P.S. Goodbye, page 12
“Don’t worry about it. It’s cool. We’re cool.” Grant tucked that wayward piece of hair behind her ear again before shoving his hand in his pocket.
Man, she wished he lingered like last time.
She’d been trying to push him away for a week, and it seemed he’d finally listened only now that she knew she wanted him.
She stepped in front of him as he turned toward the car. “I’m serious. I don’t have feelings for Mason.”
A look of doubt passed over his face. He shrugged and continued walking. “Let’s go find Olivia and Nate.”
She planted her hands on her hips and blocked his path again. How could she explain if he wouldn’t listen?
Maybe kissing him was the only option. She’d been spontaneous once. She could do it again. Right? She stepped closer. This time, she’d finish that kiss.
His turquoise eyes filled with his own questions. She could do this. Another step closer. Deep breath. Her mouth went dry as her pulse pounded in her ears. She licked her drying lips. Being spontaneous was easier when she didn’t take the time to think about it.
Caroline reached up and traced the scar over his eye with one finger. Grant’s eyes shut with her movement and his body leaned toward her.
“Grant! Caroline!” Nate shouted from down the walk.
Both took a step back as the couple approached.
Nate pulled his keys from his pocket. “The rain is picking up again. Ready to go?”
Was it raining again? Sure enough, a steady light rain fell, and by the way her curls dripped water, it hadn’t just started.
“We’d better run for it before it starts pouring again.” Olivia tugged Nate’s arm.
Too late. The sky opened up as the four ran for the car. Caroline climbed in the back next to Grant, both soaking wet. She pulled her phone from her coat pocket to make sure it had stayed dry, then set it on her lap.
He stared at her, then placed his hand on the seat between them but looked out the front. What she wouldn’t give to have just a few more minutes alone with him to make sure he understood.
She rested her hand next to his, close but not touching. The light brush of his pinky finger on hers set every nerve singing.
Her phone buzzed from her lap, and it took Caroline a second to register what it was. Really? She glanced at her phone and froze.
MASON: I need to see you.
Caroline scooped it up before Grant could see. She started to shut it off when another text came in.
MASON: I found your grandma’s necklace.
Grant leaned forward to say something to Nate.
She held the phone close and typed out a quick text.
CAROLINE: When?
MASON: I can bring it over tonight?
Was the guy delusional? No way!
CAROLINE: No. Donny’s tomorrow at noon.
MASON: Can’t wait. See you then.
She dropped her phone into her purse and turned back to Grant. He’d leaned back into the seat, the same position he’d been in before, but with his arms crossed. Had he seen the text? She needed to explain but not here. They could try to whisper, but it would still be awkward in front of Nate and Olivia. She’d call him tonight after they were all home.
“Olivia and I talked about watching a movie when we get back. Can you believe she has never seen Better Off Dead?” Nate glanced at them in the rearview mirror.
“Not everyone is as obsessed with John Cusack as you are, Nate.”
“They should be. The guy’s movies are classic. You two want to join us?”
“Sorry,” Grant spoke up before Caroline could even consider it. He closed his eyes, sank down further into his seat, and tipped his head back. “Running at quarter to five comes early. I’m already barely staying awake.”
Caroline swallowed the lump that rose in her throat. So much for talking later tonight or even sharing a few whispers on the way home. He’d effectively cut off all earlier connection.
Whatever had caused the shift, she had to fix it. And soon. But how could she do that if she didn’t know what had gone wrong?
Chapter 11
No matter how he played it in his head, Grant still came out on the losing end. He dug his shoes into the gravel and pushed himself faster as if he could outrun the memory of last night, but his legs burned in protest. He’d taken the long route today, and after pushing himself hard the past nine miles, he wasn’t sure he had the final one in him.
He slowed his pace, tipped his head back, and drew a quick gulp from his water bottle. Just enough to keep him from cramping, then he picked up speed again.
If Nate and Olivia hadn’t interrupted his moment with Caroline, last night might have ended very differently—who was he kidding, it would have ended very differently. But the interruption had been for the best. No matter how much he liked kissing her, he preferred it not being a knee-jerk reaction to finding out Mason had cheated on her.
She’d claimed she hadn’t been jealous, and he’d wanted to believe her. He almost had when she’d licked the edge of her lips and ran her finger down his scar.
But he couldn’t dismiss the text. He had tried not to look, and he hadn’t seen much. Just Mason’s name and her words Donny’s tomorrow at noon followed by the reply of Can’t wait. See you then.
So that was that.
Grant stopped in front of Nate’s house and checked his pulse. He downed the rest of his water, stretched his hamstrings, and headed inside for more water.
Now what? Stay in Heritage? Not likely. She had given him the number for the security team—code for you can leave my life now, please.
He’d always assumed that he’d jump at the chance to do field work again—be on a team again—but nothing in him wanted to dial that number. Caroline had changed him. Made him want more. A home. A family.
But Caroline didn’t want him. Or at least not as her first choice, and he didn’t like playing runner-up.
Grant downed a full glass of water and then filled it again before heading toward his room.
He snatched up his phone and dialed the number before he changed his mind. Three rings later a familiar voice answered. “Eagle Eye Security. This is Cooper.”
Grant dropped onto the edge of his bed. “Coop? Is that really you?”
“Who’s this?”
“Grant Quinn.”
“Quinn. What are you up to? Please tell me you’re looking for a job. We need you, buddy.”
“Maybe.”
“You’re killing me. When is the soonest you can get here?”
Grant rubbed his fingers over his scar. “You’re ready to give me a job, just like that?”
“Eh, there’s an interview process and paperwork, but both Jackson and Conway are here, too, and with the three of us vouching for you, you’re in.”
Grant stood and leaned his elbows against the window. The rain last night had brought down a layer of leaves that now blanketed the yard. “Tell me about the job.”
“The position we’re looking for now is someone to head up the European team. You’d be perfect.”
Europe? Talk about a jaunt from Heritage.
“You don’t have anything holding you there, do you?”
Grant turned his back to the window and rubbed his forehead. “No.”
“I’ll tell you what. Why don’t I fly you out, and we can talk. No harm in that. Can I get you on a flight tonight?”
“Tonight?”
“They’re already interviewing guys from all over. We don’t have time to sit on this.”
When Grant didn’t answer, Cooper spoke again. “What’s your closest city?”
“Grand Rapids, Michigan.”
“Great.” The click of computer keys carried through the phone. “There’s a flight at five-thirty. What’s your full name, birth date, and email?”
Grant rattled off his information, then ended the call. Cooper was right—it didn’t hurt to check it out. Especially on their dime.
He pulled his duffel bag from the closet and dropped it on the bed.
Nate poked his head into the room, a basketball under his arm. “Up for a game?”
“Can’t. Any chance you can give me a ride to the airport?”
“Now?” Nate glanced at his watch. “Where’re you going?”
“I’m checking out a job in Europe.”
The ball dropped from Nate’s hands. “You’re flying to Europe?”
Grant pulled open his top drawer and grabbed out a stack of T-shirts. “No. The main base is in Florida.” He picked up the ball and tossed it back to Nate. “But the position they’re looking to fill is in Europe.”
Nate caught the ball and spun it on his finger. “Wow. That’s cool.”
“Yup.”
“You must be excited.”
“Yup.”
Nate shoved the ball back under his arm. “You don’t sound excited.”
Grant sorted through his pants and added a few to the growing pile on the bed.
Nate spun the ball a few times, but he didn’t leave. “I thought when we talked the other night you weren’t sure you wanted to be that far away.”
“Things change.”
“Things with Caroline?”
Grant didn’t answer. He yanked open the drawer that held his shorts. Maybe Nate would get the idea he didn’t want to talk.
“You two looked pretty cozy when we found you last night.”
“That was before she decided to meet Mason today.”
“What?” The ball hit the floor as Nate dropped onto the bed, disrupting several of the piles. “Are they back together?”
“Seems that way.”
“Wait. Did she say they were?”
Grant paused his search through his socks but didn’t answer.
Nate stood and shoved the ball back under his arm and shook his head. “You know you’re like a brother, which is why I’ve gotta say this. You’re a mess. Ever since you showed up on my doorstep, your emotions are like shifting sand. You're running away from something you won’t talk about, and you refuse to run toward anything. You need an anchor, man.”
“Like God?” Grant couldn’t keep the sarcasm from his voice as he picked up a shirt and refolded it.
“You may think that your life was supposed to turn out differently—that somehow God failed you, but He didn’t. Junk happens. Not just to you. You can either choose to see how God wants to use that pain in your life or be angry.” Nate snapped his fingers and pointed at him. “Jacob.”
“What?” Grant added the shirt to his duffel and reached for another.
“Jacob. Jacob’s life wasn’t going according to plan. First, he has to run for his life so his brother doesn’t kill him. Then he works for seven years to marry the wrong girl. Then his father-in-law starts getting jealous of his success. But guess what? God had never left him. In fact, God used all that to build the twelve tribes. Grant, God has a plan He wants to work out in your life, and you can let Him, or you can fight Him.”
“I’m not fighting Him. I’m just doing my own thing.” He inspected another shirt, shook it out, and folded it again.
“And how’s that working out for you?”
“Fine.”
“I want more out of my life than fine. I thought you did too.”
Why was everyone against the word fine? Grant smoothed the shirt again. It still bunched. “Yeah, well, I went for more and failed.”
“Try again.”
Grant shook out the shirt once more with more force. “Are you saying that you think I should take this job, or are you saying I should go after Caroline?”
“I’m saying don’t leave because you’re running away from something. Figure out what you want and run toward it.” He checked his watch. “I’m off to shoot hoops. What time is your flight?”
“I need to leave here between twelve and one.”
Nate nodded and disappeared out the door.
Grant wadded the shirt and threw it on the bed.
His phone buzzed from the dresser as a text from an unknown number rolled in.
UNKNOWN: This is Seth.
Seth? Why did that name sound familiar. Probably wrong number or spam.
Nice to meet you, Seth. I’ll now delete you. Grant’s finger hovered over the delete key when another text came in.
UNKNOWN: You wrote your number in my drawing book.
Right. Grant tapped at the screen.
GRANT: The guy who could draw dragons. What’s up?
SETH: You really know a way to quit?
Was this God’s way of telling him he should stay?
GRANT: Want to talk?
* * *
SETH: Where?
GRANT: Donny’s. Noon.
That still gave him time to make his flight. And maybe he’d drop by the WIFI to talk to Caroline and decide if he wanted to make that flight or not.
His phone vibrated again, and he looked at the display.
* * *
SETH: Sure
SETH: Maybe
The answer wasn’t as solid as he wanted, but he’d be waiting. After all, Grant understood the maybes of life. Maybe he’d stop by Caroline’s. Maybe he’d take the flight. Maybe he’d someday stop fighting God. Today he’d deal with Seth’s maybe.
How could a day go so wrong? Caroline shoved her phone into her purse and slid into a booth at Donny’s. Grant still wasn’t answering his phone, and now she had to talk with Mason. Donny’s was a flurry of lunchtime rush, which was why she’d wanted to meet here.
There was no way she’d wanted him to come to her house last night, nor to meet him at some secluded place today. She didn’t really want to see him at all, but she needed her necklace, and if he needed closure—or whatever—she’d give it to him. But it would be here, on her territory.
After this meeting, this chapter of her life could be finally closed. Hopefully, he didn’t ask about his CD that was still on the floor of her car.
The door jingled as Mason entered the diner with a swagger. He closed the distance from the door to her booth in four strides and a too confident grin. Ugh. She turned away. His lips landed on her cheek, and she jerked back and glared at him, but he didn’t seem to notice.
Mason slid in across from her. “Same ole Donny’s.”
She turned and grabbed the nearest waitress. “Excuse me. We’re ready to order when you have a second.” Then she turned back to Mason and held out her hand. “My necklace.”
He reached out and took her hand in his. “First, let’s talk.”
She pulled her hand back and glared at him again, but he continued. “I’m sorry for how I ended things. I wasn’t sure what I wanted, or if I was ready for the future you had all laid out for us. You have to admit, it was a bit intense. But lately, I’ve really missed you, and after seeing you last night with Gary—”
“Grant.”
“I made a huge mistake in letting you go. I want you. I want us. We’re great together.”
“Can I please have my necklace?”
Some of the confidence faded from his eyes. “You can’t be serious about Gabe.”
“Grant.
“He isn’t right for you, and you know it.” One eyebrow lifted as he crossed his arms. “Military? The guy has ‘wanderer’ written all over him. That’s the last thing you want.”
Her gut churned at his words. After all, a week ago she would’ve agreed. Three weeks ago she might’ve jumped at the chance to get back together with Mason, but now? Now the only thing she was sure of was Grant. “Maybe you don’t know me as well as you think.”
“That isn’t true, and you know it.” He released a frustrated sigh and set a white heart-shaped box on the table between them.
The box looked more like a ring box than one that held a necklace. This was bad. Very bad.
His gaze and voice softened. “I do know you. And I know we’re perfect for each other.”
It wasn’t Mason’s fault that he thought he knew her now. Mason did know a piece of her, but she’d been very careful about what she’d allowed him to see. She’d never opened her heart to him like she had to Grant in those letters way back when. She hadn’t really opened herself to anyone that much since.
“We’re perfect for each other. Deep down, you know it too, Caroline.” He flipped the box open and slid it across the table. “Marry me?”
She wanted to believe he wasn’t serious, but the three-thousand-dollar princess-cut solitaire in front of her told another story. She looked up to speak, but words wouldn’t come. She looked back at the ring. Back to Mason.
“It’s the one we picked out together, remember? I had it sized and everything. Try it on.” Mason reached for the ring and lifted it out toward her.
That snapped her out of it. “No.”
“No?” Mason’s brow furrowed as if he didn’t understand the easiest translated word in all languages.
“No.” Caroline spoke slow and clear to help him out.
He stared at her a moment before confidence returned to his eyes. “You don’t mean that. I’ve seen your lists. I’m exactly what you’re looking for. I’ve seen your plan.”
“‘No plan survives contact with the enemy.’” Grant’s words came back to her and tumbled out her mouth.
He replaced the ring into the box. “Did you just call me the enemy?”
“No, it’s a saying. It’s just . . . my list is stupid.”
His nostrils flared as he steepled his fingers in front of his face. “Will you pray about it at least?”
This she didn’t need to pray about because, even if Grant didn’t exist, Mason was not what she wanted.
“Mason, I think you were right a month ago when you called it quits. I didn’t—don’t—yearn for you, and you admitted that you don’t feel that way about me either.”
“You’re the one who always said emotions were overrated.”
“I don’t feel that way anymore.”
“You’re saying that after only one date, you yearn for Grant?” His hand tightened into a fist, but at least he’d gotten the name right. “I don’t believe you.”
“You don’t have to.” Caroline held up her hand. “There’s nothing you can say that will make me change my mind.” She pushed the box across the table.
