“Now, now,” he said, growing smaller and stiffening as my gaze groped its way through the murk of his central nervous system and finally touched upon the edges of that tiny tumor, his forebrain. “You’re well-known, and……”

  I replaced my glasses and hunched over my drink, looking far gone, as one of the three approached and said, “Pardon me, but are you Jack Summers?”

  To explain the silence which followed, Henry said, “Yes, this is Mad Jack, the man who climbed Everest at twenty-three and every other pile of rocks worth mentioning since that time. At thirty-one, he became the only man to conquer the highest in the known universe—Mount Kasla on Litan—elevation 89,941 feet. My book…”

  “Yes,” said the reporter. “My name is Cary, and I’m with GP. My friends represent two of the other syndicates. We’ve heard that you are going to climb the Gray Sister.”

  “You’ve heard incorrectly,” I said.

  “Oh?”

  The other two came up and stood beside him.

  “We thought that—” one of them began.

  “—you were already organizing a climbing party,” said the other.

  ’Then you’re not going to climb the Sister?” asked Cary, while one of the two looked over my pictures and the other got ready to take some of his own.

  “Stop that!” I said, raising a hand at the photographer. “Bright lights hurt my eyes!”

  “Sorry. I’ll use the infra,” he said, and he started fooling with his camera.

  Cary repeated the question.

  “All I said was that you’ve heard incorrectly,” I told him. “I didn’t say I was and I didn’t say I wasn’t. I haven’t made up my mind.”

  ‘If you should decide to try it, have you any idea when it will be?”

  “Sorry, I can’t answer that.”

  Henry took the three of them over to the bar and started explaining something, with gestures. I heard the words “…out of retirement after four years,” and when/if they looked to the booth again, I was gone.

  I had retired, to the street which was full of dusk, and I walked it thinking. I trod her shadow even then, Linda. And the Gray Sister beckoned and forbade with her single unmoving gesture. I watched her, so far away, yet still so large, a piece of midnight at eight o’clock. The hours that lay between died like the distance at her feet, and I knew that she would follow me wherever I went, even into sleep. Especially into sleep.

  So I knew, at that moment. The days that followed were a game I enjoyed playing. Fake indecision is delicious when people want you to do something. I looked at her then, my last and my largest, my very own Koshtra Pivrarcha, and I felt that I was bom to stand upon her summit. Then I could retire, probably remarry, cultivate my mind, not worry about getting out of shape, and do all the square things I didn’t do before, the lack of which had cost me a wife and a home, back when I had gone to Kasla, elevation 89,941 feet, four and a half years ago, in the days of my glory. I regarded my Gray Sister across the eight o’clock world, and she was dark and noble and still and waiting, as she had always been.

  II

  The following morning I sent the messages. Out across the light-years like cosmic carrier pigeons they went. They winged their ways to some persons I hadn’t seen in years and to others who had seen me off at Luna Station. Each said, in its own way, “If you want in on the biggest climb of them all, come to Diesel. The Gray Sister eats Kaslas for breakfast. R.S.V.P. c/o The Lodge, Georgetown. Whitey.”

  Backward, turn backward…

  I didn’t tell Henry. Nothing at all. What I had done and where I was going, for a time, were my business only, for that same time. I checked out well before sunrise and left him a message at the desk:

  “Out of town on business. Back in a week. Hold the fort. Mad Jack.”

  I had to gauge the lower slopes, tug the hem of the lady’s skirt, so to speak, before I introduced her to my friends. They say only a madman climbs alone, but they call me what they call me for a reason.

  From my pix, the northern face had looked promising.

  I set the rented flier down as near as I could, locked it up, shouldered my pack and started walking.

  Mountains rising to my right and to my left, mountains at my back, all dark as sin now in the predawn light of a white, white day. Ahead of me, not a mountain, but an almost gentle slope which kept rising and rising and rising. Bright stars above me and cold wind past me as I walked. Straight up, though, no stars, just black. I wondered for the thousandth time what a mountain weighed. I always wonder that as I approach one. No clouds in sight. No noises but my boot sounds on the turf and the small gravel. My goggles flopped around my neck. My hands were moist within my gloves. On Diesel, the pack and I together probably weighed about the same as me alone on Earth—for which I was duly grateful. My breath burned as it came and steamed as it went. I counted a thousand steps and looked back, and I couldn’t see the flier. I counted a thousand more and then looked up to watch some stars go out. About an hour after that, I had to put on my goggles. By then I could see where I was headed. And by then the wind seemed stronger.

  She was so big that the eye couldn’t take all of her in at once. I moved my head from side to side, leaning further and further backward. Wherever the top, it was too high. For an instant, I was seized by a crazy acrophobic notion that I was looking down rather than up, and the soles of my feet and the palms of my hands tingled, like an ape’s must when, releasing one high branch to seize another, he discovers that there isn’t another.

  I went on for two more hours and stopped for a light meal. This was hiking, not climbing. As I ate, I wondered what could have caused a formation like the Gray Sister. There were some ten and twelve-mile peals within sixty miles of the place, and a fifteen-mile mountain called Burke’s Peak on the adjacent continent, but nothing else like the Sister. The lesser gravitation? Her composition? I couldn’t say. I wondered what Doc and Kelly and Mallardi would say when they saw her.

  I don’t define them, though. I only climb them.

  I looked up again, and a few clouds were brushing against her now. From the photos I had taken, she might be an easy ascent for a good ten or twelve miles. Like a big hill. There were certainly enough alternate routes. In fact, I thought she just might be a pushover. Feeling heartened, I repacked my utensils and proceeded. It was going to be a good day, I could tell.

  And it was. I got off the slope and onto something like a trail by late afternoon. Daylight lasts about nine hours on Diesel, and I spent most of it moving. The trail was so good that I kept on for several hours after sundown and made considerable height. I was beginning to use my respiration equipment by then, and the heating unit in my suit was turned on.

  The stars were big, brilliant flowers, the way was easy, the night was my friend. I came upon a broad, flat piece and made my camp under an overhang.

  There I slept, and I dreamt of snowy women with breasts like the Alps, pinked by the morning sun; and they sang to me like the wind and laughed, had eyes of ice prismatic. They fled through a field of clouds.

  The following day I made a lot more height. The “trail” began to narrow, and it ran out in places, but it was easy to reach for the sky until another one occurred. So far, it had all been good rock. It was still tapering as it heightened, and balance was no problem. I did a lot of plain old walking. I ran up one long zigzag and hit it up a wide chimney almost as fast as Santa Claus comes down one. The winds were strong. They could be a problem if the going got difficult. I was on the respirator full-time and feeling great.

  I could see for an enormous distance now. There were mountains and mountains, all below me like desert dunes. The sun beat halos of heat about their peaks. In the east, I saw Lake Emerick, dark and shiny as the toe of a boot. I wound my way about a jutting crag and came upon a giants staircase, going up for at least a thousand feet. I mounted it. At its top I hit my first real barrier: a fairly smooth, almost perpendicular face rising for about eighty-five feet.

  No way around it, so I went up. It took me a good hour, and there was a ridge at the top leading to more easy climbing. By then, though, the clouds attacked me.

  Even though the going was easy, I was slowed by the fog. I wanted to outclimb it and still have some daylight left, so I decided to postpone eating.

  But the clouds kept coming. I made another thousand feet, and they were still about me. Somewhere below me, I heard thunder. The fog was easy on my eyes, though, so I kept pushing.

  Then I tried a chimney, the top of which I could barely discern, because it looked a lot shorter than a jagged crescent to its left. This was a mistake.

  The rate of condensation was greater than “I’d guessed. The walls were slippery. I’m stubborn, though, and I fought with skidding boots and moist back until I was about a third of the way up, I thought, and winded.

  I realized then what I had done. What I had thought was the top wasn’t. I went another fifteen feet and wished I hadn’t. The fog began to boil about me, and I suddenly felt drenched. I was afraid to go down and I was afraid to go up, and I couldn’t stay where I was forever.

  Whenever you hear a person say that he inched along, do not accuse him of a fuzzy choice of verbs. Give him the benefit of the doubt and your sympathy.

  I inched my way, blind, up an unknown length of slippery chimney. If my hair hadn’t already been white when I entered at the bottom…

  Finally, I got above the fog. Finally, I saw a piece of that bright and nasty sky, which I decided to forgive for the moment. I aimed at it and arrived on target.

  When I emerged, I saw a little ledge about ten feet above me. I climbed to it and stretched out. My muscles were a bit shaky, and I made them go liquid. I took a drink of water, ate a couple of chocolate bars, took another drink.

  After perhaps ten minutes, I stood up. I could no longer see the ground. Just the soft, white cottony top of a kindly old storm. I looked up.

  It was amazing. She was still topless. And save for a couple spots, such as the last—which had been the fault of my own stupid overconfidence—it had almost been as easy as climbing stairs.

  Now the going appeared to be somewhat rougher, This was what I had really come to test.

  I swung my pick and continued.

  All the following day I climbed, steadily, taking no unnecessary risks, resting periodically, drawing maps, taking wide-angle photos. The ascent eased in two spots that afternoon, and I made a quick seven thousand feet. Higher now than Everest, and still going, I. Now, though, there were places where I crawled and places where I used ropes, and there were places where I braced myself and used my pneumatic pistol to blast a toehold. (No, in case you’re wondering: I could have broken my eardrums, some ribs, an arm and doubtless ultimately, my neck, if I’d tried using the gun in the chimney.)

  Just near sunset, I came upon a high, easy winding way up and up and up. I debated with my more discreet self. I’d left the message that I’d be gone a week. This was the end of the third day. I wanted to make as much height as possible and start back down on the fifth day. If I followed the rocky route above me as far as it would take me I’d probably break forty thousand feet. Then, depending, I might have a halfway chance of hitting near the ten-mile mark before I had to turn back. Then I’d be able to get a much better picture of what lay above.

  My more discreet self lost, three to nothing, and Mad Jack went on.

  The stars were so big and blazing I was afraid they’d bite. The wind was no problem. There wasn’t any at that height. I had to keep stepping up the temperature controls on my suit, and I had the feeling that if I could spit around my respirator, it would freeze before it hit the trail.

  I went on even further than I’d intended, and I broke forty-two thousand that night.

  I found a resting place, stretched out, killed my hand beacon.

  It was an odd dream that came to me.

  It was all cherry fires and stood like a man, only bigger, on the slope above me. It stood in an impossible position, so I knew I had to be dreaming. Something from the other end of my life stirred, however, and I was convinced for a bitter moment that it was the Angel of Judgment. Only, in its right hand it seemed to hold a sword of fires rather than a trumpet. It had been standing there forever, the top of its blade pointed toward my breast. I could see the stars through it. It seemed to speak.

  It said: “Go back.”

  I couldn’t answer, though, for my tongue clove to the roof of my mouth. And it said it again, and yet a third time: “Go back”

  “Tomorrow,” I thought, in my dream, and this seemed to satisfy it. For it died down and ceased, and the blackness rolled about me.

  The following day, I climbed as I hadn’t climbed in years. By late lunchtime I’d hit forty-eight thousand feet The cloud cover down below had broken. I could see what lay beneath me once more. The ground was a dark and light patchwork. Above, the stars didn’t go away.

  The going was rough, but I was feeling fine. I knew I couldn’t make ten miles, because I could see that the way was pretty much the same for quite a distance, before it got even worse. My good spirits stayed, and they continued to rise as I did.

  When it attacked, it came on with a speed and fury that I was only barely able to match.

  The voice from my dream rang in my head: “Go back! Go back! Go back!”

  Then it came toward me from out of the sky. A bird the size of a condor.

  Only it wasn’t really a bird.

  It was a bird-shaped thing.

  It was all fire and static, and as it flashed toward me I barely had time to brace my back against stone and heft my climbing pick in my right hand, ready.

  III

  I sat in the small, dark room and watched the spinning, colored lights. Ultrasonics were tickling my skull. I tried to relax and give the man some Alpha rhythms. Somewhere a receiver was receiving, a computer was computing and a recorder was recording.

  It lasted perhaps twenty minutes.

  When it was all over and they called me out, the doctor collared me. I beat him to the draw, though: “Give me the tape and send me the bill in care of Henry Lanning at the Lodge.”

  “I want to discuss the reading,” he said.

  “I have my own brainwave expert coming. Just give me the tape.”

  “Have you undergone any sort of traumatic experience recently?”

  “You tell me. Is it indicated?”

  “Well, yes and no,” he said.

  “That’s what I like, a straight answer.”

  “I don’t know what is normal for you, in the first place,” he replied.

  “Is there any indication of brain damage?”

  “I don’t read it that way. If you’d tell me what happened, and why you’re suddenly concerned about your brainwaves, perhaps I’d be in a better position to…”

  “Cut,” I said. “Just give me the tape and bill me.” “I’m concerned about you as a patient.”

  “But you don’t think there were any pathological indications?”

  “Not exactly. But tell me this, if you will: have you had an epileptic seizure recently?”

  “Not to my knowledge. Why?”

  “You displayed a pattern similar to a residual subrhythm common in some forms of epilepsy for several days subsequent to a seizure.”

  “Could a bump on the head cause that pattern?”

  “It’s highly unlikely.”

  “What else could cause it?”

  “Electrical shock, optical trauma—”

  “Stop,” I said, and I removed my glasses. “About the optical trauma. Look at my eyes.”

  “I’m not an ophtha…” he began, but I interrupted: “Most normal light hurts my eyes. If I lost my glasses and was exposed to very bright light for three, four days, could that cause the pattern you spoke of?”

  “Possibly…” he said. “Yes, I’d say so.”

  “But there’s more?”

  “I’m not sure. We have to take more readings, and if I know the story behind this it will help a lot.”

  “Sorry,” I said. “I need the tape now.”

  He sighed and made a small gesture with his left hand as he turned away.

  “All right, Mister Smith.”

  Cursing the genius of the mountain, I left the General Hospital, carrying my tape like a talisman. In my mind I searched, through forests of memory, for a ghost sword in a stone of smoke, I think.

  Back at the Lodge, they were waiting. Lanning and the newsmen.

  “What was it like?” asked one of the latter.

  “What was what like?”

  “The mountain. You were up on it, weren’t you?”

  “No comment.”

  “How high did you go?”

  “No comment.”

  “How would you say it compares with Kasla?”

  “No comment.”

  “Did you run into any complications?”

  “Ditto. Excuse me, I want to take a shower.”

  Henry followed me into my room. The reporters tried to.

  After I had shaved and washed up, mixed a drink and lit a cigarette, Lanning asked me his more general question:

  “Well?” he said.

  I nodded.

  “Difficulties?”

  I nodded again.

  “Insurmountable?”

  I hefted the tape and thought a moment “Maybe not.”

  He helped himself to the whiskey. The second time around, he asked:

  “You going to try?”

  I knew I was. I knew I’d try it all by myself if I had to. “I really don’t know,” I said.

  ‘Why not?”

  “Because there’s something up there,” I said, “something that doesn’t want us to do it.”

  “Something lives up there?”

  “I’m not sure whether that’s the right word.”

  He lowered the drink.

  “What the hell happened?”

  “I was threatened. I was attacked.”

  “Threatened? Verbally? In English?” He set his drink aside, which shows how serious his turn of mind had to be. “Attacked?” he added. “By what?”

 

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