Her Highlander for One Night, page 18
‘Glynnis? Forbia told me you had arrived.’ Elizabeth rushed to her side. ‘Is she ill?’ she asked Anna.
‘I feel ill, but am not, my lady.’ She began to stand until the lady waved her back down. ‘I am sorry I could not send word to you. After your last letter saying that Iain was leaving for Edinburgh two days ago, I had to take the only chance I could to leave my father’s house to get here to speak to you.’
‘But Iain did not leave... Oh,’ Elizabeth said.
‘I saw him at the gate.’ Now Elizabeth and Anna exchanged glances. ‘Aye, with his betrothed. Lady Elen? They were leaving.’
‘To greet Arabella as she arrives here. His aunt is coming to meet—’ Another sentence interrupted.
‘To meet his betrothed, I am certain,’ she said. ‘I pray you to be at ease of this. I ken he is betrothed. I ken his family would want to meet her before there is a public celebration.’ She let out a sigh. ‘I just did not think to see him here. Lady, truly I tried to avoid it,’ she said to Elizabeth. ‘I had no one else to ask for advice. For help.’
She felt the shivers before she understood what was happening. Her whole body erupted in tremors and the need to empty her empty belly struck again. The sight of the two women leaning in closer and talking about her grew hazy and dark.
‘Lady Glynnis,’ Anna said. Anna tapping Glynnis’s cheek seemed to hold the darkness at bay. A warm blanket covered her and her body’s shaking eased from its heat. ‘She is exhausted, my lady. Travelling in this condition could not be easy. She should rest and I will fix a tisane to help settle her stomach so she can keep down some soup.’
‘I agree,’ Lady Elizabeth said. ‘Forbia, ready a chamber for my goddaughter—’ She stopped and pointed at the lass. ‘And spread no gossip about this. I want no rumours spreading from you.’ The servant’s eyes grew wider and wider until Glynnis thought the girl might faint dead away.
‘Aye, my lady.’
‘Forbia?’ Glynnis called to the maid. ‘My thanks for your help today.’ The girl smiled and curtsied to her lady and left.
‘And then? After I rest?’ she asked. ‘There is more you need to ken about my father’s marriage plans for me. It could not have taken my father very long to discover I am gone and he will ken where I have headed, my lady.’
‘Rest. Drink Anna’s concoctions. Then we can talk about what you must do or must not once you feel stronger.’ Her godmother paused and tapped her finger to her lips. ‘I must come up with something to tell Robert about your presence here.’
‘A last visit to my godmother before marrying?’ Glynnis asked. It was the ready excuse she’d used already along the way.
‘Perfect for my use then since it is based on truth.’ She stepped back. ‘Anna, could you escort Glynnis to her chamber when it’s ready?’
‘Aye. I will go to my workroom to make what I need and return in a short time. Glynnis, rest here until I do.’ Anna left, leaving only Glynnis and her godmother in the solar.
‘I did not mean to cause upheaval in your life again, Lady.’ The exhaustion struck her and her whole body felt as though she was covered by large rocks weighing her down. ‘My father told me of the marriage he’d arranged just days after I realised...after I realised...’ She succumbed to exhaustion.
* * *
The next time she opened her eyes, she lay ensconced in a warm bed with a thickly stuffed mattress and layers and layers of blankets. She remembered not how she got there or when. A glance at the shuttered window revealed it was yet day. The sounds from the corridor told her those living in the keep were still busy. She did not recognise this chamber as she pushed up on her elbows to look around.
Someone had hung the few gowns and other garments she’d brought on pegs or neatly piled them on a small table below the others. The leather sack of her things lay there, too.
Only at that second did she realise that she’d abandoned the men who’d escorted her without a word. If her belongings were here, they must have turned them over to Lady Elizabeth or one of her servants. That someone would see to their needs of food and drink comforted her a bit. It was how things were done here at Achnacarry.
A soft knock was the only warning before the latch lifted and the door opened.
‘My lady?’ Anna. ‘May I come in?’
Glynnis pushed herself up to sit, waiting for the terrible rolling and twisting in her belly—which did not happen. Pulling the sheet up to cover her shift, she gave permission.
‘Well, you look much better.’ Anna checked the cups sitting on the table next to the bed.
‘How long have I slept?’ Gathering the length of her hair in her hands, she ran her fingers through the tangles before weaving a rough braid that would be sufficient for now.
‘You arrived before noon and it’s now just before sunset,’ Anna said. ‘The men who brought you said it’s been a difficult journey for you. Sick at sea for days. Sick while riding the last miles. You scared them this morn.’
‘I did?’ They’d given no sign of being concerned about her during the journey... But they had. In their own way, both of them had helped her, sometimes before or without her asking for it.
‘Men tend to avoid anything that has to do with crying women or womanly ills.’ Anna sat on the bed’s edge. ‘So, the tisane worked?’
‘Anna, I remember it not.’ She searched her memories and the last coherent thought she had was in the lady’s solar. ‘How did I even get here? Or get in bed?’
‘I do not doubt that. Forbia and one of the other maids helped in getting you settled here. Would you like to dress or wash?’ Anna stood and reached for a clean gown. ‘Supper will begin shortly and you might feel better up and moving.’
Accepting her help, Glynnis slid from under the bedcovers. She stopped and looked at the woman whose grandchild was now, tenuously, in Glynnis’s belly.
‘Anna, why? Why are you not barraging me with questions? Or demanding I tell Iain?’
‘I did not realise I was carrying Iain when I saw Malcolm for the last time.’ Anna paused for a moment, staring off, lost in her thoughts. ‘But my mother did. Euan, his father, the chieftain, kenned that we were in love and I was a danger to his plans. So, he threatened my mother to make her leave and take me away. We moved when I was only three months along.’
Anna sat again, once more staring at the wall. Three months—the same amount of time since she’d been with Iain.
‘Lady, I had my mother and her kin to support me during that terrifying time. I was young and scared. The women on Mackenzie lands took me in, made me welcome and helped me learn to be a mother while my own taught me to be a healer.’
Anna met her gaze now.
‘You have no mother in truth. No kin to support you in this dangerous time for you. Your only support is Lady Elizabeth and you have risked all to get here to seek advice. How could I add to the burden and fears weighing you down?’ Without being asked, Anna walked to Glynnis and began lacing up the gown. ‘I have an opinion to give when you wish to hear it. If you wish to.’
‘And Iain?’
‘Well, I have an opinion about him as well that I will give you when you are ready.’ Smoothing the garment down, Anna walked around her until she faced her. ‘Will you join us at table?’
‘Nay. They ken I am here, but my presence will disturb too many people.’
‘He’s asked about you already.’
‘We are friends. I would ask after him.’ She said it a bit forcefully, hoping she could accept that explanation, too. ‘I will walk a bit while everyone is at supper.’
‘Lady Elizabeth will send up a tray if you can eat?’ Anna looked at her for a response. Glynnis nodded. ‘Soup? Bread?’ She nodded again. Anna refilled the cup on the table and poured a bit of something from the little bottle there. ‘Sip this before you sleep tonight. It should help to ease your belly in the morn.’
Once Anna left, Glynnis pulled on her stockings and shoes and found her shawl. Her hair was less than perfect, but since everyone would be busy with the meal, no one would see her or notice. Going down the stairs and taking the door that the servants used, she walked into the yard and stopped.
The stormy and threatening day had turned into a glorious one. The sunset, spreading golds and reds against the blue sky, reminded her how beautiful it could be here. After breathing in the air cleaned by the rains, she walked towards the training yard. Empty and quiet, she lost herself in her thoughts.
The one thing, the one that would make it easier to take any decision would be knowing if she would carry this bairn to birth. So far, she had no idea. They’d spoken of damage and an inability to have a babe. Even conceiving a bairn would not be possible, they’d counselled. Their words were not given as guesses but as facts, so she thought herself unable. Clearly, they’d been wrong about that.
Mayhap they were wrong about the rest?
She walked around the fence, kicking at stones as she went. The doors to the keep were open and a cheer went up inside. Tempted to go to the hall, Glynnis decided that she should not. Now that Lady Elen was here...
How could she tell him? How could she take away his dreams and the life he’d create when she knew not if she would lose this bairn as she had the other three? And there’d been so much bleeding the last time, the healer said she’d almost died. So, take away his chance at happiness when she could promise him...nothing?
Nay. She could not do that to him. She loved him too much to tear his life apart on something that might disappear on the morrow. The only way she would know the outcome would be to wait and by that time he would have married the King’s kin. Nay. She could not tell him.
When she looked up, he was standing in front of her. Seeing him, she understood that she’d made her decision.
She could not tell him.
Chapter Eighteen
‘I was on my way to the hall when I saw you out here.’ That was partially a lie, but she did not need to know it. ‘Are you not coming to supper?’
At that exact moment she moved into a stream of the setting sun’s light and it surrounded her. Her hair shone in colours he did not usually see—golds and auburns—as she turned to face him. Her colour was better than the grim pallor in her face when she’d arrived.
‘Nay.’ She shook her head. ‘I am not hungry.’ As she pulled her shawl tighter around her shoulders, he thought she looked thinner than the last time he’d seen her. Her gown hung loosely on her body as though too big for her size. ‘I would not like to encourage my stomach to rebel once more and repeat what happened just over there when I arrived.’ Glynnis lifted a hand and pointed off near the fence closest to the stables.
‘You travelled by boat?’ Large or small, smooth surface or waves, it mattered not. Glynnis’s stomach could not abide the movement on water.
‘You remember?’ she asked. Before he could laugh at what they both remembered, she spoke. ‘I am still truly and heartily sorry for that.’
He’d assumed, since her family was from the coastal lands, that she was accustomed to travel by boat. In spite of her warnings, they’d gone out on the loch in a fisherman’s boat and...his best boots had been the victim.
‘Your mother has given me something to settle my distress.’ She touched her hand to her stomach. ‘Not the most horrid of her treatments at least.’
‘What brings you here, Glynnis?’ From the shocked look on her pale face this morn, she had not expected him to be here. So, she must have been in contact with Lady Elizabeth before the change in the plan to go to Edinburgh.
She did not speak at once. She was considering her words and from the small telling movements of her teeth on her lips and her shifting gaze, he knew she was about to lie to him.
‘My father gave me permission to visit my godmother one last time before I travel to his estate in England for my marriage.’ He did not expect that. And now, he could not tell if it was the truth.
‘England?’ She would move to England and he’d never see her again. If she spoke the truth.
‘Aye. He has arranged a marriage to one of the noblemen with an estate bordering on ours. He, William, is in need of a wife.’
‘And so you will go.’ It was not a question truly for the sad smile and shrug she made reminded him that women, that she, did not have the right to object. ‘I do wish you well, Glynnis. I—’ What else could he say?
They both carried out the duties expected of them and they would go separately about their lives. When he looked at her, he could see she struggled.
‘Are you certain you will not join us at table?’
‘That does not seem a good thing to do. I will upset the company and make things awkward.’ True and yet he did not want her to disappear without another word to him. Selfish, he knew, but he could not help himself on that.
‘She seems lovely, Iain.’ The compliment sounded sincere, but he would expect nothing less from her.
‘She is.’ He heard the little, short intake of breath and knew he’d surprised her. As he’d been surprised that he did like Elen. ‘Elen is not what anyone expected.’
The laugh she uttered sounded sad.
‘Iain, I thought you would be away. I did not plan to see you and upset your arrangements,’ she said softly. And yet he was glad to see her again, whatever the reason.
‘The King changed his plans, so we changed ours,’ he explained without saying more. Robert wanted to keep the knowledge of the rest of the debacle in the making to a very small number.
Cheers erupted in the hall and echoed across the yard to them, reminding him where he should be. He stared at her, taking in what could be his last look, before nodding his farewell and walking back to the keep. He glanced back and noticed that the sun had dropped and no longer illuminated her. But he would remember her as he’d seen her.
Reaching the steps, he climbed them and entered the hall. The main table was filling with those closest to the chieftain and he took his place with Elen beside him and Tomas to her other side. He kept a watch on the open door, hoping that Glynnis would walk through it and join them.
But, in the end, she made the most sensible decision and did not attend the meal.
* * *
Glynnis kept to the shadows, entering below-stairs and coming up the stairway that led to the tower. Standing there, in a small alcove that hid her from view, she watched him.
Watched them.
Lady Elen was a stunning woman. She laughed often and well and managed to draw Iain into it. Glynnis wished that his face could have softened and lit with enjoyment for her. But it was not meant to be. The lady was bold, sitting close to him and placing her hand on him as they ate and spoke. She and Elen were as different as night and day in their temperament and behaviour.
From here, she could see that Iain did like her.
Though her heart hurt, she was glad he would have someone not afraid to show her emotions before others. Someone who would bring joy into his life.
‘He looks more and more like his father with each passing year.’ The soft voice startled her, for standing where she was, no one should have been aware of her.
‘My lady,’ Glynnis said, nodding to Iain’s aunt. Arabella Cameron was known as the kindest, most beautiful and gracious lady in the Highlands and Glynnis had tried to emulate her behaviour. ‘Is The Mackintosh with you?’ Glancing at the table, she did not see him.
‘Nay. I wanted to meet the woman Iain will marry but without all the ceremony that seems to happen when he arrives.’ Lady Mackintosh laughed. ‘I wanted to be informal and get a chance to speak to her. To find out more about her.’
‘She seems lovely, though I have only been introduced to her,’ she said.
‘She has a sense of humour and I think that will be good for him.’
Glynnis just nodded, growing unable to speak for fear her voice or words would give away her true feelings.
‘Elizabeth told me you’d been unwell. Are you feeling better?’ the lady asked.
‘I am. The journey was hard and I do not travel well on water,’ Glynnis said, covering her stomach with her hand.
‘Many of us do not travel well.’ Arabella turned to Glynnis. ‘Elizabeth has asked me to offer you counsel on some private matter. She said you needed help and advice? But I will not step into where my words are not welcome.’
Glynnis almost laughed aloud at the lie. The Mackintosh complained often about how his wife loved nothing better than meddling and manipulating those around her. And that, since how much she intruded was commensurate with how much she cared, he was forced to allow it to continue.
Had Elizabeth told her the truth? Was she meddling because it involved her beloved nephew?
‘You are looking peaked, Glynnis. Seek your bed and rest. We can speak on the morrow if you wish it.’ Glynnis lowered her head respectfully when Iain’s aunt took hold of her hands and pulled her close. ‘You still love him?’
‘I do. Against all sense of pride and common wisdom, I do.’
The admission slipped out without hesitation. The lady looked as if she had something else to say and chose not to.
‘Get some rest.’
Then she was gone, as silently as she’d arrived. Glynnis left the alcove and sought her chamber.
A tray awaited her, with a bowl of broth and some bread, as Anna had promised. Though not hungry, Glynnis ate it, dipping the bread into the soup and chewing it. Her stomach seemed soothed, but she sipped the cup as she undressed and readied for bed.
She fell asleep with her hands on her belly, praying for so many things.
