From Heiress to Mom, page 5
In defiance, her mind reminded her how attracted she was to that grumpiness. A combination of reticence and shyness struggling with the assertiveness he needed as a CEO of a company worth billions. The grumpiness made her want to strangle him and coddle him and—
She almost threw her hands up in frustration. Maybe she should jump him and get it over with. Maybe that would finally sate the heat. But she knew there was no sating this...this need. She’d spent two satisfactory years proving that.
‘Are you okay?’ Hunter asked, his eyes on her face.
It burned, and she turned, embarrassed. Logically, she knew he couldn’t see into her head. He couldn’t know she was thinking about pulling him into the bedroom when the mother of his child—and his child—were minutes away.
‘Autumn?’
‘I’m fine,’ she said brightly, turning back. ‘Sorry.’ She pressed her hands to her cheeks. ‘I think I drank the wine too quickly.’
He studied her, his lips parting as if he wanted to say something, but the bell rang and distracted him. Thank you, she told the universe, even as her stomach rolled with nerves. She nodded at him, and he went to open the door as she smoothed down the front of her dress.
Seconds later, she grabbed the wine bottle and her wine glass and put them on the counter behind a wall separating part of the kitchen from the rest of it. She didn’t want Grace to see she’d been drinking. The last thing she wanted was for Grace to realise how comfortable she was at Hunter’s place. It would create an insider versus outsider impression Autumn wanted to avoid.
Although, to be honest, Autumn wasn’t entirely sure which side she fell on.
Taking a deep breath, she rested a hand on her stomach as though somehow it would help still the dancing men there. It didn’t. In fact, it didn’t even encourage the air she’d breathed in to move to where the fluttering was.
She closed her eyes, cursed silently. Then she straightened her shoulders and moved back to the main part of the kitchen.
Hunter and Grace were already in the living room, front door closed. On the floor was a car seat that had, for the moment, no sound coming from it. Embarrassed that she’d taken so long to steady herself, she moved forward, her eyes stuck on Grace.
She was beautiful. Shorter than Autumn, her hair in a long, straight ponytail that fell to the middle of her back. Her features were dark; though they were tight now. Unhappy. When Grace saw Autumn, her spine straightened. Autumn understood. She wasn’t feeling particularly at ease herself.
‘Hi,’ Autumn said, moving forward and offering a hand. ‘I’m Autumn Bishop.’
‘Grace Tatum,’ the woman said, taking Autumn’s hand.
The grip was hot, a little sweaty, and Grace grimaced. Autumn shook her head slightly, as if to say, Never mind. Grace’s face eased somewhat.
‘It’s nice to meet you,’ Grace continued, before dropping her hand. ‘I’m sorry...these are the circumstances.’
‘Oh,’ Autumn said with a frown. ‘You don’t have to be.’
Grace’s eyes slipped to Hunter’s, then back to Autumn. ‘You’re not upset?’
‘About what?’
Grace’s brow knitted. ‘Did Hunter tell you why I’m here? Or who I am?’
‘Of course I did.’ Hunter spoke for the first time. ‘I wouldn’t have asked her to join me if I hadn’t been honest.’
Autumn sent Hunter a look, hoping it conveyed her message: Calm down. Grace wasn’t questioning his integrity, which was what Hunter’s defensive reaction implied. She was...curious. Uncertain. Hunter angled his head, as if understanding. She almost sighed out loud.
This is why you shouldn’t have called me a close friend.
‘I know who you are, Grace,’ Autumn said. ‘But I think you’re under the wrong impression about who I am.’ Her mouth curved, even as her stomach tightened in anxiety. ‘Hunter and I are friends. Only friends.’
* * *
All the muscles in Hunter’s body tightened. ‘I told you that,’ he said again.
Autumn gave him another look, but a strong desire for Grace to know he hadn’t been lying about his and Autumn’s relationship spurred his words. For reasons he’d rather not question, he wanted Autumn to know, too.
‘I know,’ Grace said softly. ‘But I didn’t know whether I should believe you. People aren’t always honest about these things.’
‘I am,’ Hunter said firmly.
Autumn shook her head, as if she’d given up on him. ‘It’s true,’ she said, ‘he is. He’s also a tad defensive, as you can tell.’
Grace smiled, her grip on the straps of the handbag she wore across her body tightening, then loosening.
‘We’re really only friends though,’ Autumn said again. Again, Hunter felt something loop in his stomach. Why did her insistence about the nature of their relationship bother him so much? ‘And if you’re not comfortable with me being here, I’ll leave.’
Hunter fought to keep the panic he felt from appearing on his face. Or taking a hold of his tongue. His expression remained blanked, hopefully. He kept quiet.
‘Oh, no, that’s not necessary,’ Grace said. ‘I...wish I had support.’ Her eyes lowered to the car seat. Hunter hadn’t been able to look down yet.
‘You don’t have anyone?’ Autumn asked.
‘None who were willing to help me with this,’ Grace said with a faint smile. ‘Hell of a thing to figure out when visiting those people got me into this situation.’
There was an awkward pause.
‘You don’t have any family?’ Autumn asked softly.
Grace’s face tightened. She stood a little taller. ‘My parents died when I was younger. I have no siblings, and no extended family that would help.’ Her eyes met Autumn’s. ‘Satisfied?’
‘Of course,’ Autumn said with a shake of her head. ‘I didn’t mean to imply... I’m sorry.’
Grace deflated. ‘No,’ she said after a beat. ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have reacted like that.’ She took a breath. ‘It’s just that... This has been harder than I expected. I thought I could—’ She broke off. Another beat passed before she straightened her shoulders. ‘I was starting my second year of articles when I found out I was pregnant. I worked for as long as I could, and I got maternity leave, but it’s unpaid, and my savings have run out.’
‘I can help,’ Hunter said. His voice sounded harsh in his ears.
‘No, thank you,’ Grace said primly. ‘It would only be a temporary fix anyway. I have to finish my articles before I can start working, and I’ve had an offer at a law firm here.’ Her hands tightened on the strap of her bag again. ‘If I want to provide for Eli—and I do—I need to do this. The sooner, the better.’ She hesitated. ‘I want to do it now, before he grows up to realise being irresponsible got me here. I’m trying to counteract the irresponsible with the responsible.’ Grace looked at him and winced. ‘Sorry.’
He shrugged. He agreed with her assessment.
‘Look, I know what you’re thinking. What kind of mother would—’
‘We’re not,’ Autumn interrupted.
Grace’s expression softened. ‘Thank you.’ She ran a hand down her ponytail, before bringing the hair to rest over her shoulder. ‘I want my son to believe I did everything I could to give him a good life. If it means being away from him for three months, then so be it. I’ll do whatever I have to to give him his best life.’
‘And you trust me to take care of him?’ Hunter asked, unable to resist.
It had been a question that had plagued him since even before Autumn had brought it up. Since Grace had asked him to take care of Eli, in fact. He’d seen Janie’s face in Eli’s, and his mind had been inundated with memories and emotions. The question—though not the reasons for it—had been the only clear thing.
‘In all honesty?’ Grace asked. ‘Yes. I know how that makes me look. But...but if I want to teach Eli to judge people fairly, then I can’t mummy-shame mothers. Even if that mother is me.’ She paused. ‘My instincts tell me I can trust you. I’ve done a fair amount of research about you—I’ve watched videos and seen pictures—and you seem like a decent person. So do you,’ Grace added, addressing Autumn. Autumn simply nodded.
Grace turned her attention back to Hunter.
‘The little I can remember about our night together makes me think it’s okay to trust you. Besides, he’s your son, too, and you know me just as well as I know you. If I want you to trust me, I figure that has to go both ways.’
‘Then there’s something you should know,’ Hunter forced himself to say. He felt Autumn shift closer to him. It helped him speak, despite the swelling that suddenly seemed to surround his vocal cords. ‘There’s a chance Eli might be sick.’
Grace’s expression went blank.
CHAPTER SIX
THE MEN IN Autumn’s stomach were still there. Their dancing had turned into something less wild now, more choreographed, their steps hammering in sync against her chest bone at the tension in the room. She took another step closer to Hunter.
‘I’m a carrier of the cystic fibrosis gene.’ Hunter’s voice sounded detached. Autumn supposed it was the only way he could get himself through it. ‘My... My sister had the disease.’
‘Had?’
Autumn felt the muscles in Hunter’s body coil. ‘She passed away.’
‘What?’ Grace’s face was stricken. ‘Are you telling me my son could die?’
‘No,’ Autumn answered when Hunter didn’t say anything. ‘No,’ she said again for good measure. ‘Hunter’s only a carrier of the gene.’
‘What the hell does that mean?’
‘For Eli to be sick,’ Autumn continued after a quick glance at Hunter’s face told her he wouldn’t be replying, ‘you have to be a carrier, too. Are you?’
‘Of cystic fibrosis?’ Grace shook her head. ‘I don’t know. My parents weren’t sick. I... I don’t know if there are other family members who have it.’ She sucked in her lip. ‘I should ask. I should—’
‘Grace,’ Autumn interrupted the spiral. ‘You know that you’re not sick, right?’ she asked. Grace nodded. ‘So even if you are a carrier, Eli only has a twenty-five per cent chance of having this disease.’
‘But...but what if he is sick?’ Grace’s eyes widened; her voice dropped. ‘What if I didn’t notice?’
‘This isn’t your fault,’ Autumn said firmly. She took a breath. ‘It’s not either of your faults.’ She waited a beat. ‘It might not even be something we have to worry about. We should make sure of that first.’
‘How?’ Grace asked.
It seemed that Hunter had lost his voice. Autumn almost sighed.
‘Babies aren’t automatically tested for CF here when they’re born, but we can request a test. We’ll do that as soon as possible. We’ll make an appointment.’
‘My flight to Johannesburg is in three hours,’ Grace whispered. ‘I don’t have the money to change it. I start work tomorrow morning,’ she added more urgently.
Autumn glanced over at Hunter again, but he was still staring straight ahead, as if to escape the conversation.
‘We can do this without you.’ Autumn deliberately softened her voice. ‘We’ll keep in touch every step of the way. Trust, right?’ she said, when Grace didn’t reply.
Grace nodded slowly. ‘Okay.’ Her chest heaved. ‘I can’t do everything by myself.’ That part was muttered. ‘This is what we have to do. Co-parent. Share the responsibilities. Yeah?’
She gave a brave smile. When Hunter didn’t say anything, Autumn nudged him. He blinked, rapidly, his gaze meeting Grace’s.
‘Of course.’ He cleared his throat. ‘We’ll figure this out.’
‘Okay.’ Her gaze lowered to the car seat, then up to Hunter. ‘Would you like to meet your son?’
Hunter nodded.
* * *
He’d watched a sci-fi movie once, where the lead character had been sucked into a different dimension. She walked and walked, but the dimension was nothingness. She refused to give up. She walked until her feet bled. Until she was dying of exertion and dehydration; still, she walked. And eventually, when she felt she couldn’t go on, she found a door that had led home.
Seeing Eli for the first time was strangely like that.
Hunter felt as if he were in a different dimension. The insides of his body felt as though they were inflating, growing and growing, and soon his skin wouldn’t be able to contain them. The air in his lungs seemed like too much, and perhaps that was what was causing his insides to inflate.
But Hunter kept looking at the little boy in Grace’s arms.
Everything he’d been worried about faded to the background. Back to earth, he thought distractedly, while he was walking in this different dimension. As he took in Eli’s features—the dark mass of hair, the small, puckered mouth—and saw his sister in them, he knew nothing would ever matter as much as this.
He’d felt the same way about Janie, he thought, blinking, mortified that tears heated his eyes.
Despite the overwhelming swell of emotion, he knew he would walk and walk and walk until his feet bled and he was dying if it meant walking to Eli. Thinking about everything he’d been through in his life, perhaps he already had.
‘Hi,’ Grace said softly. She shifted Eli in her arms so that he was facing Hunter. So that he was watching Hunter with the brown eyes that came from his family. ‘Say hi to your dad, Eli.’
The baby didn’t make a sound, just kept watching Hunter. Hunter couldn’t resist his smile. The kid was already like him, realising talking wasn’t as important as observing. Warmth sparked in his chest.
‘Do you want to hold him?’
Hunter automatically took a step back before he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked to his side, saw Autumn standing there. The hesitancy melted away.
‘Yes. Please,’ he said. ‘How do I...?’
‘Just support his neck like this.’
Grace showed him, speaking in soothing tones, though he didn’t know whether that was for his benefit or Eli’s. She seemed to have recovered from her earlier shock, or maybe he was witnessing her resilience when it came to parenting their son. Sensing the latter was true, Hunter’s respect for her grew.
He thought no more of it when his son was successfully transferred to his arms.
Eli was so small. That was Hunter’s first thought. He felt like a lumbering giant holding the little guy. He was sure he looked it, too. But it didn’t matter that much to him. As long as Eli was safe and comfortable, Hunter didn’t care whether he looked like a novice or a fool.
His second thought was that Eli was perfect. He didn’t count Eli’s fingers or toes; didn’t know if he was sick or not. But he was perfect. And for the rest of his life, Hunter would make sure his son knew it.
His third thought...
He’d already turned to Autumn before he’d fully realised it. He lowered his forearm, where Eli’s body was resting, showing him to Autumn.
‘Did you see him?’
Her cheeks lifted in a small smile. ‘I did. I do.’
‘He’s perfect.’
The smile widened. ‘He is.’
‘Do you want to hold him?’ He turned to Grace, belatedly realising he shouldn’t simply make those kinds of decisions. ‘Can she?’
‘Of course,’ Grace said, lifting a hand.
Hunter looked back at Autumn. ‘Do you?’
Autumn’s eyes flicked from Grace to him. She pursed her lips, then relaxed them, and smiled at him again. ‘I’d love to.’
He handed Eli over to her, imitating what Grace had done. Autumn accepted Eli easily, shifting as soon as she had a hold on him to get one more comfortably. Hunter stepped back, watching. Smiling. She already looked a million times more comfortable than he had, he was sure. She moved gently, back and forth, lifting a hand and taking Eli’s hand with her thumb and index finger.
‘It’s very nice to meet you, Eli,’ she said softly, still moving. ‘My name is Autumn. I’m your dad’s friend.’ She shook Eli’s hand. Hunter’s heart swelled. ‘I suppose that makes me your aunt. Not a real one,’ she clarified, ‘one of those weird ones who call themselves aunts but have no real relation.’
She looked at Grace. ‘He’s beautiful. Congratulations.’
Graced smiled. For the first time, it was completely genuine. ‘Thank you.’
‘You, too, Daddy,’ Autumn said, looking at him now, too. ‘Good work.’
Hunter didn’t know how to feel. He supposed meeting Eli had something to do with it. He was overwhelmed. Emotions he hadn’t felt in years had exploded inside him. A fierce protectiveness. A willingness to sacrifice anything to make Eli’s life easier. He hadn’t felt either of those things since Janie’s death. Remembering them had a peculiar effect on his heart.
Except...
That wasn’t entirely true, and perhaps that was what had put him off. He’d felt those same feelings with Autumn. They were somehow different at the same time, but just as fierce. And as terrifying.
It took seeing her hold his son to realise he’d been scared when he’d realised what she wanted from their relationship. They were completely normal things to want: spending a life together, having a family. Hell, he wanted them—with her. But he hadn’t been able to risk it. Because risking it meant the possibility of...of losing it, too.
He wouldn’t be able to handle that. Not again.
‘Can I explain his schedule to you?’ Grace asked.
Hunter blinked. Slowly nodded.
‘I’ve written it all down, but basically...’
She told him about Eli’s feeding and sleep schedule, explaining it with the book she’d written it down in. Hunter listened attentively, relieved to have something other than his thoughts to focus on.
