His Princess by Christmas, page 12
Amari only had herself.
She had only had herself, for the longest time. And though he wanted to protect her, he wasn’t a part of her life. Not in the way that would allow for that to happen. Sure, he was protecting her now, but that was temporary. As soon as things blew over, she would go back home and he would be here, ruling a kingdom.
Suddenly, his plan to kiss her seemed like the stupidest thing.
‘Maybe we should head back to the palace,’ he said as he followed her. They were almost at the end of the bridge and the moment they got there, she would discover his idiocy.
‘Do we have to? I’d love to see what’s on the other side.’
‘Well, we should probably get ready for dinner,’ he hedged. ‘Perhaps we should go back and see if May and Matilda are fine.’
She gave him a strange look. ‘Are you fine?’
‘Yes. Yes, of course.’
‘I only ask because dinner’s in an hour. I checked when I took May up for a nap. And unless they called you, which I don’t think they did, since you still sound relatively calm—’
She broke off when she got to the end of the bridge.
He barely resisted his sigh.
CHAPTER TWELVE
AMARI KNEW IT was magical. She would be a fool not to see it. They were at a palace at Christmas. At almost every direction, she was reminded that royalty did Christmas differently from what she’d grown accustomed to. The magnitude of the decorations, the number of lights, the height of the Christmas trees. The slides, the elves, the letters to Father Christmas.
There was also the fact that she felt as if she had been placed in a fairy tale. The palace was what she expected to find in those fairy tales. The garden looked as if it had been designed with royalty in mind. And the prince... Well, the prince was every bit as delicious as she imagined those animated princes would be if they were real.
And then there was this.
There was a pathway from where she stood down until she couldn’t see any more. Greenery exploded around them; flowers and leaves reached through wooden arches above them. It seemed as if those arches had been built to keep nature from collapsing on them, and it was beautiful. On either side of the path at regular intervals were wooden benches. Some held gold plaques on them, others had engravings directly on the wood.
If there weren’t a small table right in front of them with a bottle of champagne chilling, she would have asked Kade about those plaques and engravings. But there was a bottle of champagne chilling. And there was music playing softly through hidden speakers.
She turned to him. ‘Did you do this for me?’
He sighed. ‘Would you believe me if I said no?’
‘Yes, actually. Your reaction doesn’t seem like someone who’s done this.’
‘You’re right. I did do this.’ He stared at the table as if it had challenged him to a duel. When he looked at her, his expression was tight. ‘I wanted to seduce you into kissing me.’
Her heart hammered against her chest. It had been beating faster from the moment she’d reached the end of the bridge, but this couldn’t simply be described as ‘beating faster’.
She took an unsteady breath. ‘You’ve...changed your mind?’
‘Logic has returned to my mind,’ he corrected. He took the champagne from the bucket and poured them both a glass. She took the one he offered, but only held it as he downed his.
‘I don’t know what I was thinking,’ he admitted. ‘Kissing you...would complicate matters even more. We haven’t spoken about the last time we kissed, and I have no idea what you think about it. All I know is that it upended your life. And then I go do this.’ He gestured wildly. ‘As if I didn’t know that. As if I don’t understand that you need to protect yourself and your daughter. As if I didn’t want to help protect you.’
‘Kade—’
‘You deserve more than this life,’ he interrupted. ‘You deserve your freedom. You deserve—’
‘Is that mistletoe?’ she asked, when the wind rustled the leaves and something fell to the ground.
Kade let out another sigh. ‘Yes.’
‘You were planning on seducing me with champagne and mistletoe?’
‘Yes.’
She was oddly impressed. ‘It’s on the floor now though.’
‘I can see that,’ he answered, his expression pained.
She let it sit for a second, then asked, ‘Why? What happened that made you want to seduce me with champagne and mistletoe?’
‘You went head to head with my mother.’
‘And that...made you want to kiss me?’ She grimaced. ‘I understand that we both have issues with our mothers, Kade, but I’ll be honest with you—that particular one isn’t something I’d like to engage with.’
He gave a quiet laugh. ‘No, although that’s disgusting and I’m offended you’d say it. No, I meant... You were fierce and strong and honest when you spoke with her. I’ve seen many other people who’ve chosen to sacrifice those characteristics with her.’
‘Well, she is a queen. Perhaps I was foolish for being myself.’
‘You could never be foolish for being yourself,’ he chided gently. ‘And she respects you now because of it.’
‘Yeah...well... I suppose...that’s fine.’
She put her free hand on her hip, because she had no idea what to do with it. He was flustering her with his compliments. With this entire scene. Yes, there were the champagne and the mistletoe and the garden and the fact that he’d orchestrated the romance and the magic. But it was also his sincerity, the way he looked at her as if he were truly proud of her for being her grumpy old self. It was the way he made her body tingle by simply looking at her. And the way she knew he could make that tingle turn into smoke and fire when he kissed her.
‘It’s a bad idea,’ she said, and not for the first time when it came to him. ‘To kiss you. It’s a bad idea.’
‘But you’re looking at me like that,’ he said, his voice deepening as he took in the change on her face.
‘And I put down my glass. I’m coming closer.’
‘You are.’
‘It’s the mistletoe,’ she said, stopping in front of him. ‘We don’t generally do the mistletoe thing where I’m from, but it doesn’t seem like a good thing to ignore. What if I become cursed?’
‘It’s a possibility.’
‘Hmm.’
She ran a finger over his forehead, down his cheek. She brushed his lips with her thumb, feeling the soft heat of his breath when his lips parted. She touched his neck, the veins that ran there. She pressed her hands lightly to his chest, scraping her nails over his nipples. Her fingers pressed against the ridge of his abs, before hooking into the front of his trousers.
‘You feel good,’ she whispered.
He smiled. ‘There’s more to feel.’
She laughed. ‘I’m sure there is. How about we just start here though?’
She leaned in until she was inches from his lips.
‘I’m happy with that,’ he replied, and closed the gap.
The first time he’d kissed her, she had been distracted by the sensations. They had been overwhelming. The taste of him mixed with the wine she’d drunk. The feel of the muscles hard against her body. The heat of his mouth, the expertise of his tongue. All of it had been too much at one time and she’d felt as if she had been sinking beneath the ocean beside them, clinging to him as though he were the only source of air.
This was different. Oh, the sensations were still there. He tasted like champagne now, and of him. Seduction on a Sunday morning. Touches beneath the covers before they were fully awake. He felt warm and hard. A body that could pick her up and toss her over his shoulder. Or press her against a wall and have his way with her without losing a breath. His tongue still tortured her. It slipped over hers, coaxing her to open her mouth wider, to allow him deeper.
Desire flooded her body, touched her breasts, hardened her nipples. It caressed her skin, making every hair stand on end. It teased between her thighs, urging her to press into him, to allow him to soothe and torment at the same time.
But still, it was different.
Perhaps because she felt more present now. The taste, the feeling of him, of her desire, of his, were all there, as if at the tips of her fingers. Power mingled with lust as she tested her presence of mind. As she pulled her mouth from his to press a kiss to his neck, to open her mouth and taste his skin. She grabbed hold of his shirt, tugging until it came free of his trousers, and let her hands feel the heat of his body. She smiled at the tremble, the curse when she brushed her thumbs over his nipples. And she kissed him again as she undid the buttons of his shirt, as she moaned her approval when he helped her.
‘Let me see you,’ she whispered against his mouth, and with a moan of his own, he stepped back.
She pursed her lips as she took him in. The brown skin that covered muscle, that contained his strength. She didn’t care much about a man’s body. She thought about it much as she thought of hers. If it allowed her the life she wanted to live, she was pleased with it. But she couldn’t deny that this was...enjoyable.
‘You look like a prince,’ she told him. ‘One from a book that couldn’t possibly exist.’
‘I’m not sure that was a compliment, but I’ll say thank you nevertheless.’
‘You’re such a gentleman.’
‘No, I’m not.’
He proved the words by closing the distance between them and picking her up. Her legs automatically went around his waist, then adjusted when he lowered them to one of the benches.
‘The garden isn’t open to the public today, is it?’
‘Of course not,’ he told her. ‘Do you think I would allow this if there was a chance someone else would see us? I’ve taken precautions.’
‘That’s an odd way to phrase it, considering I only plan on kissing you this evening.’
‘Oh, no, I didn’t mean—’ He broke off when she started laughing. ‘You’ll pay for that.’
‘Really? How do you...?’
She trailed off when he kissed her neck.
‘I know you meant that as a punishment,’ she said, angling to give him better access, ‘but it’s really not as bad as you think.’
‘Stop talking,’ he said now, and kissed her.
She fell into it. Into the intimacy of having his tongue tangle with hers. Into the familiarity of it despite that they’d only kissed once before. His hands dug into the flesh at her hips, gripping the fullness, before they moved. She felt the trail along her skin though he didn’t have access to it because of her dress. She could only imagine what it would be like if he did have access to her skin. She might have become that trail; a mere path for the pleasure of Kade’s hands. She was strangely okay with that.
Slowly, he touched her breasts, testing the fullness of them in his palms. She arched almost without realising. When she did realise, she couldn’t bring herself to be upset by it. Here, in the magical garden, she had no shame about her body feeling good. Here, in the magical garden, it was only her and Kade.
She chose to ignore when her mind pointed out that they wouldn’t stay in the garden for ever. Instead, she merely focused on his touch.
It was the easiest thing to do.
* * *
Something had changed.
It wasn’t that they’d made out in the garden he’d spent his childhood running around. Because obviously, that had changed things. Not only between them, but inside him. He couldn’t describe how different he felt now that he’d kissed her for more than a few minutes. He didn’t know what it meant that the feel of her body in his hands, the taste of her skin against his tongue, felt revelatory.
None of that even touched on how it changed things between them. They’d shared private smiles and quiet laughs as they’d righted their clothing after. They’d held hands on their way back to the palace. Amari had insisted on going back to her room alone, which he thought was for the best. She had to focus on May once she got there, and that should be her priority. She didn’t need him distracting her with stolen kisses on their way. He didn’t want to distract her by pushing her into one of the many dark corners of his home and kissing her all over again.
Yes, it was best that she go to her room by herself.
But now the changes were settling around him in a much less pleasant way. His plan to deal with what had happened in Swell Valley was simple. He’d written a letter to the press explaining that he had taken a short break from duties after a busy year. Because of that short length, they hadn’t thought it would be necessary to announce it, as he would be back before any Christmas engagements. While he was there, he’d met a woman he liked and happened to share a kiss with. At this time, he would prefer not to delve into any more than that, especially as the incident had already been a breach of privacy and caused upheaval in both his and the woman’s life. He appreciated any respect afforded to this request.
The royal communications team had approved the letter, as had his mother, and though, technically, nothing in the letter was incorrect, it felt disingenuous. Amari wasn’t simply ‘a woman he liked’. He cared about her. Deeply. That kiss had been a culmination of that. Their kisses today had been an expression of more than attraction. At least for him.
He wanted her at his side when they made the announcement about him being King. His mother wanted to postpone it until after Christmas. She felt that the incident with Amari would cast doubt over his abilities to rule. He didn’t agree. At first, he’d thought it was because announcing it now would distract from people’s interest in his private life. That would mean Amari could go home, live her life, and move on. Now he wondered if all along it was because he wanted her support. She was the only person he could speak honestly to. He hadn’t realised how much he needed that until now.
But that posed another concern. Was he confusing the fact that she was the first person he could talk to with feelings for her? It was feasible. Especially if he threw in the attraction he felt for her. But perhaps that was what relationships were. Feeling a connection with someone he was attracted to. Heaven knew it hadn’t ever happened to him before. So maybe he was—
That was what relationships were.
It was a huge step to go from making out with someone to being in a relationship with them. He didn’t have to jump to that. He didn’t have to have it all figured out.
And that might have been true if he weren’t about to become King.
If he were a normal person with normal responsibilities, figuring out whether he wanted to have a relationship with someone would be far simpler. But he wasn’t. He’d kissed someone and it had made the front page of every newspaper in the kingdom. How could he explore his feelings, his relationship, in that? Especially when the news that he would be King would intensify the scrutiny he was under?
All of it swirled in his head as he went to dinner that evening. He tried to shake it off, but the looks Amari kept shooting him told him he wasn’t quite succeeding. But she didn’t get a chance to call him out on it. May had joined them for dinner, and apparently her time in the Christmas station had made the newness of the palace easier to digest. While she wasn’t overly chatty—he doubted she was the kind of child who would be—she did say enough to make both Winifred and Deacon laugh in fondness.
He had never thought about his parents’ desires for grandchildren. They’d never expressed it, nor had they ever said anything about wanting him to marry. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t realised that until now. How hadn’t he realised it until now? He considered his mother’s disappointment in him from every angle except this one. Surely she must have wanted him to marry? To have children and continue the line of succession?
But she hadn’t said a word about it. And he...he hadn’t even thought that she might want him to. Now that he did, he thought she might want him to marry the right person. Someone who could help him rule. Someone who knew the realities of royal life and could raise a child to be aware of those realities, too.
It was another reason Amari wouldn’t be right for him. For the family. She hadn’t even known he or his kingdom existed before he’d arrived in Swell Valley. She didn’t understand royalty and its responsibilities. She was a divorced single mother. Her child was not his child. If he pursued a relationship with her, he couldn’t imagine his mother approving of any of these facts. He couldn’t imagine the public approving any of these facts.
Did he care?
He wanted to be brave and say no. But he had failed too many times in the past to make such a naïve assertion. Things were becoming way too real with Amari. He was falling for her. He’d caught himself before he was too far gone, but that was over now.
He needed boundaries. And he would have to set them up.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
AMARI DIDN’T GIVE men a chance to blow hot and cold. She didn’t give men a chance at all. She had kept her focus on raising May and running her store ever since things had broken up between her and Hank. No man had interfered with that focus until Kade. And now, he seemed to be the kind of man who blew hot and cold.
He hadn’t shown up at her door to guide her down to breakfast that morning. Matilda had. But the woman didn’t join her for breakfast, nor did Kade, so she ended up eating with her daughter and the King and Queen of the Kingdom of Daria.
It wasn’t awkward, thankfully. Things had settled between tea and dinner the night before. They had settled even more so at the dinner itself. That was the nice thing about being a parent. Rarely did anyone feel so bent out of shape about something that they ignored a kid. Throw in a cute kid—and May was the cutest—and tension barely existed at all.
