Back from the Shadowlands, page 22
Making a final effort to save his marriage before it was dissolved would please the king. What did he have to lose? Nothing but time. What did he have to gain? Continued royal favor. Watching perfectly cooked salmon fillets in a delicate green sauce set before him, Thor knew he would go to Drummond once he tied up loose ends here. The only thing he didn’t know was what he would do when he got there.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Staring at the towering keep before him, the only familiarity Thor felt was a vague awareness he had been here in another life. He’d likely passed Drummond regularly on his rounds for years. Perhaps he’d gone inside a few times. That wouldn’t be unusual. He’d been invited by their lord to enter many different castles over the years conducting the king’s business.
He’d also brought many of those same lords to their knees by entering uninvited. That wasn’t the case here. Drummond had never rebelled against her king. He knew all that from reading through the royal records hoping to understand happenings he didn’t recall. Gazing at the sprawling edifice, he felt a sense of steadfast continuity as he contemplated the massive defensive walls before him. What he didn’t feel was a sense of home.
Dismissing the sentiment, Thor motioned for his party to follow as he urged Wotan towards the massive gates of the exterior walls. Patting the beast, he was grateful to ride his favorite mount again. Like Avenger, he’d left the destrier behind when he’d joined that last skirmish. He’d been urged to ride a different mount and wield another sword. By following that advice he still had the legendary sword and his beloved mount to show for it.
While he didn’t recall who’d dared suggest such a thing, he suspected their identity. If it was his wife, he was grateful to her. He was equally pleased both were returned to him when Alexandria visited the royal keep for the first time. Besides the fact they were his, she’d hoped the familiar objects would restore his memory. While he’d remembered his sword and his horse he didn’t remember her.
Hailing the giant standing on the curtain wall, Thor watched the massive gates slowly open to allow him entrance. Riding into the bailey, he slid from Wotan’s back. Ignoring his men, he studied the buildings around him. While he knew Drummond had fallen to the MacLarens, there were no visible reminders of the event. Whoever had overseen the repairs had done an excellent job.
As for doubting if he’d ever lived here, that was impossible to deny. Thor saw his mark on recent improvements made to the buildings and walls surrounding him. As much as the idea unsettled him, there were too many signs that he did consider this place home to be ignored. He would never invest the coin to make a keep near impregnable if he didn’t. He wasn’t a wasteful man. Or one given to extravagant displays of wealth and power. He had no need. Not when his name struck terror in the hearts of many.
Whatever his previous thoughts, he now knew he would be a fool to walk away from this place sight unseen. While it was true that he had more lands and titles than he needed, this keep was his crowning glory. He knew this deep in his bones. Everything he saw around him validated that impression.
Walking the grounds he noted the location of the stables, the dovecote, the beekeeping skeps, the extensive flower and herb gardens, the wells, the barracks, and the forge just as he’d noticed the remnants of an earlier motte and bailey tower rotting without the walls in passing. Glancing around him, he suspected other courtyards were woven around the buildings and a large training ground lay hidden somewhere deep within. He would discover each of their locations after he completed more pressing business. He refused to inhabit a place he didn’t know like the back of his hand.
“Does Zan know you were coming?” Ignoring the giant, Thor didn’t dignify his question with a response. “I thought not.” Lionel turned to walk towards the keep. “I’ll let her know you’re here.”
“Don’t.” Thor shook his head. “I’ll let her know when I’m ready.”
“Fair enough.” Lionel nodded. “I’ll get your men settled.”
Snorting lightly at the expected silence, Lionel watched Thor head towards the entrance of the keep. He would be insulted if he didn’t know the other warrior was a man of few words. The subtle nod he’d barely caught was thanks enough. While his lord’s arrival today was unannounced, it wasn’t entirely unexpected. Everyone knew it was only a matter of time before the king forced the Wolf’s hand. Whether he walked away or chose to stay was the only mystery.
While the answer wasn’t yet clear, Lionel suspected the Wolf would do the latter. Walking over to the mounted warriors, Lionel watched Thor’s second-in-command dismount. Motioning for a stable hand, he spoke quietly to the fair-haired warrior before leaving him in Mac’s capable hands. While the men were getting their mounts settled, he would alert Bertie to the fact they had a dozen new mouths to feed. As usual, the cook would take the news in stride. She was always prepared for such occurrences.
THOR TOOK THE STAIRS two at a time after stopping to ask a passing servant where he would find her lady. While he didn’t recognize the woman, she recognized him and welcomed him home. She then informed him that her lady was in the master’s solar going through the clothes trunks as the morrow was laundry day.
Following the woman’s directions, he found himself standing in front of a cracked door. His wife either expected someone or wanted to be available to her people if she was needed. That was as it should be. It was also something Rosalynd never was. Pushing against the handle, Thor wasn’t surprised the door didn’t squeak on the hinges.
From what he could see, everything around him was orderly and well-maintained. Entering the room, he studied the woman with her back to him before silently locking the door behind him. Walking up to wrap his arms around her middle, the gesture felt eerily right like he had done it hundreds of times before.
Turning slightly, Alexandria started at the feel of a large hand covering her belly as she was pulled against a masculine chest. Relaxing, she closed her eyes seeking to regain her composure. She would know that touch anywhere. While unexpected, the feel of his body against hers was not unwelcome. Expressing a breath, she wasn’t sure she could say what needed to be said.
“Are you home to stay?” The words were shaky. “Or is this a brief stop on your imaginary rounds before you return to Ruthven and your mistress?”
“You know my rounds are done.” Thor owned his lie. “As for returning to Ruthven, that remains to be seen.”
“I see.” Alexandria turned to face him. “Then why are you here?”
“To learn why I broke my oath and surrendered my freedom,” Thor admitted. “I would not have done so for titles and land.”
Or for a keep as fine as the one around him.
“No, you wouldn’t.” Alexandria agreed. “I could tell you, but you won’t believe me.” He would laugh in her face instead. “Besides, we both know the true reason you are here. My godfather issued you an ultimatum. Stop hurting me and attempt to rebuild our lives. Otherwise, our marriage will be dissolved and my properties and titles revoked.”
When that happened, she would be free to move on with her life. Alexandria wasn’t sure how she felt about that. Too much had happened too fast. Added to that, if she couldn’t have Thor, she couldn’t envision herself with anyone but Lionel and he was already taken.
She knew what was whispered behind their backs: that his lady wife wasn’t long for this world. She believed differently. Ever the fighter, she would do everything she could to ensure Reina lived a long and prosperous life. She might consider giving Lionel what he always wanted if she proved wrong, but until then the man was off limits.
“That is true.” Thor agreed. “It is also true that I am curious about the life I had.”
And why everyone claimed he was a contented man.
“What of your mistress?” Alexandria continued to stare him down. “Is she still at Ruthven?”
“We have parted ways.” It still rankled he’d discovered the mouse dallying with a rat while the cat was away. “I returned early from visiting the king to discover Rosalynd cavorting in my bed with a visiting noble. One who shouldn’t have been in my home, much less my bed, while I was away.”
“I see.” He didn’t need to say his mistress had summoned her lover when the truth was painfully obvious. “I hope you changed the sheets.”
A sharp bark of laughter was his only response.
“We agreed there would be no others when she moved to Ruthven.” While never explicitly stated, it was strongly implied that he would seek to end his marriage if things went well between them. “When Rosalynd broke faith with that promise, I ended our relationship and sent her home.”
Fortunately, the letter he’d sent with Nicholas had been positively received and the bag of coins had gone a long way in soothing Ailred’s injured pride as he’d known it would. While he could squash de Rouen like a bug, he wanted no trouble with the man. A feckless daughter wasn’t worth breaching a worthy alliance. That wasn’t in his best interest long term. From the letter he’d received in return, de Rouen felt much the same.
It didn’t hurt that being his lover played in Rosalynd’s favor. Two days after her return a high-ranking noble asked for her hand. That he was older, wealthy, and willing to indulge his young bride’s every whim was a dream come true for father and daughter. The last he’d heard; Rosie was soon to be wed. He wished her every happiness.
“What of you?” Her tone was skeptical. “Did you break faith with your leman?”
“What do you think?” The quirked brow was intimidating, but she expected nothing less. She’d poked the wolf’s honor. It was foolish to think he wouldn’t snarl and snap. The Golden Wolf was nothing if not an honorable man. Or he had been. “Did I break faith with the fair Rosalynd?”
“No, I don’t think you did.” She answered honestly. “Not as you have broken faith with me.”
“Aye, I have.” Thor agreed. “More than once, but I don’t believe your husband would have. However, we both know I am not him.”
“Yes, we do.” Alexandria agreed. “Nor do I think you ever will be.”
“I suspect you are right.” Thor agreed. “Perhaps I can be a better man.”
“That is doubtful.” Alexandria shook her head. “The Golden Wolf was bested by no man.”
Thor rolled his eyes. “I believe the scars on my face and body prove otherwise.”
“They speak of treachery and dishonor.” Alexandria corrected. “The Golden Wolf ambushed no one as your captors did. He didn’t have to. His word was his bond. If he made a promise, he kept it. If he declared your house would fall to his sword, your house fell.”
“As your house has fallen.” Thor watched her backstep. “More than once.”
“Yes.” Alexandria didn’t feign ignorance. “As my house has fallen.”
“Perhaps we can rebuild what was.” He wasn’t sure what he was offering. “Or perhaps we can start anew.”
“Perhaps.” So much had happened in the months since she’d learned he was alive. Painful, humiliating things that weren’t easily forgiven or forgotten. “I don’t know how we can, or where to start.”
“We start with you telling me how our life began.” There was much he didn’t know. “You have told me what happened between us that night. You have shown me the pleasures we can find in each other. What you haven’t shared is how we got from there to here. Though I have heard many whispers, none seem plausible to my ears.”
“I see.” Alexandria walked out on her balcony unsurprised when he followed. “These implausible whispers claim what? That I had you kidnapped from your leman’s bed?”
“That I have not heard.” He would have laughed the bearer of such tales into eternity. “However, I have heard that you bewitched me with your womanly wiles and your warrior ways.”
“Really?” Alexandria made a rude sound. “Then again, that isn’t entirely wrong either.”
It was Thor’s turn to make a rude noise. “Something tells me it is not entirely right either.”
“It isn’t.” Alexandria agreed. “While it was a close-kept secret, you were kidnapped from your leman’s bed and spirited to Drummond on my orders.”
“The hell you say.” That wasn’t possible. “Who was this leman, and why would she betray me?”
The bigger question was how. He let down his guard around no one. Not even the women sharing his bed.
“You don’t remember?” While she knew he had no memories of their life together, she never believed he could forget Joanna or the havoc she wrought in their lives. “She was your mistress for several years before we met.”
“Be that as it may, I do not know the woman.” Closing his eyes, he vaguely recalled tinkling laughter, a pliant body, and a sweetly pretty face. “Joanna.”
“You remember her.” That was one less thing she had to explain.
“No.” Thor shook his head. “I recall only the name and a laughing brown-haired woman. Nothing more.”
In truth, Aimee had mentioned Joanna the Weaver and their son. However, he’d never been told that he was taken from her bed. This was a tale he’d yet to hear. As far as he was concerned, that mistress could have been anyone until Joanna popped into his mind instead.
“I see.” Alexandria shook her head. “Then I will tell you what I know.” And what he’d shared of his life before Drummond. “Whatever you have heard, we had a good marriage despite your restlessness. We often talked much as we’re doing now.” Usually pillow talk, but he didn’t need to know that now. “According to you, you had a favored tavern in Stirling where the innkeeper catered to your physical comforts and his daughter to your carnal needs. Joanna was a lovely, ambitious woman a few years older than me. When she caught your eye, she ended her betrothal with the local miller to become your mistress.”
One of two at the time if she counted his friendship with Aimee FitzAlan. Again, Thor didn’t need to know that either. Truthfully, he probably already did.
“I don’t know how, or when, my father learned of your relationship. I do know my brother Crinan saw the two of you together in the tavern. He told my father what he’d seen and they worked out a desperate plan.”
Thor listened intently not sure he believed a word she said.
“My brothers watched Joanna for a while. It didn’t take long to learn her ambitions went far beyond running a tavern. When she was ripe for the picking, my father offered to fulfill her dreams in exchange for you. While Joanna never refused the offer or betrayed my family, she never said yes either. I believe she was waiting for you to make a better one.”
“My vow never to wed again was no secret.” Thor looked over the moors. “If she didn’t know, I am sure I was honest to tell her from the start.”
He always was. Even were he not, she knew he would never marry a tavern drudge. He was of noble blood and the Sheriff of Lothian. She was not.
“She did.” Alexandria agreed. “But she hoped her loyalty would change your mind.”
“Then she was a fool.” Thor shook his head. “Sometimes I think all women are fools.”
“Perhaps.” Alexandria didn’t disagree. “As men can be fools as well.”
“I won’t disagree.” Thor nodded. “I assume I never made that offer.”
“You did, just not the offer she wanted.” Alexandria contemplated going back inside when she felt a heavy woolen mantle descend around her shoulders. “Thank you.” She glanced at her husband out of the corner of her eye. “You gave Joanna the coveted shop on the corner along with everything she needed to become a successful weaver and merchant instead. What you didn’t give her was your name.”
“I see.” The pieces were fitting together in ways he didn’t anticipate. “Then you took advantage of her broken heart.
“Perhaps.” Alexandria laughed softly. “Although I believe Joanna was more scheming than brokenhearted. She never hid her desires. From anyone. She was quite proud to share them with me as I’m sure she shared them with you.”
“I’ll take your word for it.” Everything she said was a fresh revelation to him. “I don’t remember any of these events.”
“I know.” Alexandria closed her eyes against the pain of knowing if he didn’t remember Joanna, he didn’t remember her as well. “That’s why I’m repeating a story better left unsaid.”
“You think I would harm you for what you have done?” While he didn’t remember this woman, she was still his wife. He would never physically harm his lady. Even if he hurt her in other ways. “Since it appears I forgave you for your sins, harming you now is foolish.”
“You mean considering who my father is.” Alexandria cut to the chase confident the king had finally shared his darkest secret with his most trusted servant. Thor wouldn’t be here now if he hadn’t. “Oh, yes, I know the truth although he doesn’t know I do. I’d like to keep it that way. Ian was my father in every way that mattered, and it serves no purpose for his people to think less of their king because he loved my mother.”
“Did she feel the same?” Thor asked what he didn’t know. “Your mother?”
“She did.” Alexandria nodded. “But she loved my father, too.”
In truth, she was torn between two men she loved equally in different ways. The king was the lover she couldn’t have, and her father was the lover always by her side. While she didn’t condone what her mother and godfather did, she understood they were star-crossed from the moment they set eyes on each other. To expect them never to fall in all the years they were thrown together was unrealistic. That they had only fallen twice was a miracle.
“So what of us?” Feeling her shiver beneath his mantle, Thor firmly ushered Alexandria back inside. “If Joanna wouldn’t cooperate with your father, how did you win her trust?”
“I struck when the iron was hot,” Alexandria reluctantly admitted. “And played on injured pride and greed.”
