into her throat. “Of—of course.”
Mariam backed Aesa against the window and crawled over her rump to Sigrid, who extended a hand to help her climb in.
As Aesa flew away, her wings silent, Sigrid shut the window.
“Hi.” Mariam had put dark makeup around her eyes and combed her hair, which fluttered over her shoulders like silk. In the room’s candlelight, she looked more beautiful than ever.
“Hi.” Sigrid’s throat ran dry. Mariam. Is here. In my bed chambers.
“Now that we have a minute…” Mariam’s lips quirked into a little smile that accentuated the perfect apples of her cheeks. “I don’t care who’s in your family tree, Sigrid Helenadottir.”
Sigrid could have melted into the floor. “You don’t?”
Mariam shook her head.
A surge of victory hit her, like while riding across the meadow to find the Svartalf King—but better. Much better.
Sinking into the lure of Mariam’s dark eyes, Sigrid stepped closer. “So…”
Why is Mariam here? asked the most naive part of her.
You know why, said another.
Nerves hadn’t made her tremble this much since she was about to ride alone into Svartalfheim. But that ride hadn’t given her this underlying excitement. Her insides swooped with anticipation, a joy like nothing else.
Mariam closed the remaining distance, tucking a lock of hair behind Sigrid’s ear. “So… Nothing has ever been ours before. Neither of us has had a proper home, a normal upbringing, an easy life that has space for someone else in it.”
Her breath brushed lightly over Sigrid’s lips, more tantalizing than any of the extravagant desserts this royal hall had to offer.
“Or time,” Sigrid whispered, “or moments alone.”
She caught Mariam’s hand, their fingers entwining.
“That’s why I thought, maybe, we could have this one night.” Mariam’s head tilted, the candlelight glinting in her dark eyes as she scanned the room. “Nice chambers, Princess.”
Sigrid’s breath caught as their lips brushed. “It gets a little lonely.”
Their lips met in a kiss so gentle, so teasing, that she couldn’t help a moan escaping.
The noise seemed to ignite a fire in Mariam. She put a hand on Sigrid’s neck and pulled her closer.
Sigrid shivered, lifting her hands to tangle in Mariam’s hair. They moved against each other, their breaths coming faster. Warm fingers trailed down Sigrid’s arms, around her waist, to the hem of her tunic.
There was no one to interrupt or stop them, so she grasped Mariam’s hands and brought them underneath, against her bare skin.
The movement was bold and automatic, something instinctive taking over and guiding her—but unlike whatever came over her in battle, this bloomed from a place of joy instead of anger, adoration instead of hatred. She wanted to give Mariam every bit of happiness and pleasure the worlds had to offer.
Mariam’s breath hitched, the noise sending a rush of heat through Sigrid’s middle. She kissed harder, and Mariam reacted by pressing closer, her hands tracing over her skin.
Sigrid trembled from exhilaration and nerves as Mariam’s fingers roamed over her body, softly but confidently. She tugged Mariam’s tunic upward, asking a silent question. Mariam responded by pausing to pull it over her head and toss it aside. Her white chest band was knotted in the middle, drawing Sigrid’s gaze down, following the lines in her toned midsection.
Then Mariam was on her, pushing her back. She fell on the bed with a soft laugh and the weight of Mariam on top of her, a dizzying thrill racing through her head.
“Are you okay?” Mariam whispered, glancing to the bruise on her collarbone.
Sigrid hummed. “I’m great.”
Mariam kissed her neck, rocking against her, their bodies moving in an intoxicating rhythm.
Pinned beneath her, Sigrid explored the smooth curves and dips of Mariam’s body with her free hands.
“Sigrid…” Her breath tickled Sigrid’s lips.
This made up for everything—all of the waiting, all of the missed opportunities. They had a room to themselves, the nicest room in all of Vanaheim, and it was theirs for as long as they wanted. Nobody was there to hear them or interrupt them, freeing them to get lost in each other.
Everything outside of her quarters disappeared from Sigrid’s mind, as her entire focus centered on Mariam’s body and the way it pressed against hers. Their breaths became the only sound in this world. Sweat dampened their skin, and bedsheets tangled at their feet as pillows fell to the floor.
Something in Mariam’s eyes changed, softening.
“Are you happy in Vanaheim?” Sigrid whispered into her lips, a desperate wish that tightened her throat.
“I’m happy with you, wherever we are,” Mariam said before kissing her deeply.
The night dissolved into sensations beyond anything Sigrid had ever known. And when the sun began to rise and they drifted off, too exhausted for anything but sleep, she forced her mind to stay in the moment, in this bed, with this girl, because dwelling on what might happen in the coming days was too much to bear.
Chapter Sixty
Over Pancakes
Sigrid startled awake at the loud banging on the door of her chambers. The sky outside was still dark.
“Sigrid! Open up, quick!”
Mariam sat up beside her with a gasp, her dark eyes wide with surprise.
Sigrid paused before throwing the blankets off, distracted by the sight of Mariam beside her. “Uhh…”
Another frantic knock.
“Sigrid!”
Mariam blinked. “Is that—”
“Tóra.” What could the Seer want at this hour?
Sigrid pulled her tunic back on hastily—her skin tingled, a reminder of Mariam’s touch—and ran to open the door a sliver. She peeked through to find Tóra’s pale, panic-stricken face. “What happened?”
“Queen Kaia’s seen what yer planning. She’s rallying the reserve valkyries.”
Sigrid gripped the door frame. “Seen? Like, in the Eye? Wait, did she see me succeeding?”
“I don’t know exactly… She demanded that Vala bring the Eye to her last night, and it must’ve shown a vision. She was furious. I guess she saw me with ye because she shouted at me to tell her what I knew. I didn’t, of course,” she added quickly. “Vala supported me. It’s not our place to meddle. It’s better for a Seer to withdraw than to share too much and do harm.”
Anger sparked inside Sigrid—toward her aunt, and even toward the Eye for showing Aunt Kaia what she was up to. Were there no secrets around here?
“Is Mariam with ye?” Tóra tried to lean around her to see.
Nope, no secrets.
Sigrid sighed. “Yes. She is.”
“She needs to fly down and tell the juniors before the other valkyries get to them.”
“Thank you, Tóra. Please stay safe.”
After the Seer ran off, Sigrid closed the door, her heart pounding.
She had to find Aunt Kaia before she did anything drastic, like unleash the reserve valkyries on her.
Mariam was already dressed and opening the window. “Aesa!”
“I’ll talk to her. It’ll be okay,” Sigrid said, not sure if she believed it.
“Come with me?” Mariam put one leg out the window. “You can sit behind me on Aesa. We can get the juniors first. Might be better than facing your aunt alone.”
Sigrid shook her head. “She’ll get defensive. I need to talk this through with her on my own. She has to understand what we have to gain by making a treaty.”
Mariam held her gaze, looking like she wanted to say more.
Sigrid raced across the room and grabbed her for one more kiss. “Wish we could stay here forever.”
Mariam smiled against her lips. “Me too.”
They kissed for the time it took Aesa to back up beneath the window, Sigrid’s heart so full it ached, and then Mariam jumped out and flew away.
With the sun preparing to rise, the land was shadowy blue. Patches of singed grass flecked the hillside, as if balls of fire had fallen from the sky. The world was eerily still and quiet, the air damp against Sigrid’s cheeks.
The Svartalf King wouldn’t wait long to attack again. And she had to stop her aunt before that happened.
Sigrid got dressed and braided her hair, nerves making her fingers fumble. She sheathed her spear across her back. There was no need to set the reserve valkyries on the juniors. They could talk about what needed to be done without resorting to violence.
As she speed-walked down the corridor, a door swung open, and she nearly crashed into the cleaning staff exiting with a cart.
“Oh—sorry!” the man said, looking mortified at nearly running down the princess.
Sigrid skirted around the cart—and the inside of the room caught her eye. It was bright, open, everything sky blue and yellow. Sigrid paused, searching her memory, an unpleasant sensation coiling inside her.
This suite used to be your mother’s, Aunt Kaia had said when she gave Sigrid a tour.
In Sigrid’s imagination, Princess Helena’s old room had a blanket of dust over everything and cobwebs connecting all of the furniture. But this room was spotless, bright, and smelled like a garden.
Aunt Kaia was obviously making it ready for her sister, even though Sigrid had already refused to get her.
The man closed the door gently behind him, casting Sigrid a quizzical look.
Was it odd that Princess Helena’s chambers had stayed intact for seventeen years while King Óleifr’s had been vacated right after his death to make room for Sigrid?
A thought tingled at the back of her brain—a truth that had maybe been lingering there for some time.
Pulse beating in her throat, she crossed the entrance hall, dread building inside her like a boiling kettle. Mariam was right. It was better not to meet with her aunt alone. She switched directions and headed toward the royal stable, ready to make a break for it—when wood-soled shoes clicked behind her.
Aunt Kaia stepped out of the dining hall looking more energetic than she had in days. Her large eyes glinted, her posture straight and sure. She wore her sky-blue robe with the boar’s head near the collar, dark hair falling loose around her shoulders, the amber crown glinting on her head.
“Aren’t you joining me for pancakes?” Aunt Kaia motioned behind her with a smile that was too calm.
Sigrid didn’t move. Should she play along as if she didn’t know that Aunt Kaia found out about her plan?
She won’t kill me. I’m the only possible way to get her sister out of Helheim.
Squaring her shoulders, she summoned courage. Vanaheim needed her to protect its land and people, and right now, the queen striving to launch a deadly conquest was as much a threat as the Svartalf King. If she couldn’t make her aunt see sense, she had to stop her.
Sigrid strode back toward the dining room. “Yes, sorry. My mind was on the battle.” She slipped past Aunt Kaia, a chill on the back of her neck, and took her usual seat at the table.
Aunt Kaia shut the door.
That’s different. The door usually stayed open while they ate.
Aunt Kaia sat across the table, her smile failing to reach her eyes. “What’s on your mind, Sigrid?”
The waitstaff came to load their plates with pancakes.
Sigrid had no intention of eating, and apparently, neither did Aunt Kaia. They stared at each other across the absurdly large table while steam rose from their plates.
She cleared her throat. “I hoped to convince you to change your mind about sending the valkyries to invade Svartalfheim. I’ve spoken to the Svartalf King, and I think we should be trying to reach a peaceful understanding with the other worlds instead of asserting our dominance.”
Aunt Kaia let her shoulders drop with an exaggerated sigh. “Sigrid, we’ve talked about this. We’re opening ourselves to invasions if we show weakness and shake everyone’s hands.”
“The valkyries are supposed to protect all worlds, not just those we declare worthy.”
“A mistaken point of view that led us to this position.”
“No, our failure to protect Svartalfheim led us to this position,” Sigrid countered, her voice rising. “If we’d treated them with the same kindness and respect as we treat all the other worlds, they wouldn’t hate us.”
So much for staying calm.
Aunt Kaia tilted her head and quirked her lips, like she was watching a kitten take its first steps. “That’s a sweet thought, love. If only the worlds worked that way.”
“Aunt Kaia, we have the opportunity to form an alliance with Svartalfheim. If we promise to serve them the same way we serve the upper worlds, the Svartalf King will back off. I’m sure of it. It’s all they want, to be treated equally.”
The queen smiled. “When we get Helena, you can present this idea to her.”
Sigrid ground her teeth. There was no making her understand. She’d already made up her mind. “I will never bring my mother back from Helheim. And I won’t stand by your side if you want to launch a conquest.”
Aunt Kaia’s expression flickered. She sighed. “Sigrid, are you going to let my brother’s death go to waste? What’s the point of him being gone if we aren’t going to take advantage of it?”
They stared at each other for a long moment. The smell of pancakes filled the room, while dawn brightened the sky and songbirds chirped beyond the window. The waitstaff lingered at the back of the room, seeming afraid to breathe.
The lingering truth took shape, and into the stalemate silence, Sigrid asked, “What illness did King Óleifr die from?”
Color rose in Aunt Kaia’s pale cheeks, and she blinked rapidly, breaking Sigrid’s gaze for a fraction of time.
The reaction told Sigrid everything.
Icy dread filled her, chilling her bones, as she and Aunt Kaia stared at each other across the table, the lie unraveling between them.
Chapter Sixty-One
King Óleifr’s Legacy
“Did—” Sigrid swallowed hard, struggling to get the words out. “Did you do it so you could put your sister on the throne?”
Aunt Kaia covered her mouth with a trembling hand, taking several deep breaths. She stayed like that for a moment, steadying herself, before pulling her hand down and making a fist on the table. “I always believed Lena would return. We used to talk about making her queen someday, before she disappeared. When that army attacked from Helheim and stole the Eye of Hnitbjorg, I knew it was her doing. She was going to come back. So…”
Silence stretched between them.
Sweat glistened on Aunt Kaia’s face. “With him gone, the throne would fall to my sister. He was the only thing in the way.”
