DUNGEON DIVE: Aim for the Deepest Level Volume 3, page 25
It’s not over!
I quit my moaning, took some deep breaths, and consolidated the information I needed to surmount this situation.
“Hm, not quite there, huh? So you’ve still got some hope left—milady and the rest,” muttered Palinchron expressionlessly, before prodding me with his next words. “Question is, are they coming to your rescue? Neither milady nor the Apostle are gonna recover that quickly, you know.”
I understood right away that he was trying to crush my hopes, so I replied, undaunted, “There’s also Mr. Hine...and Ms. Radiant.”
“Nope, Hine’s dead.”
...
“He... He’s dead?”
But Palinchron left it at that, shifting right to the next thing. “Sera can’t be free to move either. She has milady and the Apostle to guard, after all. Having lost their strongest pawn in Hine, they’ve got no means of rescuing you two,” he said casually.
But none of the rest of what he said entered my brain. “Wait, hold on. Mr. Hine’s dead?”
“Yep. That idiot cashed in his life to let the other three escape. And then he ate it,” Palinchron replied curtly.
I could feel any semblance of composure crumbling. My heart was pounding, and the sweat felt nasty on my skin. I had no reason to believe him. Take my sworn enemy at his word? What kind of nonsense would that be? But my shallow, rapid breathing belied my logic.
“Ha, ha ha, oh really? Him of all people, dead? You want me to believe that?”
By implying that Mr. Hine was too strong to die, I was trying to brush Palinchron’s words aside. This was the Celestial Knight who was in contention for the mightiest of them all. I wanted to believe there was no way he could fall.
“He’s dead, all right. He was already at his limit when he arrived at the cathedral. That’s all there is to it.”
The only time my adversary wasn’t smiling was when he was speaking of Hine’s death.
“You lie. How could I believe such—”
“Hine’s dead, and Pheydelt’s plot is still trucking. That’s the hole they’re in now. They’re on the run. Isn’t it unfair of you to want them to come save you?”
There he was, pointing out how unlikely our rescue was. And he made sure to add that it wasn’t the only piece of bad news.
“If anything, you’re the one who should be swooping in to save them. As the big righteous hero who whisked the princess out of Whoseyards, it’s your responsibility to go bail them out. Otherwise, they’ll fall into Pheydelt’s and his cronies’ hands sooner or later.”
He was right. It wasn’t as though Lastiara and her group were now in the clear just because I’d taken them out of the cathedral. In fact, now that they were on the lam, their troubles were only beginning. If things had gone according to plan, I could have made our life on the run an easy one by making use of Connection. But I wasn’t at their side.
However overpowered Lastiara and Dia were in their own right, I didn’t know if they had any means of handling the waves of people the government would constantly send their way over a long stretch of time. For all I knew, Whoseyards might capture Lastiara and Dia the very next day.
“Can those three bunglers who’re so ignorant about the world really give their Whoseyards pursuers the slip forever? Not a single one of them seems the cunning type.”
Palinchron smiled maliciously and got to his feet. Then, as he spoke, he slowly walked to the dark side of the room.
“I’d love to join the hunt for the jewelculus and the Apostle myself, but now that the hero of legend and the half-Guardian are in our lap, I’ll try not to be too greedy. We’ve got enough material to experiment with.”
I heard a fleshy squishing sound. It gave me the willies.
Palinchron picked up an object in a corner of the room and leisurely brought it back over to me. I couldn’t make it out in the darkness. I could tell the object was round, but nothing else. He took a seat again.
“First things first, why don’t I get some use out of Hine’s body?”
He used the candle to cast light on the round object. It was a human head. The cranium of a good-looking blond man who was sleeping with a peaceful expression. There was no mistaking him—this was the head of Hine Hellvilleshine.
“Ah, arghh, aughh!”
Hair of bright gold hung over his eyes, and his cheeks were covered with a number of scratches. Red blood was dripping from his mouth...and there was nothing below his neck.
The head was that of a fairy tale-handsome prince. And it was the head of a dead man. A head so mercilessly, ruthlessly devoid of life.
“Ha ha. By using the materials we’ve got here, creating a being to surpass Lastiara Whoseyards is no pipe dream. I’ve got no reason to concern myself with milady or the Apostle!”
Palinchron had just referred to Mr. Hine’s head as a “material.” And I was sure that was exactly what Maria and I were to him too. I grimaced when it fully dawned on me in what way he’d be using his guinea pigs. I didn’t need a mirror to be able to tell. My face was no doubt so contorted with terror and grief that it was piteous to behold.
My pool of knowledge was broad but shallow; pointlessly, my imagination went to work. The severed head before my eyes conjured up images of dissection and disassembly. Textbook photos of a frog being cut open, which I had seen when I was younger, bubbled up into mind. I imagined myself in the frog’s place, and a small shriek rose from the back of my throat.
Am I gonna die too? Am I gonna die just like Mr. Hine?
Am I gonna die in a world separated from my sister? Am I gonna die a dog’s death, without a shred of human dignity?
And am I gonna end up dragging the girl who looks just like Hitaki, the girl I swore I’d make happy, down with me?
Am I gonna leave behind Lastiara, Dia, and everybody I tried to protect, dying with my goals unfulfilled?
Am I gonna die?
The human head thrust under my nose tolled as a death knell in my skull.
This is the end. The end. In other words, I’m gonna die.
I’m gonna die.
I’m gonna die.
I’m gonna DIE.
I’m DEA—
【THE FOLLOWING SKILL HAS BEEN ACTIVATED: ???】
Stabilizes your mental state in exchange for some of your emotion.
+1.00 to Confusion.
My desire not to die tripped “???” And I didn’t have the strength to fight it. It ran away from me.
【STATUS】
CONDITION: Confusion 10.82, Sedated 0.12
My Confusion had hit the double digits—the threshold that my gut had told me to avoid. And a notification I’d never seen before displayed in my field of view:
【THE FOLLOWING SKILL HAS BEEN ACTIVATED: ???】
Your Confusion has reached 10.00, surpassing ???’s limit.
Commencing Repayment. The Confusion that you accumulated will be converted to your original emotions.
It was all getting “paid back.”
“Wait, huh? Ah, aughh, aghhh...”
Repayment? I couldn’t understand what that meant at first. I was forced to experience it personally before I comprehended it on an intellectual level.
Then, everything broke down. My thoughts, a violent torrent. A panoply of negative emotions whirled tempestuously. Feelings I had felt in the past came roaring back, exactly as I’d felt them then.
The despair of being used as bait for a savage beast hit me like a ton of bricks. The apocalyptic isolation of being alone in this world enveloped me. The anxiety that I might lose my beloved sister surged within me. The humiliation of being toyed with by nefarious means suffused my mind. The stress of the time I had been wrapped up in an outrageous atrocity gnawed at my soul. The icky sensation of one’s own world being forcibly painted over engulfed me. The fear of death roused by facing an entity of tremendous might jammed ice into my spine. Instances of mind pollution caused by mental magic recurred. And my previously buried infatuation for Lastiara was unearthed.
A mass of emotions colossal enough to beckon death was returned to me all at once.
“Ah, ahhh, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
A mere “repayment” this was not. It came with interest. The emotions all intertwined, magnifying one another. This wasn’t simple addition. This was multiplication. And the exponentially swollen tumor of horrible feelings filled my heart to bursting.
My spirit rewound all the way back to that first day I had stumbled through the Dungeon, to the moment I was almost eaten by a wolf after being left to rot by fellow human beings. And now all of the negative emotions I’d experienced from that point up until today hammered into that weaker spirit. The storm of my psyche raged far beyond any single person’s maximum tolerance.
“H-Hey, pal. What’s gotten into you all of a sudd—”
“AAAAAGHHHH!!! Make it stop! I can’t take it! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! Why?! Tell me! Why’s it gotta be this way?! What about me isn’t good enough?! Why did this happen?! WHYYYYY?!!!”
Palinchron was saying something. It sounded faint and distant to my ears. I didn’t have the composure to process any of it.
I... I can’t breathe...
I was gulping down so much air, but it didn’t fill my lungs one micron. It was unrelenting. My diaphragm spasmed. More air escaped me with each convulsion. Lacking oxygen, I panicked and tried to draw breath again, which only made my diaphragm spasm even more. Before long, it went beyond convulsions into outright pain. My whole body writhed in agony.
“Wh-Whoa there, laddie, you telling me Hine’s corpse is that upsetting to you?! Or is it death itself that’s so taboo?!”
His voice felt distant. Worlds away, even. All that time, a worrying amount of sweat cascaded from me, robbing heat from my body, which hadn’t been feeling hot to begin with.
And indeed, my body wasn’t flushed with heat. That much was certain. But for some reason, my brain felt it, and I couldn’t stop sweating. Perhaps my brain misinterpreted the burning murk of my negative emotions as heat. It was like being made to drink boiling oil while taking a shower of skin-peeling ice water.
It was unbearable. It was intolerable. I wanted to faint right that second, but the pain wouldn’t allow me to. I knew that exerting myself would hurt, but I couldn’t endure my body falling to pieces, and I ended up tensing up anyway—I gritted my teeth and twisted my neck as far as it would go. My eyes were literally, not figuratively, threatening to pop out.
The anguish. The agony. The PAIN.
It was so bad, I could die! It’s so bad I’m seriously gonna die!
“Oh, shit! Palinchron! I thought you said you were going to take your time whittling the boy down! I thought he was irreplaceable! At this rate, his heart’s gonna split in two!”
“I KNOW, okay?! Just shut up for a second, Rayle! Tch! Never would have thought I’d end up having to use Tida’s mental magic to heal!”
Ahh, aughh, can people... Can people really come this close to death just from their mental state?
Time after time in media like dramas and comics, I’d seen characters fall into shock. It looked quite physically harrowing, but I’d thought it was pure fiction. I’d figured mere matters of the heart could never cause me this much pain.
Well, I was wrong. I’d only thought that way because I was immature. I didn’t know until I experienced it myself.
It was no exaggeration. It felt like I might stop breathing altogether at any moment. I felt like my heart might break. My consciousness ebbed due to the knives the pain had stuck into me. It hurt so horrifically that it made me want to scratch out my throat. If my carotid artery was severed in the process, so be it. If death would release me from this torment, then as things stood, my hands were ready and willing to reach for my neck.
Ahh, of course. Death. I’ll just die. That’s right. If I die, the pain will end. I can rest again. I can rest...
My hand reached for death—
【THE FOLLOWING SKILL HAS BEEN ACTIVATED: ???】
Stabilizes your mental state in exchange for some of your emotion.
+1.00 to Confusion.
The hand reaching for my neck froze up.
Ah, huh, wait, what?
The pain is too much. Put me out of my misery.
I can’t take it anymore. So let me die—
【THE FOLLOWING SKILL HAS BEEN ACTIVATED: ???】
Stabilizes your mental state in exchange for some of your emotion.
+1.00 to Confusion.
No, stop, please, no...
You can activate till the cows come home; it won’t do a thing for me. How do you not realize that?
Even if “???” triggers ten times over, it can’t erase all of the negative emotions I got from the repayment. With the interest added, there’s more to erase than it ever took from me to begin with!
【THE FOLLOWING SKILL HAS BEEN ACTIVATED: ???】
Stabilizes your mental state in exchange for some of your emotion.
+1.00 to Confusion.
【THE FOLLOWING SKILL HAS BEEN ACTIVATED: ???】
Stabilizes your mental state in exchange for some of your emotion.
+1.00 to Confusion.
【THE FOLLOWING SKILL HAS BEEN ACTIVATED: ???】
Stabilizes your mental state in exchange for some of your emotion.
+1.00 to Confusion.
At this rate, I’ll get slapped with another “Repayment,” and the added interest will only make the negative emotions balloon even more. It’s counter-productive. Do you not even understand that much?
Ahh, arghh... Aughhhh! In other words...
In other words, “???” is defective.
I’m gonna get Repayment-ed all over again!
【THE FOLLOWING SKILL HAS BEEN ACTIVATED: ???】
Stabilizes your mental state in exchange for some of your emotion.
+1.00 to Confusion.
【THE FOLLOWING SKILL HAS BEEN ACTIVATED: ???】
Stabilizes your mental state in exchange for some of your emotion.
+1.00 to Confusion.
【THE FOLLOWING SKILL HAS BEEN ACTIVATED: ???】
Stabilizes your mental state in exchange for some of your emotion.
+1.00 to Confusion.
It’s no use.
If that massive hurricane of negative emotions gets any larger, I won’t be able to bear it.
I’m toast.
“Spellcast: Deprived Martyr! Spellcast: Demystifier’s Retuning!”
Palinchron’s voice pushed my “???” skill back into its box. And a small—and I did mean small—light shone dimly on the bottom of the sludgy darkness.
“Kanami, buddy! There’s still hope! If you die on us, that’s putting us in a bind!”
The man I loathed the most in all the world was shouting at me not to despair. By spending a vast amount of magic energy, he was crafting a spell to save my crumbling psyche. For the first time, I witnessed Palinchron being less aloof.
“Don’t despair! It’s not over for you yet! Stay awake so you can listen to what I’ve got to say!”
His spell tethered my consciousness to the outside world. The frighteningly strong magic energy streamed into my body. But that wasn’t a bad thing; it was washing away the negative emotions that were eating away at me. I got the sense that through the flow of his magic energy, the pain all throughout my body was abating. My anxiety dissipated, my heart returned to normal, and I stopped sweating profusely.
It gave me the space to start thinking again, albeit only to a small extent.
“Ah, ahhh...” My mind recovered in the nick of time.
“Hff... hfff... The Vigesimal Trial is yet to come. Did I give him a bit too much of a scare?”
I opened my eyes slightly and was greeted by the sight of Palinchron panting hard. He didn’t hide how flustered he was as he wiped the sweat from his brow. Mr. Rayle was likewise perturbed.
“Palinchron...can we execute the plan with the boy in such a state?”
A pause. “We’ve got no choice but to adjust things to go softer on him than we’d planned. Unless we give him all the hope he could want, the lad’s mind might just go necrotic on us.”
I heard the words “execute the plan” and “adjust things,” but I didn’t have the wherewithal to analyze what they were saying. I may have evaded death, but my body wouldn’t budge an inch. It seemed as though it was as utterly worn out as my heart.
The magic energy that had stabilized my mental state was now rushing every which way in order to tamper with it. This energy wasn’t the kind that had kept me alive. It was more unpleasant than that, and therefore much more Palinchron.
“Urgh...”
Even if it spared my life, having my mind tampered with by the guy was hard to accept. I tried fighting it with all my might, but there was no way out of it, and not just because of my restraints. The repeated use of “???” had left both mind and body on the verge of collapse.
Seeing me trying to muster some strength, Palinchron’s expression turned distressed. “Kanami, ol’ chum, please just take it lying down... If you do, I’ll spare little miss Maria. I promise you she’ll be safe.”
Though my mind was at death’s door, I talked back to him. “Ah, agh...like...like I can believe you...”
“I’m no liar. I keep my promises. As I let slip earlier, if you die on us, we’re the ones in a fix, and that’s the honest truth. If you commit suicide by resisting, we’ll be extremely badly off. So I’m telling you that in exchange for you not committing suicide, I’ll spare the little lady.”
Palinchron was speaking not in his usual mocking tone but earnestly instead. It appeared that my “???” skill running wild like that had changed his line of thinking more than I’d anticipated.
